Midterm exams were tiring. Exams were always tiring. But midterm exams testing your abilities to be a counsellor that could allow you to join Ultimates of Hope's Peak? Downright exhausting. Oh so exhausting.
The assignments were technical and precise stuff you couldn't get wrong. The tests were less precise, but required knowledge in a lot of different fields sometimes completely unrelated unless some situation required them to collide. In short, it was the hardest to deal with. Next to that, the basic midterms exams, despite being harder than the average because it was Hope's Peak, were cake.
But he was determined to pull through them.
Struck with an unbearable headache, rubbing his head in an attempt to make the pain between and behind his eyes, Hajime finally raised his head from the psychology book he was studying to look at the clock. Half past three in the morning. Damn, it was that late already?
Basic needs didn't care that he had an exam to pass. One spot available for God knew how many contestants. He had to pull through it, but his body didn't know apparently. He got up and aimed for the dorm's bathroom.
The Reserve Course student could only wish for the sweet release of the exams ending soon as he staggered through the corridors, using the wall as a support. His body was giving up on him, but he clenched his fists and went for the bathroom, which he finally reached as he let himself fall in one of the stalls, barely keeping him from meeting the ground by immediately sitting on the toilet.
Wait. That was… The girls' bathroom? He should have thought about looking at the sign, but considering how blurry his vision was getting, he could had been able to think it was anything but a person wearing a dress.
Once that loss of time was done, all he could think about was crashing in bed, or rather, drink yet another cup of coffee hoping to get up until he had completed his work for the psychology exam. It was the last one. The final countdown.
He would know in two days if he was remaining in the Reserve Course, or if he was becoming an Ultimate. But he got torn from his thoughts when he crashed into something, or rather, someone.
"Hinata-kun…? What are you doing up so late in the night…?" asked a soft-spoken voice, right at the height of his chest. He looked down.
"Oh, Nanami, it's you… Huh, I was using the bathroom, you know, basic stuff… What are you doing here?" he asked back, just if it meant justifying his yawns of exhaustion.
"Hinata, that can't just be it, I think… It's the third time that happens… And you came out of the girls' bathroom, didn't you…?"
"W-well… I need to go back to sleep, if you'll excuse me…"
He straightened up his legs to walk normally until he was in the Reserve Contestants part of the dorm. Only then he allowed himself to fall to his knees and stagger to his temporary room. He was so, so lucky lights had been turned off if it wasn't for his phone serving as a flashlight.
Once in there, he wanted to work on that last exam, but dizziness overcame him before he could walk up to his desk, and he crashed into bed, still dressed in his black uniform, barely able to program his alarm for half past six before passing out.
A loud, generic beeping noise woke Hajime right when he needed to be woken up. Struggling to open his eyes, his first reflex was to think about what the hell had happened before he was in bed, and why he was still dressed in his uniform.
As soon as a headache struck him like a sledgehammer, he ruled it as "oh well, I don't have to dress up then" and brushed off the issue. He went to drink the remaining of the coffee (it was cold, but it felt nicer than expected, his throat was a bit itchy) and took about three aspirins. It was the last time, he could allow himself relief before sleeping for a century.
The exam room was, unfortunately for once, on the same path than Class 77-B's homeroom. Sighing, hoping he wouldn't come across Nanami again (she was starting to suspect he was beyond exhausted), he grabbed his case, paying as much attention as possible not to forget anything and left his room.
The coffee kicked in, fully waking him up, as he came across the gamer girl once again. Goddammit.
"Oh, hi Nanami!" he forced himself to say while he would have liked to stay quiet. His voice was cracking. He wanted to be alone in front of a paper sheet and sleep.
"Hello, Hinata-kun…" she absentmindedly replied as she walked to her room with eyes fixated on the screen of the console she was holding.
Then she raised her eyes. He wanted to run, but if he did, his legs would fail him.
"You don't look all okay at all…" she said in calm voice tinted with a worry he despised.
"I-I have an exam, if you'll excuse me…!" he barely sputtered as he walked as fast as his body could allow him to his destination. There was no time to reply questions or to lie. His head was already pounding enough as it was.
The exam, then his health. That was his deal. And he would keep it until the end. Until the results. Until the psychology exam was done. Until it was corrected.
Until five o'clock in the afternoon.
When he got out of the exam room, around noon, the Reserve Course student could barely walk anymore. His legs felt like they were log. Frozen log. A good look at the tables revealed they were only four or five to go through the exam. Oh well, counsellors weren't that numerous. He was there because Nanami (and some of her classmates he couldn't remember the name of but spoke to more than once) told him he was good at that kind of stuff. He rolled with it, really.
He wasn't even hungry. All he felt was exhausted, and clearly not good at all. Every part of his body was aching, and maybe he was starting to regret taking this optional exam. Maybe. Ambition was more important than his health, he couldn't let that go against his dreams. He had objectives. Lazing around wasn't one of them.
He staggered to the room programmed to show the result at the end of a giant countdown shown on the giant screen hung on a wall. He fell into one of the sofas, drained of energy and will to even sit down, and his vision turned blurry then black.
It was only noon, yet it felt like it was midnight…
"Hey, wake up, idiot"
Something was shaking him by the shoulders as Hajime struggled to wake up again, barely realizing he had fallen asleep in the first place.
"Huh…?"
"Maybe you'll pass, but for now, you just passed out" sneered one of the contestants.
This face was familiar. It was the face of his homeroom teacher. Around him were several pairs of eyes, filled with ambition and determination, with dark rings under them. He wasn't the only one tired, at least.
He looked at the screen. It was already more than ten to four in the afternoon. He shook and slapped him awake with his two hands, anxiety now raising in his nerves from his feet to his head, fully bringing him to reality.
"Okay, the five of you took the Ultimate Entrance exam. However, only one of you will be able to join Class 77-B as the Ultimate Counsellor they are."
"When do we get to know?!" shouted a girl, that Hajime thought he had seen somewhere else before, fists clenched.
"In… One minute. The one to pass is going to be shown on the screen" replied the teacher.
These sixty seconds were the longest of his life. His surprise nap didn't make his headache go away at all. At best, the girl's shouts had made it worse. His body was starting to feel really cold, the room was probably freezing. Maybe rubbing his arms together would make him warmer.
His breathing was weird too. It felt heavy and laboured, even from the inside. It was anxiety. Complete, utter, terrifying and terrified anxiety. So many things were running through his head, his body could only follow the trend of his stress. It would end in three, two, one…
"Pass really is the verb to describe you right now, Hinata."
He raised his head, which had found its way into his laps at one point, only to see his face and name on the screen. He… Couldn't believe it. It was him. It was really him. It had paid off. He was an Ultimate too.
A grin covered his face as he got stared at by his four now former classmates.
He slowly got up, body about to break under everything, as his former homeroom teacher landed him his new uniform and new dorm room key. It was still unbelievable. He quietly bowed in a thank you.
"Class starts tomorrow for you, Hinata. For now, discover your new homeroom and dorm place. The others, I'll see you in class tomorrow."
Ignoring stares and moans, the new Ultimate got out of the room, mentally waving goodbye at the Reserve Course part of his life, as he made his way to his new bedroom and life. He would be happier than ever to take off this black, bland uniform.
On his way there, he came across Nanami yet again, this time far from her classroom: on her way to join her own dorm room. He was so happy to be able to tell her she could finally be proud of being his friend, of believing in him.
"Hey, Nanami…"
"Oh, Hinata-kun" she said as she lifted her eyes from her console once again. "I think you've passed, right…?"
"How did you know…?!"
"Your grin… And this uniform you're holding… Congratulations…"
"T-thanks…"
"Hinata-kun…?"
Everything was so utterly, utterly blurry and spinning he had no idea what was a wall or the floor by now. His body was, indeed, giving up on him once and for all. He took support on what was probably a wall (at least, it was standing), leaning on it, feeling himself lose balance.
"I… Don't feel so good…" he managed to whisper in a hoarse voice.
"Hinata-kun…?!" Nanami's voice resonated to his ears in a muffled echo, but he could tell she was worriedly terrified for him.
He wanted to lend a hand on her shoulder to tell her he was going to his room to rest, sleep off his anxiety and his exhaustion. Instead, his vision turned blurrier and blurrier, he fell into her arms, she stepped back and everything went to black.
"Hi-Hina…" whispered Chiaki as Hinata's weight made her lean against the wall.
She couldn't say she hadn't seen that coming. He was in a terrible, terrible shape these last days. Even in the night, she knew he had staggered his way to the bathroom because he had been up late working without allowing himself the smallest of naps.
Her console had fallen to the ground, and so did the uniform and a key that had made a clinging noise when it had hit the ground. She couldn't care less for a console at the moment, but she couldn't bring an unconscious Hinata to the nurse's office or anywhere by herself. He felt like he was radiating under her hands.
"Nanami-san, is something wrong? We heard some noise in the corridor…" she heard her teacher's voice speaking.
"Speaking of which, have you seen our new student? I've heard the results have been announced, they must be around…"
A red-haired woman wearing an apron showed her face from the door, but her bulging eyes were the first thing Chiaki noticed.
"Who is this boy?!" she screamed.
"Huh… Our new classmate…" replied the gamer, Hinata's weight starting to be too much for her small composure.
Her teacher ran to her, panicking as she took the boy in her arms, relieving the female student from his dead weight.
"I recognize this boy… He's usually with you at the fountain after class, isn't he? What's his name again?"
"Hinata-kun…"
"Is he really your new classmate?"
"Yes…"
Chiaki's heart was sinking. She was the one to suggest these exams to him because he wanted to be proud of himself, and she truly thought he had such a counsellor talent. The class liked him because he was a good listener and adviser. But now, he was unconscious in his new teacher's arms, and she then realized why her hands would feeling abnormally hot.
Scared, she squeezed one of his hands, only to feel coldness between her fingers. His laboured breathing didn't help.
"Yukizome-sensei… Hinata-kun's running a fever, I think…"
Silently, the teacher paused and put a hand on his forehead.
"You're right, Nanami-san! We should bring him to the nurse's office!"
"S-somebody said n-nurse…?"
Timidly, Tsumiki showed up too, nervously fiddling with her fingers.
"I-is that Hinata-kun…?!" she cried as she rushed to her classmate's side. "What h-happened?!"
"He passed out on me…" simply replied the gamer.
They brought the unconscious Hinata in the classroom and gently sat him against the wall, the class staring in silence. Well, that was a weird situation. Nobody had expected a surprise diagnosis from Tsumiki anyway.
"Huh… Who's this fucker again? Can't remember his name" asked Kuzuryu, pointing out at the boy against the wall.
"Your new classmate…!" replied Yukizome, an awkward smile on her face.
"…Oh? A new hope?"
"Shut the fuck up Komaeda."
Tsumiki seemed even more panicked than before.
"W-what could have h-happened?! He's b-burning up!"
"He overworked himself… I think…" replied Chiaki, giving him a worried look.
"Isn't that because they had stupid entrance exams?" asked Kuzuryu.
"That's right!" exclaimed Yukizome. "He must have worked very much on these!"
"Too much if you ask me! Dude doesn't look good at all!" said Souda.
"We should bring him back to his room, I think… Who can help me…?" asked Chiaki around.
"I'll help you, Nanami!" screamed Nidai as he got up and took their new classmate in his arms.
"…nata-kun…?"
He couldn't see anything. His hearing was muffled, he could barely hear anything. He just knows his head is pounding, pounding, pounding. He coughed weakly, without any strength to bring his hand of elbow to his face. His whole body was feeling like stone. Cold stone. He was shivering, shivering, shivering under unending waves of chills.
His eyes could barely flutter open. What the hell had happened, he thought. Why was he aching all over his body in the first place? Who was calling out for him? Why was everything so foggy, as if his memory had left him?
"You're awake…"
Slowly, he turned his head towards the source of this soft-spoken voice. Hajime didn't need to have all his head to know it was Nanami, her own face and tone filled with worry. Why was she even here? Where was he? He didn't recognize anything around him…
"W-where… Are we…?"
"In your room… More exactly, your new room…" she replied in a whisper.
"W… What…?"
God that was so fucking confusing.
"Nanami… What the hell… Happened…?" he continued as he weakly coughed again.
"Huh… You collapsed… On me…"
"C-collapsed…?!"
As soon as he heard this word, Hajime felt adrenaline rushing in his body, suddenly getting up until his chest acted up and made him cough as if his lungs were fucking burning. His throat felt like a goddamn desert. His eyes hurt, and he was now rubbing his head as he felt a wet piece of cloth on his forehead fall on his laps.
"Not so brutally, Hinata-kun…" Nanami said as she went next to the bed, a hand on his shoulder, that he realized was pushing him to the mattress.
"I…" he barely attempted to say in protest, but his cough was too much.
"I feel like shit…" he finally said, giving in to the pain and exhaustion he had fought for days and days.
Nanami's face softly smiled at him as she wiped his face, maybe not even realizing it.
"Tsumiki-san said you had collapsed… You need to rest… You haven't slept much for days, right…?"
He was the first one surprised she was being so caring to an average guy like him. His memories were slowly coming back to him, as waves softly crashing on a beach…
"I-I have class on tomorrow… I… Can't miss my first of class…"
"Don't be that guy, please, Hinata-kun… You're exhausted…"
He looked at her for a bit, coughing in his fist, before weakly smiling at her.
"I… Feel trashed enough not to attend class…"
He couldn't lie to himself anymore. He felt awful. So awful. Like everything had abandoned him, and he was only left with everything aching, from his head to his feet, a void of energy and a want to cry. An urge to cry, to let it out, to stop feeling so pressured and keep it together. He wanted to give up. He wanted to go back to the past and prevent himself from killing himself like that. He just wanted to feel fine.
To… Feel fine…
To erase his feelings. To erase pain and sorrow. To erase exhaustion from his field of perception. To erase his train of thoughts. To suppress how much he was thinking, but if he stopped thinking, he would either feel the pain in his body more or let himself tear up and bawl like a child.
"Hinata-kun…? You're… Crying…"
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Not in front of her. Not in front of anybody, but especially not in front of her. He couldn't fucking cry. He was an Ultimate, for fuck's sake. He couldn't cry because of some exam leaving him feeling so poorly. He had done it to himself.
He was whimpering and sobbing and crying and tears were running down his cheeks and he felt miserable and he wanted everything to stop…
"I… I'm not… Crying…"
He sat up and rubbed his eyes.
"I… I'm totally crying…" he whimpered, hiding his face in his laps now retracted against his chest.
He let out a distraught giggle, filled with sorrow, as he could feel her eyes trying to find the expression on his face.
"You shouldn't… Look at me, Nanami… I'm just a mess lately… Haha... Hahahahahahaha…"
He forced himself to laugh, but he only sounded like a mask torn apart, tearing down under the pressure of a hydraulic press.
"Hahaha… Ha… Ha…" His laugh broke into more crying. "I… I wish someone would just cut it out…"
He took his head in his hands.
"I'm fucking exhausted… I just want to let go…"
"Then let go."
Nanami's sharp tone surprised him, tearing him apart from his sorrow. She got on his bed and, soon enough, that average guy was in her arms.
"Hinata-kun… It's okay to feel bad, and you've worked hard to get where you are… You can give yourself a break. No, you need to give yourself a break. You're just pushing yourself into more pain… All you're doing is closing yourself to any good vibe… That's not healthy… School is important, but so is your health… So, please, just promise me you're never gonna do something like that, okay? That's never good!"
He nodded. His cough was so wet he knew every word coming out of it would be a sob.
"That's better…"
She pulled out, grabbed a thermometer and handed it to him.
"Please…?" she yawned.
Without a word, he did what he had to do, and took his own temperature. He didn't think he was feverish until, in a shiver, he read the absurdly high number showing on the small screen.
"Huh… 40.2… That ain't good…" he replied, sneezing in the open.
Nanami got a mask out of her pockets and covered her face with it.
"Goodnight, Hinata-kun…"
She then promptly fell asleep on him. He couldn't blame her; his day had been exhausting too. Moreover, before he realized it, his eyes fluttered shut and he knew he was about to fall asleep with her. He was honestly feeling relieved for the first time in what felt like forever.
"Goodnight, Nanami…"