Disclaimer: The Walt Disney Company owns the rights to the series Kim Possible. The characters and places in this story are used without their consent and no compensation is exchanged between the author or said company. In other words, I wrote this for no other reason than to get it off my mind. (See additional disclaimer at end of story.)
A/N: This takes place one fall evening, post StD and pre season four.
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SPOTOTA
Kim Possible snatched up the receiver of her cordless phone and flopped onto her bed. She hit number one on speed dial and listened to it ring four times before her closest dearest friend, now one and only boyfriend, picked up. "Hey Ron, what cha wanna do tonight? Let's do something beside the usual..."
Kim was suddenly cut off when she heard his answering machine. "Hola! You have reached the bon-diggity answering machine of Ron Stoppable. I guess that means I'm not in right now so you better leave a message if you wanna talk to me or Rufus. KP if it's you, you know the drill. Wait for the beep!"
Kim punched in a three digit code to see if her steady companion had left a special message for her. After a few seconds Ron's voice came over the receiver. "Hey KP. I forgot to tell you about this thing I joined. It's my first meeting and we get together on Fridays and it's not like it's our special night or anything soooo... Anyway, don't wait up for me to call and say Good Night, I'm told these meetings run into the wee hours of the morning. I'll talk to you tomorrow. G'Night, or Good Afternoon or Morning or Evening... depending on when you get this message... if you get it that is. You think I oughta record this again Rufus? No? Anyway... Bye!"
Kim glared daggers at the receiver and sternly said, "Yes it is! Friday is my special Ron Night! It has been since forever!" She threw the phone across the room where it landed in a pile of dirty clothes in her closet. "Rats!"
"Kimmie-cub," the voice of her Father came up through the trap door, "are you ready to go out and meet up with Ronald?"
"No Dad," Kim huffed loudly and pouted. "I'm staying home so I can get my homework done early."
Mr. Dr. Possible poked his head through the entry to her room. "But I thought Friday night was your special Ron Night?"
"Not officially," Kim said as she crossed her arms. "Ron joined a club or something and it meets on Friday's."
"Oh well, you'll see him tomorrow and this way you won't have to worry about your schoolwork for the rest of the weekend. Your Mother and I are going out and the boys will be sleeping over at their friends house so you'll have the whole house to yourself." He started back down the stairs. "We'll be home late so don't fret about us and wait up."
"Night Daddy," Kim sighed sweetly, but with a twinge of tweak to it.
The redhead sat down at her desk and pulled out her trigonometry homework. She wrote down the first problem and started working on it, then erased a few numbers. She jotted down a few more digits and looked at the equation with a puzzled glare. "What the...?" she muttered, crumpled up the paper and tossed it into the waste basket.
Kim got out a fresh piece of paper and stared at it. "What kind of thing would Ron join?" she pondered. "It could be something like the time he bailed to practice video games with Felix for that Zombie Mayhem thing." She nodded happily. "Yeah, that's probably it. It's some kind of gamers club." Kim plowed through her schoolwork but ended up with a waste basket full of crumpled up mistakes.
Kim leaned back in her chair and chewed on the pencil eraser for a minute before she got her Kimmunicator out and thumbed it on. Wade Load's smiling face appeared on the screen. "Hey Kim."
"Wade, do you still have Ron chipped?" Kim started to ask before she was cut off. Again!
"I've taken your advice and left my room," the video message started. "If you need anything you're outta luck cause I'll probably be out late. You can yell at me tomorrow morning. Have a good Friday night. Bye."
"Now that's totally bizarre!" Kim said in wonderment. "Maybe Felix knows where Ron is." She dug the phone receiver out of the dirty launder and made a sour face. "If I can't find Ron I can at least get some laundry done."
When Kim dialed Felix's phone number she got his answering machine. She dialed Tara and got another answering machine. Out of desperation Kim dialed Bonnie's number. Machine.
Kim sat at her desk and stared at the pile of homework she had finished. "I should review my work, but I'll never be able to concentrate until I find out where everyone is." She pushed away from the desk, put her sneakers on and went downstairs. Kim walked out the front door and paused. "But where should I look? Bonnie and Tara are probably shopping at the mall and Ron and Felix might be at the arcade there. I can also check in with Monique and see if any of them stopped in at Club Banana."
Kim hopped on her bicycle and pedaled to the Middleton Mall. She wandered around the massive building dedicated to consumer consumption for over an hour but didn't see any familiar faces. Even Monique wasn't at Club Banana. It was her usual night to work but they said she had traded days off. The mall wasn't exactly packed to the rafters with shoppers but Kim was sure she didn't see any of her friends or rivals. The theater had let out so she knew nobody was hiding in there.
"Has everyone disappeared?" she wondered aloud as she got on her bike and pedaled away. Kim cruised slowly through Middleton Park and didn't see anyone. She pedaled downtown and by that time the streets were practically void of all but a few couples wandering the streets arm-in-arm. Still no sign of friend or foe. Kim turned her bicycle around and headed for home.
Deep in thought, Kim climbed the steps to her room, dressed down to sweat pants and tee shirt and laid atop her bed sheets. She stared at the ceiling until almost three thirty when she heard a car with the squeaky brakes her Father always said he was going to fix pull into the driveway.
Kim looked out her window and saw Ron getting out of the car with her parents. They all shook hands and made some crazy hand and leg gestures that ended up in double devil's horns on their heads. They laughed until Ron glanced up and saw his girlfriend in the window. He said something to Mr. and Mrs. Dr. Possible and they all looked up at Kim and laughed again.
Kim raced down the stairs and out the front door. "Hey guys, I see you all got home okay. Where have you been?" she asked sunnily but with a slight miffed sting to her voice.
"Out," both of her parents chimed together happily.
"I told you I joined a new club," Ron said joyfully. "It's a secret Society."
"Ron!" both Doctors Possible yelled at him.
"Don't give anything away!" Mrs. Dr. Possible stated firmly. "That's what secret means, remember?"
"Oops!" Ron uttered as he slapped his forehead, "my bad! Sorry, I forgot."
"I'm sorry Dear," Mrs. Dr. P said to her daughter. "It's not that we don't trust you, it's only that you wouldn't understand the motivations behind the Society."
"You're members too?" Kim begged with an astonished look. She crossed her arms, smirked and defiantly dared, "Try me!"
"Kimmie-cub," her Father chided her firmly but with a playful smile, "I think you Mother and I know you well enough to understand you'd think what we did there was... silly."
"Yeah KP," Ron gleefully grinned. "You know me. I'm all about silly."
Kim seized Ron's arm and headed for the tree house. "Mom, Dad, if you'd excuse us I'd like to speak to my boyfriend about this in private."
"Okay Dear," Mrs. Dr. P chimed, "but Ron, remember what I told you to do if..."
"Thanks Mrs. Dr. P," Ron sang as he was dragged backward away from the adults, "I'll see you in the morning." He noticed Kim's stern countenance. "I HOPE!" he yelled. When they were ten feet from the majestic oak Ron begged, "Can we do this in the morning KP? I'm kinda bushed."
"It is morning Ron," Kim said as she gently pushed him against the tree. "Get up there now," she uttered in a firm but hushed tone as she pointed up the wooden boards nailed to the tree.
Ron crossed his arms in disobedience. "No KP. Not if you're going to go all tweakish over a simple thing like this."
"You're right Ron," Kim conceded as she hung her head and stepped up to him. He flinched as her arms swiftly shot around his neck. "I'm sorry. It's just that I was worried about you for over seven hours... not knowing where you were or who you were with. I guess I freaked just now." Kim brought her lips up to his. "Forgive me... Please!" She gave Ron a long lingering kiss that almost curled his toes.
Ron sighed and grinned his goofy grin with his eyes shut as their lips parted. "Of course KP. You know I'd never get upset at you over somethin like this." Kim got on her tip toes again and leaned in for another buss. Ron held her inches from another lip lock and smiled brightly. "I could go on like this all night cept..."
"Except what?"
"Cept I won't tell you any more than I'm Ron Stoppable, Spotota membership number 3-3-9-0-8."
"Spot-o-ta?" Kim queried. Ron looked around in a panic. He quickly climbed the wooden boards to gain entrance to their special playhouse and escape the questioning redhead. It was NOT the smartest thing to do. Kim followed.
"It's an acronym," Ron said as he sat on the couch with a surprised smile. "Hey, I used a school word!"
"Very good Ron," Kim cooed as she curled into his lap and kissed him on the lips again. ""What's it an acronym for?"
Ron gave Kim a peck on the cheek and amped up his smile. "Ron Stoppable, number 33908."
"Yes Ron, that's what you said before."
"Sorry KP," Ron shrugged, "they told me if I'm captured and/or tortured, all I should give is my name and membership number."
"That's silly Ron," Kim said earnestly.
"Yep!" Ron beamed. "That's what it's all about. Being silly."
"I can be silly," Kim said seriously. Ron peered at her like she had just sprouted a tail in the middle of her forehead. "I can," she almost begged, "can't I?"
"KP," Ron laughingly chided her, "you can be a little awkweird at times... but silly, inane, vapid, incorrigible even buffoonish? Not you."
"But Mom and Dad aren't like that. Well, Mom isn't," Kim qualified her statement.
"She does alright," Ron said defensively.
"Does what?" Kim slyly asked.
"She..." Ron started before it hit him. He grinned and shook his head. "Ron Stoppable, number 33908."
Kim nestled further into his lap. "Rats!" Suddenly she sat up straight and demurely put on her secret weapon, the dreaded Puppy Dog Pout. "Ron Sweetie, could you Pleeease tell me about your secret Society?"
Ron panicked a little. "Ron Stop, Stop, Stop, STOP IT!!!!" He closed his eyes and slapped a hand over them to boot. His fingers slowly separated and eyes opened. A wicked smile flitted onto his lips and broadened into an all out, full blow goofy grin. "Ron Stoppable number 33908," he lilted with confidence.
"What?" Kim was totally taken aback. "The PDP didn't work? How?"
Ron let out a light chuckle as he said, "Your Dad told me his way of defeating it. He discovered if he stared directly at your Mom's nose when she sprung it on him, he wasn't affected. The nose don't do nothin special. The Pout is all in the eyes and lower lip."
"Why would my Dad tell you how to defeat the Puppy Dog Pout?"
Ron shrugged. "He didn't want me to divulge anything about... you know."
"But Daddy always caves in to Mom's PDP," Kim pondered aloud.
"Only when he wants to and she only uses it when she knows he'll give in." Ron's goofy grin amped up another ten watts. "Now you know I'll never cave and divulge the secret."
"What secret?"
"Ron Stoppable, number..."
Kim slapped Ron's arm. "Stop saying that. You're not captured."
"Okay KP," Ron yawned. "What else do you want to talk about. I'm wiped out and want to get some sleep."
Kim thought for a split second. "Who else is in your little club? I looked for everyone tonight and couldn't find you or Felix, or Tara or Bonnie. Wade wasn't in his room either!"
"Realllllly!" Ron laughed with fake surprise.
"So they're all members?"
"Ron Stoppable, yada yada, arf arf."
Kim frowned at Ron. "Bonnie and Wade don't seem to be very silly."
"Oh Bonnie can be really silly at times. She and I talked most of..." Ron slapped his forehead in shame. "Shoot!"
"So Bonnie is a member and you two talked all night?!? You hung out with Bonnie instead of me!!?!!" Kim was definitely tweaked, bordering on angry.
"I think I should go home now KP," Ron said weakly. "I really wanna go home and get some sleep."
"Nobody's going anywhere until we finish our conversation." Kim crossed her arms and smirked evilly. "If the Puppy Dog Pout doesn't work anymore, I'll just have to resort to drastic measures." She straddled Ron's legs facing him and wrapped her ankles around his. Kim leaned in and started kissing and nipping Ron on the neck and earlobes."
Ron's eyes fluttered shut and he sighed. "Kissing won't work KP, but I like it."
"I know," Kim cooed between nibbles on the nape of his neck, "but this might."
Kim's hands dropped slowly from his shoulders to his sides. She started tickling him. Ron went into fits of laughter as she continued her assault and said, "What's the Society all about Ron? Tell me! I can keep this up til doomsday!"
"Alright, alright!" Ron hollered through a long peel of guffaws. "I give. Uncle! Uncle!"
Kim's hands ceased their attack and rested on his shoulders again. "Okay, spill."
"It's called, the Society for Putting... mumble, mumble, mumble."
"What was that Ron? Speak up," Kim said firmly as her hands headed south again down his chest.
Ron grabbed her wrists. "Okay," he said gasping for breath. "It's official title is the Society for Putting One Thing On Top of Another."
It was Kim's turn to stare at Ron like he didn't have eyes, nose or mouth on his face. "The Society... for Putting One Thing?"
Ron nodded and beamed. "On Top of Another."
"Ron, that's..." Kim pondered as she swung her legs around so she could nestle into his lap.
"Silly?" Ron pleaded. "How about Python-esque?"
"Wha???" Kim puzzled.
"At least that's what Bon Bon called it," Ron giggled. "It's from a Monty Python sketch."
"Monty Python?" Kim wondered for a few seconds before she recognized the name. "Oh yeah. That British comedy troop from the Sixties and Seventies. We watched some of their stuff on TV Trash Heap one weekend. They did skits on the Fish Slapping Dance and Spam."
"Yep, that's them!" Ron hitched his arms up and started swinging them from side to side as he sang, "Spam, spam, spam, spam... Spam, spam, spam, spam."
Kim quickly pinched his lips shut. "God No! Now I'll have that song in my head all weekend!"
"Catchy ain't it?" Ron posed through tightly sealed lips.
"Ron, that's..." Kim started but just shook her head instead. "Anyway, your club is dedicated to putting one thing on top of another?" She released her grip on her favorite part of Ron's anatomy and nestled back into his arms.
"Yep!" Ron snuggled his arms around his girlfriend and smiled wickedly, "but it can't be somethin you would normally do. Do you remember last week when Bonnie picked up the book you dropped and put it on your head?"
"Yes," Kim answered and frowned. "I had my arms full and thought she was just being mean to me, her usual self."
"Nope," Ron tittered in embarrassment, "that was her monthly putting."
"Her monthly, putting?" Kim questioned. "That's bad grammar."
Ron giggled, "Silly ain't it?"
"Oooooh," Kim said in recognition of the sitch. "So you have to put something on top of another once a month. Then what?"
""Then you write up a report and turn it in to the secretary the week before a meeting. We meet once a month and the best and worst are read to the Society. We vote on them and the person who gets the most votes gets to preside over the next meeting."
Kim sat up and looked around the room. She grabbed the folded blanket at the end of the couch and unfurled it. She giggled as she wrapped it around Ron, letting it drape over his head and face.
Ron frowned and shook his head. "Sorry KP, but a blanket is suppose to go over the body. Nice try though."
Kim got up and pushed Ron flat onto the sofa. She laid down on him and kissed his lips. "How about this? Do you think I belong on top of you?"
Ron's goofy grin exploded across his face. "If you're askin me, I'd say it's as natural as Nacos and cheese. I like it a lot!"
Kim scrunched up her nose in disgust. "I didn't want to mention it earlier but you smell smoky and taste funny."
Ron held the sleeve of his red hockey jersey to his nose and sniffed. "Ewww, sorry Kim, it's from the initiation ceremony. I had to smoke a cigar and drink a fifth of Brandy."
"Ron, that's not silly," Kim chided her boyfriend and slapped him on the chest, "that's simply stupid."
"I know," Ron nodded, "but it's from the original Python sketch. They were all smokin cigars and drinkin Brandy."
"But you don't sound drunk at all," Kim marveled. "If you drank a whole fifth of Brandy you'd pass out cold."
"Normally yes," Ron grinned, "but you're forgetting about my MMP. I think it metabolizes the alcohol for some strange reason."
"So you can drink anything and not get drunk?"
"I guess," Ron shrugged. "After I downed my third glass Wade got worried and scanned me. He said the alcohol was turning to sugar as soon as it hit my stomach. I'd get a bit of a sugar rush but that's all. The cigar on the other hand... Well, let's just say I was on a Chinese train; The up-chuck express." It suddenly hit Ron and he added in a panic, "You can't repeat anything I told you. Not even to Monique."
"Wait! Wade was there, and why not Monique?" Kim asked before she realized what he was saying. "Monique and Wade are members?"
"Monique sponsored Wade and me into the Society," Ron confirmed. "She was a member in the last city she lived in and the Society just got it's charter for Middleton a coupla months ago. She thought I'd be perfect and she wanted to meet Wade. I think she's crushing on him."
"But she's older than he is!"
"Only by four or five years KP" Ron shrugged.
"So, how many members are in your chapter?" Kim queried.
"There were about twenty people at the meeting," Ron said in deep thought. "I was told the first digit in my membership number represents all the states west of the Mississippi River. The second is for the State of Colorado so there's at least nine hundred other members in the state. I got a glance at the state roster and you'd be surprised who's on it."
"Tell me," Kim smirked as she snuggled into his embrace and lovingly patted his chest.
"I would but then I'd have ta capture and tickle you," Ron said slyly, his hands creeping northward from her hips.
Kim swiftly stood up, grabbed both of Ron's wrists and held them out to the side. "No you don't!" she warned as she leaned in and again sat astraddle on his legs. Kim pushed her body in to his and they sank back into the sofa. They kissed in that position for a minute before Kim released her grip on his wrists and her hands returned to his shoulders. Ron wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tight. They continued their subdued game of tonsil hockey for a few minutes before Kim curled back into a side saddle cuddle in Ron's embrace.
The two teens fell asleep in that position, just enjoying each other's closeness.
Two hours later Ron's watch alarm beeps. He shut it off quickly and nudged Kim before he spoke softly. "KP, we're gonna be late meeting the Monkey Ninjas for our weekly sparring session."
"Would that be so bad?" Kim cooed sleepily.
"It would be if they come lookin for me." Ron yawned and stretched a little. "I don't think the tree house can hold the weight of us and a dozen of the furry little guys."
Kim stirred slightly only to end up nuzzling deeper into Ron's arms. "Let em come and we'll block all the doors and windows," Kim contently sighed. "That can be my initiation putting. Twelve Monkey Ninjas on top of a kid's tree house in suburban Middleton."
Ron kissed the top of Kim's head. "I'd vote for that," he giggled lightly and fell back asleep.
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A/N: I also don't own the right to anything Monty Python. This was a little thing I drempt up over a year ago and pull out every once in a while when I'm feeling silly. If there is such a society I would love to join. Hope you enjoyed this little ditty. Review if you like. Live Large, pbow.