In Love With a Hatter
Part One
Alice Kingsleigh was bored – bored as she always had been since she climbed back out of the rabbit hole. She also incredibly regretted leaving Underland and returning to her "life". Paranoid that she would forget her adventures, she'd been on consent alert and picturing her friends for hours on end, until a co worker would snap her out of her daze, followed by the muttered "Sorry" by her and continuing work. Thankfully despite her efforts, she remembered all her friends and the world she belonged in. Alice re-visited them in her dreams and they appeared, smiling and calling her to come back. She would argue and cry back at them, explaining that she was on her way. She remembered everyone and everything in perfect detail, so stunning that she amazed herself. But as well as remembering came the emotion of loss. She sourly missed her friends who felt almost like family to her.
She could recall and then remember everyone: The White Queen, McTwisp, Mally, the Tweedles, Bayard and all the rest. But that combined couldn't make up for her longing to see the Mad Hatter again. Never before had she experienced such friendship and felt a sense of protection so strong. He always stood by her and made her laugh. But Alice now never laughed. As she sat, she thought that if there was no Hatter, then there was no happiness. He wasn't here – she'd left him and felt so guilty. She felt terribly lonely without her mad friend and she narrowly sidestepped madness herself. Alice felt so separated between the world she'd been born into and the world she adored. She felt like an outsider in the 'Otherland. She hadn't felt this empty since her father died. If she sat and thought too much, it started to hurt when she imaged the Hatter's warm and friendly smile, his eyes glinting emerald green and his reddish hair.
Gazing across the ocean and watching the waves roll and crash about each other, Alice was thrilled to be going back home to England. She'd spent the past three years in China and raising her father's trading company. She smiled out of the window and across the rough sea. He would be so proud of her for putting his ideas forward and helping Lord Ascot. He had understood and accepted his former colleague's daughter and praised her good work. Business was booming. Just last evening at dinner, he'd hinted at Alice to buy the company back off him. She'd shaken her head "Surely, there's an idea" she muttered. She'd had to stop herself adding 'What a crazy, mad, wonderful idea!' Instead she declined his offer and informed him that her sister Margaret would be taking Alice's position. She'd been all too willing as she had come home one day to find Lowell with Hattie.
A tear ran down Alice's soft and warm cheek as she sat cross legged on her bed in her cabin aboard her ship. She was tired of being the subject of loss. She may be able to probably go find the rabbit hole but she was terrified it would have disappeared. She prayed not. Alone as she was, she hated it. She missed having her weird and wonderful friends around her. The Chinese had loved her, by the way she was quick thinking and witty but they sensed her unhappiness. She hadn't been asked what was troubling her and she wouldn't have answered if asked anyway.
She got up and walked to the mirror, ignoring the stabs of pins and needles in her feet. Her appearance had changed a bit since she left England. Her hair was longer and even more golden if possible. She seemed more female than before and her twinkling blue eyes gave her the awe of a very beautiful young lady. But being herself, selfless and modest, Alice ignored compliments she got and focussed on her work and the work to be done. It kept her healthy and whole. Being free of the horrible corsets and stockings she had been forced to wear, Alice had found China welcoming, not like England where she had to be strained to impress others.
Thinking of long dresses and hats, her mind went back to her beloved friend. Alice sighed and her eyes released more tears, racing down her face and dripping like a leak onto the open book she was still holding out in front of her. She thought back to when she had been in Wonderland when the Hatter had been trapped as a prisoner in the Red Queen's castle and was her 'hat man'. She remembered the fun they had as they fooled about with hats. She chuckled softly, her noise only limited to the cosy cabin. Keeping the memory in her head, she walked over to her light and switched it off. Climbing into bed and not forgetting her image, she closed her eyes and she dreamt of the Hatter, missing his warm and tight embrace around her, protecting her.