Disclaimer: Don't own them. Not making any money.

A/N: This is a fill in the blank three-shot. (You'll understand when you read the last chapter).

Hope you like it! And thanks for reading.
-Cyn

To Loathe Thy Love
Chapter 1: Shock of a Lifetime

I'm not sure how long I stood motionless staring at my dining room table in shock. The mysterious envelope's contents spanned the whole table top. The clarity of what I was looking at made it seem as if I was the one holding the camera only a few feet away from the unfolding scenes, ready to capture every second on film.

I had come home to find various things dropped off in my apartment so many times I lost count. Hell I've even received other disturbing pictures in the past. But these . . . these without a doubt took the cake. The pictures displayed before me have set the bar so high that now I doubt anything I encounter will ever compare to this moment with these pictures.

The part that really gets to me though, the thing that made me freeze when my brain registered what I was seeing, wasn't the scene captured in print. It was the person who printed them on 8 x 10 quality photo paper before chronologically enclosing them in a plain manila envelope with a simple four word explanation written in black ink across the front.

Forcing down the bile that was building in the back of my throat, I calmly gathered the glossy photographs and slid them back into their envelope. I grabbed my pocketbook, my surprise "gift" firmly clutched in my left hand, and headed out the door to my car.

It was a tossup on where I should go first. Who would be the first to regret doing this to me? My body made the decision, going on autopilot as a familiar road opened up to me. I hit every green light making the short drive in record time. There was no thinking in the quiet of my car; even the hum of nearby traffic was blocked out of my head. My ears were useless for the time being with my mind as blank as a white sheet. I had no idea what I was going to do when I arrived but damned if I gave a shit right now.

Keying my way in, I parked in my usual spot by Rangers cars. All of which were accounted for. Just as I closed my car door behind me with only my envelope in hand, the elevator dinged. Junior stepped out giving me a warm smile as Cal stood by the elevator and held the doors open for me.

"Hey Bomber," Junior greeted walking towards one of the standard issue Rangeman Escapes. "Keeping out of trouble, I hope?"

Giving a short nod and half smile I walked past them both into the elevator. Cal looked at me curiously but said nothing until I asked where Ranger was.

"Gym," was, thankfully, all he said.

I pressed the correct floor giving him a half nod too in acknowledgement. Another second passed as we stared at each other before he moved him arm and jogged towards the car Junior already started.

The ride up was short, leaving me no time to think about what I was going to accomplish by coming here right now. A normal person would probably be at home in a ball crying for the injustice of the double betrayal but then again I never claimed to be normal.

As the doors slid open quietly it revealed Lester doing some damage to a punching bag, Bobby setting a fast pace on a treadmill, and Hal doing arm curls with weights bigger than his head, all the while Tank and Ranger were dripping with sweat as they traded blows on the mats.

Seeing Tank spare me a glance Ranger landed a sharp kick to the back of his left leg, sending Tank to his knees. In a flash Ranger had him in a headlock that cut off his air supply. Knowing it would take less than a minute for the big guy to pass out Tank tapped his hand against Rangers arm in surrender. He was released only a second later. Both men were panting slightly as they gathered themselves together.

My walk was steady as I made my way to stand right in front on Ranger. For a split second I was still unsure of what I was going to do when I saw a slight twitch of his lips.

"Babe."

It was that twitch, that amusement, that sent my right hand sailing in the air. My palm connected harshly to his cheek with a resounding smack that echoed in the now silent gym. The force of the unexpected blow sent Rangers head twisting to the side.

His head moved slowly back towards me, shock clearly written all over before his blank face slammed down.

"You're right," I said evenly. "You are so fucking right," some bile surged again but quickly turned into venom as I continued, my voice growing louder every second. "I do deserve better. I deserve a friend that will stand by me through bad times. I deserve a friend that will comfort me even if I don't deserve it. I deserve a friend that will not shove disgusting photos down my throat. I deserve a friend," I screamed.

Ripping open the envelope I threw the pictures at Ranger one by one. Photos of Joe Morelli in the bed we usually shared these days with some redhead I recognized as a nurse flew through the air before falling mostly face up on the floor at our feet.

The photos showed their bodies naked and glistening with his dick in every hole in her body with such focus I could easily count the number of hairs on their lower bodies. All of them were time stamped with one of two dates. Nine days ago during midday or today's date . . . just three hours ago.

I continued my tirade, barely just getting started. "You're the one that sent me back to him after you fucked me, leaving without a second glance as you yanked your pants back in place!" There was a surprised gasp that I ignored and plowed on. "You're the one who told me I was better off with him! You're the one who pushed me towards this and now you have the balls to tell me I deserve better?" Shaking my head in disgust my voice dropped back down. "Well fuck you Ranger." I lifted my eyes to his and let all the anger I felt tightly coiled inside me show through my eyes. "Not only do you have these pictures taken but to have them blown up like this? To leave them for me to find with nothing but a scribbled 'Babe – You Deserve Better' on some fucking envelope, it disgusts me." My voice shook as I struggled to force the next words from my throat. "You disgust me," I finish on a whisper.

Turning my back on the room I didn't bother walking towards the elevator, instead I dart straight for the stairs running down them two at a time. My blood was burning like fire in my veins making it hard to concentrate. My breath came out in fast pants. The pressure in my eyes doubled – tripled – until I had to bite my bottom lip, roughly breaking through its skin, to keep the tears at bay.

I will not break here. I will not break here. I will not break here. I repeated over and over in my head.

Not in his building. Not here. Please God not here.

Throwing open the garage door when I reach the bottom I see the gates open and thank whoever is in the control room when I realize no car is coming or going. Not even bothering to get in my own car to escape, I run past it and out the open gate. Greedily I suck down large gulps of air as my body revolts against itself, not even making it five feet from the building before my legs gave out under me.

I scraped my palms, one still red from earlier, as I landed clumsily on my hands and knees. Unable to hold back anymore, tears begin rolling steadily down my face as I struggle to breathe properly. My lungs ache for a decent breath but I can't focus enough to get one as loud sobs rip their way out of my throat. The sounds I make don't even seem human to my ears.

Just as I start to see bright dots creep up into my vision, Lester suddenly drops down in front of me. His hands grip my head forcing it towards his. The green of his eyes are filled with nothing but protection and worry. The instinct to fight him, to get away from him and this building are gone in a whirlwind of emotions when he speaks.

"I swear to you Stephanie that I knew nothing about whatever went down that lead to those pictures." His eyes are filled with so much heartache for me I can't help but believe him, to trust him to help me now. He smiled lightly before continuing. "I will do anything to help you, you know that Beautiful, but first I need you to calm down and breathe. I don't want you passing out now."

My breathing remained ragged as I stared helplessly into the small comfort of his eyes. The feeling of being lightheaded began to settle heavily in my head.

"Oh no you don't," Les whispered firmly. "Don't you dare faint on me Steph." He pulled my body up against his, my face only an inch away from his as his breath flowed over me. He kept his eyes locked on mine as his voice softened slightly. "Keep looking at me Steph. Breathe with me. Just relax and follow me. Slowly. Take a deep breath through your nose and let it out through your mouth. Just like that. Perfect Steph," he said even more softly as I struggled to do as he asked. "Just like that."

We breathed together for long minutes with him whispering encouragement while never letting his gaze waver from mine even once. Eventually the bright dots disappeared. My head hurt like hell now but I wasn't in danger of passing out anymore.

An endless stream of tears continued to pour from my eyes though, which I finally closed after letting myself collapse into the safety of Lester's arms. He held me tight to his body, cradling me as best he could in our awkward position on our knees. My hands gripped onto his sweat and tear soaked t-shirt like it was my last lifeline.

"I got you Beautiful. I got you."

As my heart steadied itself Lester changed his grip on me, moving his left hand under the back of my knees while keeping his right arm tight around my back. Half a second later he was standing tall with me cradled in his arms.

Panic set in as he took a step towards the garage. I tried to get out of his grasp but my arms were so weak I could barely flick them against him.

"Shhh Stephanie," Lester breathed against my ear. "You won't have to see anyone you don't want to. I swear you won't, ok?"

I held tense in his arms before relaxing and nodding my head.

"Ok. Good." He started walking again to the once again open gate. "Now I need you to make a decision for me Beautiful. You're in no shape to drive but I will take you anywhere you want to go . . . after you get your lip fixed."

Just mentioning my mangled lip caused its pain roaring up to the front of my mind. "Ow," I cried softly, my hand moving towards it. The pain sharpened when my fingers ghosted over the bloody mess.

I felt Lester chuckle softly. "Yes, ow." We stopped in front of my car. Les softly nudged my forehead with his chin, making me look up into his eyes once more. They were completely open to me letting me see how much he just wanted to help me. "I know you don't want to be here but you can either come with me up to my room so Bobby can take a look . . . or I can drive you to the ER."

Again I tensed at the mention of going to the hospital. With my luck I'd see the damn redhead. "Just Bobby?" I asked softly.

Les nodded. "Just Bobby. I promise I won't let anyone come if you don't want them." He grinned slightly. "You got your own army of MerryMen about to make damn sure you get your way no matter what." He whispered conspiratorially into my ear, "There be a mutiny underfoot milady." There was a drawn out 'Argggg' as well at the end.

He got what wanted when I laughed, loving and hating him since it made my lip ache more.

"There she is," Les smiled wide. "I knew my favorite, beautiful bounty hunter was in there somewhere." He took a step towards the waiting elevators, pausing to look at me critically. "Bobby?"

Taking a deep breath, I leaned my head back against his shoulder, being careful my lip didn't touch anything, and closed my eyes. "Bobby," I confirmed. There was just no way Lester would make me see him if I didn't want to.

Lester's footsteps were the only sound I registered as he walked us into the elevator. He didn't so much as shift me to press the correct button; instead he just relaxed against the back as the elevator began its ascent. Mentally I sent another thank you to whoever was in the control room.

I tried to feel embarrassed about the scene I made but I was just too tired, mentally and physically, to care. Being so angry took everything out of me.

The doors opened after a few moments to the guy's apartments but all was quiet. Not a creature was stirring. Not even a mouse. I giggled despite trying to stop. I felt Lester look at me but I kept my head firmly planted against his shoulder and my eyes shut.

My eyes only opened when he turned left and a door softly shut behind me.

We were in his apartment. The living room was just ahead of us, a small kitchen to the right and his bedroom to the left where I assumed there was a connecting bathroom. The base tones he chose where dark: black leather seating and chocolate brown carpeting. The coffee and side tables a deep natural wood that fit perfectly in his space. But everywhere color was popping up. All the shades of green and blues gave the place life and personality in the knickknacks scattered about. Les' piece de résistance was a huge flat screen TV mounted on the wall to the left next to the bedroom archway.

Bobby was leaning against the bar separating the kitchen from the living room, a large black bag hanging from his right hand. His eyes were kind but there was a tightness in his smile that concerned me. I wasn't sure if it was at the situation or me specifically.

The three of us said nothing though as Lester carried me into his bedroom, carefully putting me down so my back was against the black leather headboard. The outer wood frame was the same as his side tables out in the living room. The bed was a comfy King with a light green and white patterned comforter. In here were two more side tables, two dressers and a small closet.

Bobby came in just as Lester reached down and took off my right sneaker. Startled, I pushed his hands away with a light blush on my cheeks. "I can do that myself."

"Shut up," he said lightly. "I'm taking care of you. Don't take away a reason for me to touch you." He gave me a quick grin and a wink before pushing my hands away and taking off my other shoe.

Bobby faced me and rolled his eyes. He moved next to Lester and smacked the backside of his head. "Get away from her you leech."

Lester faked scowled but sat on the bed by my feet.

Bobby focused his attention to my face. "That's a pretty nasty cut you got there Bomber."

The blush that just faded came back full force. "I didn't mean to do it," I said quietly and looked down.

Bobby cupped my chin and lifted my head so he could see my eyes. "Well I know that. It was a . . . ah . . . difficult situation to deal with. Let's just get you cleaned up and we won't have to say another word about it." This time his smile was gentle through and through. When I nodded he asked if the lip was the only thing he needed to see.

I was about to say yes when Lester tapped the side of my legs causing me to look down. And just like with my lip, my knees pulsed with heat and pain. "Oh." My jeans were torn and bloody at the knees. "I tripped outside," I said even though it was obvious what happened. I lifted my hands up to inspect them. They were scraped slightly with only a tiny bit of blood and dirt on them.

"You had a lot of adrenaline pumping in your system. That's why you didn't feel them right way. The pains going to get a little worse as it leaves your system," Bobby explained before telling Lester to bring me into the bathroom so he could clean my legs and palms properly.

Les did as asked, picking me up even though I protested, carrying me the short distance. Every surface was so white and shiny I had to blink a few times to focus. He set me on the closed toilet before walking back out into the bedroom. Bobby came in and set his bag on the counter pulling out a bunch of things I didn't want to see so I looked away.

Walking back in with a pair of gray gym shorts, Les handed them to me. When I looked at him confused he grinned and explained. "Your jeans gotta come off for Bobby to help Beautiful."

I looked down at my legs. Right. They left the room for a moment while I struggled to stand and push my jeans down my legs. When I got them to my knees I gasped loudly as the material stuck, forcing some cuts to open and bleed more when I finally yanked and pulled the jeans off.

Tiredly I sank back onto the toilet and stared at the dirty bleeding mess that was now my knees. They were red and swollen and some bruising was already popping up. They'll be as purple as an eggplant before long. With a sigh I gingerly lifted one leg slipping it into the loose material of the shorts before repeating with the other foot. Gritting my teeth I braced myself and quickly lifted my ass, pulling the shorts to cover me just as Bobby knocked and walked in.

He grimaced when I pulled the too long shorts up to bunch around my thighs. "You sure did a number on yourself Bomber," he said kneeling in front of me. "There's a lot of dirt in there. I'm gonna have to clean pretty deep to get it all out."

"Perfect."

He smiled and stood, pausing just to kiss my forehead before pulling a vial of clear liquid from his bag. "Don't worry, I'm going to send you to Happy Land so you won't feel a thing. This way I don't have to numb up your lip when I close it. You'll be patched up and good as new when you wake up."

I forced my eyes away from the needle he was filling up when Lester came in. He frowned when he got a good look at my legs, already redder than a few moments before. He glanced at the needle coming for me seriously. "Bobby's sending me to Happy Land." I could use some happy in my life, I thought bitterly.

Les walked over and lightly kissed the good side of my mouth. "We make our own happiness Beautiful," he whispered and kissed my forehead too.

I was too nervous to blush as Bobby lifted my right arm cleaning part of it with an alcohol wipe. Damn needles. My eyes shut on their own accord. Lester graciously held my other hand tightly as the needle went smoothly into my arm. I let out a long breath and waited patiently for my Happy Land.

I was floating somewhere between conscious and unconsciousness. Voices talked indistinctly somewhere near me. I struggled to pay attention but I only heard snippets of sentences.

". . . Going to be upset when she wakes up."

". . . Didn't look close enough."

". . . Still fucked up."

". . . Does deserve better than him."

". . . Better than us all."

". . . Figure out who took them."

". . . Want to hurt them all."

". . . Have to watch closely again."

". . . Can't get hurt anymore."

Confused I slowly sunk back into Happy Land where all thoughts were banned.

A/N: I promise it's not as messed up as it sounds! Things do get better! And of course worse ;)

Chapter Two: The Truth of the Matter.