Past the Point of No Return
No. Just no. You can't possibly stay in this town a day longer.
Ok I feel bad for Quinn. I know my other stories have all been neglected but I stopped long enough that I completely forgot what I was trying to do with them next. Unfortunately the Glee submission story I started looks like it might not ever get updated because I simply can't figure out how to make it something new; not just every female character wanting to be Rachel but also be this, that, and everything in their own little world be perfect. Maybe I'll take all those characters that were submitted and use them in something else Glee related where they are minor characters who don't want to take over Rachel's life. Anyway, I don't own Glee or pretty much anything that might be mentioned in this story. This is written from Quinn's thought process so it might get a little skippy but I think it should be easy enough to follow.
You know you're still pretty fucked up. You can go to school and smile and let everyone think that you're ok but you know you're not ever going to be really truly ok again. You can put on your pretty Anthropologie skirts with your sweet J. Crew sweaters and pretend you are the perfect person you used to be. Except there are two problems with that: 1. you were never really that perfect to begin with and 2. as previously mentioned, you are really fucked up.
No amount of make-up and restored blonde hair could patch up your broken insides. No amount of cute clothes would make your twisted mind match the reconstructed shell. Sure putting yourself back together made you a little less crazy but clothes and make-up didn't fix the real problem. It didn't stitch up your heart or heal your head or make you feel any better at the end of the day. You might not look as messed up anymore but that doesn't mean you're any better and no one in the whole God damn school seems to understand that.
They think it was just a phase you went through. Where chopping off your hair and dying it pink got out all the frustration. Where dressing differently and covering your face with piercings and dark makeup just created a new name for yourself. They thought you would run out of steam eventually and the crazy phase would be over and you would go back to normal.
You are well aware of the fact you might have gone off the deep end, but who could honestly blame you? Sophomore year was hell. You-no you won't go there again. No thinking about her would just send you into another panic attack and you've had so many of those lately that it's a miracle no one has noticed yet-well a maybe not a miracle, maybe you want someone to notice. Maybe you need someone to just notice and hold you while you break down.
Puck noticed-kinda. He knew that Shelby bringing her to town had sent you back to that place where everything was dark and your own thoughts were dangerous. He held you one night then wanted nothing to do with you. He wasn't the kind of guy you wanted to help you to deal with emotions anyway.
When you woke up and he was gone you were so thankful you had a pack of cigarettes hidden in the back of the bottom drawer with all the old cheerleading competition t-shirts. Yeah yeah you know smoking is bad and all that other stuff they teach you in health class starting in elementary school (they teach you other things in health class too) but that didn't stop you. You had picked up the habit over the summer and it had become your way of calming down.
So long story short you are always on the verge of a break down no matter how pulled together you look and as long as you are stuck here with your past haunting you, you will always be only seconds away from that dark place you go to much too often.
You were already having a bad day when you got to lunch and found Mercedes discussing her summer thing with Sam. It's not like you didn't know she had a thing with your ex-boyfriend but it still hurt. How could he go from you to her? You didn't mean it that way. Just how could his taste change that much? Oh look you've gone and made yourself sound like a bitch even if it's only in your thoughts. So you went along with everyone else and pretended to be happy for Mercedes and actually interested in the details. No one noticed that you had zoned out, humming along as you thought back to your time with Sam just before he left you like everyone else in your life. Why weren't you good enough?
Then all those sappy love songs made you feel more alone and less perfect. Everyone around you had a hand to hold or someone to look at but you. You wished the assignment could just be over. Give Rachel whatever the hell song she wanted to sing. Let Brit and Mike figure out the choreography. Everyone could move on from this stupid assignment, until Valentine's Day...then you would be facing the same potential break down you were at that moment.
The last straw was Finn proposing to Rachel. Granted her answer wasn't exactly yes but everyone knew how much she loved him and how she wouldn't say no. Everyone knew that the engagement ring was more of a promise ring and she would accept the promise if he would let her continue to parade him around on a leash like a show dog-puppy, Finn was definitely more of a puppy. You couldn't help but remember a promise ring a certain blonde boy had given you. You meant to give it back to him to pawn but it was hidden in the back of that same drawer with your cigarettes-oh how you wanted one right now. And suddenly you couldn't breathe.
It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that maybe deep down you cared for Rachel and used to care for Finn. It was that they were all happy and smiley and thinking about their future while you were miserable and alone. Fuck them.
You bolted out of those doors as quickly as your heeled ankle boots would allow and went straight for your car. No one and nothing could stop you. You needed a cigarette-no you needed cigarettes, as in plural-and a bag of clothes then you would be gone.
You stopped outside to catch your breath and straighten out your thoughts. You recognized the craziness taking over. Then they walked out hand in hand with that ring on a chain around her neck.
No. Just no. You can't possibly stay in this town a day longer.
And that's it. Or maybe not. I'm thinking of doing an epilogue. But here are the options I have for y'all and if you think of something better just let me know.
It all ends here. You don't know what happens next and the ending is left open.
An epilogue where Quinn finds a way out without leaving town.
An epilogue where Quinn leaves town.
An epilogue where someone (you can pick who) finds Quinn and stops her from leaving.