falling

The ranger closed his eyes listening, just in case. As always. He'd become so accustomed to uneasy sleep that he doubted he'd ever be able to sleep peacefully ever again, even with his beloved Arwen in Rivendell, even as the king of Gondor.
He trusted Boromir to keep watch for the next few hours, despite the few harsh words they had shared moments before and so with a final sigh he let his mind drift from the dangerous and seemingly hopeless road ahead of them, drifting into a firmly unsettled sleep. Completely unaware of the events taking place above him, the events that were about to change the course of everything that had been destined to happen since the beginning of time.

Middle Earth. She remembered the days when Middle Earth had been an entrancing place to sail over. Back when it was pure, untainted by evil and power. The Valar had crafted and cared for the earth flawlessly.
Though it hadn't lasted long they had been the happiest days of her existence. The soil, the water, the air; perfect.
Ever since her awakening at the Noontide of the Blessed she had existed in wonder.
She had been there for the arrival of the elves, strange creatures but despite being tiny specks they were exactly right for Middle Earth. They cared for it as best they could, they loved it as she had done all them years before.
But the earth had not been pure for so long, not since the days before Morgroth, since hate and power and jealousy had befouled the beloved land she had come to know. She had known there would be others after Morgroths demise, after his defeat.

She had been right. Morgroths' puppet Sauron the deceiver had soon tempted and bribed his way into the hearts of Middle Earths inhabitants, corrupting. The others had seen it coming too of course, they miss nothing. We miss nothing.
Not our business, not our place, not our problem.

But it was to be their problem. The air about Mordor was tainted, it was dirty. It was wrong. And soon enough if these tiny little specks bellow them failed, the whole of Middle Earth and beyond would be filled with foul fumes and ash and fire and dust. What would they do then?

Fade, no doubt...

Already this little group had lost the Istari, Mithrandir. Nine had entered the mines the dwarfs had created all them years ago, but only eight had emerged. The fellowship seemed doomed to her, to fail.

And soon all she had grown to love would be lost from her forever.

moving, wind, soaring, flying...downwards. not flying. falling.

falling, falling, falling.
this didn't feel bad, people shouldn't fear falling.
falling feels nice, falling felt like flying.
only falling did not feel like flying.
the more falling she did, the less she liked falling.
She wanted the falling to stop. The ground was getting closer to her.

Too close. She hadn't ever wanted to fall. Falling was bad. Falling made her feel as she had never felt before. Dim.

She wanted to fly, she wanted to soar. She wanted to shine for as long ad she could until she could shine no longer.

Falling was not her only problem. Shining was. She had been shining since the beginning of forever. She had been one of the last to shine, one of the youngest, therefore one of the brightest left.

But she wasn't the brightest any more. She wasn't even bright any more.

She was fading.

She was falling.

She was lost.

The young girl lay very still in complete silence in the large crater that engulfed her. Though all animals that had been any where near the area before the girl had fallen had left as quickly as their wings and legs could carry them, they were slowly started to return. Warily curious in spite of themselves.
The animals had never seen any thing quite like this before. And they had experienced many oddities. They wondered between themselves what course of action to take.
As they sat conferring, heads tilted the girl suddenly opened her eyes.

She hadn't been sleeping, as the animals had suspected. She had been trying very hard to shine.
She felt odd on the cold muddy ground. She felt as thought she couldn't remember anything at all but at the same time, everything. She remembered Falling.
After all, falling isn't something a star easily forgets. Stars weren't made to fall. She had felt something she hadn't before, something that had shaken her so badly the thought of it made her shudder where she lay.
She stopped, barely before she had started. Shuddering she had thought in wonder to herself. Stars don't shudder.

You're not a star any more, part of her reminded sadly.
Her face crumpled. Of course she was a star. Nothing could ever take that away from her. being a star was all she knew how to be. She was very good at being a star or so she thought.
She shone brighter than any other in the sky.
or use too...
No. No, she was most definitely still a star. What else could she possibly be?
Look down genius.
The star gawped down at herself.
Because a star was not what she saw.
She saw a girls body. She saw a girls legs. She saw a girls toes, feet, fingers.
She lifted her new fingers slowly, unsure, to her face.
She felt eyes. She felt a nose. A mouth. Ears.
The girl pulled herself from the ground to look better at her new body. Her human body. She wondered how she'd managed to move fingers, to blink eyes, to do anything.
Not A Star.

The animals remained watching the girl puzzled still. The girl was a strange sight indeed. Not the least because she was wearing no clothing. Nor because she was more beautiful than the elves and all the women and men that the animals had ever seen combined.
The girl was glowing. A faint golden pulse lingered around her body. The glow would no doubt be unnoticed by the useless eyes of men, but the animals could see it with their sharp gaze.

The star noticed too. Stars missed very little. And despite the nagging subconscious that remained in the back of her mind, she knew. She shone still.
As long as she shone there was hope. She didn't know how to be a human, to be a girl. She was a star. She lifted her head slowly to look up into the sky. It was dawn and her home was barely visible in the dim sunlight.
I'll be back, she smiled slightly at the sky above her hopefully.

i don't own LOTR or anything related to it. Nor do i own stars.

wow. so really i own none of the above. damn!

inspiration for this story? Florence and the Machine; Falling.

LOTR and FLO, my two favorite things in all the world.

hopefully it'll be better, once i've added the next chapter, sometimes things just come to me and i write them down, this was one of them, if it gets totally bad, i'll bin it! but if any of you are interested reviews are appreciated :)))

p.s. if you've read my stories before you'll probably know the first chapter never makes sense! which means you have to keep on reading; darn it! also my spelling is pretty bad often. so sorry about that!