The Concept: A collection of Bleach oneshots, fifteen in total (perhaps more, if inspiration strikes), of all different pairings/themes/settings. The "inspiration word" for each will be the title of the chapter. Thanks to Riona Strife for the inspiration words.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor any of the characters, nor the plot. Only the crazy little situations they get themselves into.

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ONESHOT / 001: "Candy"

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"And what, exactly, does this...thing do?"

I'm Kurosaki Ichigo. Age fifteen. Freshman.

The petite girl sat down on her heels and cocked her head at an odd angle to look in the cavernous opening near her knees. She brushed back her raven hair from her face, holding most of it in one fist so she could see better.

...and I've got the universe's weirdest female living in my bedroom closet.

"It's a vending machine," Ichigo answered wearily, his brow furrowing. "You get food out of there."

"Out of there?" Rukia asked incredulously, turning her head and looking up at him. "This...monstrosity?"

"Yeah," he responded, trying to restrain himself, instead clicking his tongue. "Want me to show you?"

Rukia considered, then gathered herself and stood up, casting Ichigo a rather disbelieving cock of the eyebrow as she watched him approach the large, boxy machine. Her dark eyes followed his hand as it searched in his pocket, came up with a coin, and brought it to a thin opening on the right side. He put it through, and she jumped slightly as she heard a loud clink of gears emit from somewhere inside the mysterious contraption.

"Er, which kind do you want?" Ichigo asked her, indicating a column of brightly-colored pictures set in plastic beneath the opening he'd slid the coin through.

"Uhm..." she said warily, looking with slight disdain at the faded depictions. "Why don't you decide?"

He muttered to himself, then punched one of the plastic outcroppings with his knuckle. Rukia stepped back a pace when an ominous rumbling sounded from deep within the machine.

As an extra precaution, she side-stepped to stand behind the orange-haired teenager beside her.

With a crash, something landed in the rectangular cavern she'd been examining a moment ago. Startled, she peered out from around Ichigo's arm as he bent to retrieve whatever had fallen.

...sometimes I wonder if she'll ever get used to the mortal world.

He thrust something at her, and she took it carefully from him, turning it over in her hand.

"Chock--" she began, cocking an eyebrow. "Chocolate?"

"Yeah, it's good," Ichigo said. He couldn't help but snicker inwardly at the shinigami next to him, for once not assuming intellectual superiority over him. "Give it a try."

She pursed her lips, staring at the paper-wrapped bar in her hands with a look of extreme condescension.

"Fine, lemme do it, dumbass," Ichigo said impatiently after a moment, taking the treat from her and peeling the paper off somewhat unceremoniously. He crumbled the wrapper in one hand while thrusting the chocolate back at her, the bar a bit soft at the sides from the June sun.

Rukia took it, then with a look of--was it disgust?--brought it to her lips and bit into it. She seemed to hold it on her tongue for a moment, then began to eat it, the frown on her face loosening. She looked back up at him, cocking her lips in a half-smile.

"Not horrible," she said, licking some melted sweet off her fingertips. Ichigo threw his bag over his shoulder, rolling his eyes and putting his free hand in his pocket.

"C'mon, let's get home before it melts."

"All right," Rukia conceded, breaking off another small piece. "Ichigo-san...would you be able to leave any of this in your closet?"

END

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