People can say that Arthur is fearless, that he is the strongest man in Camelot. That no man, woman or child can compare themselves to his bravery, his strength. To a point, yes, this is true. He is the strongest man in Camelot, he is the bravest man in Camelot. On the outside. But on the inside, his strength is nothing in comparison to that of Merlin. Merlin's inner strength is the stuff of legend. Because Merlin is pain. The sort of pain that ravishes your body, your mind. The sort of pain that sickens you to your very core, to the point where you can't help but shake. The sort of pain where you can't cry out, where you can't scream or moan. Because then people will know something is wrong, and they will demand to know. And Merlin cannot have that, because he knows that his is a pain that cannot be fixed, and so to have others know his pain, to have other know of it, and know they can't help him, to cause them pain because they know they can do nothing for his pain... well that's just too much for Merlin. Merlin is not the sort of person to cause other's pain when he knows full well he can hold it in himself, hold it in and cope, and act like normal, and never let that pain out no matter what! Because his pain doesn't matter, his pain is unimportant! His pain should be totally ignored, totally disregarded because he feels something that he should not feel! He is in love with someone who is married. He is in love with someone who loves another. He is in love with a man. And that is wrong, so very very wrong. And so Merlin must hold his pain inside, and cope with it, and not let it affect him because it is a pain he should not be having, it is a pain he cannot share, and so that makes him the strongest man in Camelot. And the fact that he faces the man he loves every day, the fact that he serves him, and works for him and worships him and tries his best to not love him – makes him the bravest person in Camelot. And that is a bravery, that is a strength, that cannot compare...