Son
Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.
A/N-the prompt was-first day at school. I took it and ran with it.
"Star Wars pencil case." Jacob said to his small son.
"Check." Benji pressed down hard with his stubby pencil as he made a broad tick on the checklist of things he needed to remember to take with him to kindergarten. He held up the sheet of paper to show his father. "Is that right, daddy?"
"That's right." Jacob smiled as he ruffled Benji's hair affectionately. His little boy had an advanced reading age of an eight year old and he was immensely proud of him, hence Benji starting kindergarten early. "Do you have your Star Wars back pack?"
"Check." Benji made another broad tick.
"And your Darth Vader water bottle?"
"Check." Benji's tongue slipped out and he licked his lips as he concentrated.
"Do you have your storm trooper pens and pencils?"
"Check." Benji ticked the last item on the list.
"Well I guess you're all ready for tomorrow." Jacob saw the fear in his son's dark brown eyes. Benji was anxious. He might be advanced for his age, but interacting with his peers was another matter. "There's nothing to be afraid of, Benji. All the other kids will be feeling as nervous as you."
Benji shuffled his feet agitatedly. His stomach was full of butterflies. He wished he could be as brave his as his big daddy. "I dunno."
"It's true." Jacob bent down and scooped the little boy up into his arms. "I was anxious just like you when I first started."
Benji pouted, not believing that for one minute. Why would his big brave daddy be scared? "Big boys not scared." He muttered.
"I wasn't always this big." Jacob chuckled. He flipped his son around and lifted him onto his broad shoulders. "I was little once, believe it or not."
Benji didn't believe it.
"I'll show you." Jacob walked over to the cabinet and opened several drawers, searching. He found an old photograph album encased in leather and pulled it out. Blowing off the fine dust, he opened it, flipping through the pages until he came across what he was looking for. He smiled as he looked at his six year old self. He had the same anxious light in his eyes that Benji was wearing now. "See." He pulled out the photo and showed his son.
Benji took it from him. He pursed his lips as he studied the small boy in the photograph. It kinda looked like his big daddy a little bit. But Benji was having a hard time believing this was really his strong father.
"My mom took that on my first day." Jacob reminisced. "She used to love recording special moments in our lives. That picture was in a frame once, along with my sisters when they started school." He glanced around the empty walls and his smile died. There were no photographs on the wall now. Just a few of Benji scattered randomly around the house. He sighed, hanging his head. "I'm just trying to say it's okay to be scared, but honestly after you've faced it you'll wonder what you were so anxious about."
Benji was very intuitive. He could tell when his daddy was upset and feeling melancholy by the sad tone in his voice. He pretended to be brave to make his daddy happy again. "I'll be okay." He said with a confidence he didn't feel.
"Good boy." Jacob's smile was back, pleased that he had made Benji feel better.
Jacob was the only father in the playground as he dropped Benji off on his first day. He hunkered down in front of his son and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's gonna be okay."
Benji wasn't so sure. He tugged on the straps of his back pack as he glanced around at the other children. They seemed so much bigger than he did. More self assured. He was small anyway, but he tried to shrink himself smaller so he wouldn't be noticed. "I wanna go home, daddy." He whispered, finally giving up on being brave.
"Give it a try, Benji. You'll enjoy it I'm sure." Jacob patted his small shoulder and stood up again. "I'll be right here waiting to pick you up this afternoon" He smiled, but it was forced. "Don't worry, son. Remember you're special."
"I'm special." Benji echoed him. He didn't feel it. Not right now. The other children were beginning to line up to go inside. He gulped down his rising panic and followed his daddy obediently as Jacob coaxed him to join the tail end of the line. Some of the mothers were hugging their children with tears in their eyes. They seemed more distressed then their offspring. The doors were opened and the children began to stream inside. Benji trailed behind them, darting a last, anxious glance at his daddy before the doors were closed and he was sealed inside.
It was awful. Just awful. It hadn't taken long before the other children recognised he was different. They were already avoiding him. It was lunchtime. He sat on a bench all by himself, his uneaten lunch open in front of him. He gazed at the neatly made sandwiches miserably. His daddy had made sure to cut them into squares just the way he liked them. But even this wasn't enough to tempt him to eat. He couldn't stop thinking of what had happened in the classroom.
"Draw a picture of your family." The young enthusiastic teacher had directed them. The little school was her first placement and she was eager to impress.
Benji had to share a table with five other boys and girls. They had made friends already in the easy way that young children often did. Only Benji was isolated and alone. As he bent his head down and used his pencil to sketch a picture of his daddy, he noticed out of the corner of his eye that the boy next to him had shifted his chair away and kept looking at him uneasily. Benji could have cried.
The young teacher's shadow fell across him. "Who is this?" She asked with interest as she tapped the white sheet of paper in front of him.
"Daddy." Benji whispered. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. He had an audience now. Everyone was staring at him.
"Very good...um..." The teacher glanced down at his name badge. "Benji."
"Thank you." Benji shrank in his seat.
"Don't be nervous." His teacher continued, impressed. "It seems you have a gift for art. Will you be drawing your mommy, too?"
Benji's lower lip wobbled. "No." He shook his head.
"Why not?" The clueless woman ducked down beside him.
"I don't have a mommy." Benji whispered.
"Everyone has a mommy."
"I don't. Daddy says it's cos I'm special." Benji quoted Jacob verbatim.
Snickers greeted this statement. The young teacher was thrown by Benji's strange reply. She laughed nervously, fingering the fine silver chain around her neck. "Each and every one of us is special." She said eventually, not knowing what else to say. It was clear she was regretting broaching this subject with him. After this awkward little exchange she avoided interacting with him again.
"How was your first day?" Jacob asked brightly as they walked toward the car.
Benji hung his head and kicked at a loose stone on the ground with his shoe. "I don' like kindergarten. I don' like kids."
Jacob frowned. "What's wrong? Didn't you make any friends?"
"I'm not brave, daddy. I'm not special." Hot tears dribbled out of his eyes and slid down the apples of his cheeks.
"You are." Jacob stated adamantly as he lifted Benji up and placed him in the passenger seat of the car.
"They laughed." Benji whispered as he kept still while Jacob strapped him in.
"Who did? " Jacob paused, gazing at his son in concern.
"Everyone." Benji cried as he rubbed his tiny fists into his eyes.
"You have to ignore them, son." Jacob's voice was hard as he snapped the seatbelt into place.
"Daddy, why don't I have a mommy?" The question spilled out before Benji could stop it.
Jacob tensed, rising to his feet and hiding his expression from his small son. "I told you that you're special. Just leave it at that." He shut the car door, effectively putting an end to the difficult conversation.
Darkness settled on La Push like a dark shroud. Jacob sat on the porch swing gazing up at the canopy of luminous stars shining in the heavens. He was crying. Great wracking sobs burst forth from his chest and his heart throbbed, twisting in agony as he tried to suppress the memories, but they came anyway.
"Take care of him, Jake."
"Bells..."
"You must promise me." Her lips were bloodless. Her brown eyes wide and haunted in her ravaged face.
"I can't do this." Jacob shook his head, trying his best to ignore the faint cries coming from the fragile baby that clung to her breast.
"You can. Keep him safe. Please, you are the only one I trust." Bella drew in a ragged breath. "He's special."
"Bella..."
"Take him." With difficulty she raised the small infant in her trembling hands and passed him to Jacob, begging with her eyes for him to take her precious baby. "I promise I will come back. As soon as I'm better. I will come..."
Jacob pressed his hands into his eyes, groaning quietly as he sat forward in the swing, causing it to rock gently. She had promised him she would come, but it had been four long years with no word. He didn't know whether she was dead or alive and it was killing him.
A small pitter-patter of bare feet on the wood stole his attention. He sucked in a deep breath to compose himself as Benji crawled up on to the swing beside him. "I'll go back to kindergarten tomorrow, daddy." He promised in a small voice. "Please don' cry."
Jacob wrapped his small son in his arms protectively. Benji's promise had broken his heart. "You don't need to go back, son." He said huskily. "It's better when it's just the two of us anyway."
Benji smiled in relief as he clung to the only parent he had ever known. "I love you, daddy."
"I love you too, Benji." Jacob replied softly. "Always."
A/N-thanks for reading!