Part One: Ana

Ana sat across from him in the intimate little restaurant, the glass of wine cooling her hot palm.

"I don't know what to order," he murmured more to himself than to her, running his fingertips along his jaw as he stared intently at the menu in his hands.

"The tuna here is delicious. One of my favorite meals," she said with a shrug, half offering it as a way of a suggestion as she folded her menu back up and set it down in front of her. That was what she ordered when she came here with Kate. When she came with Christian, he always ordered them the lamb, which was delicious, but not as good as the tuna.

"Yeah?" he asked, looking up at her, his eyes sparkling, matching the perfect teeth showing as he smiled.

She smiled, nodding.

"Well, I trust your judgement, Ana," he said with a simple finality, folding his own menu and placing it on the table in front of him. The waiter took his cue, sliding in front of the table to take the orders. Ana was almost shocked when Matt gave the waiter a pleasant smile, requesting two tuna entrees and a refill on the wine.

He ordered them their entrees, having taken her advice about what sounded good. He thanked the waiter kindly, sending him off with an appreciative smile. His eyes met Ana's once they were alone again, a blush creeping across her cheeks as he smiled at her in admiration.

She and Matt had been working closely together for a couple of months now. She'd convinced Christian to take on another publishing company, buying them out and merging them with Grey Publishing. He'd been unsure, but she'd insisted, saying she knew the company, knew the employees and the clientele and knew that if only they had different owners, the place would flourish. The only reason Heart Publishing had been struggling was because the owner didn't care. She was the widow of Evan Heart, the man who had started the company based off a whim and a love of books thirty years ago. But Mrs. Heart didn't share her husband's love of literature, and when he passed, Heart Publishing felt the hit of being run by someone lacking passion for the business. Ana wanted to save it, save the employees, save the spirit Heart Publishing once held. So in the end, Christian had agreed. He'd bought it and handed it over to his wife/CEO of Grey Publishing to manage. And so she'd been doing just that. She'd kept on most of the staff, working closely with Matthew Jameson, the Editor in Chief of the newly acquired company.

And he'd been so easy to work with. He was beyond grateful for the opportunity to help revitalize the company he loved. He'd risen through the ranks, becoming Editor in Chief two years ago when he was just thirty-two. His love and passion for the business rivaled her own, and Ana found herself jealous that he'd maintained an active hand in actual editing, while she had been relegated to business management at GP. All she'd ever wanted to do was edit, and she'd spent very little time doing that before Christian had thrust her into the position she now held.

"We got Adrian Amaro," Matt said nonchalantly, just a beat after the waiter had delivered their food, like it was an afterthought.

Ana froze, fork midway to her lips as she tried to make sense of the words he'd just spoke. She must have heard them wrong. Because even if they'd been true, he should be shouting it from the rooftops, not quietly muttering it to her across the table. Adrian Amaro was the hottest sought after author out there right now. He'd been shopping his work everywhere, but everyone knew he would end up at one of the big-name houses where he would be awarded the most money. GP just couldn't offer him that at this time, not to the extent he wanted. So, while she and Matt had pitched to him a brilliant presentation about why their soulful company was the best place for Mr. Amaro to land, Ana hadn't held any real stock in the idea that he'd sign with them.

Her eyes locked on Matt's, his lips slowly spreading into a small smile, then a full blown grin as she sat dumbfounded across from him.

"We… got Adrian Amaro," Ana stated more than asked.

The silly enthusiastic nod she received from him reminded her of a bobble head. It was laced with such pure excitement.

"We. Got. Adrian. Amaro."

"Oh my God," Ana breathed out, standing up and launching herself into Matt's arms. "I can't believe it! When did you find out?"

"Today. He called. Said he was sick of being pitched to based off of spreadsheets and financial reports. He wanted his baby to be loved, and he just knew we were the ones to love her."

"I can't believe you snagged him, Matt. You're amazing!"

"No me. We, Ana."

"No. I just helped finesse the details. You came up with the whole pitch. Your passion for this job is what attracted him. Me? I am the business side of this company. I represent everything the big companies do. But you- you're the heart, and that's what attracted him to us."

It was then that Ana saw Sawyer from the corner of her eye, a small frown marring his normally stoic features. His eyes flicked back and forth between Ana and Matt, and that was when she'd realized she was still so close to him, hands locked on his forearms, bodies mere centimeters away.

Smoothly she pulled back, making it seem casual that she was ever there in the first place.

That hug had meant nothing.

Wrong.

That hug had meant everything. That hug had put ideas in Ana's head. That hug had Ana thinking about Matt constantly. While at work. While at home. While in bed with her husband. Ever since meeting him, she'd thought about Matt. But before that hug, she'd been able to explain it away as friendly admiration. But something clicked that day in the restaurant. Something that shifted her outlook on him to something much less innocent. Matt was kind. He was sweet and fun and so very easy going. She was able to relax with him, truly be herself in a way she hadn't ever been able to before. He understood her. He respected her.

And he was handsome. God, was he handsome. The phrase 'tall dark and handsome' was invented for Matt. He towered over her, built solid but lean with tan skin and dark brown hair. He had beautifully intense dark eyes and a cut jaw that induced more than several fantasies about running her tongue across it.

So yes, that hug was no plain hug. That hug was the catalyst everything- for her feelings- for why she was currently awake at one in the morning, sitting in her hotel room, contemplating knocking on Matt's door, just one room over.

Over and over she played out the last miserable years of her marriage in her mind. She played out Christian's coldness, his aloofness. She mulled over the possibility of him having had an affair, maybe with a submissive, maybe with someone with whom he'd given more. Whether or not he'd been intimate with anyone, he'd certainly, at the very least, had an emotional affair with Elena. And the idea of him loving Ana anymore seemed very improbable.

Slowly her twirled her wedding ring around her finger, thinking about what it meant, the promises it represented. But their life was not the fairy tale it had seemed to be the day Christian placed this on her finger. It was sad and pathetic. It was empty.

Sliding the rings off her finger, she set them on the night table to the left of her bed. Her bare toes pressed into the floral carpeted hallway floor as she walked the ten or fifteen feet to the next room. She took a deep, cleansing breath before knocking on the door with the big, gold '502' on the front.

It took a moment, but Matt grunted as he opened the door, finding Ana standing there, her body clad in a matching rose gold silky camisole and short set, her hair cascading over her right shoulder, her bottom lip trapped between her perfect white teeth.

No words were spoken. His eyes widened and darkened. His posture straightened. His pants grew tight.

He reached for her hand, took it gently, and led her into his room, closing the door softly behind them. His hands sunk into her hair, his palms framing her face, his lips latching onto hers gently but firmly. He was equal parts aggressive and tender, and the balance was immediately panty-dampening for her. She kissed him back, tongues joining the mix, groans filtering in and out as their hands started to gently pull at chests, hips, breasts, and thighs. He was all consuming in that moment, in a way she hadn't felt in so long with her own husband. She wanted more, and he could sense it right away. He led her to his bed, laying her down, letting out a contented sigh as he murmured sweet words in her ear.

"I've wanted this since the moment I laid eyes on you."

"You're the most incredible woman I've ever met."

"You're perfect in every way."

"Let me make love to you…"

"Ana, I think I need to resign," he said, his hands clenched tight on his knees.

Ana felt her heart drop to her stomach. "What? Why?" she said, standing from her desk and coming around to sit next to him. His head hung down, his face pointed to the ground. His dark brown hair was uncharacteristically messy, a few strands falling forward onto his forehead. His jaw was dusted with day old stubble, but that wasn't unusual. Ana was used to Christian always being clean shaven, but she'd noticed that Matt liked to go a few days between, letting the manly scruff build up a little bit before shaving it back down.

"Because of us," he breathed out, looking up at her, the look in his eyes as if he was in physical pain. His eyes were always dark, but when he was really emotional, she always noticed they seeped into puddles of almost black.

"Us?" she squeaked out, horrified.

He sighed, a deep, heavy sigh, "I've fallen in love with you, Ana," he said with such heavy sincerity it twisted her insides.

"Matt—I-," she stuttered. Matt was in love with her. Matt, the sweetest, most genuinely nice guy she'd ever had the pleasure of meeting was in love with her. They'd promised each other after that night in the hotel that it was a onetime thing. They were good friends, and they both loved their jobs, and they didn't want things to get awkward. So they would just pretend it never happened.

But again and again it happened.

Again and again they found themselves locked in each other's embraces, mouths fused, hands hurriedly tearing at clothing, bodies joining over and over and over again. Suddenly she found more reasons for out of town conferences, sneaking out of their respective rooms when her CPO had settled in for the night. And when that wasn't often enough, they started doing it in her office. Her thirst for him was unquenchable. Meetings devolved into grope fests which devolved into them making love on her chair, on her desk, on the sofa….

So they'd made new promises. Promises to keep it physical. She was married. And not just married, but married to Christian Grey, one of the most powerful men in the country.

"I know. We said it was just physical. I know that you're married and I know we said we this wouldn't become more than sex, but it has for me. If I'm honest, it always has been. I've had feelings for you for months and that's why I can't stay working here. I can't be around you every single day, falling more and more in love with you, knowing there can never be a chance for us. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met. You're so smart and so kind. You're caring and compassionate and generous and I didn't think people like you- ones so pure and just genuinely good even existed in this world. Yet, here you are, in front of me every day being effortlessly amazing and I just can't—"

And without a thought as to the ramifications of her actions, Ana launched herself at him, her lips desperate to convert his words into something physical. All those things he'd said, all those sweet, sweet words, and not one of them was about something as superficial as her looks- the only thing her own husband ever seemed to compliment her on. Never did he say he was floored by her intellect. Never did he point out her compassion as a positive attribute. If he mentioned anything about her personality at all, it was with condescension at her naiveté. He loved her lips, her hair, her eyes, her body, but he never told her he loved her mind, her spirit. He often belittled her for such things, calling her childish, constantly chastising her smart mouth, making her feel inferior for every piece of herself that made her her.

There was a time she'd lived and breathed for her husband, but these few long years had not been kind to their marriage. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. When they'd gotten engaged, he'd promised to cut back on his work hours after the wedding, that he just had things to settle before that could happen. But days, weeks, months went by and she found herself miserably lonely most evenings, often going to bed alone while he remained at GEH or holed up in his study. Finally, she'd begun to beg him to let her work after four torturously long months sitting in their Escala penthouse, day in and day out, miserable and alone.

When he refused over and over again, she casually mentioned being a stay-at-home wife would at least be nice for when they had children. He'd clammed up at her statement, and ignored her for a whole day before he admitted to her that he would never want children. She was fine waiting if he needed time, but the idea of never being a mother was devastating to her. So she tried to discuss it with him, just to help him over his fears for the future. But he became enraged anytime she brought it up, 'putting his foot down' and closing the book on the subject.

She'd decided to forgo that idea for a while, but in the meantime picked back on up on the idea of working. She simply could not stay locked in his ivory tower any longer. In a moment that she wasn't proud of, she gave him the ultimatum, let her have her career or a baby, knowing he would choose the career. And he did. But not without daily reminders of how much it displeased him that she felt the need to find validation outside of him. Which of course she found ridiculous, seeing as her wanting to work had nothing to do with him.

The fights that had ensued because of it these topics immediately caused a rift in their honeymoon happiness, one that grew into a irreparable chasm the day she found out he had never stopped seeing his child molester, Elena Lincoln, a stipulation she'd made when accepting his marriage proposal. When Ana found out, she confronted him, but he immediately defended Elena. Unapologetically, tooth and nail he fervently defended everything about that horrible woman, instead putting down Ana for daring to say anything bad about his supposed savior.

After a time, Elena started approaching her at various functions, even having the gall to approach her at Grace and Carrick's house, belittling and berating her over and over. In the beginning, Ana tried to tell Christian about it, but he never believed her, always taking Elena's side. Ana learned to ignore Elena after a while, choosing to at least not give her the benefit of her emotions when they had their little run-ins. And she stopped even telling Christian about them- what was the point? It was all just another nail in the coffin on their happiness as a couple. If she had to pinpoint a situation that caused her to really start to give up on her marriage, it was the repeated defensive attitude he took regarding Elena. Her life was a swirl of arguments about children and their respective careers, but at the end of the day, it was his undying defense of Elena that had her shutting down. With time, she stopped arguing, stopped fighting, stopped caring.

Finding her job in publishing came at just the right time, allowing her to shift her attention from him to the career she'd always longed to have. But she'd been an editor's assistant for all of three weeks before the company she worked for was sold to Grey Enterprise Holdings, Inc. and she was appointed the new CEO. He hadn't even warned her. She left work an assistant one evening and returned a CEO the next day, informed of the change by her boss-turned-subordinate, Jerry Roach. Christian had ignored her incessant phone calls all day, screening her and sending her to Andrea every time. She'd intended to rip into him that evening, instead. She was going to tell him no, refuse the position, refuse to leave the position she already had, the one she wanted, the one she loved.

But he didn't even bother coming home that evening. She'd ended up falling asleep in the guest bedroom after angry, hysterical sobbing had drained her of all of her energy. When she woke up in the middle of the night, she remembered her intended rampage and flew out of bed to confront him. See he was in his study as usual, she was about to barge in and raise hell when she heard him on the phone—

"I did what you suggested, and appointed her the new CEO today. Her PPO informed me she was irate. I stayed at the office until she fell asleep in order to avoid the fight I'm sure is brewing."

A voice broke through the speaker on the phone on his desk. Ana felt her stomach churn at the well-known voice of her husband's abuser.

"Good darling. I give it a month tops and she'll be begging you to let her come back home. She'd not cut out for high-level management. You'll have her back home in no time, and with a newfound respect for what you do day in and day out. You just need to keep the pressure on her. Hand her tasks you know she'll fail at. She'll come crawling back to the luxurious life you've provided in no time, begging you to let her stay home and finally appreciating what you do for her."

"I hope you're right. Thanks again, Elena."

She walked away from his office, a new sense of determination to succeed coursing through her veins. Knowing that her own husband was planning her failure with her worst enemy had left her more incensed than she'd ever been in her life. As a result, she'd thrown herself into her role at the now renamed Grey Publishing and worked fiercely to complete the near impossible tasks Christian handed down to her, refusing to give up, refusing to fail.

Her respect for her husband waned to nil, and with it, her fight, her passion for any part of them. The more she pushed back against him and his rules, the crueler he became. She took every GP task head on, burying herself in as much work as possible, still spending long hours at the office, and working from home so often her days bled from one to the next like a blurry Monet. She even found herself enjoying it, mostly because she had proved her husband wrong and had survived, thrived even, where he had been so sure she would crash and burn. It wasn't her dream job, wasn't even the job she wanted, but she was going to do it successfully.

With this new successful career as well as her new found self-confidence to occupy her time, she stopped begging her husband to see John Flynn again. She stopped begging him to see Elena. She stopped begging him to cut back on his work hours. With no desire left to fight for her husband's affection and attention, she took on a new even-tempered approach at home, giving in to his demands just to keep the peace in the house, just to make it through one more evening until she could curl up in bed and sleep.

She'd been systematically emotionally broken by him, their fire and passion long since extinguished.

Stuck in a marriage that felt like a prison sentence, she wondered if she would ever gain enough courage to request a divorce. But Christian would surely bury her, ruin her life. It was clear to her that their intense love had been like a fireworks display on Independence Day- it had burned brightly and beautifully, but only for a short time. And all she was left with was the deafening silence ringing in her ears. There was no way he was happy in this marriage either. He couldn't love her. He seemed to hate her, now. Did he ever love her?

But Matt, he was the opposite of Christian Grey. His affection and attention had filled a gaping hole inside of her. She stopped living monotonously day in and out. Instead, she felt alive for the first time since college. She was excited to wake up and go to work, to keep furthering her success at GP and spend her days working with Matt. He was supportive and kind, generous and sweet. He radiated positivity, boosting Ana's self-esteem instead of forcibly crumbling it between his hands. He was everything Ana desired in a man, and her life had been light for the first time in years ever since he'd walked into it.

Yes, she was married. And yes, she was scared to ask for a divorce from her husband. She hadn't had a good enough reason to, until now. Not knowing all it could cost her. Not when her diminished self-esteem told her that her own happiness wasn't a good enough reason to leave. But if she wanted to be with Matt, she would have to face the firing squad. Yes, Christian would probably ruin her life, but she had to try and get away from him before he broke her completely. She had to try and find her happiness again.

And that happiness was with Matt.

"I'm falling in love with you too," she whispered, feeling his arms tighten around her at the revelation.

"You are?" he asked, astonished, and thrilled, the smile on his face the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

She nodded, a radiant smile on her face for the first time in so long. Everything else be damned, this was what she deserved.