"This is a private cruise," the blond, hunky one said.
"That it is!" Merlin agreed. He tipped his hat and ducked past him to mount the S.S. Alice.
"Hey! Off the boat!"
Merlin wove around the snarling passenger and beamed at Gaius. Gaius nodded at him but remained focused upon his conversation with the older gentleman who had bought out the tour. Merlin turned to begin checking that everything was prepped for casting off. As he leaned over against the rail, the pursuing blond shoved him so that he nearly toppled overboard. The only thing keeping Merlin on ship was how the pressure on his arm, which was pinned against his back, was strong enough that his hip was catching on the railing.
"I said off. The. Boat."
"As part of the essential crew, I am not able to oblige."
"The essential crew?" the hunk of jerk snorted.
"Yessir," Merlin chirped. "I'm the hired muscle."
The bully flexed one of his arm muscles into Merlin's back. "I could lift more than you can lift without breaking a sweat."
"Then we'll save the brute labor for you, today, sir, and I'll just deal with those tricky technical aspects." Merlin let himself start to slide more over the edge and, when his tormentor was readjusting his grip, wiped out one of his legs so he could turn around. "Well, it's been a pleasure, but duty calls. It's all 'Merlin, check the water level, Merlin ready the casting.'"
"Merlin," the blond huffed in a way that suggested he doubted Merlin qualified as a real name.
"That's it! You got it right on the first go round," Merlin said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some final preparations for our voyage today, and in order to guarantee a timely departure, I should hop to it."
He turned with the full intention of readying the boat, but then Morgana le freaking le Fay sashayed down the dock and maybe he squealed like a fangirl even though he had only seen a couple dozen of her movies.
Morgana turned her exquisite face and her hair flowed out behind her like one of her shampoo commercials. She made a pullover sweater and skinny jeans look like they belonged on the cover of Vogue.
"Don't be getting any funny ideas about my sister," the incorrigible prat snapped.
"Easy, Arthur," said a beaming man with a mop of curls. "Not everyone is used to growing up with celebrity beauties traipsing through their house. Besides, their only meeting is three hours on a crowded boat" He offered a hand to Merlin. "I'm Leon, Mr. Pendragon's secretary and, whenever Arthur's feeling amenable, his friend." Arthur's expression suggested that he was not currently feeling particularly amenable. "This is actually my first time on a boat. I grew up in the Midwest. My parents are farmers."
"Wait for it, wait for it," Arthur said. "Yeah, that's the sound of no one caring."
Merlin's draw dropped at Arthur's hostility, but Leon chuckled fondly and turned to give the final member of their party a hand boarding the boat.
"Gwen," Arthur said.
"Arthur," she replied. Gwen had a shock of curly hair and an aura of friendliness that instantly set Merlin at ease.
"Merlin," Merlin offered. "Er, Ms. Morgana, if it's not a bother, could I ask you for an autograph?"
"There's a lot of things you could do," Arthur said. "Your job, for starters."
"Is he always this sassy?" Merlin asked. Leon barked a laugh, threw an uneasy look at Arthur, and went instantly straight-faced.
"I like you!" Morgana crowded. "May we keep him?"
"You can't keep people," Gwen said. "But you could give the man an autograph."
"Merlin!" Gaius called from the wheel. "You'd better get a move on. We're leaving today."
"Aye, aye, Captain!"
It took a quarter hour for them to pull away from the dock and navigate through the other moored boats. They hit the border of Camelot Harbor and Gaius pulled out his megaphone to begin his narration. Gaius liked a healthy dose of mysticism on tours, but today he kept strictly factual. He mentioned the Volscragg shipwreck but completely passed over the Kracken's Cavern and the Ethereal Waterspouts of Tauntandras. Morgana sat at the prow of the ship and stared glassy-eyed at the water like a couched maidenhead. Arthur looked determinedly bored next to his father, who despite the jaunty bouncing of the boat over the water, appeared to be entirely unruffled. Leon sat closest to Merlin and held a life preserver in his lap; whenever they went through a particularly rough patch of water, he held it with white knuckles. Gwen looked green around the gills and appeared to be meditating.
Merlin sat at the back of the boat and stared out at the place where land met sky. Gaius' description of primitive fishing techniques was enough to lull him into a hazy half-awake state. His face felt all warm and toasty and he had nothing to do until they came back to port. Merlin tilted his head back against a seat cushion and smiled at the beautiful sky. Except—
In a matter of seconds, the innocent cumulous clouds stretched and darkened; lightning sliced the sky. The water became choppy. Merlin stared at the distant point where previously sky met water. It appeared utterly placid. Totally calm. Absolutely unperturbed. Which could only mean one thing.
"Merlin!" Gaius shouted. Merlin turned back to the front. Gaius was shepherding the passengers to the center of the boat. Leon was squeezing three life preserves. Gwen looked as pale as Merlin had ever seen a black person look.
"On it!" Merlin shouted. He grabbed a line from the mooring and hooked it onto his belt before running out to the prow. Localized storms were possible, but at this extent, it was not just a patch of foul weather. Merlin held a net over the side of the boat. The boat bucked over a few swells before he managed to haul it back on board, and it was filled with dead fish. Merlin closed his eyes to concentrate.
Localized effects. Instant changes in weather patterns. Hordes of dead fish. Potential remote activation—unless someone on board wanted to kill them all—but active third party involvement and advanced ensorcelling capabilities. He opened his eyes and started. Crawling onto the boat from the back was a great fanged monster with ugly, muddy features and a snarl that numbed Merlin.
Earth and water. Earth and water.
Merlin slipped and slid to the back of the boat. The creature's weight was beginning to submerge the boat. Merlin put one hand on the fuel and held the other to the sky. He could feel the beast's foul breath cold on his skin.
He blinked gold.
Fire erupted as the fuel exploded upon the creature; wind torpedoed through its body and it emitted a terrible screech. It tumbled backwards, but Merlin conducted a cyclone that held it above water until its body turned to ash.
The waters calmed slightly, and Merlin made his way back to the front of the ship. Merlin needed an anchor if he stood any chance of fighting the storm and keeping the boat whole. The rain had grown heavier, and he could no longer make out where the storm ended.
For a harrowing hour, Gaius tried to guide S.S. Alice through the waters while Merlin frantically bailed water and worked on-the-spot repairs. Visibility continued to worsen and the sky was growing increasingly black even though Merlin was fairly certain it was only one thirty. Merlin sent out pulses for land, but they kept getting tossed and lost in the current. Merlin had just reached portside when the boat landed hard and he flipped over the edge and onto a beach. The water yanked the boat back and was set to drag Merlin with it; he crouched close to the ground on all fours and the waves settled.
The S.S. Alice lay crumpled on the sandy beach with a still-smoking back end and a crunched frame.
"Is everyone alright?" Merlin tried to shout, but he instead began hacking out seawater.
Arthur was the first out from the central cabin. He looked around the shore, out over the misty albeit calm waters, and fixed a stern eye upon Merlin.
"How in God's name," he demanded, "did you manage to set a boat on fire during a rainstorm?" He sounded profoundly perplexed.
Merlin offered him a goofy grin before he resumed coughing heartily.