Author's Note: I didn't really like the choice of females picked out for Artemis Fowl in the last two books. So I decided to create someone that was not an almost Mary Sue or not outside of Artemis' species. I'd really love it if you could stick through reading this and tell me if I've succeeded in the end. (And yes, in case you wanted to know, this fanfic is to tide me over from the pairing in The Time Paradox.) By the way, this chapter may be a little slow, because things are only just starting for Artemis Fowl…

Chapter One

The Fowl family was walking in the grounds, holding hands.

Well, Artemis Fowl senior and Angeline Fowl were holding hands. Not Artemis Fowl and Second so much. The fourteen-year-old boy was not up to clasping hands with another person. As a toddler he had learned to walk using the walls in his nursery as support.

So there he was, lagging slightly behind his parents. Although "slightly" is quite the understatement. It wasn't that he did not want to walk beside his parents; they were engaged in a quiet conversation and he thought it better not to be able to hear anything. Just in case.

"Come along, Arty," Angeline Fowl called over her shoulder. She and her husband stopped walking, waiting for their son to catch up.

Artemis caught up with his parents. "What is the matter, Mother?" he inquired.

"Does something have to be wrong for us to want you to walk with us?" Artemis Senior asked, teasing, but Artemis could see that there was something bothering his father.

"Not exactly, but Mother and you have been talking in low voices for quite a while before calling for me," he said. "So I gathered that something was the matter."

Angeline laughed. "He's got you there, Timmy," she said, ruffling her son's raven hair. Artemis generally did not like his hair messed up, but for once he did not feel compelled to ask his mother to stop.

"There is something that is of the matter," his father admitted. "But it's quite a small one."

Artemis nodded, waiting for his father to continue.

"Ever since my return from Russia, you've always been at school," Artemis Senior explained. "Especially since I have been fixed with my prosthetic leg" – he patted the leg fondly – "and there is nothing else but the occasional check-up, life is finally back to normal." He gave his son a smile.

Even as his father spoke, Artemis could feel the fairy communicator under his jacket, and hid a grin. Back to normal? There was no chance in the world of that happening.

"We would really like to have you back with us for most of the week," Angeline explained, smiling down at her son. "Remember the discussion we had over the phone when you were in Munich? It's the holidays, and I think there is no better time than now to switch to a local day school. What do you think, Arty?"

It would be impossible to list out everything Artemis was thinking at the moment, but what he said was, "I think that is a wonderful idea."

--

Switching schools would be one of the best moves at this point of time. Artemis, after his extended adventures with Captain Holly Short, formerly of the Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance Unit, and Mulch Diggums, ex-convict, had decided that friendship wasn't quite as beyond him as it previously used to be – well, with anyone other than Butler, that is – and in his remaining days of school he was more civil than usual with his classmates. Even the cretinous ones whose mental functions were up to blurting stupid comments and reading Playboy.

What happened was that the majority of the students at Saint Bartleby's Insitute for Young Gentlemen were spooked with the 'Fowl kid' suddenly being almost agreeable towards them, and avoided him even more. His teachers were surprised by the change in his behaviour, and treated him with wary glances. It would be nice to be able to start from scratch again. And so Artemis was going to take up the offer. When the holidays ended he would be in Ethelwood Secondary School.

Pity it was around the same time that his hormones, so dormant before, decided to play a more active role in his life…

--

Butler turned the Bentley into the school gates. They weren't as impressive as those at Saint Bartleby's were, but, Artemis decided, they would have to do. He smoothed down the front of his school blazer and straightened his tie. Butler glanced at him.

"How are you feeling, Artemis?"

"Reasonably well," the boy said. A lie. He was feeling decidedly nervous, which was rather uncharacteristic of him. Butler seemed to sense his discomfort and chuckled.

"It's all right to feel tense," the bodyguard said. "Normal people feel it all the time, you know."

"I'm not exactly normal," Artemis said. It was a great conversational stopper, and Artemis didn't feel much like talking presently. Butler took the hint, and there was no more talking until the car pulled up at a parking lot in the school's car park.

Butler made to get out of the car, but was halted by his young employer.

"I think I can deal with the registrations myself."

He was treated to a look of doubt from Butler. "Are you sure…?"

"Perfectly," Artemis said testily.

Butler checked the compound. There were plenty of security guards around; this was, after all, a school for the rich kids of rich millionaires. Now, he didn't generally trust security guards, but he decided to give those the benefit of the doubt. "You're not going to cut school and raid banks of art thieves, are you? With Mr. Diggums, perhaps? The dwarf may have become an investigator now, but I wouldn't put it past him."

Artemis smiled. "Tempting, but no, nothing of the sort, old friend. It's just that… you might attract a little attention."

Butler understood. The school compound was littered with teenagers. And while most of them had their ears plugged with their iPods, none of them had their two-metre tall Eurasian bodyguards with them.

"I'll come by to pick you up after school, then?"

"If you're free," said Artemis with just the barest hint of a smirk. "And if you don't mind, please bring along something tasteful. I have researched on day schools, and cafeteria food seems to be of a hazardous nature in most schools."

"Your parents enrolled you in the best local day school, Artemis."

"I wouldn't put it past the warped minds of school governors," was the reply, and then Artemis exited with his suitcase. Butler watched as his charge passed his teenaged counterparts, shoulders back, head held high. His posture was perfect as always, but, with the hoards of slouching teenagers around him, he looked aloof.

Butler sincerely hoped that Artemis would make some friends. Friends his own age, of his own species. It might be a little hard at first, because Artemis had not much experience in the friends department. Besides, Artemis had only just recently developed some interpersonal skills.

But when Artemis put his mind to something, that something generally got done. And Butler had no doubt that if Artemis put his mind to it, he would be (after an uncertain amount of time) surrounded by a crowd of adoring friends, all hanging on to the heir's every last word.

It was only too unfortunate that sometimes the boy's brain got the better of himself.