Warning! Contains major spoilers for the Jedi consular story line.

[2017-09-12 Some cleanup and corrected typos]

[The time line and order of the story might not really follow the one in SWTOR as I don't exactly remember the order of events. These short 'scenes' were written at random. I've tried to put it in some logical order to make it more of a story.

I'm using the #5 customization for Zenith where he has green skin, red eyes and Sith-like tattoos on his face and lekku which made me think of this back story for him.

Jol, pronounced Like 'bowl' but with a J. 'The Defender' is short for the ship type 'Corellian Defender-class Light Corvette' which is the Jedi Consular ship.]

[The Defender, Hoth]
Annoyed that she had gone ahead with the Lieutenant to do recon he threw his gloves into the bunk. She most likely thought she was doing him a favor as the cold on Hoth did not agree with him. But what if something happened? He needed to be there. Not that she couldn't take care of herself but.. because. Because! He sighed. He had become more attached to her as they spent every day together. Maybe didn't feel the same way, or she was and weren't allowed to. He didn't know exactly what the Jedi oath demanded of her. They had never discussed that for obvious reasons. All he knew was that he was jealous. Not mad at her per se, just felt forgotten and diminished. And he didn't like the idea of this Lieutenant Sleazy staring at her whenever he thought no one was looking.

Zenith jammed his fist into the storage locker. Obviously that didn't help and only gave him physical pain on top of everything else. He sighed and rubbed his face. Maybe it was time he stopped fooling himself. He often thought of him 'feeling strongly' about her or 'protective' but who was he kidding really? He loved that stubborn Jedi and he couldn't help it. Was he in love with her? He wasn't sure. He didn't know where the line went as he had never had any family or close friends, never even considered falling in love. All he had was a slave's upbringing and a violent past. People around him died all the time and he had grown accustomed to not get too attached. Then she had barged into his life in a middle of a mission. They had not gotten along at all at first. Both stubborn as hell, used to working alone and calling the shots. But her skill in battle was impressive and her no-nonsense manner of speaking to people no matter their rank and getting things done was very appealing. He had never met a Jedi before but he imagined that she was not very Jedi-like. In other ways she was the very essence of what he heard about the Jedi. An emotionally distant aura made her hard to read and hard to get to know.

She never asked about his past, but anyone with a bit of Sith knowledge could probably tell from his distorted twi'lek features what he had been through, so she didn't have to. Looking the way he did he was never really considered twi'lek among his own. He fought for the Republic and that was good enough for most people but he remained a loner. He didn't belong anywhere or with anyone. He got used to be an outcast. A tattooed red eyed freak who's appearance was meant to scare others. If it bothered her she never let it on. Most people did not even care to meet his eyes but she did, every time. That alone was enough for him to seek her company. She seemed to prefer his as well and in less than two weeks he was following her anywhere on her request. More than once she had expressly emphasized how she appreciated having him around, in her own sort of robotic way. Often they did not communicate so much with words rather she would touch his arm or shoulder to bring his attention to something. Whenever they were alone in the field she still kept her distant Jedi facade but always seemed to want to be very close. It was endearing, confusing and almost drove him into a comical panic first time she had leaned her head on his shoulder. His first thought had been that she must be ill or had feinted from some injury they had not noticed as he couldn't imagine it was deliberate. He was not used to physical contact at all and much less from a woman he admired. She had just sat there for a minute or two while they were waiting for transport. She carried on as usual. He had almost forgotten how to breathe. They never talked about it. It was just something she did and he loved it more than he liked to admit.

In a very short time she became the most important person to him and with that the fear of losing her or something happening grew stronger. When she was away from him the fear was almost crippling. Not knowing what to do with himself and his worry he started to rearrange the weapon cabinets and military supplies. Mostly to keep himself busy but he also would feel more at ease knowing where everything was in case of an emergency. Maybe it would also make the time pass a bit quicker.

[Belsavis]
"What I'm saying is; the walls on your ship are thin. Was hard not to overhear you two." He commented with a bit more bitterness than intended.

"Then you should know I handled it."

"Well, from what I heard he could be an Imperial sleeper agent an-"

"I handled it." She unceremoniously cut him off.

"Really? Because he's still coming on to you like a charging bantha." She turned around and let him catch up.

"Is that what this is about?" She raised an eyebrow.

"What, no!" Yes. "I mean he can't be trusted." He quickly realized this was not a conversation he wanted to have.

"I thought you military types would get along." There was no hint of mockery, she genuinely thought him and the Lieutenant had something in common, but he was already losing his temper and let the comment fuel his anger.

"We are nothing alike! He's a danger to you and this operation!"

"I agree." She never once raised her voice or got frustrated with his temper.

"You're not list- what?"

"I agree."

"I heard you."

"Then what is the problem?" Genuine confusion seeping through her otherwise so inscrutable Jedi facade. He felt a sudden urge to wrap his arms around her in that moment but quickly composed his himself from fear she could somehow sense his thoughts.

"Look, I don't question your judgment but do you know for sure he is who he says he is?"

"I don't. If he serves the enemy what better place to keep him than under our watch?" She stopped. "Do not mistake me for being gullible, Zenith. I intend to find out what the Sith planted in his head if I so have to rip it off. For now I let him think he impresses me with his talk and I Force-prod his mind for triggers and hidden conditioning while his guard is down." Her brow formed a small frown. "But if you don't approve of my methods.." Did she actually care if he approved? He threw up his hands in defeat.

"I'm.. sorry." he sighed. "Not my place to question you. Just.. be careful." He rather not meet her eyes right now. He had probably revealed too much already to a keen mind such as hers. He hastened his steps to get ahead of her and scout.

[The Defender, Voss]
"You wanted a word, Zenith?" Her yellow eyes fixated him. Her demanding way of looking at him always made him avoid any longer conversations with kept it short, practical and to the point. Sometimes he sought her advice. She listened and then gave him her thoughts. It was easy that way. But any other conversation with her was really difficult to have. It was either exchange of relevant information or him reporting to her. At first he had been thankful for that. She gave him space and only bothered him when necessary. Over time as they were almost inseparable in the field he struggled to get to know her. She was always very distant and very intense at the same time. It made him nervous and feel things he didn't know how to deal with. Even if their time together often passed in silence there was no one he would rather be in company with.

"I wanted to let you know I enjoy working with you. Not often my comrades live this long." He was not very good at this.

"I'm glad to be an exception to that particular rule."

"Yeah, me too.." he was not prepared for her to humor him. "Anyway I just wanted to say.." I love you. "I trust you." He reached out his hand towards her and she took it. Her hand was cool and soft and held his firmly as to say 'I know'. She never looked away and he started to feel lost, grasping for something to say. "Anyway I better stick around.. Keep you alive." A hint of a smile played over her face.

"It means a lot coming from you. I know you don't take trust lightly. I think we are alike in that way." She looked down at their grip and placed her other hand on top of his. "It may not seem like it but I hold your company in the highest regard." She looked up again. What was she trying to say? He almost lost himself in her eyes and had no idea how much time had passed when she finally spoke again. "I trust you." It seemed like she had a lot more to say but all she could manage was sharp exhale. With a last squeeze of his hand she let go. Like they had sealed a pact she turned and hastily left the room.