A/N For a while now I've been wanting to write a kind of angst(y) type of vauseman and I now have the time/motivation to do so. Also I have my other story I Love College on wattpad now so I'll be updating, hopefully frequently on both sites. {dotted lines symbolize change of pov} Without further ado, buckle your seat belts, and make sure you have an oxygen mask ready to go because this is gonna be one hell of a ride.

Chapter 1

Hiding the hurt, hiding the pain

Hiding the tears that fall like rain.

Saying I'm fine, when I'm anything but,

This ache in my soul rips at my gut.

My skin is on fire, I burn from within.

The calm on my face is an ongoing sin.

The world must stay out, I've built up a wall.

My fragile lie will collapse should it ever fall.

Loneliness consumes me, it eats away the years

Until my life is swallowed by unending fears.

Waiting for someone to see I wear a mask

And care enough to remove it, is that too much to ask?

"God Piper, you need to think about your future. The successful kids you'll have with the lovely gentleman from the Thompsons family!"

"I don't want him, you guys don't know what it's like to be forced into doing things you never wanted to do. I'm 24-I'm an adult… why do you still feel the need to control me!" I yelled back, clenching my fists together whilst my father and mom sat at the table across from me.

The walls were starting to close in slowly and everything went small with the exception of my parents…no-they grew bigger. I was just a speck compared to them. As they grew and I shrunk, my dad reached across the table, the only thing that was dividing us. The events happening around me felt all too familiar, I had a sense of what he was going to do next. Automatically I rose my hands up, wrapping them around my head hoping it would somehow protect me from his next action. I was wrong, I always was…he is obviously stronger than me and easily pushes my hands away from my face and takes it as a chance to punch me, multiple times causing me to bleed. I continuously screamed till I felt both of my lungs collapse from the lack of oxygen, I screamed for my older brother Danny, I screamed for my younger brother Cal but just like all the other times, they were nowhere to be seen. Everything started to fade to white slowly then it turned pitch black, an annoying beeping sound could be heard in the distance. Just another bad dream…

10:21 a.m.

I woke up breathing heavier than usual and numerous tear streaks running down in all sorts of directions on my face. It was just a nightmare…I was slightly sweating which made me groan in disgust but I guess it didn't matter because I had to take a shower anyway for work later. Looking over to my right there was already a small glass of water along with one dose of Zoloft waiting for me on my night stand. Looks like my mind knew I was going to have a bad dream last night. Taking the pill quickly I got off my bed and started gathering my work uniform for the day.

I had go to work in a little less than 2 hours. Now my job isn't exactly the greatest job in the world but, I needed the money to afford my apartment and help keep food on the table. I work at a slightly modern bowling alley down in Manhattan, not too far from where I live which was exceptional for me. I made my way towards my bathroom after gathering my work clothes and began to start up the shower.

2 hours pass by like seconds and I rush out of my door to head to work…

. . . . .

12:15 p.m.

Waking up to the sound of my iPhone alarm is definitely the most annoying part of my morning, the second is going to work but thankfully my shift at the records store doesn't start till 4. It's days like these where I'm not really productive and I have no problem with staying at home and watching TV all day but, I need the money and I'm surrounded by the genre of music that I love at work. Rock-classic Rock as in AC/DC, Aerosmith, Metallica, Def Leppard, Led Zeppelin and many more legends.

While walking towards my kitchen, I was able to take a glance at myself in the guest bathroom mirror; messy hair, black tank top with red flannel pajama bottoms…yep my outfit screamed "definitely going to slack off today" quite clearly. Opening up my fridge I see nothing but bags of left overs and an already torn up package of water bottles, I sigh as I close the fridge turning around to open one of my cupboards, in need of a cup for my regular afternoon coffee. Finding one I turned around setting my cup underneath the coffee machine. In the mean time I made my way over to my bathroom to take a shower before work started.

3 Hours Later

At my work we don't really have a dress code, just wear what you want as long as you show up and make them money. It's a good hang out spot in my opinion but, many seem to disagree.

Once I left my apartment I began walking towards the records store, I was an hour early for my shift because I wanted to spend some time looking at the new shipment of records that came in last Saturday. I was wearing black boots, black lightly faded skinny jeans, and a black hoodie if you haven't already guessed one of my favorite colors yet then you must be blind.

Walking in with my hands in my jacket I already noticed that the place was starting to get more and more busier by the days. I could count at least 10 people waiting or walking around the store once I entered, thank god a popular rock station shouted out the store recently.

I took my time walking around, looking at the shelves that held the recent record shipments. Already I recognized a few bands off the bat and a couple of other bands that I was completely unfamiliar with, they must have been some sort local band hoping to top the charts eventually, I gave 'em a go and placed the record in a record player that was placed in a corner along with couches that lined up around it.

After less than 2 minutes into the song I immediately stopped it. Jesus fucking Christ that was awful, I already grabbed a different album that caught my eye earlier when I entered the shop. I threw the dreadful record that I was just listening to in the garbage, I made a weird face in disgust, Who the fuck names a band "The Death Monkeys," at least you can say that I gave them a chance.

Since I've been roaming around for a while, by the time I got to the line there was hardly anyone. I stood there

Oooof

I stumbled..

"Watch where you're going asshole!" I spat as I glared at the person who bumped into me a second ago, it was a girl.

"Excuse me?" she asked in a confused {raised} tone but before I had the chance to reply she had already darted out the door like a cheetah. I had a confused look planted on my face, I furrowed my eyebrows together…Well ok then

"Alex! Hey you're here a bit early" I snapped back to reality once I heard my name, one of my co-workers greeted me as I placed my item on the counter…

"Hey!"

. . . . .

I was on my late lunch break at work, there was a local records store nearby and I thought why not go just to kill over the left over time I have

Walking in I immediately was amazed at how well and nice the store looked. Shelves and shelves of different records, different genres, different artists, thousands of them. The place didn't even smell bad like a few others that I've been to. It was well lit and there was a seating lounge against the walls along with a record player in the corner, I assumed a lot of teenagers would hang out there listening to music...who wouldn't? Music was the only escape from the real world…

I wondered around and I found 2 records that I ahd an interest in, I took my phone out and looked at the time

3:32 p.m.

Shit! I silently cursed to myself, I looked at the line and there was 4 people waiting behind a girl with dark hair…I only had 5 minutes before my break was over and had to go back to the bowling alley, looks like the records had to wait.

I sped towards the entrance, placing the records in their proper place as I walked. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings when…

Hmmmff

I stumbled backwards from the impact but, before I had the chance to say "I'm sorry" to the person I bumped into, the person spoke before I had the chance catching me off guard.

"Watch where you're going asshole!" she spat angrily, my heart began twisting and turning and my stomach along with my mood dropped…

"Excuse me?" I said raising my voice, ugh I had not time to deal with this. I probably had only 3 minutes to get back to work now so because of that reason I sprinted out of the store.

Thankfully I made it back in time because I would've had a golden ticket to my boss's office, he takes everything a little bit more serious than things need to be. I couldn't help myself but to think about the encounter I had at the record store, it made me sink down to their level…but it also made me think about what they said "Asshole"…

I'm used to being called names, the list goes on but, for some reason this one was on my top 10 most hurtful ones. It made me feel worthless, like the person told me what type of person I was before even getting to know me.

I felt a familiar urge beginning to make its appearance; I began starting to lightly scratch my left arm, going lower and lower by the second until I stopped at my wrists. I pulled my long sleeve down more and focused my gazed on the bowling pins that were getting knocked down one by one hoping it would keep my mind off things…no-it only made things worse but I couldn't do this at work so I had to suck it up and mask my emotions until my shift was over…

10:14 p.m.

Want to do something scary? Go to bed early and be alone with your thoughts. It's been a repetitive pattern when it came time to leave work and go home. I walked in kicking my shoes off and immediately removing my shirt, standing there only with my bra and pants on. I ran my hands through my hair, sighing as I did so.

The same events that replayed in my head earlier at work started to come back into my mind; Asshole…asshole…asshole…

"ASSHOLE!"

I kicked the nightstand that was next to my couch in the living room, it already had multiple kick markings stamped all over it…forcing myself to remember nights like these. I nearly sprinted towards my room and once I was there I dropped to my knees sobbing. My throat tightened and it was getting more and more difficult to breathe, my chest began aching and my fingers started to twitch once my sobs slowly turned into silent screams. I felt myself transforming to my body 2 weeks ago when I was at my parent's house, I have no idea why I convinced myself that it would be some sort of closure if I went over there and talked to them…it went the exact opposite of how it was supposed to go.

Heat started to rise to a particular spot on my face to the point where it felt like boiling water was being poured on my face. I stood up, quickly rushing to my bathroom mirror only to see the reflection in front of me looking nothing like me. Bruises started to form and made their presence known, a busted lip also decided to join and as if that wasn't enough to cause me to have a severe anxiety attack, blood started to drip from my lips. I lifted my hand up and placed it on my mouth lightly then fixed my gaze on my hand, it was all covered in blood…so…much…blood.

I turned my back to the mirror and slid down to the cold tile floor, I looked back down at my hand and saw nothing…no blood-no nothing. The sharp pain in my heart came back to me in full force causing me to place my hand over it, my tears kept coming like a river it didn't seem like they were going to stop soon. I wanted all of this to end so I could be ok for once but, that's something that you and I both know will never…happen…ever.

A/N Hopefully this gives you a sense of what type of person Piper is. You'll see the way Alex is in the next chapter so sit tight. I already have the plots for chapters 2-6 but, for that to happen I need to know if you guys like the story !

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