Long Nights

Chapter 1

notes: This is Yuuram, plain and simple. Words all in CAPS are the same as italics. I write using editpad so no italic button here.

disclaimer: I don't own KKM or the characters.

Beta: pyrrhicvictoly (yay! I have a beta!)

Wolfram almost passed over it. He must've seen the plate a thousand times, though he had never been aware of it. This back storeroom had been his for as long as he could remember. It was a tiny crack of a room, with a thin wooden door that screeched as he opened it. The room was largely forgotten, having been filled with the odds and ends of centuries of magical treasures. He doubted if anyone knew what a tenth of the items did.

That suited him just fine. No one came down here anymore, and he could hide in the small room for hours on end. He had pawed through the boxes filled with littered debris and had never gotten in trouble with any of the items before.

'Stupid, stupid wimp!' Wolfram caught up a small gold ball just to keep him from destroying the room. Sure, he'd seen that the Lady had fallen down, but Yuuri didn't have to act so concerned over it! He didn't have to lift her up like that either, he thought as his mind replayed the gracious way Yuuri had bent over the fallen Lady's hand.

There were much less... concerned ways to pick people up. He could've yanked her up by her elbow. That would've shown her what a fool she'd been. He could've put his hands under her armpits and--

He dashed that thought out. The chances of Yuuri touching her breasts, even accidentally, were too great to be borne. With HIS luck, Yuuri would have declared himself straight once and for all and married her on the spot. Bah!

He should've allowed Conrad pick her up; let the little child blink doe eyes at his brother. Wolfram could admit that Lady Jolene was beautiful. He wasn't a blind fool. (Well, not blind, anyway.) It was high time Conrad got married anyway. And it was utterly unnatural for him to hover around HIS fianc like that! Yuuri didn't need Conrad when he had Wolfram to protect him. That was far better than any...

His grip on the ball tightened and he threw it at the ground. It tinkled as it hit, as if it had a million silver chimes inside, then bounced off the wall, far into the air. Too far. Wolfram stretched to grab the ball, but his fingers only grazed it. He slipped, arms wind-milling to balance himself.

His hand found a box and he grabbed it, realizing too late that it wasn't attached to the shelves. It hit the ground hard, but didn't shatter, and the lid was still wedged on tightly. He vaguely remembered trying to pry off the lid, but didn't remember if he'd ever been able to. He grumbled, gathering a few scattered things that had fallen off with the box.

He sighed and looked at his palms. He'd cut up the heel of his left hand, the one that hadn't grabbed onto anything. He winced as he dug bits of stone out and brought the seeping wound to his mouth. Healing was the easiest of magical spells a Mazoku could learn, but it couldn't be done on oneself.

The truth was, he didn't like feeling like this, being so jealous. It didn't make him feel better to yell and holler at Yuuri over this. He just couldn't stop himself. It was as if the impulse overtook him and his rational mind was gone until it was over. It made him feel horrible.

Even IF Yuuri decided that he loved him, would that change anything? He wondered. Would it make him happy? He was sure it would, for a short time. But after the initial glow of happiness left, he'd fall right back into his old insecurities. Maybe they would be worse this time, knowing now how much he could possibly lose. Surely, with enough time, he would drive Yuuri away.

That thought burned in his mind the most these days. Nothing he could do or say or think got rid of it.

He got to his knees, gathered the fallen items, and put them back on the shelves behind him.

'Even if I did have him, I wouldn't be happy. I'll never be able to trust him. What good is marriage without trust?' Losing Yuuri to anyone would shatter him. He'd never recover. The first time had almost killed him. He knew now how weak a person was. One the other hand, he'd never be able to give Yuuri up. Giving up just wasn't in his nature. No, it was more than that - he truly loved his King. It was the kind of love he'd locked away a long time ago.

He scratched his head and turned, surveying the room to make sure he hadn't missed anything. 'The ball!' He couldn't see it, and the light filtering in through the small, rectangular window was growing dimmer.

He turned to leave, but paused. His eyes fell upon a plain blue plate and arrested there. He frowned, brows wrinkling. It hadn't been there before. He picked it up; a round, dustless section of black wood gleamed at him.

He shrugged and tried to put it down, but found himself turning it round and round, end over end in his hands. No. The surface wasn't plain at all, he saw now. It seemed glazed and perfectly smooth and... wet?

'What the...' The solid blue of the plate had changed to a mixture of blues and whites, like sea foam on a shifting ocean.
He would've dropped it but for the fact that his hands held on to it with a death grip. His knuckles had gone white and his fingers hurt from the pressure of holding it. The surface of the plate ebbed and flowed. The soft sound of surf came to him along with a whiff of salty air.

His magic flickered and he gasped. When had he grabbed the power? The pulsing ebb and flow of the water seemed to pulse along with his own magic. The two reverberated off each other, back and forth. The power inside of him built, the waves crashed about him. He blinked, the whites of his eyes showing. All his pain sealed to be draining away with the sea, flowing away, and he just wanted to--

"Wolfram!"

Wolfram gasped and the plate clattered to the floor. He gaped at his older brother like a fish before his eyes rolled up and he sank into unconsciousness.
---8---8---

He was swimming in warm water, more at peace then he'd ever been. He could hear people talking about him, but their voices didn't carry through the water and he was content to leave it at that. He would've stayed there forever and been content with his lot, but he was becoming more aware of the pounding in his head. Each throb sent him further away from the welcoming darkness he'd been wrapped in, and it made him want to cry.

'Please don't make me go back,' he thought into the darkness.

He fought with every scrap of his being. It wasn't enough. Nothing seemed to be enough. And suddenly he woke.
He groaned. His head hurt even worse that it hand and he buried his head deeper under the blankets. He wanted to cry but couldn't.

"You're awake!" Yuuri's muffled voice came through the fortress of blankets. He tried to pry the blankets away from Wolfram, but the blond hissed and swatted at his hands.

"My head," he moaned weakly.

The bed sank as Yuuri leaned down to get to him. Cool hands touched his cheeks first, traveling by feel to his nose, up the arch, and to his head. A strange windless breeze seemed to float about him, carrying with it the scent of rain and everything fresh. The pain lessened and pulled away from edges of his mind before lifting altogether. It made him feel tired and fuzzy.

He cracked an eye open and pushed his head free of the blankets. "Yuuri," he said with a sigh. A worried expression played over the young King's face. He thought, 'what a handsome man he is.'

A slow, slithering longing filled him. It creeped in as he lay still under the blankets. It was so powerful that it took his breath away. He closed his eyes tight and tried to push it out. He failed. Every time he tried to examine it, to push it away, it slipped away. It was as if he'd... forgotten something.

"Are you still hurt?" Yuuri's voice broke through his train of thoughts. Wolfram batted away the hands as Yuuri tried to smooth his hands across his brow.

"I'm fine," he muttered pensively. He pushed himself up and rubbed his face with a hand. God, what was this? Had he felt it before? He couldn't imagine a time when he hadn't, but he couldn't remember any time before then that he had.
It was coming back to him piecemeal. He felt Yuuri's cool hands again on his head but he ignored him, ignored the cooling feel of his energy washing over him. He remembered the box falling down and throwing the box. He grimaced at the effort. Then... he stormed into the room because... because?

But what room? He couldn't remember.

Yuuri sat on the edge of their bed, studying him. "I should get Gisela," he murmured, gnawing on his bottom lip. "Are you alright? Wolfram... What were you doing in that storage room?"

Wolfram noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the frown that ruined his handsome face. He looked as if he might fall asleep at any moment. 'Yuuri...' For some reason, he wanted to hug the King. He looked so fragile and hurt. Then he focused on what Yuuri had said. He opened his mouth and closed it again.

The series of events flashed through his mind in rapid action, whole and complete, and vanished from his mind like a dream. It lingered at the edges of his mind, a foreign taste he couldn't get out of his mind, and was gone.

"I don't remember."

What HAD he been doing? He vaguely remembered trying to remember something, but even that seemed far away and long ago. He swayed in the bed, wondering if he was going to be sick, when the sudden headache made his vision go black. Yuuri's arm's tightened about him and he leaned into his warm embrace. The pounding in his head lessened with the touch.

"I honestly don't know. I thought I did, but not anymore."

"You're lucky Conrad knows you always go down there." Yuuri's hands tightened on his shoulders. "He says you go down there when you're angry. What happened? Was it Lady Jolene? I know you couldn't have expected me to leave her in the mud."

Lady Jolene? Wolfram tilted his head back to regard him.

"Lady Jolene? Who's Lady Jolene?" And then in confusion, "What room? I don't remember being angry. I don't have any special place I go to when I'm angry." He wondered if that were true. It didn't feel true to him, but as he tried to remember, the headache started to flare up. Even Yuuri's presence couldn't stifle it this time.

"Conrad found you in the back storeroom." At the blank look, he added, "you know the row of storerooms the magical items are kept in?"

Wolfram nodded.

"It's in a small hallway off that main one, way in the back. It doesn't look like anyone has added anything new in a long time. The door looks about ready to fall off."

Wolfram remembered the main hallway. He'd played down there with a big yellow ball. It had been his favorite haunt, most because... Memories swam just out of his grasp. The sudden recollection made his head spin. He pressed his eyes shut. "I've never been down there," he said after a long moment, "I don't remember even going down the hallway."
He broke away from Yuuri and lay down, pulling the covers around him. The headache came back, but he could deal with that if Yuuri would just leave.
"But Conrad said you've been going down there since you were young. Six or seven, maybe younger," Yuuri pressed.
'Go away! Go away! Go away!'

Yuuri sighed and the bed leveled as he got to his feet. "Well, can you tell me anything? Anything at all? I'll let you sleep if you do."

Wolfram faked a large yawn and snuggled into the blankets. The sadness filled him again. He hadn't realized Yuuri had taken that away along with the headache. It overwhelmed him and he felt pricks of tears form in the corners of his eyes against his will.

"I remember..." He knew what he wanted now. He could remember that. A cool ocean breeze stirred over him, filling him with the scent of the sea and the peace of crashing waves on the shore. If he tried hard enough, maybe he'd hear the cawing of seagulls overhead. "I remember the ocean."

He slipped into a restless sleep after that and didn't hear when Yuuri left. He woke once to hear several people talking in hushed voices, but he fell asleep soon after that. The next time he woke, it was dark and Yuuri was sleeping next to him, soundless, his dark hair falling over his face. He pushed the hair out of his face, thinking how young he looked, and fell asleep again.

---8---8---

To Be Continued...

I love reviews like the next author. Feel free to leave constructive crit as well, if the need takes you. A side note: I name all my OC females as Jolene cause I'm lazy. If they're in other fics of mine, they aren't the same. It's a nod to the song 'Jolene'.