REMUS
21/06/96
I stare up at the moon through an old dusty window in the attick of Grimmauld place as it is the only place I feel comfortable to tansform into Moony. This is the only place as it't the closest thing I have to any of my friends that is suitible to harber a werewolf even if I'm tame now with the potion Severus gives to me. Hundereds of times Tonks has told me that I could go stay at hers in her spare room with her mother as they know how hard the past couple of days have been after Sirius's death but I keep telling her it's not the same I need to be in a place that means something to my friends that have memories behind them. Even Severus decided to add an option of where I could do my transformation, sure it was a snide comment but it was still a suggestion. He suggested that I go to the Shack but alas that shack has seen better days and is no longer fit to hold a fully grown wolf like Moony.
So here I sit in the old abandond house that was cleared out two days ago the day after Sirius died. There was no point in staying anymore but I could not leave no matter what that horrible Kreacher or the portrait of Sirius's mother had to say about my stay here I just could not leave the one thing I had left of Sirius.
I have never been more lonley than I am now, Not even in the years after James died and I had no idea Sirius was innocent or that Peter was alive. Now I know the truth and it's so heartbreaking that sometimes I can't stand it.
"Why did you leave me here Padfoot" I say to the star Sirius was named after both by his parents and us as we chose nicknames on a drunken night during the christmas hollidays in hogwarts. The days before the war and before we had all this responsibility thrown onto our young shoulders.
In answer to my question a small breeze pushes open the unused window sending shivers down my spine, I smile as the cool breeze brushes over my scarred and beaten down face. I close my eyes trying hard to fight the tears that have been threatning to fall ever since I saw Sirius fall through that veil. I tried to save him I really did but there was not enough time to reach him before he went through, I only had enough time to grab Harry before he could try and go after him.
The breeze picks up so I open my eyes letting the cold air hit them like a smack in the face and it's enough to make several tears fall, It makes me laugh as I think of a distant memory of painful mornings after a full moon when I would wake up to my friends standing over me fretting about the pain.
"Moony are you sure you are okay"
"I'm fine" I say through gritted teeth, trying to stop the painful tears from falling
"You know moony sometimes it's okay to cry"
This may be Sirius telling me that this is one of the moments that it's okay to cry to show some emotion that I normally keep bottled up deep inside hoping it will never open up, but right now it's okay because I am in mourning and I deserve the right to cry without being seen as weak.
It's that thought that causes sobs to burst from my chest and tears to river down my cheeks. The wind picks up again and circles around my body in a cold cucoon as I curl up and really begin to sob not caring because I knew no one could hear me or my cries.
"Why can't everything start again why can't I just have a second chance to make things right" I sob into my knee's whilst I grip my hair tightly.
Through my cries I hear whispers but I blame it on the various thing's hidden in this house mocking me.
By moon and starts we hear your cries oh desprerate one
by connecting our powers on the night of this full moon
Padfoot and prongs listened to our song
One wish we have given all
but only those who deserve will be given
Dear moony your wish has been given.
My head snaps up from my lap once the whispers stop, I look around to see if I can see anything that could've made that noise but the only thing I see is the wind closing the window and if I look close enough the moon and the star Sirius was named for are glowing a sort of pink colour.
Pushing the thought aside deciding to read up on it tomorrow I lay down on the dust floor to get some sleep before the transformation starts hoping it will be strong enough to kill me as it would be doing me a favour right now.
As I slowly loose conciousness I see the pink light of the moon get pinker and brighter until I can see nothing but the pink light... Then everything goes black and I feel myself fall asleep.
A/N Okay this is my first Fanfic on the Marauders and on this account I really hope you will like it :)