Things Emmett Can't Do 2

1. Jump out of windows in attempt to fly

2. Get humans to jump out of windows in attempt to fly

3. Sing Hannah Montana songs in front of large audiences

4. Use swings to launch himself into space

5. Throw humans out windows

6. Throw apples at humans

7. Replace Alice's wardrobe with "Street Clothes"

8. Set fire to Alice's Wardrobe

9. Go anywhere NEAR Alice's wardrobe

10. Replace Rosalie's mousse with cheese

11. Go anywhere near Rosalie's mousse

12. or the cheese

13. Crash Alice's Porsche

14. Go anywhere near Alice's Porsche

15. Hug Icons (inside joke)

16. Swat with a meat tenderizer

17. Use Rosalie's thongs as sling shots

18. Wear Rosalie's bras as hats

19. Go anywhere near Rosalie's Underwear drawer

20. or Alice's or Esme's

21. Go 720 mph on the freeway... or anywhere else for that matter

22. Wear a cape to school that says "I stole this cape from Aro Volturi" on the back

23. Eat Bella

24. Eat Bella and make it look like Jasper did it

25. Eat Bella and make it look like Edward did it

26. Tell random people that he's Superman

27. Go emo and attempt to cut his wrists

28. Write Edward out of the rest of the movies

29. Hide around the corner wearing a black and red cape, fake vampire fangs, and some fake blood, jump out when Jasper least expects it and yell "I vant to suck yer vlood!" with a thick Transylvanian accent

30. Move into the bathroom saying that he has food poisoning

31. Freak out whenever anyone touches him because he thinks he's gonna get H1N1

32. Wear gloves and a medical mask because he thinks he's gonna get H1N1

33. Recite Hamlet with his own head

34. Start a rumor in school that Bella is in love with Jasper and is only marrying Edward for the money, and when people start asking why she doesn't just marry Jasper since they both have the same amount of money say that Bella's not very bright...

35. Start a rumor that Rosalie is bulimic

36. Start a rumor that Alice is Bulimic

37. Start rumors about anything or anyone

38. Put on a blond wig, tie eight baby dolls behind him and say he's Kate Plus Eight

39. Tell Shaggy Dog Jokes

40. Tell knock-knock jokes

41. Play practical Jokes

42. Decide to make an army of evil monkey minions

43. decide to make an army of evil frog minions

44. Mail himself to Australia

45. Bleach his hair, dye it all the colors of the rainbow, and go around saying "Be the rainbow!" to random people

46. Steal Government equipment

47. Attempt to turn a grizzly bear

48. Attempt to turn the Easter Bunny

49. Try to get Bella to try "Extreme Acupuncture"

50. Declare that B.I.C. stands for "Bella is CHYAAA!"(Chyaaa! means awesome or cool)

"Did he really try to turn the Easter Bunny?" I asked when we finished.
Alice nodded, "In '96 he waited outside all night. He attacked the first unlucky bunny to cross his path," She shook her head sadly, "Poor, Poor bunny..."
Just then a chicken ran frantically through the living room, with Emmett right on his tail.
"Come back! I haven't finished your eyes!" He yelled running after it.
Alice sighed, got a pencil and wrote:

51. Give chickens Make-overs