KamiCats
Chapter 1: The Arrival
Kakuzu raised an eye at his partner when he noticed the three squirming bulges under the Jashinist's cloak.
"Hidan?" The violet-eyed priest glared at him, trying to adjust the garment. "The fuck do you want?" he snapped. "What's under your cloak?" the Taki nin asked. "Nothing, mind your own business." Hidan grabbed at whatever was falling lower in the red-clouded fabric. Missing horrifically, a white ball of fur fell to the ground and rolled towards Kakuzu.
Green pupiless eyes met sky blue ones as Kakuzu gazed at a white kitten. Hidan scrambled towards the kitten, scooping it up with one hand and glancing somewhat defensively at his partner. "They were a gift...," the zealot said, pulling a gray and black similarly sized cat from under his cloak.
"Dear Kami…what have you done Hidan?"
Hidan let the three kittens roll onto the couch from their spot in his arms. Standing back with his arms crossed, he frowned briefly as he looked at Kakuzu. "Kuzu, what are we going to do with them?" The tanned ex-Falls nin shook his head as if to ask what kind of question that was and picked the cats back up, placing the white one on his shoulder. "Let Sasori and Zetsu examine them. They have strange chakra signatures and they keep fluxing. Or did you not notice that while you were drooling over them like a lovesick girl?" he asked, striding off to the one hallway in the base that led to the only bathroom. It took a minute for Hidan to register the insult before leaping into action after him, "Hey fuck face, take that back!"
Kakuzu stopped outside the artist's door and knocked once before sticking his head in, "Sasori?" The redheaded Puppetmaster looked up from his maintenance of Hiruko. "Yes Kakuzu?" The stitched man held up the black and gray kittens with one hand, "Could you have a look at these for me?"
A dripping wet blonde bomber walked into the room with only a towel around his waist. "Hey Kakuzu, Hidan, Danna un." Sasori only nodded his head to his younger partner. "Put some clothes on, Brat." He said, returning his attention to the cats hanging in his face.
Deidara made a face at Sasori's back, going to lie down on his bed, grabbing the white kitten off Kakuzu's shoulder where it was batting at the Taki-nin's hair. Sasori pretended not to notice his partner, instead turning back to Kakuzu. "So how exactly did you come to be in possession of three cats exactly, Kakuzu?" he asked, launching chakra strings at the white kitten to bring it into his lap. Deidara protested to this sudden lack of small fluffy thing to play with and was met by a glare from the Puppetmaster. "Get dressed and you can play with him." Sasori said.
Kakuzu hid his smirk behind his mask as he handed the redhead the other two kittens, "Hidan claims to have gotten them from an old lady we met in the village we were scouting and I have no reason not to believe him, he gets presents like this all the time. However, the chakra signatures I'm feeling from them are spiking oddly, so I wanted to check with you before we decided anything."
Sasori paused in his inspection of the gray kitten to look at Kakuzu with a raised eyebrow, "You're not considering keeping them are you? Without considering the cost of…" The stitched nin nodded to the unfinished question. "I have. The pros outweigh the cons in this situation. Even with the unnatural feeling chakra, I think it would be more helpful than harmful to the organization to keep them, due to all the stress from the Bijuu hunt. The only real setback I can see is the cost of feeding them and such." Sasori sat back and gave a shrug. "Why not make Hidan do it? He did receive them as a gift. They're his responsibility." Kakuzu snorted, leaning against the doorframe, ignoring Hidan's outraged growl at Sasori's words. "Hidan? Be responsible? You might as well ask a brick wall to talk, Sasori. It's impossible. You should see the state he leaves our room in when I'm gone." Hidan made to elbow his partner in the ribs when Kakuzu glared down at him. "Don't even think about it, Hidan."
Hidan turned around, going back down the hallway, muttering "obsessive compulsive" under his breath as he walked away.
Sasori took this chance to put the three kittens on his bed, looking over his shoulder at the closet he and Deidara shared, "Brat, what are you doing in there?" he asked, barely raising his voice to carry to his partner. Deidara's voice came back, "Looking for my shirt…ahhh!" A small crash sounded and Sasori rolled his eyes, thinking of all the possible things the brat could have torn down in there. "I'm sorry, Kakuzu, Deidara seems to have broken something. Looking for a shirt no less. I'll examine the other cats, and take them to Zetsu if I cannot find anything." Kakuzu nodded, "Thank you Sasori." Turning, the stitch nin left the puppet master and bomber's room, searching for his own partner.
As the door closed, Sasori flicked a couple of chakra strings to lock the door and turned to the closet. "Brat, how hard is FINDING CLOTHES?! Our closet simply is not that big!" Down on the floor, tangled in a couple of shirt hangers and the accompanying shirts, Deidara had enough grace to look embarrassed, dressed in only a pair of black pants. Sasori waited for Deidara to look up at him, and then grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, hauling him up to his feet. Scanning the racks of his clothes, Sasori took a blue fishnet shirt off the hanger and gave it to Deidara. "Put it on brat and come see the kittens." Without another word, he left the bomber to get dressed.
Deidara looked around the corner of the closet doorway to see Sasori playing with the black kitten's tail. "Sasori no Danna?" The white kitten he'd been playing with earlier climbed up onto the Puppetmaster's head, almost smiling when she saw Deidara. Sitting down on the bed beside his partner, Dei gently removed the kitten from the red locks she had found to lay in. "What's your name beautiful, hm?" Dei murmured, scratching her head as he leaned back against a wall littered with scorch marks. The kitten emitted a soft mrow in response to his question and he laughed. "I think I'll name you Katsu, pretty lady hm."
Sasori looked up from his actions with the cat's tail. "You know you're not going to be naming her Deidara. We don't even know if we're keeping them." He said.
The blonde shrugged, "We will. Zetsu will find nothing wrong with them. Just because there chakra's all-"
BOOM!
A loud explosion rocked the terrorist against the wall. Cerulean eyes widened in horror as he saw the new black scorch mark on the floor, wall, and bed.
"Mew…mrew…mrowwww!" Loud meowing sounded from the blast site next to Deidara's bed as the missing gray kitten, which was now pitch black like its third companion, stumbled across to plop at the artist's feet and crawl into a pile of black sheets where it feel asleep from exhaustion. Being blown up can do that to you. The black and white kittens crept close to the edge of the bed to stare at the sheets with curious eyes, small 'mews' escaping with rasps of their tiny pink tongues.
"How did that happen? I swear brat, if you explode your infernal clay in here one more time I'm making Pein give me a new partner. And I'll have a new puppet from my collection with your husk of a carcass." Sasori seethed, gathering up the three cats. "Danna, I wasn't even near the-"
"No excuses brat. Who are you trying to blame it on if not yourself? The cats?" With that, Sasori left the room, leaving behind a confused bomber and a newly burnt room.
"Zetsu…Zetsu…ZETSU! Good lord, appear you stupid stalk of broccoli!" Sasori walked around the base, peering into all of the rooms, occupied or otherwise. After seeing Kisame naked in the bathroom, the Puppetmaster decided to knock before entering. Making his way down the hallway that led to Hidan and Kakuzu's room, Sasori nearly ran into Tobi as the lollipop burst out of the Zombie twins room. "What the hell-" Sasori growled, grabbing the younger member by the shirt before he got too far away. "Where's your partner?" he asked, shaking Tobi. Stammering, Tobi uttered only a few words, "The g-garden S-Sasori-san. Please, don't kill Tobi!" Rolling his eyes, Sasori let him go, continuing to the back of the hideout where the Akatsuki's resident plant man was taking root.
Sun rays, cactus, chlorophyll….food?
For the first time in many months, Zetsu was taking a break and letting his leaves unfurl. Shedding the red and black cloak of the organization, he rooted in the middle of the patch of dirt he'd placed in the greenhouse, opened the sun roof and let the rays hit his shoulders. Several hours had passed since he'd done this when he'd smelled something…not quite leafy and green. Ohhh…it was meat. Hot, juicy, bloody meat.
The grass nin started salivating at the thought of crunching bones and gnawing at flesh and muscle saturated in blood…
Stop it.
An annoyed huff came from Zetsu's lips as his other half talked, stopping the delicious thoughts running through his head.
No one asked you to provide commentary.
Well clearly, you needed some before you took us on a rampage through the base to eat everyone.
You know you would have enjoyed it. Now just shut up and open the goddamn door so we can see who our delicious guests are.
Melting into the ground, he walked under the earth, resurfacing in front of the glass entrance. Unlocking it, the split-personality plant came face to face with a very annoyed Sasori.
"Yes Akasuna? What would you like-Have you brought us food? We smelled meat…" Growling in disgust at the plant's food comment, Sasori thrust the three small furry things at him. "These-" he said, unwrapping the gray one from around his wrist, "are kittens Hidan received during his last mission. Kakuzu wants you to check their chakra for any abnormalities. It seems to spike unusually high but I've not noticed any extreme side effects. Then again, you'd know what to look for more than me. Give them back to Kakuzu when you're done, or Hidan. I'm sure he's wandering around somewhere." The Puppetmaster left, feeling his task of delivering the bundles, done.
Zetsu raised an eyebrow at the moving kittens in his arms. "He wants us to examine you edible little morsels?" A rolling rumble came from the black kitten as it locked amber eyes with Zetsu's yellow orbs and put a paw on his chest. As soon as the white claw's touched the flesh over his ribs, his world went black.
A/N: I FINALLY FOUND THE END OF THIS CHAPTER! Due to missing the final edit of the scene with Zetsu, I've put the story on Hiatus but now that I've found it, we shall continue!
A big thanks to xXIvoryElephantXx, DragonCrazy09, and xBUzzOFF15x for reviewing. I'm trying to keep the story as non-copied and non-cliche as possible. Please do tell me if it's starting to lean that way.
Next chapter we get the kitten's "names" as decided by the members and the backstory as to how they got there.
Until next time, I remain your faithful author, Blair.