Okay, so I have decided to write another multi chapter fic. I've had this idea swirling in my mind for days and days, probably even weeks, most likely months. It centres very much on a vice versa Brittana, ie Brittany is the slutty angry one and Santana is the secretly wise and nerdy one. Well. I guess she's nerdy. But you'll have to read this fic to see where I'm going with her. She's not the stereotypical glasses/freakishly clever/spelling bee nerd, put it that way. Nearly all of the glee characters will be present in this fic. I have some really lovely and fluffy chapters ahead in mind so I really hope you like it. Enjoy x
DISCLAIMER: I unfortunately don't own Glee. Brittana would so have kissed by now.
And one last thing, 'Diz' and 'Bows' are nicknames. As the story progresses you will see who is who. For now, let the mystery keep you amused and wanting more.
Our Remedies Oft In Ourselves Do Lie
Diz,
I'm scared. I'm so scared.
Where are you? Why have I lost you? When will you come back to me?
I know you're hurting. And I know that you feel like you're falling again.
Well, maybe you are. Maybe it's not just a feeling you have. Maybe it's actually happening and you are actually falling. Falling somewhere so very familiar yet completely unknown at the same time and all in the depths of the darkest caves imaginable.
But I know you, Diz. I know how you are feeling right now. And I know that you feel like you can't do anything about it or that you actually can't and it's not just a feeling.
Because it's never just feelings with you, Diz. It's always, always been something more. You feel things so much deeper than everyone else and I know you think it took me forever to work that out but it didn't. I knew the moment I first laid eyes on you.
I knew because you were sleeping naked. Like, being in your bed was the only place you could just be You. The place where you could relax and let go of everything that you feel so deeply. I knew, Diz, and I really wish you could see that.
And I really wish that you could see that I still know. I still know You. I know the real You. I always have done. And it took you so long yet hardly any time at all to let me in on all of that. On all that you are.
You want to know why I'm scared, Diz? I'm scared because I think I might lose you. I'm scared because I know you are falling again and however hard I try and fly down beside you, I have to face the idea that I may not make it to you in time and by the time you've gone and smashed into the ground, I won't be there to catch you.
I'm so scared of not catching you. Because I've always caught you. You've never had to worry about that. And I've always caught you because you've always let me.
But the one time it mattered was the one time I didn't catch you. And that's because I realised I didn't need to. That's because you weren't even falling.
You were flying.
And I need you to learn to fly again, Diz. I know that you can do it. I know that you have the strength to fly again because I've seen you do it once before. And if you've done it before, you can do it again.
Once upon a time, you told me that there were a lot of things you couldn't do. You couldn't write very well. You couldn't do math. You couldn't sing like Rachel Berry.
And then you told me that you couldn't fly. That no one could fly. Flying was impossible.
And I told you that you were wrong and you know that you were wrong. You know, Diz. Because I showed you that you were wrong. I showed you we could fly. That it was possible. And you realised that flying was better than falling.
Because you'd been falling for too long.
I'm scared, Diz. I'm still really, really scared.
I need you to come back to me. I know that you don't know where you belong right now and I know you feel totally lost.
But you need to know that I am lost with you. Wherever you are and wherever you may go, I will always be there with you. I will always get lost with you.
Can you hear me, baby? I need you to light whatever candle you can find. I need you to shout with whatever voice you have left. I need you to raise your hands above whatever you're drowning in and I promise you I will try and reach you.
Because I've never met anyone who was lost but didn't want to be found.
Come back to me. Come back and find me again. Like I'm trying to find you.
Because I won't give up. I will never give up.
Not until you are by my side and we are flying again.
Flying together.
Please, baby. I don't think I can do this on my own, but I am trying. I told you there was no such thing as 'can't' so I'm going to try and prove that to you once more.
You know where to find me. I'll always be there, waiting for you.
I love you.
Bows
P.S. "Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie,"
I have a soft spot for starting fics off with letters but this story is one of the most close to home and real pieces I've ever written. If you liked it, please tell me so! Review, subscribe, favourite, PM, whatever. I love you all! Poppy x