Disclaimer - Of course, I do not own TB or SVM. I just didn't like the way season 4 ended. Personally I think AB is sometimes worse than a bad FF writer.

A strange noise gently jostled Sookie out of a deep, deep sleep. She refused to open her eyes and tried desperately to sink back into the bliss of the best night's sleep she had had in ages. Sookie was so comfortable. Her body was in the perfect position laying on a bed she was half convinced was really a cloud it felt so heavenly. The sheets surrounding her were so soft and just the right mix of materials so that they were petal soft without being overly silky. The comforter was just the right weight that she felt warm and cuddled not suffocated, the pillow was in just the right position. It was perfect, absolutely perfect. A small smile graced her lips as she luxuriated in the feeling.

This was nirvana and she wanted more. Keeping her eyes closed she slowly rolled over onto her back. Maybe a different comfortable position would encourage the sandman to make another appearance. She drifted awhile longer on a soft sea of bedding before falling back asleep. Moments, minutes or perhaps hours later that same noise was interrupting her sleep…again.

What the hell?

How long had she slept? It must really be late. 10:00? 11:00? Had she slept past noon, she wondered. No, she swiftly stilled the voices in her head. Don't worry about the time. It doesn't matter. Today is your day off and you don't have anywhere to go, she told herself keeping her eyes closed. She would not look at the clock. No way. She was not going to acknowledge the day. She wanted to stay enveloped in her nest of bedding as long as she could. She desperately tried to burrow back into the restive sleep she had just woken from. Sookie had never felt this comfortable in her entire life. It was so blissfully quiet here. Sookie couldn't hear a thing. Nothing. Not a damn thing. It was magnificent. She simply laid there waiting for sleep to claim her again.

Unfortunately as much as her mind was telling, more like pleading with her body to go back to sleep, her senses were now engaged and slowly coming online. Sookie slowly reached up stretching each vertebra in her back and arched her legs, flexing her toes into points. She felt like a million bucks, like 10 million bucks, no. Like 100 million bucks! She felt awesome.

She felt better than she had in…. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this good. Sookie paused her stretching and contemplated that thought even further. Why she felt even better than when she had last drank vampire blood! And this was even better – it was all natural. This was all her! Her body had produced these kick butt endorphins all on their own, no vamp juice needed, thankyouverymuch! All she needed was a good night's sleep and…well… basically all she needed was sleep. At least that's all she was ready to focus on at the moment.

Sookie's internal voice turned snarky and was quick to add that a good night's sleep was not all she had gotten last night. She actually giggled out loud at that thought as she continued her stretch. The bed was absolutely huge. Sookie lowered her arms and scissored her legs in modified snow angel move that made her feel like a small child. That thought caused her to let out a very unlady like snort. The last thing she should be feeling is childlike as she rolled around naked as the day she was born in these thousand-thread count sheets. Well naked babies are pretty much the definition of childlike; she reasoned causing another set of giggles.

She rolled back onto her side – the side away from the clock - and slowly opened her eyes. Even though the room was dimly lit she knew it must be fairly late in the day. Oh well, she thought, she had desperately needed the sleep and refused to feel guilty about sleeping the day away. Sorry Gran, no guilt today. At least not about sleeping late she quickly added. After all she had been up rather late last night.

Sookie knew these hours. She had put them in before. Back when she had dated Bill she had regularly slept late in the day, waking early only if she had to work the lunch shift. She had also found herself sleeping later and later when Eric had stayed with her, especially at the end. Sookie never really meant for it to happen, it just sort of had. Now that she had no vampire boyfriend and therefore no need to stay up she should be sleeping at night … like a human. But that was the problem. She wasn't. It was so ironic. Even though she had no reason to be she was apparently still functioning on the body clock of a common fangbanger; staying up way too late and sleeping away the day. Ugh. Pathetic when put that way….but it was true. Just call me Ginger, she thought. Double ugh.

She had been so convinced that saying goodbye to both Bill and Eric had been the right thing to do. Actually the only thing to do. Her heart had felt so bruised and battered. She had just wanted to make it all stop hurting. She barely could breathe as she sat in that room with both of them. No matter what she was going to hurt someone and they were both important to her. She didn't want to hurt anyone. As always, hindsight is 20/20. Looking back she mentally shook her head over how naïve she had been. Now they were all hurting, well at least she knew she was.

She wondered if Eric and Bill were also hurting. Or had they already moved on? Did Eric ever think about the time he spent with her when he was under Marnie's spell? Did he ever stop and think about the discarded clothing that they had hastily left in the woods? Were their clothes still there? She had thought about it … more often than she should have. Once she had almost hiked back through the woods to find out. After all that had been one of her favorite sweatshirts and she wanted it back. But in the end she didn't go. Sookie didn't think she could handle seeing the evidence of the desire and passion she and Eric had shared that night. To see just how far their clothing had been scattered and how many items had ripped in their haste to get down to bare skin. No, she wasn't strong enough. She had made the right decision not to go.

Did Bill ever look out at towards her house and think of her? Did he ever pause in the middle of some vampire king duty and remember making love with her in the cemetery between their houses? If she closed her eyes and really concentrated she could still smell the beeswax candles that had been burning when they would bathe together in that huge tub at his house. Hmmm….did he even still have that tub? Now that his house had been restored to its old glory the washing tub had probably been replaced with some modern Jacuzzi tub. What a shame, she thought. That had been a beautiful old tub.

She didn't know if they ever thought of her, but she sure thought about them. She hadn't really talked to either one since that night. Four months later she could still hear herself begging, pleading with them not to not stop her and let her go. And they had…. damn them.

Both had rushed over when Tara had been shot. Whether they felt her distress or heard her cries she didn't know. Tara's wounds had been too grave and she was dead long before they had arrived even though it had been only moments later. It had seemed like a lifetime to Sookie. She felt as if she had aged years in those few seconds.

There was nothing they could have done to save her. Not that Tara would have wanted anything to do with vampires….even if they had been trying to save her life. In the end she went out in a blaze of glory. Just like her favorite Bon Jovi song that they had sung to countless times. Sniffing back tears, Sookie quickly ran her fingers under her eyes trying to get rid of the tears pressing hotly behind her eyelids.

Tara was now in a better place. Sookie had decided months ago to remember Tara from their childhood when things had been simpler and life easier; at least between the two of them. The last few years had not been easy on Tara. But in all honesty, Tara had also made life plenty difficult for a lot of people too…Sookie included. Tara had definitely made some poor decisions, but that was over and done with now. No more tears, she scolded herself. Tara would not want her crying. Especially since she had been finally feeling so good and not crying for once.

So had she made a poor decision?

She had needed to end things with both of them. Right? It had been such a mess. She couldn't take feeling ripped in half. But the kicker was…she still felt ripped open. She felt downright hollow inside. As if someone had reached in and scooped out her insides like they were seeds in a ripe summer melon. It was a hole that nothing seemed to fill. She couldn't sleep at night, had no interest in food, her best friend was dead and her brother was even more self-involved than normal. Jason was so confused over the whole Jessica and Hoyt thing, how in the world could he help her deal with the love triangle she was….had been in? No, this was conversation for a BFF, at least a girl friend. And that was a problem. Sookie really didn't have one of those.

So she worked and worked and worked some more. Double shifts at Merlotte's to scrubbing the bathroom tile at home. She'd stay busy even if it cost her sore feet and raw hands. Luckily (for her at least) one of Sam's waitresses had suddenly quit so there was plenty of extra shifts to pick up. Which was good thing, as the house really did NOT need to be scrubbed. Eric's army of workers must have included some very Gran-like cleaners as the house was practically spotless. Nevertheless, she cleaned anyway. Straightening and rearranging anything and everything that wasn't nailed down. Just about every piece of furniture in the house had found a new home (or two) and all the knickknacks too. She finally had to force herself to stop rearranging her kitchen cabinets when even she couldn't find things…like plates to eat off of. At least that gave her something else to do – kitchen search and rescue was becoming a real time consumer.

That night she had needed to get her feelings off her chest so she could breathe again. And she had felt a little freer, perhaps lighter? At least for a short while. But the truth that she had been forced to recognize late one sleepless night was that while saying goodbye had at least let her verbalize her inability to make a choice, but her feelings still existed. She still had feelings for both of them. She was afraid she would always love Bill, at least a little. He was her first love. He had said she was the love of his life, what girl didn't want to hear that? And she would never be able to forget her time with Eric. He had treated her like she was his first love. Eric had loved her with such pureness; all of her. He knew no differently, she had been his entire world and he had wanted it that way. But now he was different. He was right when he had said that he was more…he was Eric. So very Eric.

She blamed all these thoughts swirling through her head as to why she wasn't spending her nights sleeping. Most nights were spent wide awake, either staring at her ceiling or tossing and turning till her sheets practically fell to the floor. She would hardly sleep for a couple nights and then sleep like the dead the next. Sometimes she would even sleep for two consecutive nights and then she practically wanted to throw a party to celebrate how good she felt. Unfortunately before she could even write out those invitations, hell before she could even get in the car to go to the store to buy them, the pattern of sleeplessness would start up again.

It was getting absolutely ridiculous. She needed to figure out how to pull her life together. Starting with some rest and soon before she totally lost it. People already thought she was odd. Not to mention that she could pack a week's worth of clothing in the bags under her eyes. She had always enjoyed her work before and now she even dreaded going there. Sam meant well, but she was damn sick of the pity in his eyes when he looked at her. Not to mention that her sleep deprived zombie-like state had resulted in her taking more than one wrong order and she had spilled more drinks than a double fisted drinker with a severe case of Tourette's syndrome. Her tips were suffering right along with her general well being. Gran would say she wasn't fit for company and would most likely send her to her room. She really shouldn't even be leaving her house, but she knew she was spending too much time alone. Argh! What a Catch-22 her life was becoming! She felt like she couldn't win. Is this what insanity felt like?

Was that what had led her to today? Could she plead insanity as to her actions last night? She out right laughed at the mental image of herself standing in a courtroom before a robed man who faintly reminded her of Judge Wapner from the People's Court. Her sole garment was a very large and expensive looking bed sheet which she clutched to her chest while trying to raise her right hand, put her left hand on a Bible and remain decently covered at the same time.

'Miss Stackhouse, how do you explain your actions from last night?' he questioned in a no nonsense voice.

Despite the incredible case of bed head she was sporting, she responded in a very serious voice, 'Insanity sir, I claim insanity.'

'Not acceptable. You may be tired and under a lot of self-imposed stress. But you are not insane. Please answer the question.'

'Well then, I plead the Fifth.'

'Oh really… the Fifth? And why is that young lady?'

'Five, your honor. I meant five,' she responded in a much quieter voice, looking down at her bare feet.

'What? Speak up please. Five what? What does the number five have to do with anything?' He was clearly losing his patience and gave her a hard look over the tops of his bifocals.

Sookie cleared her throat, shook back her hair and met his stare.

'Yes, I said five your honor. Five…I do believe that is how many orgasms I had last night. But honestly, I might have lost count. It could have been more. After all it has been a while for me and it was a long evening…'

Ha! Could you imagine?

Shaking away the daydream she closed her eyes and rolled over once again to face the opposite direction. Time to stop thinking so much and get on with this day, Sookie told herself. Like Gran would say, 'time to face the music' or 'you've made your bed, now you lie in it.' Well… she was still lying in this bed, and in this case some hard working hotel maid had actually made the bed. However, Sookie had actively participated in the unmaking of this bed. She had most definitely – gloriously - gotten laid in this bed. Not quite how Gran would had meant it, but somehow she was sure that Gran would have appreciated the twist…after first being properly shocked and scandalized of course.

Taking a deep breath she slowly opened her eyes and gazed across the bed at the figure lying next to her.

Absently Sookie noted the time displayed on the alarm clock beyond him. Wow, it really was late. But she still had time. First she was content to just look, examining him from head to toe. Soon that wasn't enough; she quickly scooted across the bed leaving her warm nest to move to the cooler spot closer to him. Sookie made a quick grab to bring all the blankets with her. Once she was again swaddled, she restarted her examination. Had he always been this good looking? So strong? So appealing? Were his shoulders always this broad? Sookie found herself swallowing hard over the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat. Before she could stop herself her finger was slowly tracing down his nose and rubbing gently back and forth over his bottom lip. So soft. So very soft.

Argh! What was she doing? She abruptly wretched her hand away and all but threw herself away from his body. The bed bounced slightly from her sudden movements and for a moment it appeared that he was wakening from his daytime slumber. Sookie stopped breathing. Finally after a minute she realized what had happened and released her breath in a loud sigh. She breathed rapidly as if to make up for that lost minute and forced herself to get out of bed.

What was she going to do?

Ten minutes later she left the bathroom dressed in a thick white robe and no closer to a decision. Trying to keep her distance from the bed and all the attractions that it held she sat at the slightly uncomfortable desk chair on the edge of room. The large bed dominated the room and there really wasn't any other place to sit. The little sitting area with the comfy looking couch was far too close to him.

What was she going to do? Should she leave? Wait for him to wake? What would she say? What would he say? In so many ways she felt like a hypocrite. She wouldn't - couldn't - choose before and had all but begged him to let her go and now look at what she had done. Well what THEY had done really, she mentally corrected staring at the bed and its occupant. She had definitely not been alone last night. What was that other saying that Gran had always liked? 'It takes two to tango.' Well they had tangoed and then some last night. All night long, she added with a small smile.

What was she going to do?