TITLE: A to Z
AUTHOR: Leni
DISCLAIMER: No.
WORDCOUNT: 25x100 + 200 (if you thought I could hundredise X. Right!)
SUMMARY: R-rated. 26 drabbles, all focused on B/A from WTTH to post-NFA. Inspired by Letter Love (at LJ) and because my muse wasn't interested in my IY fic, this comes to you.
FEEDBACK: Considering the circumstances, could I ask that you named your favourite bats eyelashes Not necessary, of course. I'd just like to know which one worked best.

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Adjustment

She'll get over this. Willow says so and Xander supports her theory. It's been only two weeks since Graduation. By the end of summer she'll be new as good. Without him. Without seeing him, without fighting with him and having someone to tend to her wounds so that her mom won't freak.

It could be worse. She could have made him lose his soul, or sent him to Hell. This time she only was so unsure of her feelings that she drove him away. No death count at all.

She'll get over this, one step after the other.

Simple. Right?

Bravado

Buffy's chin stuck out and her eyes held all the courage a sixteen-year-old could muster. "I had to. Ted was planning something. He would have killed me so it was--- It was self-defence."

The chin trembled slightly; her eyes searched his desperately. Angel reached out and pulled her to lay beside him.

"I'd do it again."

He didn't believe that; but he nodded for her.

She held out her hands and stared at them. "I had no option," she whispered, "I didn't."

He covered her hands with his, brought her closer and let her hide her face against his chest.

Clandestine

First it was a love spell, so the next morning they agreed easily to ignore and forget everything.

The second time was a mistake. It'd been raining; she'd been hurt. A scratch, a touch, and suddenly ten years flew away. There was no next morning. She slipped out before dawn and he let her.

The third time was a test. The night wasn't over when they knew they'd failed. "We tell nobody," she said before she began kissing down his chest. He caressed her hair, brought her back up, reversed their positions and smiled down at her. "Never planned to."

Diplomacy

Angel blinked at the redhead at his door.

"Buffy once told me how to get here," Willow explained as she came in. He nodded, if still confused. "I came to – uh – to apologise."

He raised an eyebrow. "Apologise?"

"For yesterday. I mean, we were all happy and fun-having and then…." Oh. Xander's usual derogatory comments at the Bronze. "Xand' shouldn't have said that, and he knows it."

But he'd never tell Buffy or me, Angel supplied mentally.

"And maybe…. If you didn't look at him so 'Har har, I got Buffy' smug?"

Angel looked at her incredously.

"Well, you do!"

Education

The girls looked at the older boy leading the welcome speech.

Andrew beamed under the attention. "Lastly, some tips to live within the Council. First, nobody touches the sci-fi tapes. Understood? Second, nobody tries to slay Spike. That he kicked your ass is no excuse. Three, all questions go directly to Giles or to me; the others will be around only occasionally."

He smiled, about to declare the meeting over, when a cough stopped him. "Oh right. By special request, if someone else hits on Angel just because he's into Slayers, Buffy will swish you into Intensive Survival – for life."

Fraud

Riley talked of his parents' home, of his siblings, showed her the pictures of his niece and laughed as he remembered how little Laura had bitten his finger with her one tooth.

Buffy smiled, nodded and laughed with him. Silently, she wondered when he'd finish this charade. She could play dumb for now; but one day he'd spell it out: He wanted that. The house, the family, the cute stories.

Now that he hinted at the impossible future, Buffy missed the past the most. Once upon a time, she hadn't needed to lie and hide when asked about the future.

Goner

First it was attraction. She was a girl; he was a boy. And what a boy! He was too secretive, though, and she didn't need more secrets.

Then there was curiosity. He was no boy at all. She, vampire Slayer; he, vampire helping her. Something didn't add up and curiosity was a given.

Then came trust, a dance and a kiss. She stepped back and looked into his eyes, saw the cross imprinted on his chest. So many differences and none mattered. She turned around, left. Now was his turn to choose.

But she knew; she was already a goner.

Hot Spot

Ah, Hellmouth, sweet Hellmouth.

The vibes of evil, tons of unaware dinner- and minions-to-be, and one scared little witch who'd bring Drusilla back. Unlife was good.

Whyever had he stopped at the Slayer's house? Right. Carnage, destruction, and nothing said 'I hate you' like murdered family members. But Dru had always made him act crazy, and her absence made it worse. Sure, conversation was nice. Plus, threatening Joyce before an uninvited Angel had been a blast.

Now, though, if Mr. and Mrs. We-R-In Lust didn't back down and get laid, he'd probably self-combust. Bugger. He wasn't that pathetic, was he?

Impasse

He watched her leave, again.

It would be so easy to hold her back. One lie would be enough, an 'I don't' he couldn't force himself to say.

So ironic.

He'd been the master of lies. For decades he'd fine-tuned each expression, the exact tone of every word as he wove dreams and promises for the unsuspecting. He could still do it and she'd probably thank him.

She wanted to stay, and he wanted her to stay; but her price was too high. "Tell me you don't love me," she'd said.

And, to her, he'd never been able to lie.

Jaw

Xander's books fell to the floor, and his jaw almost followed.

Willow and Buffy's heads whipped up, surprised by the commotion. They'd been left alone as soon as Giles had discovered that their talk of last night's patrol didn't include patrolling per se.

Xander tried to speak, but couldn't. Then he discovered the small dark spot in Buffy's neck and stuttered. Didn't Slayers heal quickly? That couldn't be older than two hours! He stared at them and finally swallowed. "Please. Please tell me you were talking about baseball."

Buffy blushed slightly but her grin widened as she shook her head.

Kinky

Never drink with Faith, Buffy reminded herself as the younger woman sat her down on the common room and handed her paper and pen. "Okay, now for the fun. We, our guys and kinky nights. The longer list gets a… a… a lamp!" And she pointed to the lamp.

Buffy shrugged. Why not?

Chocolate and ice-cream were a given. Ice, honey and assorted fruits, too. Tying up, role-playing and public places. The three in one, sometimes. She protested when Faith snatched her list away but had to laugh when the brunette jumped up and glared at her.

"On this sofa!"

Lackey

Buffy sighed as she watched the ashes settle. "Is it Christmas already?"

Angel blinked, not following her meaning.

She didn't notice and kept dusting her clothes. "No, really. Wherever Spike gets these morons I should thank him for the easy practice. Even Giles takes longer to declare himself dead."

Her boyfriend chuckled, then shrugged. "Spike never cared for quality."

"Well, it shows." She rolled her eyes. "Hello? Less than ten seconds? That's just pathetic. Plus, their timing sucks." She walked back to him and put her arms around his neck as before Spike's latest lackey interrupted them. "Where were we?"

Myopia

He felt trapped in Sunnydale. Giles' silent accusations, Xander's rampant distrust and the fear Willow tried valiantly to hide. They all wondered when he and Buffy would misstep. Angel could see their doubts in Buffy's eyes, in her hesitance and her guilt when they were together.

She wasn't happy, and he wondered how much longer inertia could take them. Buffy deserved more. Buffy deserved everything: the smiles, free kisses and a normal relationship. The day she realised that, he'd be gone anyway.

It was better to cut ties sooner, take the dream with him. Buffy would thank him one day.

Non-verbal

The vampire rushed straight to Buffy. Angel distracted it, giving her time to unzip the weapons bag and take out a couple of stakes. Once she was ready, he shoved the vampire away and held out a hand without looking back. The stake fell neatly into is palm and in the next second there was only ash.

Angel turned around, smiling, but ducked and rolled at a change of her expression. Her stake flew over him and he heard a second explosion.

Buffy recovered the stakes and shouldered her bag before she reached for his hand.

Patrol had just begun.

Overrule

Angel was dying.

Angel was dying and she couldn't breathe. It didn't matter that he was leaving her, the he didn't believe in her or that he chose the unknown over her. She didn't matter as long as she suffered,

Was she crazy? Was she obsessed? Those questions were in everyone's minds. Was she really going to kill Faith? Buffy froze at that thought; but he was more important than her principles.

And Wesley said that the Council wouldn't allow her to help her ex boyfriend? Tough. Wesley was a loser. Couldn't he get that Angel's well-being overruled everything else?

Pressie

Buffy's eyes widened at the large box under Angel's arm. She almost clapped excitedly as she rushed to him. What could it be? A dress? No, too long. Roses? Nah. It better not be a fourth sword!

She snatched the package, stealing a quick kiss so he wouldn't protest.

"Er. Buffy. It's not…."

She blinked. Okay, this rated lower than the sword. "A shower curtain?"

"Um. We ripped down yours, remember?"

Buffy blushed instantly. Oh right. Then she smirked and closed in on him. "It's too difficult to get a new sink?"

He frowned. "But the sink is still--- Oh."

Quicksilver

She was the teenager here, with all the moodiness that represented. If anyone had the right to change their mind at the drop of a hat, it was her.

How dare he swoosh into her life one day and disappear the next? She wasn't some harlequin heroine. She wouldn't faint at his presence or wonder all night about his whereabouts. But if he kept that annoying attitude, she'd go and look for an Ahmed in real life.

Except that Angel would surely come in, spoil her date and disappear again.

Enough was enough. Next time, she was taking a lasso.

Relevant

Cordelia sat Fred down and breathed deeply. "Okay, the Cliff's Notes: Angel plus happiness? Equals murder. And believe me, even before we knew that, Angel in love was bad news. Obsessed vampiresses, daydreaming Slayers. Chaos in action. Besides, his taste sucks."

"It can't be that bad."

"Oh, it gets worse."

Fred's eyes widened.

Cordelia sighed. "Time for the big guns, then." She led Fred into Angel's studio and picked a book. "He thinks he's so smart. As if! Nobody's that invested in dimensional shifts. 'Scept you, sure. No offence."

Fred glanced at the picture inside and kissed her dreams goodbye.

Spectator

What was this? The Slayer's mom was dead. Couldn't she act normally for once and mourn at her own home? What a freak! And who was that? Wait. She remembered him. Angelus. Or Angel. There'd been an identity crisis there. Hadn't he hightailed it?

Yes, of course. One great summer. The Slayer had been too lost to work properly. She'd expected something similar tonight, but… Freaks.

Well, well. Look how cosy they were, sitting together. It seemed like only dawn would separate them. Just as well. As long as they remained here, there were other twelve graveyards to choose from.

Topless

A button-up blouse and she barely protested when he unhooked the first one. By the third, she shivered but continued kissing him. Her arms lowered, inviting him to pass the cloth down her shoulders and he simply couldn't refuse the offer. No bra. Just as he'd thought since he'd first hugged her. He moulded his hand around one breast, kneaded softly before moving to the other.

She wouldn't allow him to stop the kiss and, in this, he submitted to her. Just touching. It was okay. He just kissed her harder and reminded himself that they had time to explore.

Unsettled

She didn't care that the chaos was over. LA was back to normal, with new urban tales and the rambling of bombs, gangs and collective hysteria. None of that mattered.

She should have been here and now she had to look for him. But there was nothing. It was her second week in California and the most she got from the underground rumours was that Angel had gone against his own firm and lost soundly. That didn't matter either.

Giles could be as reasonable as he wanted. Until she had the ashes or a reliable witness, she wasn't giving up.

Vertex

She'd explained it to Riley once. She and Angel were two lines in space. They'd met once and, yes, it'd been almost perfect, but after that one vertex, they had to follow their ways into infinitum. Riley had wondered if that theory applied to them, too. Buffy'd blinked and tried to laugh off her mistake.

Years later they met again at the Cleveland Hellmouth. Riley's eyebrow had risen when he'd recognised the easiness between her and Angel as intimacy.

"Lines in space, huh?" he'd asked at the first opportunity, teasing.

Buffy frowned, confused, and then laughed. "I did fail Geometry."

Waves

He was standing behind her when he asked. "Why do you like this spot?"

Buffy looked up, a little confused by his question. It'd been a long time since she'd dragged him here and he'd never asked. She directed her gaze back downwards, trying to figure out why he always tensed up when they came, and let the waves below guide her answer. "It's beautiful here, even at night. I love that we can share that."

"That's it?"

She frowned. What else? She got up and walked to him for a kiss. His kisses always tasted different on this pier.

X-rated

He was sitting on her bed, and she woke up completely in his kiss. A hand at her shoulder, keeping her millimetres apart. She led it away, pressing against him as she murmured his name. She leaned back only to help him lift his shirt, and she raised her arms helpfully when he took off her camisole. Now she was lying completely on the mattress, Angel leaning above her.

She hugged him to her, hands free over his back, down to his waistband and she tugged down. "Please," she said, and he complied, shimmying off his remaining clothes. She was next, pants and underwear gone and she only felt his fingers on her skin, his legs along hers and then placing themselves between hers, parting them and she never thought to deny him.

Then he was moving within her and she moved with him, lost herself with him. It was too easy, more trust than ecstasy, more faith than the yearning. One together, was there another option?

She gasped when his face shifted. A second and his fangs were buried in her.

It was pain. It was… God!

She startled awake in the library and fought to recover her breath.

Yet

She was fine. The Master was only a skeleton now and the prophecy had been proved wrong.

And yet she could still feel the water around her, entering through her nostrils and filling her lungs too quickly to fight it.

But she was fine, really. Her friends were around her, laughing off the last hours and sure that she did the same.

And yet she didn't.

She let them leave before her, their chatter as animated as she wasn't. Angel stayed behind, too, and didn't make any assumptions as he took her hand.

In that moment, she was really fine.

Zilch

Giles's eyes widened and without further word, he turned around and headed back to the teachers' lounge. Tea and a little whiskey in it. He might forget the tea if that scene continued by his return.

Xander opened his mouth and his call for modesty and propriety – had they forgotten this was a school? – became a yelp as Willow grabbed his earlobe and pulled him away.

Inside the library, Angel raised his head and frowned. "Did you hear that?"

Buffy licked her lips. "Mmm?" She pouted. "Nope. Nothing. Zilch. Nada."

He was going to insist; but she didn't let him.