Broken People. A plan for destruction. The chat room is still open, waiting for X-day to come.
Whispers are all I hear. They surround me and choke me. It is hard to breathe.
"Hey, isn't she the girl that got an perfect score on the entrance exam?"
"Wow, so smart. I wish I could be as smart as her."
"Dang, she doesn't look like it but I guess you can't tell a genius by looking, huh?"
I am not a genius. I never was. Why does everyone think I am? I am a normal, studious girl. I just study a lot and get good test scores. Being smart is a lie. I can't stand the lies. Why can't people see the truth? I'm transparent and anyone can see though this false facade. Why can't they see it? I am not smart...
"A 99 average without even trying? She needs to take the test. That is not natural."
I walked into the gifted room for the first time. Everyone stared at me. They didn't need to speak; I could read their faces. The faces revealed everything. I could see from their looks that they thought I didn't belong here. They wanted me out. I wanted to run that moment but I stayed still. I couldn't let my mother down. I just couldn't. So I stared at the floor and the next year we moved. No one knew that I didn't belong but me and it killed me.
I woke up from my daydream in front of the computer lab. I entered and took a seat at a computer. I got into the school's chat room for the first time. User name? I typed in Lies.
Second best describes my life. I never was in the limelight, even as a child. To my parents, my brother was a better sight to behold. I was always told to be more like my brother. I tried in the beginning but all in vain. It was like trying to catch a shadow. You simply couldn't. It took me a while to realize this. I just gave up and accepted it. Eventually, the drive for me to succeed faded away. It just didn't matter anymore. My grades dropped from mostly A's and one B to almost all B's and the now and then C. My parents were furious, but I didn't care. They had Mr. Perfect didn't they?
I ignored all their comments and eventually they stopped caring. I was a lost cause. No use working on me. What was I doing during this time? Since all this free time opened up, I began to write and go to parties. I am a great writer because when I rant, I rant into the paper. It is the only way I can stay sane.
Mostly, my relationship consists between my parents and I consists of this: I come home and eat dinner with them. I don't talk to them and I ignore them. They in turn ignore me back and talk to my brother. I would like to talk to them but this cycle I can not break it. All I can do is rant into my papers, trying to ignore the feeling of needing something I left behind a long time ago.
Before I know it, I am in front of a computer. I log into the chat room and see someone is already in there. My name is Painful-Shadow.
School is hell for me. Everyone hates me because of what I did in the past. Since everyone is from this area and went with me to middle school, they know. They know of what I did back then. What they don't know is why.
You know how people say get your anger out in construtive ways? Well, if you don't, you end up like me. I am an example of how not to be. I burned a couple of buildings but luckly for me, none of the burns did much damage. I beat people up daily. I couldn't help it.
I lived with my uncle. My uncle wasn't the best at raising me. He hated my guts and I ended up with him because he is the only relative I got. He was mad at my mom for having me outside of marriage. He thinks of me as a disgrace so he makes me pay for it. A hit, a scream, none of which went through the walls. A girl was in pain and was angry.
She let it out at school in the most destructive way. When the girl finally got her act together and decided trashing classrooms wasn't going to fix her life, she was in high school. Problem was, people though she was still the destructive psycho from before, not a new person. She heard people run away and talk about her behind her back.
She was at a computer and into a chat room. Maybe I can rant here? Her user name was lollipop to contrast with her reputation.
The stage is set for a new beginning.