This is the story of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest in Captain Jack Sparrow's point of view. It's real funny. It's written in first person (Jack, duh). Please review when you're finished reading!

It sounded like pecking….from a bird, on top of this coffin I was trapped in. Oh, no. It's one of those stupid birds. It wants to eat me!! Where's that pistol….

I shot it through the coffin, then aimed around in case there were any other man-eating birds around, then broke the coffin as I freed myself. Well, this is a bit of open ocean. Hmm…"sorry mate" I found a skeleton leg. This might be useful. "Mind if I make a little side trip…I didn't think so."

Finally reached the Black Pearl. Gibbs was now the new owner of my skeleton leg, when I handed it to him. It's not what he expected. "Not quite according to plan…" he said. I replied, "Complications arose, ensued, and were overcome." He followed me as I walked towards the deck. "Ye got what you were looking for then?" he asked me. I waved the cloth in his face to ensure that I had, but once I turned around, an angry crew was in front of me. Oops.

"Captain, I think the crew, meaning me as well, were expecting something a bit more…shiny." He exaggerated the word 'shiny.' They explained all the troubles we went through, and demanded an answer. He wants treasure? My cloth is treasure! You just don't know it yet….

"Shiny…?" I said, covering up my real feeling. Gibbs replied, still a little angry, "Aye, shiny!" hmph. I'll show you. "Is that how you're all feeling then? That perhaps, dear old Jack is not serving your best interests as Captain?" They looked at each other for a minute, as if hiding something from me. Cotton's parrot suggested I walk the plank. Bloody…"What did the bird say?!" I asked rhetorically while pointing my gun at the parrot.

One of the crewmembers interrupted me threatening, and said, "Do not blame the bird." Why should I take orders from you?! "Tell us, what is on that piece of cloth there?" I was a little uneasy taking orders from him, but that stupid monkey stole my treasure. My…er…cloth. I stole someone's gun and shot at the monkey, which of course did nothing. At least it relieved my stress.

"you know that won't do it no good." Mr. Gibbs pointed out. No kidding, I knew that already. "Does me!" Honestly, I don't even know why that monkey is still on here. I killed it's daddy months ago, and it hates me!!

"It's a key…" Marty said, looking at me cloth. "No, much more better!" I said, stealing it back. "It is a drawing of a key" I showed everyone the drawing. After a few moments of being stared at, I decided to break the silence.

"Gentlemen, what do keys do?" I asked. A crewmember from the back replied, "Keys…unlock…things…?" he said. Mr. Gibbs looked like he had an idea.

"And whatever this key unlocks, inside there's something valuable. So, we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks!" he looked overjoyed. I ruined his mood. "No!" he frowned. "We don't have the key, we can't open whatever we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would there be in finding what need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first finding the key that unlocks it?" I said, as if it was obvious. Which it was really.

Gibbs was happy again. "So…we're going after this key!" I frowned at him. "You're not making any sense at all." Honestly, sometimes this crew doesn't know anything. I ruined Gibbs' mood again before turning to the crew. "Any more questions?" Marty spoke up, who was still behind me. "So…do we have a heading?"

"Ah, a heading." I said, pulling out my compass. "Set sail, in…" I frowned. The compass was broken or something. The arrow was pointing in what seemed to be a billion different directions, my finger was following it. "in a general…THAT WAY! Direction." I picked a random direction. Gibbs questioned me, but I just ordered them to set sail.

Compass still broken. Compass still broken. Work, damn you! I gave up and grabbed the bottle of rum. It was empty, grr…"Why is the rum always gone?" I asked myself. Then almost fell to the other side of the room. "Oh." I came up with a solution. "That's why." I said, on my way out. I made my way down the stairs and opened a door all the way on the bottom. There seemed to be no rum. Only this weird growth stuff. Blech. Whatever that means.

Yay! A bottle! I pulled it out, it was filled with sand. It must be a hundred years old. "Time's run out, Jack." I dropped the bottle. I didn't say that. It wasn't the crew either. Was that a stowaway? An apparition? I turned the corner to see a figure sitting over there. I knew him…"Bootstrap…Bill Turner?" He lifted his head. As water was pouring out of his mouth, he said, "You look good, Jack." Can't say the same about you. Wait, aren't you supposed to be dead? "Is this a dream?"

He looked at me weird. "No…"

"I thought not. If it were there'd be rum." As I put down me lantern, he gave me rum. It was a struggle to get it out of his grasp though, which was weird.

"You got the Pearl back, I see."

"I had some help getting the Pearl by the way. Your son."

"William?" After blowing some of the, um, stuff, off the rum bottle, I drank some.

"And to what do I have the pleasure of your carbuncle?"

"He sent me." I knew who he was talking about. But I decided to pretend I forgot. "Davy Jones." Ick, I hate that man. "ah."

After telling me his story, I got up to leave. "You made a deal with him too, Jack" He started explaining the situation to me as I took a step back.

"Technically I-" he interrupted me. "Jack, you won't be able to talk yourself out of this one. He'll drag the Pearl down to the depths and you along with it." I was about 3 inches from the floor when he said this. This hit me hard. "Any idea when Jones might release said terrible beastie?"

"I already told you Jack…your time is up!" He grabbed my hand as if putting something in it. "It comes now…drawn with ravenous hunger, for the man who bears the black spot." He said and disappeared. There was a giant black hole on my hand……eik! I'm going to be eaten! Unless I find land quick! I ordered the crew to set sail to land instantly (losing my hat in the process because of little Jack…..dumb monkey) I told them to leave my hat. That's when they knew something was up. But I told them it was nothing.

Please review and tell me what you think of it! Tell me if I should continue it too. I know I got some of the lines wrong, but I didn't remember exactly what they said. But I got most of the lines right though.

REVIEW!! Bye! Thanks for reading!

Captain Chartman