Get over yourself Max. It's not like the whole world revolves around you. Well maybe it does. I am meant to save it so why can't the world centre on me? But then again, what kind of world would centre upon a mutant teenager who can't seem to get out of bed in the morning for anything.
That's what amazes me. The fact that I am so selfish and so dependent yet my life comes crashing down the moment one single person goes. It's ridiculous that I base all my support on one person who I knew could leave anytime. Maybe I never thought Fang would leave or maybe I thought I could lean on the rest of the flock. But right now I sleep till noon and when I get up all I do is mope.
It's pathetic.
I'm pathetic. I am supposed to lead these guys but right now I can't even leave. And that's dangerous.
I know I should be able to get up and get the hell out of this house before someone discovers us but I keep telling myself that everyone's tired or that Dylan still needs more flight practice. None of which I've been helping with. I know he felt strange about being taught how to fly by a blind guy and a kid named after his own body emissions but I guess with no one else around he had no choice.
Angel and Nudge are always too busy with me, trying to get me up, talking with me or just trying to stop me from stalking Fang's blog. Oh how I miss him. Part of me wants to kiss him and never let him go while another part of me wants to kick his ass but another, sane part of me just wants him to be happy. And I do hope he is. But couldn't he be happy here with us? Why can't he still be here to be my go-to guy? Why won't he come back when everything he has ever known is here?
I try to stop thinking about him but I can't. He should be here! I need him and I know he needs me. Around here everyone needs me, which is why I have to get up right now. Hell, I know it's selfish but those kind of thoughts get me up in the morning. Those thoughts that everyone needs Max. Which they don't. Still, it's nice to think they do.
Isn't it?