With one last look behind me for a follower, I sigh and step inside. The Farplane is cold, as it was before, but it seems immensely colder with the knowledge of the truth behind Yevon's carefully maintained facade. I walk towards the edge, and sigh silently, calling the red coated guardian to me silently. Looking up, I see his presence there, floating far from me.
"Auron..." I call, wiping a tear away with one of my long white sleeves. He seems to be waiting for me to continue, even though his face is unemotional as always. I sigh, realizing with one deep breath just how gone he is. I thought that possibly I could find him...maybe revive him. But he's gone.
It's time for me to let go. To let go of the secret I've been keeping inside. It's difficult for me to keep a secret for long, considering how open and honest I am, but this one I couldn't bring myself to tell. Probably because it is mine, truly mine.
"Auron...I know it's too late to tell you this...but I must. I've heard tales about you since I was a child, and I think...I think I fell in love with you then. You became my romantic standard, the one that I compared any potential boyfriends to. None of them even came close, so I stayed single for so long...up until I met Tidus. We were secretly dating...up until we found you. I wish I could've been there before, but being...me...I had been kidnapped by the Al-Bhed. I remember finding you first in the Via Purifico, and being more relieved than anything. The two of us would've done fine getting out of there, I think...but the others were always there.
"I remember after leaving Djose...when you said, 'Once Lady Yuna fixes her hair, we leave!' And how Tidus was the only one laughing. I thought I loved him, when in truth I loved you both, and now you have both gone. I have to be strong...I have to smile...for Rikku, for the others. But I must admit I miss you more than I miss Tidus. I think I loved you more, as well, even though it didn't show...I was just so embarrased, so..so frightened. I don't know how I kept standing when you first appeared with Tidus. My knees went weak, but somehow I kept standing. And I kept smiling. I wish you would've been there in the end...when I had to give the speech. My heart was broken, shattered, for you and Tidus. I felt like I had nothing. I'm no longer needed, Spira has a new hope. I'm..not important anymore...I'm nothing without you."
I finish what I say, then look up to find him gone. This angers me, more than slightly, but I try not to show it. I have just poured my soul out to him, and now he has dissapeared. After telling him all I wanted to, I feel empty inside, but emptiness is a new kind of pain. A pain that is welcome after the unfaltering pain I have felt for three years now. Nothing seems to heal the broken heart, nor the broken hearted.
I wonder what will become of me. The life I wished to lead has been abolished, shattered, and nothing I do can bring it back. I truly did have dreams of being a summoner, like my father, and having Auron guard me. Someday, maybe, he would be my final aeon, and it would be all over. We could be there together...my dream and I.
Now I stand in the Farplane, very much alive. Not exactly what I had planned. But nothing ever works out the way it has been planned, I should've learned that long ago. Taking one last look at and attempting to call him back in vain, I head to the exit at my failure. Tears are steadily streaming down my face, even though I feel nothing inside as I walk on, getting all the way down the steps before turning around one last time and staring.
"Yuna..." I hear Lulu's voice, calling to me. Turning around slowly, I see her standing there, a look of slight concern on her usually cold face.
"I'm..I'm sorry." I say, and she crosses her arms.
"There is no reason to be sorry, Yuna. But we must continue our journey." she says, and I suddenly begin to sob. Those words are words Auron would've said in this situation.
"Yes..." I say, and place both of my hands on my staff, gripping it tightly. "We must go."