Over the next several weeks, Leia began to spend an increasing amount of her alone time sitting in the captain's chair on the Millennium Falcon. Luke soon realized this was going on, but didn't approach his sister about it right away. He knew she needed space, and delayed intruding upon her quiet time as long as he could. The night he decided to join her on the Falcon, Luke thought Leia was asleep when he first stepped aboard.
He was about to turn and go when Leia spoke softly. "You don't have to leave, I'm awake."
Luke approached and took a seat in the co-pilot's chair. "I've been worried about you," he said without preface.
Leia sighed. "I know, I'm sorry. I've had so much on my mind. The time alone here does me good."
"You look so tired," Luke said gently. "Have you been getting any rest?"
"Yes, of course," Leia answered briskly, clearly annoyed at his question. "I'm fine, really. You worry too much, Luke."
"I suppose I do," he said with a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "You know you can always talk to me. What's going on?"
"I need the time to myself, that's all. You had years to yourself while you were away. I'm not allowed a few days?"
"You are," Luke answered stiffly, hurt by her comment about his time away. "If you change your mind about telling me what's wrong, you can let me know. Goodnight, Leia." Luke rose from the chair and began to walk away. Leia called out to him almost immediately.
"No, please stay. I have so many regrets already, I don't need another. Please, Luke. I'm sorry."
Luke sat down again and waited for his sister to speak. She hesitated a moment or two longer, still unsure of how to express what was on her mind. "Have you been able to forgive yourself for failing with my son's Jedi training? Is that why you've come back now?"
Luke was taken aback by the questions. He hadn't expected their discussion to center on himself. Nonetheless, his voice was firm as he answered. "Yes, I have. As far as that's possible, anyway. I think if I hadn't, I wouldn't have been able to train you. Why do you ask?"
"I need you to tell me how you were able to forgive yourself. I can't keep carrying all this guilt around. It's always there. When I'm awake I have to make myself focus on things I need to do. When I sleep, I dream about it, too. I wonder if he blames me for what happened... If he hates me for it."
Luke noticed that Leia avoided saying Han's name, and he followed suit. "Leia, he loved you, you know that. What happened isn't your fault. You can't let this tear you apart. He wouldn't want that, either."
"I know." Leia paused to brush a pair of sudden, unwelcome tears from her face. "I only wish there were some way I could tell him I'm sorry. I miss him... I miss him so much. I've been through so much loss already in my life. This feels so different than most of it. I don't know how to get myself through it. Tell me what I'm supposed to do."
Leia sounded so sad, so unsure of what to do, that tears sprang to Luke's eyes. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but mostly I think you need time. Maybe not so much time to yourself... I think I made a mistake, going away. By the time I realized it, it had been long enough that I was too ashamed to come back without a compelling reason. You're surrounded by people here. Try to use that to your advantage. It might help."
"It might. I will try. I'm glad you're here, Luke. I know I've been keeping you away, and I'm sorry."
"I understand, Leia. I'm glad you asked for my advice, I hope it helps."
"I hope so. I just wish I could tell him how sorry I am, and how I miss him. That's so silly."
"No it isn't. It isn't at all. I know something you can try that might help with that."
Leia gave her brother a puzzled look. "What?"
"I can't make any promises, since... since he wasn't a Jedi. But, he was and would still be a source of light-side energy. So maybe, if you tried, you could reach out that way. You'd be able to talk to him and everything, I'd say, if his spirit energy is strong enough."
For the first time in days, Leia smiled. "Really, I don't think it could be otherwise. Do you need to show me how, or..."
"No, I think if you can concentrate hard enough, be very focused, it should give you a good chance. It might not work, but it would be worth the effort. Would you like me to go, so you can give it a try?"
Leia shook her head slightly. "Not now. It's getting late, I am tired. It's cold out here again tonight, even when I keep the hatches closed. I think I'll come inside."
"Good, let's go." They both stood and quickly exited the Falcon. As they walked the short distance back to headquarters, Luke took his sister's hand, sensing she still needed some comfort after their earlier discussion.
"How long had you been out here before I came? Your hands are freezing!"
"Too long, I know, "Leia answered quickly, heading off her brother's displeasure. "It will be nice to be in my own quarters tonight. While I'm out here, I get lost in thought... I lose all track of time. I don't mean to."
"I know. A good night's sleep is what we both need. If it turns out you can't sleep, or you have a bad dream, I'm just down the hall. You can always wake me, I'd keep you company."
"Luke, I'm not a child. I'm sure I'll be fine." Even as Leia said these words, Luke felt her squeeze his hand lightly. He knew it was meant as thanks for his offer, and he smiled to himself. They'd reached the entrance to headquarters, and the siblings hugged each other goodnight briefly before retiring to their rooms. Luke was worn out, but satisfied. He was happy that he'd been able to offer his twin some comfort, rather than letting her carry her guilt and pain alone any longer.
Leia woke from her sleep a couple of hours later. She didn't call out for anyone, nor was she crying. The sadness in her eyes was clear. She quietly got out of bed, wrapping herself in the extra blanket that was on the end of the bed. Leia was standing at her room's only window when she heard the door slide open. She didn't turn toward the sound as she spoke.
"I thought I told you you didn't have to treat me like a child." Leia's voice was quiet, lacking anger. Instead, she sounded disappointed that she found herself in the exact situation she had hoped to avoid.
"You did." Luke stated calmly. "If you really want me to go, I will. I'd rather stay." Luke still stood in the doorway, awaiting permission to step inside.
"You can come in. My dream wasn't as bad as usual. I'm fine, really."
Luke decided it was best not to argue the point as he reached his sister's side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "If you say so," he whispered. "What was the dream about?"
Leia realized her brother was asking her the question to give her the chance to explain in her own way. He already knew what she had dreamed about. Leia hesitated to answer, already feeling the tears ready to spring to her eyes. Crying would do no good, and she felt slightly angry at herself.
"I dreamed that when I try to use my Force power to reach out to him, it won't work. There are things I need to ask him, so I can move on from this. What happens if I don't get the answers I need?"
"You go on anyway." Luke answered immediately. "I know you've been grieving so deeply, and I'm sorry. We both have our regrets. All we can do now is try to keep going, to do the things that will make things turn out as well as they can. Maybe, just for yourself... It might help if you can try to say Han's name sometimes."
Leia pulled away from her brother and turned from the window, the tears she had been fighting beginning to fall. "No," she answered in a choked whisper."No, it wouldn't."
"Why not?"
"It makes everything feel just as awful as it did that day. I think about all the things I should have said that I didn't. I'll always have to wonder if he would have come back here. Maybe we could have tried to start again." Leia fell silent and quickly wiped the tears from her face. She still wouldn't look Luke in the eye. It was clear she was embarrassed to cry, even in front of her twin.
"Please, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm trying to move on from this, not dwell on it. If I'm able to talk to him, that's what will help. This can finally be over."
"Leia, you know better than that. Han was my friend, the best friend I've ever had. He was so much like a brother, even before we were in-laws. But I don't fool myself into thinking that our pain over his death is the same. He was your husband, you had a child together. No matter how Ben turned out, his path was his choice. It makes me sad that you and Han didn't find comfort in each other. I know you loved him."
"Yes, very much. I know he still felt the same, I'm grateful for that." At last, Leia looked her brother in the eye. "I'm glad you came to check on me, too. Even after I told you not to." Leia smiled briefly at her twin, a gesture he returned.
"Do you think you can go back to sleep now? It's still hours until daylight."
"Yes, I can. Do you think I can try reaching out to him in the morning? I'm a little scared, but mostly eager to try."
"If you're sure you're ready, you can give it a try. Get some more sleep. I'll see you in a few hours."
As it turned out, Leia's attempt at reaching out to Han had to be delayed until late the next day. Most of it was taken up by her usual duties of command. By dusk, the day's work was done, and Leia set off on a solitary walk to focus on her next task. In a short time, Leia was lost in memories of happier days. The first years of her marriage to Han had been so good. Ben had come along early on, but they'd had no regrets about that. They had been a happy family, content to spend most of their time with only each other. The joys of that time were what Leia missed most... That and the affectionate person Han had become. It hadn't been an easy thing for him. He'd never overdone it, but being a family man had brought out that quality in him. Sudden tears came to Leia's eyes as she thought of this, and she couldn't help allowing a few of them to fall.
"Hey, you know I could never stand it when you cried."
Leia quickly turned toward the sound, which had come from behind her. She gasped as she saw Han standing there... despite his being a spirit, his presence was strong and unmistakable. Leia took a few steps closer, but couldn't find any words.
"Of all the times you pick to get quiet on me. I'm not sure how this stuff works... how long I can stay. So maybe we'd better get on with it, huh?"
Leia couldn't hold back a small laugh at this. Somehow she was surprised that Han was still so much as she had known him in life.
"I suppose we should. I've missed you... I'm so sorry, I feel so responsible for your not being alive to be here with me now."
"You've always taken too much of the blame, you know that? Our son is responsible for his own actions. I'm sorry too, I would have come back... Maybe things would have worked out."
"Maybe. I wish we could have found out."
"Me too. I'm glad Luke finally came home. The kid is pretty proud of you because of the whole Jedi thing, you know."
Leia smiled brightly for the first time in too long. "Yes, I do. At first I didn't know if I'd complete all the training. I... I was afraid of the lightsaber at the beginning. I kept thinking..."
"I know. But you did great. I think you did the right thing. I'm proud of you, too."
Leia was so surprised by this statement that she could make no reply. Han flashed his crooked smile at her. "Gotcha," he said with obvious pride.
"Yes, you did," Leia said softly after another moment. "I know you can't stay, but maybe you can keep an eye on us around here."
"Been doin' nothin' else, really. Got all the time I need for it."
"Stop that. I wasn't trying to be funny," Leia said with a frown.
"Me, either. What else would I be doin'? You've gotta try goin' a little easier on yourself. I don't blame you for anything. You remember that."
"I will." Leia knew the time had come for them to part, and found she didn't know what else to say. When the silence stretched out, Han felt he had to fill it.
"Tell Luke I said thanks for lookin' out for you. If you need me... I'm around."
"Okay," Leia whispered, her voice quivering. She hesitated another second or two, willing herself not to cry before she spoke again. "I love you."
"I know." With that, Han disappeared. Leia stayed where she was for a while longer, needing the time to herself. She knew it may take her some time to take all of Han's words to heart... Forgiving herself wasn't going to be easy. But her heart was much more at peace. She had the answers she'd been hoping for. That was enough.
There were several weeks of relative quiet at the Resistance base. Everyone settled into routine. Rey and Luke found ways to fill their time as much as everyone else. The base became a comfortable place... It was safe to say it felt like home. Luke was content to be surrounded by almost everyone he considered family. Rey, for her part, was secretly very happy to feel like she finally belonged to a family at all.
Therefore, Luke was saddened and angered on the afternoon he first sensed his nephew's presence nearing the Resistance installation. Luke could only guess at how soon Ben may arrive. It didn't take long for him to decide that he needed to share his realization with his sister. Luke could barely bide his time until the evening when the day's work was done. He took his sister aside at his very first opportunity.
"Leia, your son is on his way here," Luke said without preface. Despite the abrupt statement, Leia showed no surprise.
"Are you sure?" Leia's voice was calm, but sadness settled into her eyes.
"Yes, I'm sure. We can both imagine what he's on his way here to do. Are you ready for that?"
"As ready as I can be. My place is here, with you. I'm not afraid of him."
"I know you aren't. He's still so angry... I don't think he's coming here because of you. It's me. I shouldn't have stayed here this long."
"Luke, I wouldn't have wanted you to be anywhere else. At least we can face whatever might happen together."
Luke nodded in agreement, but said nothing. He was nervous and worried about what was coming. Since retreat was not the answer, all they could do was wait.
Very soon after the conclusion of the discussion with her brother, Leia called together the entire population of the military base. Due to the weeks of inactivity and the fact that a gathering of the entire staff was so rare, tension immediately began to grow.
"I've called you all together to make you aware that my son is on his way here. I can't be sure yet what exactly that will mean for all of us. We have to be prepared to defend the base as well as we can, since he could also be bringing Stormtroopers with him. Under the circumstances, I thought it may be wiser if I let another of the commanders take charge temporarily. After meeting with them, I've been assured they have faith in my ability to remain in command."
Leia glanced around the room to watch the reaction of those assembled. She was satisfied to see trust and confidence in their eyes. "His arrival is imminent, so we will be on highest alert for the next day or two. Please bring any questions or concerns to me directly. Thank you all for your attention. You're dismissed."
The large group broke apart surprisingly fast. Only Luke, Rey and Chewbacca lingered in the room. Luke spoke first, but was obviously hesitant.
"Leia, are you sure you wouldn't rather I left for a while? I don't want to put the Resistance effort in such danger. Once it was safe again, I could come back."
"Ben could just as easily be coming here to take some kind of vengeance on me. I'm not going anywhere, and neither should you." Rey and Chewie both voiced their objections as well, and Luke knew it was pointless to argue.
"All right. I'll help where I can. He'll be here soon. "
"I know. We'll be ready. Everyone here is very good at what they do."
Rey spoke up next, a sudden thought occurring to her. "Do you think I should take the Falcon away from here? He's probably coming to confront you both, but I'd hate to see him damage the ship just because he can."
Leia smiled slightly, but shook her head. "I think he'll be concerned with us, yes, not the ship. Thank you for thinking of it, I did too. Han would be happy you asked."
"I know." Sudden tears came to Rey's eyes, which she forced away. "I'll do anything I can to help, too."
The small group broke up at this point, heading in different directions to find the place they could be most useful. Luke ended up out in the landing area with one of the X-Wing pilots, who had already spent days trying to correct a problem with his ship. This made Luke feel useful, which he welcomed.
Rey sought out some of the base staff who were discussing a watch schedule. The young woman was so attentive to their conversation, and obviously eager to help, that the watch commander offered her the chance to join the overnight watch shift. It was necessary for her to have a quick lesson in how to use the particular weapon each of the security staff was required to carry. Since her on-duty time wouldn't begin for several hours, Rey drifted back to where Leia had remained, watching one of the many display screens. The older woman's face was so intense, it seemed a shame to speak and shatter the quiet. But Leia also seemed very sad. So sad that Rey couldn't help it. She had to say something... even if it didn't make either of them feel better.
"Thanks for making me feel so welcome to stay. I know I don't fit in here... except with you and your brother. This is all so new to me. I've never had a real family... I mean, I did, but I don't remember them."
Leia smiled slightly to ease Rey's obvious case of nerves. "We're happy to have you," she whispered. "I think you belong here."
Rey smiled, obviously pleased. "I'm glad I can help. Aren't you afraid of what might happen?"
"For the danger the base may be in, yes. For myself, no I'm not. I'm as prepared as I can be."
"It must be nice to be so sure of yourself. I've been learning so many new things, everything is so strange to me. I don't feel sure of anything."
"There is a place for everyone here. You just haven't found yours yet. Give it a little more time."
"I'm trying. I'm glad that I was able to bring Luke home to you, at least. He seems happy to be here. When I got to the top of that mountain and he saw me there, he wondered who I was, but after that... His thoughts were of you, how much he missed you."
"There were times I wondered if he missed any of us at all." Leia answered in a tone that made it clear she hadn't confided this to anyone before. "I know that was unfair of me... Luke was doing what he thought was best by going away. It wasn't fair to be upset at him for it. But it took me time to accept it, since we'd only known we were siblings for such a short time. Compared to what it should have been, at least."
"You and Luke are so close, I thought you had grown up together. Why didn't you?"
"Our mother died when we were born, and our father had been lost to the Dark Side, so it was decided that for our safety we'd be raised apart. I was adopted by a wonderful family. Luke was raised by an aunt and uncle of ours, neither of whom I ever met. Luke and I didn't meet until we were grown."
"Oh... Maybe that's part of why you're so close now. Trying to catch up."
"Yes, I think so. I'm happy for the time we've had... as brief as it's been. Unless he has a very good reason, I don't think Luke will leave again."
"I hope you're right," Rey said quietly. The pair looked up as Luke came down the staircase and walked directly to them. Leia spoke before her brother could.
"He's here already." This was a statement, not a question, so Luke chose not to speak. He saw sadness and a touch of anger in his sister's eyes, but no fear. Luke was so proud to see that Leia wasn't frightened. Mostly because Luke was afraid of his nephew, and what he might be here to do. This left Luke with a deep sense of shame he didn't dare speak of. After all these years, he had expected to feel differently.
Without further discussion, Leia went up the staircase to meet her son in the landing area. If it was possible, she wanted to prevent him from entering the command center and putting anyone else in unnecessary danger. She watched intently as he disembarked from his ship, and was surprised to see he was alone. She was not, however, surprised to see him wearing his mask.
Leia grew tense as her son stood before her, not speaking yet. It was clear he was studying her, even though she couldn't see his eyes. He was taking in every detail. At last he spoke.
"Well, Mother... It looks like my uncle finally found himself a pupil who'd follow his lead. I can't imagine you taking orders. My mother, a Jedi." He laughed derisively, then paused, waiting to hear what reply his mother would make.
"I wasn't taking orders, I was taking instruction. I chose to start the training, to be ready for things just like this. I'm not afraid of you. My son is still inside you, somewhere."
"All these years I thought you were the one with sense. At least my uncle knows enough to be afraid of me. Of course, I know you're out here to delay my finding him. I'm tired of waiting."
Without warning, Ben sent his mother flying through the air, setting her on a collision course with a nearby X-Wing. Leia was only able to utter a brief scream before her head struck the side of the glass canopy. She crumpled to the ground, already unconscious and bleeding heavily from the wound to her head.
His obstacle now removed, Ben advanced toward the entrance to the base without the least backward glance. Luke was already coming up the staircase as Ben approached. The two guards on duty were torn for just a moment, deciding where the greater crisis lay. But they had their orders, and moved to block the unwelcome visitor from entering the base. Luke spoke from just behind them.
"Don't worry, he's here for me. I won't let him go inside. Please, take care of the General. She's badly hurt."
The pair hurried off to tend to their superior officer. Luke came quickly up the last couple of steps, so he stood face to face with his nephew. Without the least greeting, each of them drew their lightsaber. Both blades came to life in the same instant. Luke wanted to look over his shoulder as he heard Leia being carried inside, but he couldn't allow his concentration to be broken.
"I've waited a long time for this day." Ben said this in a voice that was quiet but perfectly clear. "Now that I've finished my training, I've thought of nothing but besting my former master."
"I have no doubt. Why didn't you come straight for me? You could have left your mother out of this!"
"And miss my chance to make you angry enough to give me a worthy opponent? I don't think so. Anything I can do to hurt you is still less than you deserve!"
Ben took his opening stance and raised his blade, striking out at his uncle in such rapid fury that Luke was immediately on the defensive. In moments they were both fully engaged in battle. There was much thrust and parry on both sides, the advantage in the struggle shifting several times. Luke succeeded in keeping his anger at bay, which gave him greater ability to focus than his nephew.
Ben, for his part, was driven almost entirely by his hatred. He had expected his rage to lessen after the death of his father, but it had only grown. He spent much time brooding over memories of all the people who had cast him away or let him down. His father, his mother... but especially his uncle. Ben had always seen in him the same weakness his own father had possessed. He had never been able to respect Luke as a Jedi Master. Betraying him and leaving his guidance behind hadn't been difficult or painful. Now, at last, Luke would meet with his proper reward...
The instant Ben had become distracted, Luke took his chance to strike. He knew killing his nephew would actually be wise. But vengeance belonged to the darkness. As much as he might wish to take it, he couldn't. If only for his sister's sake. So, he struck Ben in the shoulder of his saber arm, rendering him unable to fight on. Luke felt the seething anger of his nephew. The younger man turned off his lightsaber, cast it aside, and simply stood there.
'Go on, kill me,' Ben taunted Luke mentally. 'You can kill an unarmed man, can't you? I think even you can do that.'
"I could, but I won't. I refuse to kill my sister's child.'
'You're just as weak as you ever were. Only a fool would let someone they've defeated in battle get away with their life!'
'If that's really what you think, my masters clearly taught me better than I taught you. It was already a disadvantage that I was afraid of your coming here. I won't give in to the Dark Side as you have, with aggression and hatred driving me. I don't want to give up on you. Neither does your mother. She probably never will. I have to accept that I've failed and go on. You've chosen your own way."
'One day, I will defeat you, Master...' This last word carried with it pure contempt, even though it hadn't been spoken aloud. Ben didn't want to walk away just yet... He wanted to inflict more pain... But he was so tired, and bleeding. Luke's thoughts were already turning to his sister. There would be no fun in anything more.
"You may just do that, one day," Luke said calmly, still somewhat out of breath from the battle. "But that day isn't today. Goodbye, Ben." Luke switched his saber off, returning it to his belt.
Luke turned to go inside, all thoughts turning to Leia. His senses were no less keen because of that, and he knew Ben would start to follow him. Without turning around, and barely raising a hand, Luke pushed his nephew away, casting him almost all the way back to the entrance of his ship where it sat, meters away. When the motion stopped and Ben hit the ground, he half-landed on his badly injured shoulder. He cried out more with anger than pain as he stood. He instantly felt the energy around him, keeping him where he was. He couldn't go forward. Not even a single step. His only choice was to retreat to his ship and depart.
Luke approached the medical center hesitantly, not wanting to see the state Leia might be in. This was actually what he had been most afraid of. That harm would come to her, not himself. He was relieved to see the head physician step out to speak to him as soon as he approached.
"Your sister is still unconscious, but after such a head injury as she has, that's normal. She should come around shortly if you'd like to sit with her and wait. Her injury has been tended to, and I'll be watching over her myself. Would you like to wait at her bedside?"
"Yes, please." Luke's voice was faint. His mouth was suddenly dry, and he felt the exhaustion creeping in. But he couldn't think of himself until he was sure Leia would be all right. As they neared the bed Leia was in, Luke was afraid to look. When he did, though, he was relieved. He couldn't see anything was wrong... Leia seemed to be sleeping, that was all. Luke quickly took a seat in the chair beside the bed. He took Leia's hand, his eyes fixed intently on her face.
"I"ll leave you for a few minutes. If she doesn't show signs of coming around very soon, we'll have something to be concerned about."
"I understand." Luke said softly before the doctor departed. It was so quiet here, which was jarring after all the physical and mental noise of only moments ago. At the sound of footsteps behind him, Luke didn't turn around, not even when Rey spoke his name. She took a hesitant step or two closer.
"I'd like to wait here with you... If that's okay. If you'd like me to go..."
"No, stay. Leia will be happy to see you too, when she wakes up. She will, soon."
Rey knew Luke said this in part to convince himself. She only nodded, moving the last steps closer to stand beside Luke. The quiet settled over them again. Quiet they both needed. Now, all they could do was wait.
It was several hours later, well after midnight, that Leia showed signs of emerging from unconsciousness. Her eyes opened, but for long seconds she didn't move or speak. Luke held tighter to his sister's hand and called her name. Rey quietly left Leia's bedside to cross the room and alert the doctor that Leia's condition had changed.
"I'm so cold," Leia said in a hoarse whisper. "Why is it so cold?" Luke was puzzled by what Leia had said, but was relieved she was awake and talking. Leia's teeth chattered slightly as she tried to shift herself into a sitting position. Luke rested his hands on her shoulders to keep her still.
"Wait just a few minutes. The doctor needs to look you over first."
"Why, what happened? Luke, tell me what happened."
"I will. After the doctor checks you out, okay?" Dr. Kalonia approached and gave a small smile,trying to put everyone at ease.
"It's good to see you awake. How do you feel?"
"Cold," Leia said as she suddenly shivered. "My head hurts. What happened?"
"You've been unconscious for hours now. I'll be finished here as soon as I can, and I'll bring you some extra blankets, all right?"
"Yes, fine." Leia fell silent as the doctor checked her over. After long, tense moments, she announced that Leia's vital signs were all normal, and she showed no serious after-effects from her hours of unconsciousness.
"Your headache should pass soon. If it doesn't, I want you to let me know. Feel free to sit up, and talk things over if you like. No getting out of bed yet, though. Not until I say it's all right."
"Okay," Leia agreed grudgingly. Slowly and with some pain, Leia sat up. She gave the doctor a brief smile of thanks, but that was driven away by another intense shiver. Leia wrapped her arms around herself. "I don't know why I'm so cold." She sounded annoyed, but a little afraid as well.
"Give yourself a little time, it should pass." The doctor spoke softly, but with concern. "I'll be right back with those blankets for you."
A few moments later, after Leia was covered with two extra blankets, she asked Luke to tell her exactly how she'd gotten hurt. Rey settled on the edge of Leia's bed to listen, even though she had already heard what had happened.
"Ben came here looking for me," Luke began, his voice calm, but carrying a clear note of sadness. "You went out to meet his ship when he arrived, and he... He used his Force power to throw you against the side of one of the X-Wings outside. The back of your head hit the glass. You were bleeding, and got knocked out."
Leia sat quietly, taking in all that her brother had said. When she did speak after a moment or two, her voice was quiet, but filled with worry.
"Where is he now? Did he hurt you?" Leia looked her brother up and down, fearing there was some sign of injury she had missed.
"No, I'm fine. I promise. I don't know where he is now. I injured him, only to make him unable to continue our lightsaber duel. He took off again, I don't know where to."
"Okay, I understand." With just these three words, Leia's sense of despair was painfully clear.
"I do," Rey spoke up suddenly. "I know where he is."
Luke and Leia gazed at Rey with only slight surprise. The younger woman went on quietly. "He's keeping his ship nearby... Like he's waiting, so he can sense what happens."
"You mean, he's waiting to see what happens to me. He's not sure how badly he's hurt me." Leia sounded sad, somewhat angry and confused all at once.
"I guess so. I'm sorry, I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want you to keep wondering about him."
"None of this is your fault, Rey," Luke said gently. "Either Ben will sense what's happening here and leave, or he'll come back to find out. It's an interesting time for his Force sense to fail him."
"Maybe seriously injuring a member of your family can cause that." Leia said firmly, not trying to hide her bitterness. "It's a shame he didn't lose most of his power when he killed his father, then." Angry tears stood in Leia's eyes, but she wouldn't allow herself the luxury of letting them fall.
"Leia, you need to think about yourself right now, not Ben. I know it's hard, but you'll feel better once you're up and about. Upsetting yourself will only delay your recovery."
"I know, you're right. I'm feeling much warmer now, and getting sleepy. I was out so long I don't know how I can be tired. You should both go get some rest. Come back and see me after daybreak. I'll be fine, really."
Luke and Rey both objected to this and stayed where they were. Soon enough, all three of them were resting, though Luke's sleep was more of a doze as he worried about his nephew's possible return. After a time, he gave up on the idea of sleep and found his way outside, where he studied the horizon. Luke found he had really expected to see Ben's ship approaching again. When it wasn't, Luke sighed with relief.
Ben was indeed lingering near the planet of D'Qar, growing increasingly frustrated that he had no sense of what was going on on the planet's surface. He had reached out several times with every bit of his power, but got nothing in return. This combined with his as yet untreated injury left him on the edge of seething fury.
He hadn't gone to the Resistance base meaning to do any harm to his mother. No one would believe that, even if there were ever an opportunity to say it out loud. When he had arrived and seen her waiting for him, he hadn't been surprised. She was the commanding officer, it was her job. What had surprised him was not only the lightsaber in plain view on her belt. It was her anger at him for having killed his father. Somehow, he had expected her to be almost grateful. Glad to be free of a burden she no longer wanted. His parents had been apart so long, he'd sensed nothing like love left between them. Therefore, the depth of her grief had overwhelmed all else.
He hadn't meant to injure her so badly, only to push her away, make it clear he wasn't there for discussion. His anger had sent his Force power out of control, despite his attempt to contain it. He'd never been so grateful to be wearing his mask. At least no one could see the honest shock on his face. He had recovered quickly enough, his uncle hadn't known he was shaken. While his anger at his uncle was as strong as ever, Ben knew then that he couldn't kill him as he'd come to do. All that would do was add to his mother's grief...He couldn't bear the thought of that.
The regret and sadness had only made Ben angrier. He saw anger as strength, but sadness and regret were signs of weakness, things he was trying so hard to cast away. His mother had always been the one person he'd had some regard for. He thought it would fade, after all these years. She'd always been the strong one, and that he could admire. He hadn't wanted to go away to study the Jedi way with his uncle, not even for one day. But, it had been his mother's wish, and he couldn't deny her. He had known even then that she had been afraid of the path he was walking down. He'd never felt fear in her before... and hadn't again until he'd laid eyes on her today. Raw, obvious fear of what he had come there to do. Yet... Ben had felt her love, too. He had no idea how she could still love him after so much time apart. After everything he'd done. It made no sense to him at all.
"She's your mother, Ben. She can't help lovin' you, no matter what you might do." At the sound of his father's voice, Ben didn't turn around. Looking into his eyes would be too hard. "She's doin' okay now. If you really try goin' back there, your uncle will have a thing or two to say about that."
"I know," Ben said quietly, sounding sad rather than angry. "You can... appear to her too, can't you? If you do, you can tell her I'm sorry."
"I could, but I won't." Han's voice was equally quiet, but quiet was good. When he was angry, that was when he got loud. At last, Ben had the courage to turn and meet his father's eyes.
"Why not? She'd be happy to see you. You could tell her anything you wanted." Ben knew he sounded like a little kid whining to get his way, but he couldn't seem to help it. He was tired, in pain physically, and had no strength left for emotion of any kind.
"You owe her the apology. When you get the chance, give it to her yourself. "
Ben's expression suddenly hardened. "Is that what you've come here for? To get me to apologize to you, too? "
"No way, I'm not that stupid. You did what you did on purpose and you know it. You aren't sorry, and you can't take it back now."
"I would... I didn't know Mother cared so much, that she still loved you. I'd take it back, to make her happy."
Han laughed bitterly, more to himself than out loud. "Yeah well, it's too late for that, ain't it? I came to tell you your mother is all right. She'd want you to know. That's it."
Ben only nodded right before his father's presence departed. In the next several moments, Ben resolved to return to the Resistance base. He knew his Uncle Luke was likely to prevent him from seeing his mother. He had to try.
Ben ended up delaying his return to the Resistance base as long as he could. He knew his presence wouldn't be welcome, and he dreaded having to give his mother the apology she was owed. Finally, Ben was in too much physical pain to delay his return to the surface of D'Qar any knew the base had its own medical staff, and felt sure his mother would see that he received proper treatment.
Once his ship had touched down on the planet's surface, it was a bit of a struggle for Ben to prepare to enter the Resistance base again. Removing his lightsaber from his belt was easy enough. Removing his gloves, and especially his mask, was another matter. By the time all three tasks were accomplished, Ben had broken out in a light sweat. Despite his pain, Ben kept his expression neutral. He knew if he didn't get treatment soon, his wound would surely become infected. He sighed at the thought, and knew the time had come to emerge from his ship. As soon as the hatch was open enough to see in front of him, Ben saw his mother standing there.
She didn't say anything, or take even one step closer as he approached her. Her eyes were the only thing that gave Ben a clue to his mother's emotions. Sadness was the greatest of these. It washed over Ben like a sudden flood. There had to be something he could say now... The apology was for later. But as he opened his mouth to speak, his mother hushed him quickly.
"Not now," she said in a whisper. "Come inside. You need to see the doctor first."
Ben went along quietly for the time being. He was eager to get his treatment over with and get on with his real purpose in returning. His visit with the doctor wasn't as brief as he might have liked, but Ben waited it out as patiently as he could. His pain made him more willing to go along with everything the doctor asked of him. After a couple of hours, the treatment concluded.
Ben stepped out of the medical wing expecting to have to go in search of his mother. Instead, he found her waiting as soon as he emerged. He was surprised, and didn't try to hide it.
"You've been waiting here all this time?"
"Of course. I know you came back to talk to me. Feeling better?"
"Yes. I came to tell you I'm... I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to."
"I know. It's nice to hear you say it. I appreciate that." Ben sensed that his mother wanted to say more, but was keeping things brief because she realized he was uncomfortable. He knew he could take his leave right now if he wished.
"Your uncle knew you'd be coming back here, if that's what you're worried about. If he'd wanted to keep you away from me, he would have."
"I'm sure he would," Ben scowled, then sighed. "I only came here to talk to you. Is there somewhere we can talk in private?"
"Yes. Follow me."
Once mother and son were sitting alone in her quarters with the door closed, conversation didn't begin right away. The silence that fell was tense and awkward. Leia was biding her time, giving Ben every opportunity to start their conversation in his own way. As the moments ticked by, she could take it no longer.
"Ask me whatever it is you're trying not to ask, please. I know it's strange being here, I'm nervous too. But we won't get anywhere if you don't talk. What is it?"
"There isn't anything I need to ask you. I think you know as well as I do that we'll probably never see each other again. We said our goodbyes to each other years ago when you sent me away. Saying it now would be pointless."
Leia's expression hardened at the tone of her son's voice. This wasn't to be a conversation as much as a speech. While this moment had been sure to come at some point, Leia found herself unprepared for it. She resolved to simply listen... Nothing she said would matter to Ben. It was almost as though he were talking to himself and had forgotten she was there.
"I almost didn't come back here. I'm glad you accepted my apology. Your brother could take a lesson in forgiveness from you. I think if I asked, you'd forgive me anything."
Ben's voice held a clear patronizing note, and Leia couldn't let that pass. "Not anything. You're smarter than that. Don't ask me to forgive you for that. I'll never grant you that. Never."
To his credit, Ben knew instantly that he'd overstepped his bounds, and he rose to go. Once he reached the door, Ben turned to face his mother again. "There is something your brother has kept from you for years. Something you deserve to know. Ask him. He's keeping the secret because he's afraid, as usual."
Ben left without a goodbye, as promised. Leia wondered for an instant if her son was lying, just trying to cause trouble. She quickly dismissed this idea, since she doubted he'd set anything in motion that might hurt her more. Rather than worrying or brooding over her son's words, Leia resolved to go and ask Luke about it right away. Whatever it was couldn't be worse than what they'd all been through already. If there were anyone Luke would share anything with, Leia trusted that person was herself.
When Leia approached the door to her brother's quarters, she expected to find it locked. Instead, the door slid aside as soon as she got near enough. She stepped inside, not speaking at first. Though the day outside was bright, Luke's room was dark. The windows were covered to keep out the light, and no interior lights were on. Luke sat at the small table off to one side. He looked up as Leia entered, but didn't speak either. After another moment or two, Leia could stay silent no longer.
"Ben just left. He won't be coming back. He said there was something I needed to ask you. Something you've been keeping from me. Was he telling the truth?"
Luke sighed heavily before making a reply so quiet it could barely be heard. "Yes. I'm surprised he waited so long to push me into telling someone. I knew he would, given a chance. Come, sit down. I'll try my best to explain."
Leia did as her brother asked without the least hesitation, taking a seat in the only other chair at the little table. When she looked into her brother's face, the greatest of the emotions she saw there was fear. There was also some sadness, and this made her pause a moment. Her voice when she spoke again was gentle, but hesitant.
"Luke, what is it? Please tell me. I'm here to listen to anything you're willing to share. I'm not afraid to hear it."
At this, Luke managed a small, sad smile. "No, you wouldn't be, would you? I'm grateful for that. I've wanted to tell you since I came back, but there were so many other things going on. I've kept this secret for so long, it was always easier to tell myself there would be time for the truth later."
After this, Luke was silent for a long time. Leia waited, not wanting to break the quiet her brother clearly needed for the moment. He sat without looking up. Leia sensed her twin's wish to blend into the darkness of the room and disappear. At last, he looked up and spoke, his first words coming out in a rush before he lost his nerve.
"Leia, Rey is my daughter."
Leia made no attempt to keep the surprise from her face. She knew whatever Luke had been hiding must be important, but this was not what she had expected. This was good news... wasn't it? She couldn't understand why her brother would have kept this to himself so long.
The confusion in Leia's face was plain, and Luke sighed again. "I know I should have told you before. I should have told her before now, too. She has no idea who I am. She has no memory of me, and I've kept my thoughts closed to her."
"Why? We've all been here for months. Why haven't you told her? When she was small it was too dangerous for her to know, I understand that. You can't use that excuse anymore, Luke."
"I know that, Leia. Don't you think I know that? The last time I saw her before that day on the mountain, she was a tiny baby. She and her mother left, because it was safer to be away from me. Rey's mother didn't want to go, but she understood why we couldn't stay together as a family. I didn't know until much later that Rey's mother had died. I had no idea whether Rey had been fortunate enough to be raised by someone else, or if she'd had to survive on her own. Once I had that answer, I felt so guilty. What if she blames me for all of it, the way her life has gone? It really isn't less than I'd deserve."
Leia considered her reply briefly before she made it. "Well, you knew the danger she'd be in if you stayed together as a family. I understand better than anyone how hard it must have been to send them both away. You aren't to blame for whatever happened to her mother, are you?"
"The Jedi aren't supposed to have families... It's one of the unwritten rules. I knew I was foolish, but it was so lonely. I'd had to leave so much behind already. I made a choice, even though I knew the risks. I always loved them both... and I do now. I had to keep them safe, so I didn't know what to do except send them away. To answer your question, no, I wasn't to blame for Rey's mother dying. She got very sick. Rey was only about six or seven then. She must have been so frightened. I wasn't there."
"You had a good reason for that, is here now, isn't that the most important thing? She deserves to know who you are... Who we are. If you don't tell her, I will. Not to spite you, or make things harder. She has a right to know. All she wants is a family, and we've been right here all this time. She's waited long enough."
"You're right... I know you're right, Leia. I'm so frightened, I don't want the first emotion my daughter feels for me to be hatred. I didn't want her to grow up without me, but it had to be. What if she doesn't listen, doesn't understand why?"
"You didn't think I'd listen to you either, years ago when you told me we were siblings. I know the circumstances were different, but you worried for nothing. Rey is an adult now, Luke. She already likes us, and she isn't an angry person. She'll have questions, of course, probably a lot of them. You'll have the time to answer them all now. Has it occurred to you that once she knows, she could love you, as the father she's spent these years waiting for?"
"I've hoped for it... but I don't expect it. Getting my hopes up would be a bad idea. Would you come with me to tell her now? It should make it easier. If you have the time, I mean."
Luke was so nervous, Leia could feel the emotion pouring from him in waves. She gave him a puzzled look and kept her tone light. "Are you kidding? Where else would I be?"
Luke finally smiled, the tension broken for the moment. The twins prepared to leave Luke's quarters and look for Rey. As they left the room, Luke put one arm around his sister's shoulders in a gesture of thanks. Leia smiled to herself, glad that she was able to give her brother the support he needed.
Only a short time later, Luke had shared his secret with Rey. Not surprisingly, at first she didn't know what to say. Within moments, she had gathered her thoughts and opened her mouth to speak. Her tone wasn't angry, but it was clear she was deeply hurt and confused.
"You weren't planning to tell me, were you? Why wouldn't you want me to know? Even if you don't want us to be a family, you should have told me before..."
"Yes, I should have," Luke answered immediately. "I was afraid to tell you. I never wanted us to be separated in the first place, I wanted us to be a family. Your mother was afraid to leave, I was afraid to let you both stay with me. When you left, I knew where you were going, but knew I could never follow. You were just a baby. A few years later, your mother died. And I couldn't even come to get you. I'm sorry, Rey."
Rey ignored Luke's apology, her mind focusing on what he'd said about her mother. "She's dead? But I thought... I remember people leaving me, begging them to come back. If that wasn't you, and by then my mother was dead, who was it I remember going away?" Here Rey looked hopefully at Leia. "Was it you?"
"No. I didn't even know you were my niece until a short while ago. If it helps, I wish I could have been there to take care of you when you needed it so much. I'm sorry about your mother. I never knew her, but I'm sure she loved you."
At this, a tear slipped down Rey's cheek. She looked again at Luke, and asked in a quivering voice, "How did my mother die? Did someone... Kill her? Or don't you know?"
"She got very sick. She held on for a while longer than expected, from what I've heard. I didn't know until much later that she had died and you'd been left alone. I wish I could have been there."
"Me too," Rey whispered. "When my mother died, how old was I?"
"Six or seven is what I've been told. I wish she could have been with you longer. I know she loved you very much. She agreed when I asked her to leave because she realized it would be safest for you."
"If I was that old, why don't I remember anything about her? I remember having a mother, but I don't know what she looked like, or sounded like. Everything is blank. Why?"
"I don't know. I wish I could answer that for you." Rey eyed Luke suspiciously for a moment, then decided he was telling the truth and her expression softened.
"What was her name?" Rey asked finally. This she was suddenly so eager to know. She'd never be able to meet her mother, talk to her and get to know her. A name would be the only thing she could cling to.
"Her name was Cylia. You have her eyes. I hope that helps, somehow. She'd be proud of you, the person you've grown into. I know she would."
Rey gave a shuddering sigh, a pair of fresh tears streaming down her face. She wanted to speak, but couldn't for the moment. Leia reached out and gently took Rey in her arms. The two women sat like that a long time, even after Rey's few tears had passed. Luke looked on at first, but soon stepped out of the room, thinking there was no comfort he could give. He waited just outside, lost in his own thoughts... in his memories. After a while, Leia joined him. It wasn't until she rested a hand firmly on his shoulder that he noticed she was there.
"How is she?" Luke's voice was faint and a bit hoarse, making him sound worn out.
"She'll be all right. It's a lot to take in, but she's very strong. She asked me to tell you that after a while she'd like to talk to you some more."
"She has more questions I'm sure. I can't blame her. Did she say..."
"How she feels about you? Not directly, but if she's willing to talk later on, that's a good thing. She isn't angry, you could see that. I told you she wouldn't be. She's not sure what to say to you, because she doesn't know you very well."
Luke had a sudden realization, one that made him very sad. "She thinks I don't want to know her. That that's part of why I've been so quiet around her since we came here. I can't let her think that, Leia. I can't!"
Luke's voice was louder now, but not because he was angry. He was afraid. Leia took her brother's hands and led him away from Rey's door.
"Not so loud," she cautioned gently. "I'm sure she heard you. I know it's hard, but she needs the time to herself first. You have to wait."
Luke sighed, seeming ready to collapse where he stood. Now that the truth was out, most of the tension had passed. Exhaustion was left in its place.
"I know I do. What did you say to her, did she ask you anything?"
Leia clasped her brother's hands tighter as she replied. "She had one question, yes." Leia paused, knowing what she was about to say would hurt her sibling. She was sorry for that, and apologized to him simply by the way she looked at him.
"She asked me if... if I think you love her. Or at least care enough that we'll all stay here together."
"Well, at least if she's asking that, it wouldn't make sense for her to hate me. She cares about what I think." Luke said this as though it were the greatest surprise he'd ever had..
"Of course she does. If she needed to know that you love her, I think that means she wants to love you. She needs to get to know you, and after a while... Maybe she'll be ready to have a father."
"I hope so. I'm glad you were able to comfort her. She likes you very much. Probably because you're so much alike."
A small smile crept onto Leia's face. "Are you complimenting me or her?" she teased.
"Both," Luke said earnestly. "Thank you for being there, for helping us through that. You have no idea how grateful I am."
"Yes I do. I almost always know what you're thinking, remember?" Leia's smile widened a bit as she hugged her brother tenderly. "I'm so glad I could help. And that it went so well."
"Better than I expected," Luke said with obvious relief. As the twins drew apart, Luke rested his hands on Leia's shoulders instead. "I'm happy we're all here together now. Rey finally has the family she should have had all along. There's still so much to come, but at least we have each other."
Rey kept to herself for several days after Luke's revelation. When she did talk to him, her questions were few, all of them having to do with her mother. The entire conversation was not long, but still awkward. Father and daughter both seemed glad when they could stop talking and part ways. Rey immediately went in search of Leia, who was busy with her duties. Rey waited quietly for a few moments. Her patience was soon rewarded as Leia finished what she was doing and beckoned in Rey's direction.
"How did it go?"
Rey sighed and shook her head. "I hardly know what to say to him. We were both trying so hard. Half the time all we could do was sit there and stare at each other. He thinks I'm angry at him, but I'm not. How do I convince him of that?"
"You don't," Leia said calmly. "You show him otherwise, that's all. You're both trying too hard. It's too soon for you to be able to do anything else. Give yourself more time, it will get easier. You want to get to know him like you've started getting to know me, don't you?"
"Yes," Rey answered immediately. "It feels like we have to make up for all our lost time at once. I don't know how."
Leia led Rey outside, where she thought the warmth of the sun would do them both good.
"Rey, all you can do is go forward." Leia's voice was quiet, but firm. "I'm sure you both wish otherwise."
"Didn't you, when you found out he was your brother? You were already grown up, too. It's so sad."
"You're right, it was. It is for you too. When I found out the truth, I already loved your father as my friend. Some part of me had always known we shared such a close bond for a reason. I'm happy and proud to be his twin. I'm glad you're here with us father is, too."
"I can't get used to the word. That's part of the problem. It feels wrong to call him by his name, but I can't seem to call him father, either. What do I say?"
"You don't have to call him by any name if you don't want to. Later on, maybe you'll change your mind. Even if you don't, you're still part of the family. That's what you're worried about, isn't it?" Leia sounded sad as she asked this. The feeling deepened as Rey nodded in reply, then hastened to explain.
"Since I haven't been part of our family for so long already, I want you both to know that I'm glad... This is all so new to me, but I'm glad. I want to belong."
"You already do. It doesn't matter if you call Luke father, or me aunt, either. Your finding me to talk to me now shows me you want to stay here with us. That makes me very happy."
Rey finally smiled, clearly reassured. The pair turned to walk back inside, and descended the staircase single-file. Leia returned to her duties, and for a while Rey remained in the command center, just watching and wishing there was a place she fit in. More than that, she was curious about her family history. However, the thought of asking anymore questions left Rey feeling exhausted. She saw others using datapads, and decided that was the best way to find the answers she was seeking.
It was only a short time later that Rey was allowed to borrow one of the devices. She went quickly to her own quarters to search out what she wanted to know. She began with searching both her father's and aunt's names. This led Rey easily along to details about where they had each grown up, and the fate of the families that had raised them.
It was a couple of hours until she emerged, having found out everything she could about her family history. She finally felt as though she had some understanding of her father. Rey also felt relief in not having to ask him all the questions it would have taken to find out what she now knew. He wasn't much of a talker, least of all to herself.
Rey returned the datapad to the staff member she had borrowed it from, then wandered outside. Instinct led her to where her father was. He stood on the perimeter of the military base, staring at the horizon. Rey supposed it was some kind of meditation. As she approached and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, though, she realized he'd been waiting for her.
The pair stood there a long time, silently lost in their own thoughts. It was hard for Rey to think about who her grandfather was, but the knowledge was so new to her. At the same time, she knew something about what her father had gone though trying to save his own father from himself. He hadn't had the chance to know him... but some part of him loved his father nonetheless.
Luke, for his part, was filled with a desire to find out what it was like to be a father. He knew it was too soon to have an expectation of love from his child. Having her wrap an arm around his shoulders just now was a gift he welcomed. Being so close and content with each other was enough for now.
The day dawned cold and rainy, but as usual Rey found herself awake at first light. She had been an early riser since her first days of solitude on Jakku, and found it impossible to break the habit. She was grateful to have some purpose in her life now, something other than struggling for day to day survival. Most of all, Rey felt blessed that she was surrounded by family. It had taken so many years to find them. Now, Rey's greatest wish was to make them proud of her.
It had taken some convincing for Rey's father to be her Jedi master, but he'd at last agreed. Over these months, they'd both been working harder than was probably wise. Rey was not yet at the point where she felt ready to construct her own lightsaber. This distressed her more with every passing day. Today, she resolved to discuss it with her father.
Rey went looking for him and found him in the command center. She'd never seen him up this early and wondered what was going on. Leia was busy with her usual tasks, which gave Rey the chance to talk to her father.
Even with the other activity around them, Rey suddenly felt as if she were completely alone with her father. She blushed and looked down, hesitant to speak. Luke reached for his daughter's hand.
"What is it?" he inquired gently. Luke waited quietly, though it took Rey long moments to respond.
"Do you think I'll ever be ready to have my own lightsaber? I know we don't have forever to be ready."
"You're right, we don't. I think you'll be ready, and soon. Even if you don't have one in time for what's ahead, you'll still be with us. Where you belong." Rey smiled at this, but as usual she focused her mind on the task at hand with seconds.
"We should start training now, shouldn't we?"
"Not today. We've both earned a break. We can pick up tomorrow. Leia wants to talk to us about something later. She said she'll find us when she's ready."
Leia finished her day's work by early afternoon, which was earlier than usual. She first considered having her family meet in her quarters, but after some thought, decided they should gather on the Falcon instead. Neither Luke nor Rey were surprised by this, and followed Leia's lead to the ship. When they reached it and boarded, Leia stayed in the entryway, expecting Rey to take her place in the captain's chair. Rey saw her aunt looking in that direction and shook her head.
"It's your place for now, not mine. Please, take it."
Leia gave her niece a look of profound gratitude as she sat down. Luke sat in the co-pilot's seat, while Rey remained standing.
"Now, what do you need to talk to us about, Leia?"
Leia could hear the nervousness in her brother's voice and felt sure he had some clue to what she was about to say. She forged ahead before she could reconsider. "Ben is on Endor, waiting for us. He's been reaching out to me for a while now. At first I was able to ignore it. He won't wait much longer. All three of us know what he has in mind, I'm sure. I hope you're both ready. I don't think we'd be too hasty to go soon. I want this resolved, whatever happens. By now, he might hate me too... I can't tell. I thought I would know how he felt, I've tried to sense it, but I can't. "
"It's me he wants to have things out with, " Luke intoned softly. "I can accept that. I know you've both made up your minds to come with me, and I can't tell you how I appreciate that. I think you're right, Leia. We should leave soon. We're all as prepared as we can be. That is, if you think you can face him, Leia. In a duel, I mean. He may want to try and best you too. You've thought of that, haven't you?"
"Yes, I have." Leia's voice held no fear, only sadness. "You've taught me well, Luke. I'll do what I must. Whatever that turns out to be."
Luke knew his sister meant what she said, and inwardly marveled at her resolve. After a few more moments of discussion, the trio settled on a plan to depart in three days' time. Luke then rose to go, heading for the entryway. When Leia didn't rise, Luke looked back at her.
"Aren't you coming?"
"Not now... Later. I need..."
"You don't have to explain." Luke's voice was a choked whisper. "We'll see you later." Luke and Rey departed the ship quietly, though Rey looked back once they'd reached the bottom of the hatchway. Luke rested a hand on his daughter's shoulder.
"I know you're worried about her. So am I. The solitude does her good. She'll be fine."
"Are you sure? Even if she really needed us, she wouldn't ask."
"She would, in her own way. You'd know, trust me."
"I do. Do you know what will happen when we reach Endor? Can you see what's coming?"
"No, I can't. I'm glad for that. I think it means our own choices will make a difference. Maybe Ben isn't beyond hope, after all. That's what Leia is hoping for."
"I know." Luke and Rey walked back to the entrance to the Resistance base. They went inside, and each kept busy for some hours. Once dark fell, Rey grew worried when Leia didn't return. She told herself that Leia must have fallen asleep, that was all. Finally, Rey had to give in to her need for sleep. When she turned in, she left the door to her quarters unlocked, in hopes Leia would look in on her if she came inside.
Leia, Rey and Luke left for Endor three days later as planned. The journey would take some time, but no one felt like talking. Rey focused on her piloting duties, while Leia and her twin were left in awkward silence. Luke tried a couple of times to engage his sibling in conversation but failed. Finally, the siblings dozed on and off for the remainder of the trip. They weren't really tired, but made the best of the quiet.
Luke and Leia were both fully awake the moment the Falcon touched down on Endor. Due to the dense growth of trees, it was necessary to land a fair distance away from where the Ewok villages still thrived. They disembarked quickly, but didn't venture away from the ship just yet. Luke was surprised to see a small smile on Leia's face.
"What's the smile for?" Luke's tone was already teasing, which made Leia's smile widen.
"Memories, that's all. I know it's silly, I can't help it."
"It isn't silly at all. It's good that you can remember the happy things, not just the sad ones. You'll have to tell Rey the stories sometime."
"Some of them, yes."
Luke smiled himself, and opened his mouth to speak. Before he could, Leia gave him a warning look.
"Don't you dare! I can see the wisecrack coming. Keep it to yourself."
Leia's tone was light, but Luke was smart enough to know she meant what she said. "All right fine, you win. You ruin all the fun."
"Oh, stop. You love being like this, always have."
"Well, I can't help it. I do only have one sister, you know. It wouldn't be as much fun with anyone else."
"I'm so glad I only have one brother! I have no idea how I'd handle more than one like you."
Luke laughed out loud. Though the sound was soft, it was so rare that it took Leia completely by surprise. Rey was smiling behind them, having never seen her father and his sibling act in such a way before. Luke and Leia joined hands before Leia spoke again.
"We should get going. Ben must be waiting nearby here somewhere. We'd better find him before it gets dark." Leia walked away from the ship, not looking back to be sure Rey was following. Luke sensed the tension his sister felt. It hit him in waves as they walked. It wasn't long before Leia stopped her forward progress and pointed with her free hand.
"There, can you see it? He even brought his own ship. Just as I thought... He wanted to be sure we'd know he's here."
"I see it." Luke's voice was already touched with anger. "Leia, you don't have to do this. It's me he hates, let us deal with each other alone."
"No, I won't change my mind now. We've come this far. I think it's important for us to stay together. I said I'd see this through, and I meant it."
"Me too," Rey spoke up confidently. "I'm not prepared for a fight, but I won't stay with the ship waiting and hoping you both come back. I'm going to be right there with you."
Luke sighed and bowed his head, knowing there was no point to a debate. "Let's keep going, then. I'm sure he can't wait to see us."
Before long, the three of them reached Ben's ship. Only once they were there did Leia release her brother's hand so they could stand apart as they waited. At first they saw no sign of him, though they had all expected to find him waiting outside. In moments, the hatch opened and Ben descended the hatchway to stand on the grass. He was unmasked, but held his lightsaber in his hand. It wasn't yet activated.
"Well, Mother, I have to admit your Force power is as strong as I expected. I knew if anyone would listen to my call, it would be you."
"We all know why you've called us here, so why waste time talking? If it's a fight you want, let's get on with it."
Ben was thrown off balance by his mother's bluntness. He'd expected her to be more emotional, maybe even a bit desperate, thinking this was her last chance to save him... she'd taken her Jedi training more to heart than Ben had thought possible. This wasn't going to be easy, after all.
Leia didn't wait for Ben to make any reply before activating her lightsaber. Luke followed her lead, which left Ben no choice but to respond in kind. Though Rey was unarmed, she didn't move very far away. She watched intently, ready to step in at the first sign that she was needed.
It was only at this point that Ben noticed Rey standing there. He glared at her, and considered deactivating his saber to face off with her on even terms.
"Look who's got the family she wanted to much. You're so desperate to belong, you'd come here without a weapon? I thought you were smarter than that, cousin."
"Stop it, Ben. Even without a saber, Rey would be a match for you. She's started her training now." Luke knew he was revealing nothing Ben wouldn't have sensed already. Ben made no reply to his uncle, addressing Rey instead.
"You are his little darling, aren't you? Having his own daughter as his student must do wonders for his ego." Ben made a move to strike at his cousin. Leia reacted immediately and stepped between them, raising her lightsaber to counter Ben's advance.
"If you want to strike at her, you've got to come through me. I'm not going to let you hurt her."
Anger flashed in Ben's eyes at seeing Rey treated as a treasured member of the family... something he felt he had never been. Ben lashed out not with his weapon, but with the most hurtful words he could think of.
"No matter what you do now, you can't change the past, Mother. Yes, you're a Jedi now. Even if you manage to best me, Father will still be dead."
Pain settled in Leia's eyes, but she met Ben's gaze as she replied, her voice steady and soft.
"I know that, son. Let's get on with this."
"Why, are you anxious to watch me try to kill your brother?"
Now, Ben advanced swiftly on his uncle. Luke had been expecting this since they arrived. Therefore, he was able to counter Ben's attack quickly and completely. The two men went back and forth in this way for a significant amount of time. When Ben was able to advance on Luke and was poised to strike, Leia stepped in with a swift defensive move. Leia felt her son's anger flare, directed at her.
Leia quickly put Ben on the defensive. He was surprised to find himself at such a disadvantage, especially considering his mother's smaller physical size and strength. What she lacked in these she was able to make up for with her saber skill and pure Force power. Several times when he attempted to advance, Ben felt himself being pushed away without the slightest touch from his mother. While Ben himself was driven by anger as a matter of course, the only anger Ben felt from his mother was at how badly the family had been broken apart. How it still didn't feel complete without him. This took him so by surprise that he lagged behind in responding to the movements of his mother's lightsaber.
Though this left Leia with a clear opportunity to strike and wound her son, she responded by halting her advance, waiting to see what Ben would do. Ben's anger flared again, and he spoke. "The one thing I never thought you were was a coward, Mother! Why stop now when you can defeat me?'
"Because I'm not here to win a lightsaber battle. I'm here to take back my son. If there is anything left of him. Show me. Are you still in there, Ben?"
Leia deactivated her lightsaber and stood waiting. She wasn't afraid, though she expected Ben would strike her without hesitation. Though he raised his saber, he made no move to strike. His face clouded with pain and confusion. This deepened as Leia cast her lightsaber aside, not looking to see where it landed.
"Are you going to take your opportunity or not, son? It's your choice."
"Mother, I can't... Not when you can't fully defend yourself!"
"Oh, why not? That's what you did to your father, wasn't it?"
Though anger flashed in Ben's eyes, it quickly passed. He lowered his head and switched off his lightsaber. "Yes, it was. I can't change the past. I don't understand why you still care about me, after what I did!"
"No matter what you've done, you're still my son. I don't give up on people I love, whether they like it or not. Come with us, Ben. It isn't too late, believe me."
Luke and Rey moved to stand behind Leia. Luke's lightsaber was still activated. Rey picked up Leia's saber from where it had landed but didn't turn it on. Ben looked at them, his anger rising again.
"it won't be that easy. How can I just walk away, after all these years? I don't belong anywhere else. You never wanted me, remember?"
"I know you've thought sending you away meant we didn't care. I'm sorry for that. We were only trying to prevent you from making the wrong choices. It made everything worse. I can't change the past either. We can start again."
Ben leveled his gaze on his uncle, his voice dripping with contempt. "What about you?" Will you welcome back a nephew who hates you?"
"All I want is for my sister to suffer less. For her sake, I'll do anything. If you hate me for the rest of my life, so be it. I don't hate you. I hate that I failed you, and what we've both helped do to our family. It was never too late for your grandfather. It isn't too late for you."
Ben sneered, laughing derisively. "Don't tell me that lie again! I never believed you when I was a boy, that hasn't changed. I know what he was like, I've wanted nothing more than to follow in his footsteps."
"You don't have to believe me, Ben. I've never told you this, but after he died, I brought his body back here, and took care of it in the traditional Jedi way. Not long after that, I saw his spirit. It was only for a few seconds or so, but I've never forgotten it. He looked so happy, so grateful."
Luke caught a flicker out of the corner of his eye, and knew what he'd been hoping for had happened. "If you won't take my word, ask your grandfather. He'll tell you."
Looking over his uncle's shoulder, Ben blinked several times before he believed what he saw. It couldn't be his grandfather... not in Jedi robes. He gaped, and could think of nothing to say. The man's eyes were just like his uncle's. Not just in their color, but in their expression. It was the same look Luke had given him when they'd first started training. He'd had such hope, at the beginning. Ben had to admit to himself that the spirit he could see must be his grandfather.
Ben suddenly felt everyone else's eyes on him. It made him flush with nervousness, knowing that they could all see what he saw. He couldn't bring himself to speak, to ask if what his uncle had said was true. Just by appearing here, at this moment, his grandfather proved anything Luke had ever told him, didn't he? And now, his own mother was here, determined to save him as Luke had done for his father. Ben saw no way to turn away from that. He didn't want to wait to have a family until he was dying. They were all here now... waiting for him to be part of them again.
Ben tore his eyes away from his grandfather to meet his mother's gaze. She didn't speak, only looked at him expectantly.
"I understand now, Mother." Ben's voice was so calm, so confident, that Leia couldn't help but smile just a little. "You'd really let me come back with you and start over. How do I walk away from what I've started? They'll hate me for it."
"I'm sure. We'll protect you. It won't be an easy life, I won't lie to you. But if it's what you choose, then the battle is partly won. Come with us, please."
Ben made no reply. He returned his lightsaber to his belt, and by the time he looked up again, his grandfather's spirit had departed. Only now did Luke turn off his saber as well. Leia began to walk away, silently hoping Ben would follow. Luke and Rey fell in line behind her. Finally, Ben moved to follow. They walked in silence, darkness falling around them. Ben hesitated when they came within sight of the Falcon.
Up ahead, Leia sensed her son's emotions as clearly as if he'd spoken aloud. Ben had never been truly sorry for what he'd done to his father. Until now. Part of him still hated Han, and probably always would. Most of all, though, he was sorry for what he'd done because it meant that their family would never be complete again. This was progress, and for that, Leia could be happy. It meant there really was hope for Ben... for her only child. That was enough.