Disclaimer: like always this idea doesn't belong to me.
So I just finished watching the series and I loved the relationship between Berlin and the professor, there was something from the beginning that I just knew I was going to ship them, some kind of understanding and the way I feel the professor is the only person Berlin respects from the beginning... So I had to write something.
English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes.
Memory
"I am a bastard. You know that." Andrés has always known what kind of person he is. Most of the time he looks like a gentlemen and tries to be likeable but there are moments when his true self comes out and he's capable of saying disgusting and horrible things to anyone who stands in his way. Some nights he would like to say he feels terrible but he doesn't. He enjoys the horror in other people's eyes any time he starts saying those nasty things. Andrés takes a moment to enjoy what he's about to say, he savours the words in his mouth before he lets them escape through his lips. Andrés loves shaping what he's going to say to make it sound as abominable as possible with the most flowery vocabulary. He feels like a poet for seconds. It's disgusting and he loves it.
"I know that." That's why he can't understand him. Andrés always tries to understand why he's with him. Andrés wants desperately to understand how it is possible that he can be this lucky. He looks at his brother and tries to find a reason to why someone as pure and idealistic can be by his side knowing the kind of person he really is. Andrés is not a good person; there are five women who could talk about his fancy old manners that hide the monster he is. Andrés likes to forget his true nature from time to time and just to blame the world when love fades in front of him to leave behind hate and rancour.
"So why?" He has always understood his wives when they left him crying in pain and horror for everything they had to endure with him. Andrés wasn't exactly a bad husband but there were moments... there were moments he would smile at them saying something hurtful to make them feel bad for not being the perfect woman he was expecting. Andrés is a bastard that doesn't deserve anything good from this world; that's why he has this sickness destroying him little by little till he won't be able to control even the simplest movement of his beloved body. This illness is a punishment from being the monster he is. He deserves pain and loneliness, not a caring brother.
"Why what?" Andrés is about to specify all the questions he has. Why is he here? Why is making him part of his life? Why is he trying to save him? Why does he trust him? Why would someone want to be with someone like him? But he can't. He's afraid to ask because then maybe his brother would understand why is not wise to be next to him. And Andrés being the twisted selfish person he is, remains in silence and gets lost in his brown eyes. He doesn't deserve a brother like him.
"You know." Because he has to know even if he doesn't want to see it. His brother is a good person. It's a mystery to him how two people like them can be related by blood.
"Do you really want an explanation?" He doesn't but he needs it. Andrés has never felt something like this. He has believed in love five times in his live but this is the first time he actually has fallen in love. He would do anything for his brother. Anything. No questions needed. This time he doesn't need to try to believe because he's feeling it.
"I need it." He says back, one of his hands shivering. Andrés guide it to his brother's face. There is something comforting in that simple touch that scares him but Andrés can't run away from him. Andrés needs this. His hand touches his cheek and it feels nice and relaxing. He's sick for feeling the way he does for his brother but he can't stop himself. Andrés clings to his brother and imagines he's a different person who deserves this. And for some seconds he forgets he's dying.
Of course he doesn't say anything else. His brother never knows what to say when they have moments like this. So he just smiles and Andrés notices his heart melting under such simple gesture and feels immortal. His brother has made him immortal. He will never die in his brother's memory. His hand runs through his face till his neck, his fingers still trembling slightly against his skin. Andrés would love to pull him closer just to feel his breathing against his lips. He knows this is sick but this is the only good thing that can redeem a life of crime, hate and disdain for the rest of the world. His brother is the only good thing he has in his life. Suddenly he can feel a change in his brother; his body is tense and his breathing faster. Andrés pay more attention to him and sees the way his pupils has grown and are shinning.
"I'm going to do something" He says nervously. "I think we both... want." Andrés hears him say and understands what he's about to do. He licks his lips and for one second he thinks about letting him doing it but he can't. His brother is innocent and doesn't deserve his toxicity in his life. Andrés knows the moment he has what he wants he will crave it forever. Andrés won't be able to forget his touch against his skin or the way his body shivers when he's kissing him. Andrés will want more and more till the end of his life and his brother doesn't deserve that kind of burden.
"You don't want to do this." With another person he would keep quiet and would abuse that person till he would be satisfied, but this time is different. Andrés doesn't want to hurt him, doesn't want to do anything bad to him.
"Why not?" He asks and seems confused. Maybe he thought he wouldn't complain because he was having exactly what he wanted but not this time, not with him.
"I am a bastard." It's a simple question but explains a lot.
"I don't care." But Andrés care. Loving someone is a strange feeling for him. Andrés has taken always what he desired without thinking about the consequences, but this time he can't just take it because it's not only desire what he feels. "I love you. And... and... and I know you love me." He puts his hand over Andrés'. "I know the kind of person you are and... I don't care."
"But I do." Love is complicated and absurd but Andrés wouldn't change what he feels for anything in the world, not even for his health. For the first time in a long time Andrés is being selfless, almost noble. He smiles and it's obvious his brother doesn't understand why.
"Don't deny this to us." Andrés' smile fades a little when he hears those words. He doesn't want to deny him anything. He doesn't want to make him suffer; he's doing this to save him from someone like him. "Please."
"Sergio..." He's manipulating him and Andrés is aware of that. His brother is not trying to be subtle with his words choice. Andrés should be stronger than this but he is not. His brother knows the kind of person he really is and accepts him and Andrés is not strong enough to fight against him anymore; no when his brother knows the exact words to manipulating him. Andrés closes his eyes and pulls him closer. His breath hits his lips and Andrés enjoys the moment one second before his brother makes the space between them disappear. "Sergio..." He mumbles against his mouth before his tongue run through his lips.
And this is the exact moment Andrés knows he starts living for real, kissing his brother. He moves his hands and one of them goes inside his hair. There is nothing he has ever wanted as much as this. His other hand runs till it finds his trousers. This is a good moment to ask if he is sure about this but Andrés is scared of his answer. So he keeps going, praying that his brother doesn't regret what it's happening between them. When he dies this will be his most precious memory because Sergio, his brother, will be the only person in his life that will be in his heart forever. Andrés memorizes his body, every kiss, every touch... Andrés memorize the way his chest goes up and down in every breath and the sound of his moans when he touches him because every time he has doubts about why he's doing the heist he will go to this night.
The end
If you liked it kudos and comments please, it's the writer's food :)
