My first fanfic. I do not own Star Fox.
"How the hell did this happen?" Fox asked as he leaned into the computer screen of Sippy's laptop. Slippy clapped his hand merrily.
"Well, I was checking my email about the spare parts I had ordered for ROB, and the next thing I know, this pop-up pops out of now where," Slippy said. Fox rolled his eyes.
"That's what pop-ups do, you dumbass." Slippy ignored him.
"I signed up for that free cruise to any planet I choose, and today when I checked it, I received a message saying 'You won!' Isn't that exciting?" Slippy grinned triumphantly. Fox stared at Slippy, impressed that a person like him could win something a lot of people entered for.
"So what planet did you choose?" Fox said curiously.
"Dinosaur Planet." Slippy replied.
"NO!" Fox cried as he shoved the computer across the counter and stomped into the den to watch some TV. "Fuck that! You can go by yourself!"
"But Krystal will be there." Slippy said, putting a lot of emphasis on the word 'Krystal'.
"Fuck Krystal," Fox called from the den. "And her bizarre language." He added.
"Well, we all know you want to."
A furry finger stuck out from above the couch, Slippy sighed.
"But we haven't seen her in a long time, and maybe everyone else would like to see the wonder that is Dinosaur Planet." Slippy's eyes grew large as he began to plea.
"Pleeeeaaaassssee Fox. I've never been."
"You can go by yourself, Slip. I'm never going there again."
"Fine! I don't care anymore! You can rot here by yourself." Slippy shouted; anger and rage building up as he spoke. The entrance to the Great Fox opened to reveal Katt Monroe and Falco Lombardi. Falco was in his usual grey jacket and blue suit, while Katt walked in with a furry pink jacket that had no sleeves and a black miniskirt.
"Heya!" Katt greeted. Falco tossed his leather jacket on the couch next to Fox, whose face turned to disgust when it landed.
"Hey Katt, Falco! Where were ya'll?" Slippy asked, as though his conversation with Fox never happened.
"Stuck in Painless Shoe store," Falco grumbled. Katt scoffed at his remark and took a seat next to him on the sofa.
"Payless Shoe store, Slippy. I had to get my shoes." Katt said, holding up a pair of furry boots with a skimpy heel. Falco knocked it out of her hand.
"Grab me a beer, will ya Katt?" Fox grabbed her skirt. "Me too." Katt wandered into the kitchen, going through all the contents of the fridge. She spotted Slippy working diligently out of the corner of her eye.
"Whatchya doing Slip?" she asked tenderly. Slippy smiled and replied a, "Oh nothing. Just planning our cruise."
"A cruise?!"
"Yep, it's totally free!"
"Sounds exciting! Where we going?"
"Dinosaur planet."
"I wanna come!" Katt pouted.
"Sure." Slippy smirked.
"And if I go, you know Falco's gotta come."
"I don't mind. I'm bringing ROB and Peppy. They could really use a vacation."
"Well, what about Fox?"
"He's being a stubborn donkey right now, so he's gonna stay here and rot."
Katt snickered lightly. "What time are we leaving?"
"This afternoon at 4." Slippy replied. He checked the email again to make sure.
"Alright. I'll go tell Falco." And with that she slipped away and tackled Falco.
"What the hell?" Falco squawked and shoved Katt onto the floor.
"Cruise. Today at 4. Me, you, Slippy, Peppy, and ROB are going to Dinosaur Planet."
"Have fun." Fox grumbled.
"You know you wanna come, Fox." Katt teased. She handed a beer to Falco and held the other in her furry pink paw. "If you come, I'll give you this beer."
Fox growled. "No can do. That planet is worst than hell."
"But what about that blue chick? What's her face?" Katt said as she snapped her fingers, trying to remember.
"Krystal?" Falco blurted.
"Yeah! She'll be there."
Fox got up from the couch lazily. He headed upstairs. Falco shook his head. "So you gonna leave me here by myself to deal with Slippy, Peppy, ROB, and Katt?"
"Yep." Fox said bluntly.
"Fuck you Fox."
"Uh-huh. Maybe later."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Everyone packed?" Slippy asked as he scanned the area.
"Hold on. Lemme get this last suitcase full." Katt mumbled. She stuffed her new boots in the suitcase then slammed her ass on it, but it wouldn't close.
"Goddammit!" She cursed loudly then turned to Falco. "Falco, be a dear and close this for me."
"You have like 5 fucking suitcases Katt! I hope you don't expect me to carry all that shit." Falco snarled. Using his avian strength, he closed the suitcase with ease. Slippy was proud to have most of the Star Fox team come, except for that stubborn jackass of a leader they had. ROB eased around the abundant bags of junk. "It is now 2:30," he shrieked. Everyone put their hands to their ears until ROB returned to normal.
"What the fuck is wrong with ROB?" Falco asked, his head still ringing from ROB's shriek.
"I don't know!" Slippy panicked. "ROB, check for any malfunctions."
"PROCESSING!" ROB shrieked again. Falco kicked ROB in his metallic ass and ROB's voice returned to its original, emotionless, monotone voice.
"See? All he needed was a tune up." Falco smirked. ROB turned to Falco.
"Glad you know I like it in the ass Falco." ROB said bleakly.
"Whatever…" Falco replied while putting his shades on.
"Alright lets head out!" Slippy beamed. Katt grabbed two suitcases, leaving Falco the other three plus his own bag.
"Bye Fox! Have fun rotting here all by yourself." Katt called. No response. Peppy finally noticed they were leaving Fox. "Fox, bring your ass on! You know you're gonna regret it sooner or later." Still, no response. "Well, since you are staying here. There's a list of things to do on the refrigerator. I want them accomplished by time I get home or else!" Peppy threatened.
"Fuck that." Fox whispered while in the comfort of his room.
The Great Fox had become eerily quiet. Fox sat up on his bed, his mind on Krystal and her very revealing outfit, then to that annoying fuck tard, Tricky, who on his adventure, would not shut the fuck up. Now the words "BAD GUY" and "LET'S PLAY" where destroying his brain.
"Goddammit." Fox cursed stridently to no one but himself. He knew he had two choices:
go on the cruise and face your worst nightmare.
or
stay on the Great Fox for God knows how long and turn into a raging maniac.
But which would he choose?