Agh, Bleach is the creation of Tite Kubo & is his and/or whoever he sold the rights to & I don't own it, blah blah blah etc etc. Hope this is where I'm supposed to write this, I've read so many fanfics that you'd think I would know where to put it ... whatever. I don't really care that much
Another invincible enemy starts for Ichigo's back and Rukia notices that she might be able to make it there in time…
"Wait a minute!" Rukia suddenly thinks, "Do I really need to simply throw my body in-between Ichigo and his attacker? My sword is drawn, why can't I just block the guy? Even if the guy is too strong for me, if I can block the initial attack, maybe that would buy enough time for Ichi to turn around and give me a hand. Maybe I actually don't need to give the ultimate sacrifice every single fucking time someone takes a swing at Ichigo's back in my presence and can actually use my brain and a little bit of self-respect instead!"
"Hmm, why hasn't this occurred to me before? Possibly because Tite Kubo, although being a fascinating author and artist, can be a total chauvinist asshole at times. Does he really believe that guys would constantly be blinded by the flattery of a woman willing to be so self-sacrificial and not willing at all to use her brain? I don't know, maybe they are; who knows what dumb-ass guys think. Or maybe that's a Japanese thing or maybe it's just the idiotic male pre-pubescent audience that he is writing for . . . .
Meanwhile, in the background, Orihime throws her body uselessly in front of Ichigo. The incredibly powerful enemy cuts through them both and blood sprays everywhere.
Rukia turns around.
"Oh…. Oops, oh well. Too late now."
She jams a hand in her pocket and whistles as she walks away flipping her sword.
Suddenly, a head pops out from the pile of rubble and people.
"RUKIA!" Ichigo yells angrily.
Rukia jumps, "EEEK!" Rukia shrieks and turns her head around with her eyes as wide as saucers.
"Rukia, you didn't do your job, the fabric of the universe is ripping…." Ichigo's now demonic voice rumbles as he emerges from the rubble, walking like a zombie.
Rukia's jaw drops like a bucket, her eyes literally bug out of her head and she shunpos away into the next dimension.
I am laughing out loud while writing this XDXDXDXD