Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

AN: Sorry I haven't updated any of my other stories. I have the worse case of writter's block. Tell me what you think. I'm not sure I like it enough to leave it up.

Affairs of the Heart

Chapter 1: Hermione

It happened gradually, like most things do. I won't lie and say that it was out of our control and happened so fast I didn't know where the lines of right and wrong lay.

No, we had known months before our affair started that we would have one. Don't get me wrong, we denied any such feelings for one another, but that didn't stop us from having them.

We each made very grave errors early in life. We married straight out of school thinking that life couldn't be sweeter after Harry killed Lord Voldemort. We had believed, childishly, that we would love forever and with our separate partners.

Our wishes had been unheeded.

Before our affair started Harry had been married to Ginny for ten years and Ron and I had been married for eight years. Our feelings for one another had been gradually growing for the last two.

It took years before we really opened our eyes and saw what was right in front of us.

I had always wondered why I wanted Ron with the intensity that I did when, for all intents and purposes I'm a very level-headed person. I realized far too late that he represented that stability I had needed during the war. He kept me from driving myself crazy.

I needed him.

Unfortunately, I don't need him now. I still love Ron, but not in the way I know he thinks I do. My feelings for him have evolved into a brotherly love that I had once only felt towards Harry.

The way I feel for each of them has seemed to switch places in my mind. Nothing is as it should be and my mind can't logically come up with a reason for it. I've stayed up hours trying to figure out where it all went wrong.

When did I become the type of person I once looked down upon? When did I become an adulterer? All these questions constantly swim through my mind even after all these years.

I've been with Harry for over a year now and I still find myself up late at night wondering when did my life change so drastically.

It took me awhile to come to terms that I did indeed love Harry Potter with every fiber in my being. That I wasn't trying to transfer my feelings to him because I was having trouble with Ron.

There are times that I find myself wondering what it would be like to live my life as Mrs. Potter. I wonder what it would be like if we ran away together.

It is during those moments that I know we'll never be able to be together in every sense. We were damage the lives of so many if we were ever found out.

We are role models to every witch and wizard out there. If anyone knew that war heroes Harry Potter and Hermione Granger-Weasley were cheated on their respective partners to be with one another, let's just say all hell would break loose.

I also could never leave Ron because of our children. We have two very beautiful children and it would put a strain on them if we separated.

And even as I say this I know that I could never leave Harry either. I dally with the idea of ending our affair before someone gets hurt, but I don't have the strength to leave him. I've tried to dozens of times and each time I find myself back in his arms and I can't remember why I wanted to leave them in the first place.

Everything falls back into place the moment I'm back in his arms, but the guilt hangs high over my head as I smile at Ron. As I help my children get ready for Muggle school and tell them how much their father and I love them.

My guilt is strongest when I smile up at Ron from our shared bed and tell him that yes, I love him dearly. Knowing that as I say these words he thinks I mean that I'm in love with him and not that I have love for him.

It eats away at my insides, but even then I'm not strong enough to let go of Harry. He's my addiction and even as my logical side rants at me about how stupid I'm being. My heart melts at the sight of him and I can't wait until our next meeting.

Until the next time I'll be in his arms and he'll make everything better because he always does.

He always knows just what to say that in those moments we're together, even my logical side can't help but melt when he whispers those beautiful words to me,

I love you.