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The Aftermath

Chapter 1

I really don't know how I am going to get through this, I can't sleep the nightmares of Saturday night keep playing in my mind, I can hardly talk and I don't want to be reminded of the explosion that destroyed me and of how brave a person I am, I'm not brave I'm terrified I'm scarred for the rest of my life. Lucas face when my bandages were removed said it all, he will never want to be with me again, he will never be my boyfriend again not after this, Saturday had been going perfectly it looked like we would end up back together but now he won't want to be with me, I'm scarred for life.

I hear the creak of the door and I look up to see Lucas walking in to my room,
"Please just go away" I whisper quietly to him as he shuts the door behind him,
"No I wanted to apologise" he says as he stands by the side of my bed leaning against the table that lies across it,
"what for?" I ask him,
"For being such an idiot when the bandages came off" he tells me,
"You were the only one being honest and I was just" I start before he interrupts me,
"No No you don't understand" he tries to explain,
"So don't start lying to me now to try and make me feel better" I cut him off my voice rising "I look awful" I whisper bowing my head in shame of how I look, how I feel,
"No you don't look awful, you are gorgeous with or without those burns" he tells me I try not to face him not wanting to see the care he holds for me in his eyes,
"Lucas I'm going to be scarred for the rest of my life, how do you think that makes me feel?" I ask him finally looking up to face him again,
"well it might not be that bad, even if you are scarred what does it matter, look Mattie my reaction before was stupid but what's happened doesn't change the person that you are" he tells me, god why does he have to be so caring and loving, I best just go along with what he says because I really don't want him to see me breakdown.
"Your right I'm being ridiculous its about what's on the inside to" I tell him after a moment,
"Yea that's exactly why" he says smiling for the first time since he had come into the room,
"sorry I've been carrying on" I tell him hoping that he is believing my act and will leave me alone because I don't think I can hold my tears in any longer,
"No, no its totally understandable" he stutters but doesn't move, I smile at him hoping to convince him that I'm fine,
"I'm a bit tired" I say looking down as I feel my eyes start to well with tears,
"Ok I'll got tell the others your having a rest then" he says looking at me before leaning in closer to me and looking in my eyes "You are amazing you know that" he tells me before walking out of the room. As soon as he leaves I take my hand to my face as I break down in tears, what have I done to deserve someone so loving, how can he still think those things about me when I look like this, does he really mean it or is he just trying to make me feel better I don't know what to do.

"Mattie wake up, Kits just arrived do you want to go and see her" I hear Lucas say softly stroking my hair, my eyes flutter open not wanting to speak I nod my head and let him take my hand helping me down from the bed and into the wheelchair so that we can go and see my sister.