To anyone reading Verity, I'm still writing it. Expect an update for that soon, although it's about Daine visiting Snowsdale so it won't be the usual fluff.

Numair paced the floor of his study with jerky steps, his usual catlike grace vanished. Raising his hand, his Gift leaped from his fingers and raced into a large candle. It shivered and burst, spewing wax onto the walls and expensive carpet. The image of Daine as he had seen her only a few minutes before was fixed at the fore of his mind, no matter how hard he tried to dislodge it. Her face had been pale apart from the splatters of blood that spewed from a deep cut in her chest. Healers had swarmed around her prone form, barking commands at their apprentices. Then had come the blessed moment when she took a deep breath, air whooshing into her lungs, and the senior healer had announced in a shaky voice that she would live. Her eyes sought and found his; as she gave him the smallest of smiles, he turned and strode from the infirmary.

It was his fault, the rust of drying blood on his clothes and hands proved that. She had thrown himself in front of the hurrok for him, and had received a life threatening gouge for her trouble. If he had been paying more attention, if he had turned a second sooner, Daine wouldn't have had to throw herself in front of him like some sort of grotesque human shield. It wasn't the first time, either. She had put herself between him and a dragon not long after they first met, and had brought Ozorne's wrath upon herself by avenging his 'death'.

It wasn't just that she put herself in danger. Numair was all too aware of the whispers that followed her down every corridor. In becoming his lover she had ruined her reputation, and hardly a day went by without someone calling her honour or integrity into question. Their friends did their best to quash the cruel words and rumours, but it just wasn't enough. It seemed that she was always sacrificing for him, be it her reputation or her very life. Mithros, not long ago she had given up the chance to be a goddess. For him.

For weeks a small, treacherous voice in the back of his mind had been telling him that their relationship could only damage her beyond repair. Only now the voice wasn't so small and didn't seem as ridiculous as it once had. Hadn't today proved its point? She had almost died because of him. Leave, the voice whispered. Leave now before you break her forever. You've taught her all you can and she has more friends than she can count. She'll find a new love in time, one who won't put her in so much danger.

With one quick motion he pulled the focus from his wrist and flipped it open. Daine smiled up at him, perfect in detail from the smoky curls to the stubborn chin. Could he live with himself if one day he only had the portrait, if the original was buried in an early grave because he had been careless or shoddy? Behind him the door swung open and he snapped the locket shut on the portrait, throwing it down onto the desk. Turning, he found Daine. The feeble arguments that their relationship wouldn't cause her harm evaporated. She was still deathly pale and swayed slightly on her feet.

"Why are you out of bed?" He demanded. He wanted nothing more than to run across the room and sweep her up into his arms to reassure himself that she was alive. Reminding himself that it was his fault she was in this state in the first place, he remained where he was and clenched trembling hands behind his back.

"I wanted to make sure you're alright," she said, easing herself onto a chair and wincing visibly at the pain. "You left so quickly. Besides, there's something I need to tell you. The healers-"

"You shouldn't be here," Numair snapped, frowning. Once again she was risking her health because of him.

"Nonsense. I can recover just as well in our bed as in the infirmary. I-"

"Daine," he interrupted, only to find that he didn't know what to say. Now? His mind shrieked. You're going to do this now? After she just risked her life for you? He detested the thought of causing her pain when she was in so much already, but he knew if he didn't say what he needed to now, when he had the resolve, he never would. "I don't think you staying here is a good idea."

Daine rolled her eyes and sighed. "Alright, I'll go back to the infirmary. But I'm only staying there for one night."

Numair took a deep breath and held it before saying, "I didn't mean just tonight. I meant at all."

The look of amused exasperation on her face vanished to be quickly replaced by worry. "What do you mean?" She asked quietly.

"I mean this, us being together, isn't working." His stomach lurched unpleasantly as her eyes widened in shock and pain. "Look at what happened today; protecting me was almost your death."

"We've always looked after each other, Numair," she said, rising and moving towards him.

"I wouldn't be able to live if I was responsible for your death and, if you continue to behave as you did today, I surely will be. Even though it kills me to say it, I don't think we should be lovers."

Daine shook her head. "Even if we weren't lovers I'd still try to protect you. I always have, and you've always done the same for me."

She's not going to listen, the voice in his head hissed. You knew she wouldn't. You have to hurt her to protect her. Numair had been afraid it would come to this; the prospect of being injured or maybe even killed defending him just wasn't a good enough reason for Daine to end their relationship. Closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see the hurt on her face he said, "I'm afraid that I haven't been entirely honest with you. There's someone else; another woman."

A long pause. Then, "Someone-?" Her hushed voice broke before she could finish.

Numair winced. He had thought, foolishly, that this wouldn't be as hard if he couldn't see her; but her voice told him just as clearly as her eyes what he was doing to her. "I've had feelings for her for some time. It was foolish of me to believe that a relationship between us could work. You–you're so young, and I need someone more mature." He hated himself; he was using her deepest fears and anxieties against her. "You can remain here, if you wish, and I will procure new rooms, else you can return to the Rider barracks."

He opened his eyes to be greeted with the sight of tears on his love's cheeks. His arms itched to wrap themselves around her, and his traitor tongue wanted to announce that everything he had just said was a lie. Steeling himself, he rapidly exited the room before Daine could see the tears that gathered in his eyes.

Onua found him at dawn, slumped at the base of Balor's Needle. She didn't take into account the way he sat, his face buried in his hands, loose strands of hair flying wild. "When I gave you my blessing to take my friend as a lover," she said in a voice that trembled, "I never thought you would abandon her for a Court strumpet within months! You should count your lucky stars that Alanna isn't here or you'd have been castrated by now!"

Numair looked up at her, face tormented, eyes red and puffy from weeping. "Don't you dare cry!" She snapped. "You have hurt her, not the other way around."

"You've spoken to Daine?" He asked quietly. "How is she?"

"Heartbroken, what do you expect!" Onua cried. "I would feel the same if my lover abandoned me for another woman. Half the palace animals were trying to squeeze into her room when I got there."

"I lied," Numair said in a tormented whisper.

"Well that much is clear."

"No, I lied about there being another woman. There isn't one."

Onua snorted. "Has she decided she doesn't want you and now you've changed your mind about Daine?"

"Onua, please," he pleaded, pulling himself into a kneeling position. "I'm not lying. You can use a truth spell if you need to."

She fell silent and Numair knew that she was doing just as he suggested. After a long moment she said quietly, "Why? Why would you hurt her like that if it isn't true?"

"You know what happened today, she was injured protecting me! I can't allow her to continue to be hurt because of me."

Onua stared at him, aghast. "That's why?"

"You make it sound stupid," Numair mumbled. "But she deserves to be with someone who won't put her in harm's way."

Growling in frustration, she said, "It is stupid! Did you stop to think that, with or without you, Daine will always be in danger as long as she works for Jon, and she certainly won't stop that."

Numair blinked. He hadn't thought of that.

"And as long as she's working for the realm," Onua continued, "you are the best person she could have at her side. There isn't a mage as powerful as you in all the Eastern Lands; no one can offer her the same kind of protection as you."

Numair struggled to his feet, staggering. He had been so busy thinking about the ways he put her in danger that he hadn't stopped to think about the many times he had saved her life. What if he hadn't been there when the bandits shot her in the wing while she was a wild goose? What if he hadn't found her after her run in with the Royal hunters in deer form? What if he hadn't been there when the spidrens captured her in the Divine Realms? "What have I done?" He whispered, horrified.

"You've broken her heart as well as your own," Onua said grimly. "But you can still mend things. Explain and apologise before it's too late to put things right."

Without another word, Numair sprinted past her. The journey between Balor's Needle and his rooms was the most agonizingly long one he had ever taken, but he still didn't have enough time to think of what he would say to Daine. Soon he was pushing open the unlocked door and falling inside their sitting room. To his surprise it was empty. After what Onua said he had expected to find masses of animals, all waiting to bite or gouge him.

"Daine?" He called, moving into the bedroom and finding it empty. A quick search of his study revealed no signs of her. Something else was wrong: not only was Daine not here, but neither was Kitten. Frowning, he moved back into the sitting room in time to see a flustered, red faced Onua burst through the door. "I came as fast as I could," she gasped. "Cloud's gone."

"No," Numair moaned softly. He tried to remain calm, telling himself that perhaps Daine had just needed a ride to take her mind off things. But that still didn't explain Kitten's absence. He hurried back into the bedroom, Onua at his heels. Now he saw what he hadn't when he was searching for Daine: the drawers had been yanked open and clothes were sticking out. Her pack was gone.

"Has she-?"

"It's alright," Numair interrupted before she could voice the awful thought. "I can find her. I have a focus." He strode into his study and headed straight for his desk, where he had set it down. It was nowhere in sight. Numair began to push papers and books off the desk, hunting for the bracelet that would lead him to Daine. After a candle mark of searching both the desk and the room he was forced to accept that the focus was gone.