The Gossips

Proposal

"Nami-san, I'm so happy you're all right. I thank the heavens that I saved you in time from that monstrous fiend!"

"Huh?" Nami blinked at him, "It was you that saved me, Sanji-kun?"

Sanji blinked, "You … didn't know?"

"She was knocked out, remember?" Usopp said.

"Huh!? Someone knocked her up!?" Luffy and Chopper sat up, slamming the table.

Slapping the air, Franky said, "You heard that wrong!"

"Phew! Thank goodness," Chopper said, "I don't think I'm ready to deliver a human baby. I don't have any of the material, and Doctorine's the one that dealt with mid-wives."

Luffy picked his nose, "Oh, well, that's good."

Sweating nervously, Nami patted Chopper's delighted little head, "Gee, thanks?"

Sanji knelt down onto his knees, praising her, "Ah, but Nami-san would be a goddess if she actually were to be pregnant … Not with that cursed lecher's child though!"

Usopp sweated, "Hypocrite. You're being a hypocrite …"

"Hm," Nami said, "he's definitely not my type anyway."

"Nami-san-!"

"Nope."

"Ouch," Usopp and Luffy winced, watching as Sanji dropped to his hands and knees.

Robin giggled softly, setting down her coffee, "So what is your type?"

Lurching to her feet, berry signs appeared in Nami's eyes as she clasped her hands together, "I'm going to marry the richest man in the world!"

Brook touched his cheekbone, surprised, "Ah! Who would have guessed?"

"We did," the others – sans Sanji – said.

"Nami-chan, if that's true," Robin said, "then isn't your future husband here?" When Nami frowned questioningly at her, Robin said, "When Luffy becomes the Pirate King, he'll be the richest man in the world, right?"

"Oh, she's right!" Turning, Nami pointed at him, and Luffy's jaw actually dropped to the floor, "I'll marry you then."

"What!? No way!"

"To the shitty captain!?"

Reaching over, she grabbed Luffy's nose, and yanked on it before releasing it into his face, "It's already settled! I'm marrying the richest man in the world, and you're going to be the Pirate King! We're getting married when that happens, got it, Captain?"

"You can't be serious!" The rest of the crew only watched on in wide-eyed horror or wonder as they faced each other, "And what kind of proposal is that!? I've gotten better!"

"You're never going to do better than me, Monkey D. Luffy!" Suddenly facing away, she said, "Ah, I like the sound of it already. Monkey Nami!"

"Quit it!"

"I'm not changing my mind on this matter," she smiled – rather creepily if one would ask Luffy, "dear."

Luffy said, "It's not funny anymore, Nami!"

Grabbing his shirt, she seemed to exude doom onto him, "Who's laughing?"

As he heard the resident chef peel into sobs, Luffy felt like crying too.

!#&()+

Zoro burst out into raucous laughter when he heard the news, sometimes pointing at Sanji and sometimes at Luffy, but he mostly just guffawed. He said, "I thought you said only someone extremely brave would marry that woman! Nothing changed, right, Captain?"

"I did say that! Nami's not listening to me!"

Chopper raised his hoof, "Luffy, when you want human babies-"

"We're not getting married, and we're not having kids!"

Sanji bit his collar, "It's not fair, Nami-swan!"

"If she was listening to me, I'd make her marry you instead!" Luffy said. "You either got to be brave or brain-dead to marry her!"

"Shit face, I don't want to hear that from you!"

"Brain-dead fits you perfectly though, Luffy," Usopp said, and sweated as Luffy's eyes bulged out in realization.

"I take it back!"

Franky finally set down his Cola with a wide grin, "Oi, Straw Hat, calm down. Look on the bright side. Sister Nami's a right fine woman."

He scoffed, "Yeah, but would you want to bed her?"

"Good luck, Straw Hat!"

"Answer me!"

Laughing, Usopp patted Luffy's shoulder, "Hey, he's right, you know. Don't you think she's gorgeous?"

"She's cute, but that's all she's got going for her," Luffy said. "I'd shrivel up and die on our honeymoon – she'd sap the life right out of me. Like what that croc did! She's a witch!"

"But, Luffy! If you do ever want human babies-!"

"I don't wanna!"

Zoro rubbed his chin, "Well, even so, he'd have to worry about what she'd charge him too. I don't think even a wedding ring would cull that woman's lust for money."

"Ah!?" Franky banged his fist down, "You think she'd charge him even if they were married!?"

"That's awful! I don't wanna!"

Usopp thumbed his nose, "I bet it's a hefty price to make her carry a child of the infamous Pirate King too."

Luffy stamped his foot, "I'm not paying Nami anything!"

"So you'd do it?"

"Hell no!"

"Yohoho! The lovely Nami as a bedmate would be a fine thing. Seeing her in her panties all the time … Why if I-"

They shouted at Brook, "No Skull Joke!"

Abruptly the door to the men's bunker opened, and they looked up to see Nami looming in the doorway, "Shut your mouths in there! We're trying to get some sleep!"

"Nami, I'm not marrying you!"

"You don't have a choice in the matter!"

"Marry Zoro instead! He'll be the best swordsman in the world! Isn't that something?"

"And still dirt poor! I wouldn't touch him with all of my clothes on and with a ten-foot pole! You're my future husband, and that's final!" She slammed the door shut.

"Mellorine …?"

!#&()+

No, I haven't abandoned Dreamless or anything… I might just put TWOO on hiatus though. I'll find some time to sit down and watch that movie during the summer, and hopefully, I'll get inspired again, so don't worry. This story, however, is just for fun, so sorry, but they'll be short chapters.

!#&()+