Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, and the lyrics are from to Snow Patrol's 'Set Fire to the Third Bar'
Summary: Post VotD. The Doctor always lost everyone, but losing Astrid was the final straw. The Oncoming Storm swept through the galaxy, exacting his wrath on all wrongdoers. He was a force of destruction and justice now, and he would have vengeance.
Fire
The Doctor was no more. Everything the universe had thrown at him had seen to that.
He'd been resilient, far more so than anyone else would have been in his situation. He'd resisted the darkness and despair that now ran through his veins more so than blood did.
At the beginning of his life, he'd been an innocent child with wondrous ideas about the universe. He'd stared at the dark night sky and dreamed of a life away from Gallifrey, a life of adventure and freedom. He'd wanted to see the stars, to be free to explore them, to fly away and never come back. So when the final straw was pulled, he'd taken an old TARDIS from a scrap yard and left, never intending to come back, leaving everything behind. He'd even left his name behind, taking up a new alias: 'The Doctor'.
And so he'd travelled, and it was the life he'd always dreamed of. He had adventures, he saw things that other Time Lords would never see, but still something wasn't right. Something was missing, and he didn't know what it was. So he searched.
I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places
For centuries he travelled the galaxies throughout his incarnations, sometimes taking companions with him, sometimes going alone. And still he searched.
He'd never enjoyed violence. He'd used it when necessary, but only then. Whenever a peaceful solution could be found, he'd always use that. But still he saw the horrors of the universe as well as the wonders. He saw death, destruction, poverty, degradation... the list went on and on, neverending. Some said that death followed him around, but he knew better. Death was the way of the universe, he saw it everywhere he went. It lurked in every corner of every galaxy. Death didn't follow him, it was already there, people just chose to ignore it, as they did with any other ugliness in their lives.
Throughout the Doctor's travels, he came to know that death was the only surety that everyone had, and one by one it took his companions. One thing the Doctor hated was being alone, so he always had someone with him. But they would always leave, and all too often, it was death that took them away.
I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science
He'd lost too many people. His family, his whole planet was gone. They all burned in the Time War with the Daleks, and the Doctor had thought that it would be the end of him. He'd lost everything, how could he come back from that?
Rose, she'd been his salvation. She'd saved him from himself, made him see past his grief and make him live again. After his latest regeneration, she'd had him almost smiling naturally again. But then he'd lost her too... and that had almost been too much. Losing her had almost been the last straw. He'd spent what felt like eternity looking for ways to get back to her, for a way to do the impossible and cross dimensions to see her again. But in the end, all he had of her was his
memories. When he closed his eyes, he could still just about see her smile, mischief glinting in her eyes and hear her laugh.
Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me
After he'd realised he'd failed and that he wouldn't be able to reach her, the Doctor had gone back to Jackie's flat. For a while, it had been almost like a second home to him (after the TARDIS of course), he'd spent a lot of time there with Rose, Jackie and Mickey over the visits back from their travels. But where once it had had a home like feeling, the flat was now cold and empty. Clearly believing Jackie and her daughter to both be dead, the extended Tyler family had cleared out their belongings, leaving it bare.
With no furniture left, the Doctor had slid down the wall and sat on the floor looking around the room. He could practically see the ghosts of Rose and her mum moving around the flat, just like he remembered. There was no point hiding from them or covering his eyes against them, the Doctor had experience with ghosts of past companions. He both hoped for them and was haunted by them. And so the Doctor had sat in the barren flat hour after hour, wondering what to do without Rose.
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms
Still, he'd carried on, masking his pain as best he could. He'd met Martha and continued travelling, doing what he did best. But it wasn't the same. He cared for Martha, but he didn't love her, and he never would. It was Rose he needed, but as far as he travelled, she was always further away. She was in a place that even he could not reach.
But that wasn't the end. After the year that never was, the Doctor had thought he could lose no more. He had saved the world, but he lost the only other one of his species, the Master chose to die, rather than regenerate. But then Jack left him for Torchwood, and Martha left him too.
Again the Doctor was alone, and he wasn't sure how many more people leaving him he could take. Over time he'd have thought he'd have got used to it, but he never did. His heart was like a cracked window, broken, irreparable, but not shattered. And then every new person who he grew to care about and then left him was like a knock on that window, making the crack grow that little bit bigger.
The question had been, how much longer before he took his final knock and everything came crashing down?
After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in
The answer to that question was now apparent to the Doctor. Astrid. Astrid had been the final straw. On the alien ship the Titanic, even after everything, he'd taken a chance on her.
Astrid had been just the sort that he'd ask to come with him, to travel with him, to see the universe. She was sharp, open minded, a free spirit like he'd been, one who dreamt of seeing the stars. But then, just as fate seemed to insist these days, his hopes were crushed and he was alone. He began to let himself care, he even kissed her, and then she was gone. She sacrificed her life to save his, to save the whole planet Earth – a whole race who never knew she existed and who would never know what she'd done for them.
After leaving, he'd gone down to Earth, he'd seen the people wandering around, completely oblivious to everything, selfishly taking care of themselves, and he wondered, why did he always lost everything for this planet? Why were they still worth it? Hadn't they cost enough?
The really frightening thing was that the more the Doctor thought about it, the less he was sure that the answer was yes.
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms
And at that moment, when he'd watched the Earth celebrate Christmas, completely oblivious to the sacrifice a girl called Astrid had made for them that the Doctor had decided. He wouldn't take companions with him anymore, he would travel alone. He just couldn't take the pain of losing them anymore. He was tired of the pain, and he was tired of all those that caused it.
He didn't know that the people he saved were worth it anymore, his faith in the human race had waned too thin for that, but he knew what Rose would say if he stopped helping people. He would continue doing it, for her, and for all the others who'd been lost. However, him helping didn't mean that his mercy was still intact for those who went against him.
He'd used to have so much mercy, for anyone who had even the possibility of redemption, but those days were over. The name of the Oncoming Storm had used to be spoken with fear by the oldest of the barbaric races, now it was known to all of them. Had the Family of Blood known what he would become, they would have counted themselves lucky to have crossed his path when he still had the last vestiges of mercy left. For now his enemies saw none.
He was no longer the Doctor. He was the Oncoming Storm, and he swept through the galaxy, exacting his wrath on all wrongdoers. He was a force of destruction and justice now, and he would have his vengeance.
Vengeance for all the innocents of the universe, vengeance for his planet and his people, and vengeance for his Rose.
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms
A/N: I was watching Voyage of the Damned again the other day, and this just came to me and refused to go away (rather like my cat when there's food around...) So, hope you liked!
Please review!