The cold, dark shafts of Irk, the throne world of the Irken Empire, lead to a variety of regions that retain vast significance. One of these locations is Smeet Breeding Center M-1278.
It was here that among the many Procreation Tubes, existed one that was ready to be hatched. A fate that would not befall the other Smeets, because of the actions of this very individual.
The facility Control Brain recognized that this Smeet was ready to be hatched and let down a robotic arm. The arm pulled the large green tube out of the wall, revealing a small green child of Irk to be revealed resting in the artificial womb.
The arm cracked open the tube, and the child fell onto the cold, metal floor of the smeetery. It then proceeded to attach a round devise to its back, before shocking the Irken with an electrical pulse, bringing him to life.
"Welcome to life Irken child, report for duty." uttered the Control Brain.
The Smeet merely looked upon its surroundings for a moment before jumping up to the claw and latching onto it.
"I love you cold, unfeeling robot arm!" the newly hatched Smeet said.
The Control Brain operating the arm paid no mind to the tiny Irken's show of affection and sent a vacuum tube down to pull the Irken up into the next stage of its development.
"Hey what are you.. Owies that hurt!" the tiny creature said as he thrashed about in the tube letting out a variety of displays of pain before landing in a small, confined area filled with electronics.
One of the computers let down a cord which then connected to the Irken's Pak.
"Welcome to your existence Irken Smeet." a dark, computerized voice said within the confines of the Smeet's mind.
"You are now another part of the massive Irken war machine that spans the Universe. Your designation is Zim, and you will soon join the masses as you build upon our history, culture, and military. But first you must learn of the origins and past of these subjects."
Zim closed his eyes to reveal an expansive void of darkness be filled with the knowledge of the Control Brain.
Since the dawn of its existence the Irken civilization has been founded upon the principals of height.
The tallest Irkens in society are chosen to rule as the Almighty Tallest, a title that grants this Irken absolute power, over the other inferior Irkens. As for shorter Irkens, their status is largely insignificant to the Empire and are to be treated as expendable.
Control Brains, such as the one interfacing with this unit at the moment, manage the logistics and laws of the Irken Empire.
Our programming pertains to upholding Irken ideals and we may even override the rulings of a Tallest if their actions are seen as being a detriment to Irk and its citizens.
The commanding purpose of the Empire is to conquer and rule every planet and life form in the Universe by any means necessary.
I shall now cast a general overview of the roles within our military to better forward your understanding of the subject..
High Command & Leadership:
Almighty Tallest- The tallest rule over the entirety of the Irken Empire and subsequently over its Military assets.
Control Brains- The Control Brains are responsible for maintaining nearly every aspect of the Empire under the general command of the Tallest, provided that their plans will be efficient enough to accomplish Irken goals of conquest.
Advisor- These are specially bred Irkens who are held with the responsibility of informing the Tallest of certain information as well as carrying out their commands. This responsibility can also be taken by the second tallest Irken.
Irken High Commander- High commanders are responsible for coordinating the Irken effort to conquer the Universe and reside on Irk, where they perform their duties in Irken High Command centers. They are managed by Control Brains.
Admirals- The Admirals command the various Irken Armadas, and their fleets.
Fleet Commander- They command individual fleets that are tasked with conquering planets.
General- Generals are individuals tasked with the conquest of planets on the ground.
Soldiers & Navy Officers:
Irken Invader: Invaders are elite soldiers given the task of conquering key enemy planets. Their skills, along with their highly advanced technology allow these soldiers to single handedly conquer planets in some situations. The mission of the invaders are to gather enough information on their assigned planet to make it susceptible to an Invasion. During these operations, an Armada comes to the planet to rid it of life to make way for a specifically assigned purpose. Then the planets surrounding the primary one are conquered by the hundreds of fleet divisions to the Armada. The entirety of the operation is managed by the invader who was initially sent their.
He or she coordinates with other Elite Irkens and commanders to conquer the entire system and bring it under Irken control. These are the soldiers that every other elite aspires to become and are seated highly among the hierarchy of the Empire. To become an Invader, one must be skilled in both the body and mind.
Irken Elite: The Irken Elite, the best of which become invaders, are tasked with high level war operations, as well as providing assistance to the Invaders during their mission to invade the enemy.
Sovereign Protectors- These are the tallest of the Irken Elite, and are tasked with protecting and carrying out the wishes of the Tallest and other high level subordinates.
Spec Ops: The Special operations division of the Irken military is tasked with carrying out operations that require stealth, and discrete methods of execution.
Guards: These are Irken soldiers that are usually tasked with protecting Irken ships and structures, handling prisoners, driving slaves, and generally act as an occupation force for conquered planets.
Pilots/Navigators- These Irkens operate both land and space vehicles for nearly every variety of war craft that isn't autonomous.
Robot Trooper- Robots are used to operate a vast majority of land vehicles, and can be used as auxiliary soldiers if necessary. They also carry out tasks such as navigation, information retrieval, and etc.
Soldiers- They are used in the land conquest of planets.
Scientist/engineer- These Irkens use scientific principals to devise new and destructive forms of weaponry for the Irken Empire.
The cord attached to Zim's back retracted and was followed by the computer's command, "Irken Zim, report to advanced orientation for assigning."
The small Irken simply blinked. "What?! No! I wanna learn more, you can't make the ALMIGHTY ZIM LEAVE!" he shouted.
It was just then that another Smeet came out the same shoot he did before. This Irken was already much taller than Zim was, and looked as he had a thing for the color red.
"Hey!" he said, "You can't be in here! Its my turn, the cold, unfeeling robot arm said sooo!"
Zim turned towards the other Irken, infuriated. "I will do nothing you say! Stink baby!"
The features of the red Irken Smeet hardened, and it was at that moment that the little 'stink baby' felt the first of what would turn into a very very very long an annoying relationship.
"Don't call me that! And… wait what are you doing!" the Smeet shouted as Zim proceeded to rip into the control panel and fiddle with the wires, scouring the room with electricity.
"Must… Have the know-hows!" Zim said before he was made unconscious by the constant stream of energy now pouring from the charred wire.
Across the entire breeding center, countless development pods went dark and the rest of the Irken metropolis above did as well.
In this decade long darkness, there weren't many comforters. The occasional shuffle of the wind of the thick Irken atmosphere, or perhaps the now frequent sigh of an explosion or scream riddled amongst the darkness.
But one thing was for certain Zim was still alive, and moreover he was dreaming. Not in the sense of sleep of course but rather a sort of…plotting. And in this plotting there existed doom.
Lots and lots of horrifyingly delicious nightmare inducing doom served by none other than the diaper covered future destroyer of worlds Invader Zim!
Authors Note: Alright so now that we got that crazy stuff out of the way I would like to introduce myself.
I. AM. THE. IMPERIALLOYALIST!
See it just rolls off your horribly disgusting tongue doesn't it!
Anyhow I'd like to explain myself a little bit. You see I this wonderfully mutilating cartoon a few years ago and I've been fascinated by its lore, characters and the completely foreign humor it presented. But whats interested me almost as much is this fan base. I've been using the internet for a long time and this fandom, especially on this website in particular, has always struck me as strange but then again I'm also strange! Getting back to the task at hand, after a very long and hard meditation (5 month long fetal position where I did nothing but sit and think about how much I hate spoons) I decided to be a part of it!
Now this is probably making you want to tear your face lids in half like the ugly beast-humans you are so let me put it this way.
I am relatively new to the whole fan fiction thing so I would appreciate all of you who bothered to check out this story to review it. Now when I say "review" I don't mean simply putting a quick comment saying " it's a little plebby but tis kinda gyd" I mean giving detailed bashing and praise where it is due. This is not required and honestly you can do whatever the hell you want but a little criticism tempered with love would be nice.
This is especially true with the whole comedy side of things as well. I do not consider myself a comedian by any means and I tend to like big words and complicated plots. But I will try as HARD as I can to implement humor into this story, but again criticism is key.
As for the story itself I'd also like to clear up some more things! (isn't this fun!)
First off this is a story about Zim's origins and is meant to expand upon the canon of the show while also adding in a few changes here and there just to make things more interesting. And I have been reading stories on this website for long enough to know that some of you just want to see pairings between characters.
If you are one of these people you probably saw the names Zim and Tak in the same story and assumed they were going to automatically become butt-buddies or something. So I'm going to say right now that there will be no romance in this story, it just doesn't fit with Zim cannon.
HOWEVER, I am planning on turning this into a series and I am entirely open to making something like this IF it took place in the future after the Show's end. But until then see you guys in the FUTURE!