Hello, I'm back. I'm just going to write a short and funny story about what kids normally do best in South Park. The purpose of this fic is just for fun. Some OCs will show up but ultimately serve as either background characters or antagonists. While this takes place chronologically after my Stick of Truth Story, it's not required to read that story to understand what this story is all about.

Enjoy.

Chapter 1

Sitting on the couch on a sunny Monday afternoon, a certain fat, obese 10-year-old boy with brown pants, a red jacket, and a teal beanie had his jaws agape while holding a near-empty bag of Cheesy Poofs as he sat on the couch watching the end of the commercial as the deep male voice boomed through the television. "Get Destiny: The Taken King and the complete Destiny adventure in the Legendary Edition. Rated T for teen." The flashing lights of the live action trailer shown on the TV as well as the showcase of the package of the product nearly made Eric leap out of his couch and jump for joy.

"That game looks so cool!" Eric Cartman's eyes trailed off to the left of his left foot, where his scrawny gray cat Mr. Kitty tried to climb on his legs to snatch the Cheesy Poofs right out of Eric's hand. "Hey! No! Bad Mr. Kitty!" Eric, using his right hand, slapped Mr. Kitty's face, sending him across the room. "Bad Mr. Kitty!"

"Meow!" Mr. Kitty let out a loud cry and hiss before leaping away to the kitchen.

Eric leaped out of the couch "I have to get that game! The Legendary Edition! It looks awesome!" As he turned to walk towards the kitchen, Liane Cartman casually strolled into the living room, whistling random noises and minding her own business. "Meem, you have to get me the game! The one that comes out this Sunday!"

"What game, honey?" Ms. Cartman raised an inquiring eyebrow at her son.

"Destiny! You promised months ago I'd get the game, and you still haven't gotten it. Now I want the Legendary Edition!" Eric's cheery expression turned quickly into a scowl as he stomped his right foot on the ground, heartbroken over the broken promise made months ago.

"How much does it cost?" Ms. Cartman clamped her teeth within her closed mouth, unsure of the answer her son was going to give her.

Eric rolled his eyes at the question, as if that didn't matter to him at all. "Sixty bucks, mom, but you promised!"

"Eric, sweetie, you know I work two jobs," Ms. Cartman rebutted. "We've talked about this before, I'm trying everything I can, but it's hard."

"Life isn't handed to you, mom!" Eric stomped his feet on the ground. "It's not fair that everyone's going to get Destiny but I won't! I swear, my mom is so poor, she got an eviction notice on her car!"

Ms. Cartman put her right hand over her mouth and immediately started to giggle from her son's joke. "Oh, that's a pretty good joke, honey."

Eric clenched his teeth with rage and raised his fat right index finger to point it straight at his mother's nose. "IT'S NOT FUNNY MOM!" He then turned around towards the front door, opened it to walk outside, and slammed it shut with such force that it nearly shook the entire house.

Towards the northwest side of town stood a brown building with the words "Jimbo's Guns" painted in yellow above the front doorway. A little to the right of the doorway was a boy and a girl leaning onto the wall. The boy wore blue pants, a brown jacket, and a blue poofball hat that covered all of his head while the girl wore yellow pants, a purple jacket, and a pink beret over her long jet-black hair. Each of them had one ice-cream cone in their hands; the boy had vanilla flavor while the girl had chocolate.

"I never thought I could believe it, Wendy." The boy took a lick out of his own ice cream. "Cole Dimmons is going out with Karen Anderson."

The girl softly laughed. "I'm quite happy for both of them actually, Stan. I think both of them will be alot happier. They look cute together."

Stan gave a simple nod then shrugged. "I'm not even sure what Bebe meant by..."

However, the ramblings of a voice too familiar growing louder in volume caused Stan and Wendy to fall silent. Noticing that the words came from their right, the two turned their heads in the direction of the voice as they saw Eric Cartman walk towards them. With his hands in the pockets of his jacket and an angrily contorted expression, he did not take his eyes off his shoes as he walked towards the pair. "This is bullcrap!" He then gazed his notice upon the young couple. "Sup, fags."

"What did Kyle do to you this time, Cartman?" Stan shifted his feet and stood up straight. He did his best to keep a straight face, but he, like everyone else, knew that whenever the fatass is angry, something bad will inevitably happen.

"Not Kahl, but this is still bullcrap!" Eric folded his arms as he angrily stomped the ground with his right foot. "My mom won't buy me Destiny!"

"Destiny?" Wendy turned to Stan as she raised an eyebrow at him. "Isn't it that one shooter game with space magic that I keep seeing commercials about?"

"Yeah," Stan replied, "it's kind of like another MMO."

"Regardless, it's still not fair!" Eric's sudden rise in tone almost caused Stan and Wendy to back off in surprise. "My mom promised to get me Destiny months ago! She is a lazy whore and she owes me big time! She can't just sit on her ass and expect money to come out of nowhere! I swear, my mom is so poor children from Africa send her money!"

Despite the joke that came out of Eric, Wendy's face contorted with disgust, appalled by Eric's words. Clamping her teeth inside her mouth, Wendy stepped forward with a stern expression. "Maybe, Cartman, you should stop caring so much about yourself. And I'm not giving you any money, why don't you go work for it for once? Like how Kenny still works at City Wok...uh..." Wendy turned to Stan as if seeking guidance, her face full of confusion now. "...I think?" Stan only replied with a simple shrug.

Eric's jaw dropped, taken aback offended at the girl's confrontation. "Ugh, I didn't ask for your opinion you dumb bitch!"

Grinding his teeth, Stan narrowed his eyes at Eric when he threw the insult at his girlfriend. "Stop it, Cartman! And I'm not lending you any money either, you still didn't pay me back for wrecking my bike!"

Eric put the palms of his hands together as if he were saying a prayer as he let out his signature whine. "But guys..."

"No!" Stan and Wendy yelled in unison.

"Fine!" Eric rubbed his chin for a second before a bright idea popped up in his head. Whatever idea that flew through his mind caused him to to crackle his energy, the ends of his mouth forming a wide, devious smile, and Stan and Wendy both eyed him with caution in that regard. "I've just got the greatest idea: I'm gonna start a fundraiser."

Caught off-guard by Eric's statement, Wendy raised an eyebrow at the fat kid. "You're going to start...a fundraiser?" Given that Eric is usually the opposite of what a generous person would be like, Wendy met that statement with suspicion. She almost folded her arms, but she remembered that her ice cream cone was in her right hand, and in doing so she would have spilled the chocolate cream all over her jacket.

"Yes." Cartman rubbed both of his hands together as he began to laugh. "I'm going to start a fundraiser - for myself. That way, I can buy Destiny."

Stan was shocked by this. He couldn't tell what was worse: the stupidity of Eric's statement or the selfishness of the statement. "What?"

"That's not what a fundraiser is." Wendy furrowed her eyebrows, appalled by Eric's greedy manner. "You raise money to help people."

"That's right," Eric replied. "I'm helping myself." Eric let out a heroic smile, a smile that only angered Wendy even more.

"You help other people with fundraisers, not yourself, you dumbass!" Wendy let out a harsh exhale.

Stan shook his head. "Cartman, don't you think this is a bad idea? How are you going to raise all that money anyways? And what if people find out you're a fraud? What are you going to do then? Wendy and I aren't going to help you raise money for yourself just so you can buy yourself Destiny."

Cartman let out a snide smirk at the young couple. "You can't help!"

"We don't want to help!" Wendy shot back.

"You can't help!"

Stan shook his head once again. "Cartman, why do you always do this? Every time you come up with these schemes to get money, it always backfires horribly. Like when we did the Crack Baby Athletic Association? Or when we made out own startup company? Don't you get it? All we ever do is lie to people to get money. My point is, Cartman, maybe you should rethink your approach on these things, because I'm not going to be a part of this anymore."

Wendy smiled at Stan, it was good to see that Stan finally grew out of his greedy phase. "Good for you, Stan."

Eric curled his lips but remained as calm as he could be. He let in a large inhale through his nose and exhaled with his nose. "You know what your problem is Stan? You don't have the attitude of a winner. You're always content with being second place. I'm also sick of you spoiling all the fun with your cynicism. Like right now, you're being a cynical asshole. I guess it's your hippie girlfriend that nailed that through your head. I told you man, girls are a bad influence."

Stan and Wendy both closed their eyes and piched the bridges of their noses at Eric's idiocy. "Cartman, will you just knock it off for once?" Wendy asked. She shot Stan a frustrated look then turned back to Eric.

"Sorry Wendeh, but I can't hear you through the sound of money about to be made." Eric cleared his throat before walking a bit past the couple. He turned back to point at them with both of his index fingers. "Screw you guys, I'm going home."

"Cartman, wait-" Stan started.

"My name is not-" Wendy began to say.

"Screw you guys, I'm going home."

As Eric walked away, Wendy cupped her hands around her mouth as if using a speakerphone. "Fine! Idiot!" She rolled her eyes and turned to Stan. "Can you believe that guy? I hope he gets what's coming to him."

"Oh he'll get what's coming to him, that's why I was gonna give him a bulletproof vest." Stan pointed his left thumb towards the doorway to Jimbo's Guns.

"Oh, yeah..." Wendy rubbed her chin with her left hand. "...knowing Cartman, that might be important."

The Stendy pairing is just a gem, but ultimately not going to be the main focus of this fic. Anyways, hope this fic is good so far, do leave a review. Stay tuned.