"I want to die."
These are the words that Buzz Lightyear mumbled as he entered the Target he worked in for the billionth time. He lost his suit in an accident when some drunk horny guy took it to fuck him in the asshole and put the suit on for a quick getaway and needed to find a job so that he can build a new suit.
As soon as he enters the store, Buzz sees the cashier screaming. The cashier was being stabbed multiple times! Buzz runs to the back to school section to grab a Tec-9 then comes back and repeatedly shoots the assailant in the head but the cashier was still screaming in pain.
"BUZZ, PLEASE HELP ME, I HAVE 200 FUCKING STAB WOU-"
Buzz gets the duct tape because there aren't any other alternatives.
"Oh, thank you for helping me, Buzz."
Instead Buzz duct tapes the guys mouth and ties his arms and feet then throws him off the fucking bridge to die because he was bored.
"The boss can just hire a new cashier anyway," he mumbled.
That night, Buzz went back home to his house to play. He bought an Xbox One X just to play Minecraft in 4K which he couldn't wait to play! He was so giddy and excited that while driving home he killed an entire family of 5, smashed into more than 20 cars and even leveling a skyscraper under construction.
He arrives at his house, walks past his sex chamber and the room where he chains all his sex slaves, kisses the picture of Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris on his bedside table, sits on the couch and turns on the Xbox. Buzz is a redstone master so what he decides to do is build a fully functioning penis that both cums and pees. He also builds a statue of his idol, Ajit Pai.
"Fuck net neutrality, Ajit Pai is totally not a fucking retarded asshole who to deserves to be slowly beheaded by ISIS," Buzz says to himself.
Suddenly 10,000 SWAT teams show up and kick down his door and they all have fuckin miniguns and they arrest Buzz!"
"Why did you bring 10,000 SWAT teams instead of the army?"
They don't listen and shoot him to death and he dies. They then search his house and free all the sex slaves and then the naked horny guy builds 10,000 nukes and drops them in every major city in the world resulting in mass extinction of the human race.
Suddenly Buzz is ressurected and he has a magical golden flying suit on. He ascends to the sky and joins the Ouroboros and the naked horny guy as the three new celestial beings. The Ouroboros notices something wrong.
"How come you motherfuckers aren't like me yet?"
Buzz does not know what to do but then suddenly comes up with a solution. He tells the naked horny guy to shout "to infinity and beyond" together. They do just that.
"TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!" They both shout.
Suddenly their dicks become bigger and bigger and curve. Their dicks grow like this until their dicks enter their buttholes. The diameter of the circles that their dicks created are so fucking huge that you can fit 100000 galaxies in each of them. They then turn into ouroboses and the three celestial Gods, the Ouroboses and create a new universe and rule over it.
The end