COOKIECHEESEMAN, you might want to leave while you're still ahead.

Hammerschlag presents: A Very Merry Christmas Special 2017 Episode 2: A Not So Silent Night

The hymn "Silent Night" was about the birth of the baby Jesus, so I think you all know where this is going.

Alm lit the fireplace in his chambers as he waited for Celica to change into her nightclothes. The two had been married for three years at this point, and had established a very important tradition on the merry holiday of Nagamas; they would cuddle on their fur rug and stare at the stars as their fireplace burned through the night. This year, it seemed Celica wanted something very special from Alm, as she did something she had never done as long as Alm had known her: she appeared wearing nothing but a red bra and knickers, matching her hair and arousing her husband beyond measure.

"Err, Celica, that's… quite the ensemble!" Alm chuckled nervously.

"I'm glad you approve, as there's something we need to discuss. First, we should probably get on with our tradition," the Queen of Valentia smiled and crawled next to her King. The fireplace provided the only illumination in the room, making the stars in the night sky seem all the brighter. Alm and Celica's eyes glistened as they looked out the window. The moon was full and bright, and around it the Valentian nobles thought they saw the faces of Mila and Duma smiling upon the world. Then they looked back to each other and embraced for a good, long moment.

"Now, you said there's something you wanted to discuss with me?" Alm said, breaking away momentarily."

"I want a child. It's been three years, and I'm ready," Celica began caressing Alm's body.

"Are you sure?" Alm questioned. He didn't want to commit to anything the two were not ready for. Celica's response was to take off his shirt and crawl on top of him and kiss him, rocking her hips back and forth on top of him.

I suppose I'll take that as a yes, Alm smiled and felt his hands moving up Celica's soft back to unclasp her bra. The Queen then grabbed it from the front and pulled it off of her body. She then sat up, giving her husband a full glance at her breasts for the first time. He sat there, dumbfounded at their beauty. Celica, sensing his hesitation, took his hands and placed them over her breasts. Taking the cue, Alm began to gently caress them, eliciting moans from his wife. Celica than moved herself forward so her breasts hung directly over Alm's head. Seeing this as another cue, Alm began to kiss her nipples. This went on for a few moments before Alm took the next step. He moved his hands down Celica's back to her rear, grabbed her knickers and pulled them down as far as he could reach. The Queen then stood up and pulled them down the rest of the way. She then removed Alm's pants for him, grabbed his member and sat on top of it. They both felt intense pleasure as Alm's penis entered Celica's vagina. The Queen screamed as she moved up and down, her breasts bouncing, giving Alm the most enticing view he had ever seen. The King's arousal got to a point he felt the need to take control, so he grabbed hold of his wife and flipped over so he was on top. The two kissed again for a brief moment before Alm placed his penis back into Celica's vagina and began to thrust. Again and again the King thrust himself into his wife, each time eliciting the loudest of moans. Soon, neither one could hold out and they simultaneously climaxed. The two smiled and called out each other's names in love, then lied down and fell asleep.

Nine months later

Alm and Celica sat in the infirmary with their newborn. A bright light shone on the castle as Nomah led prayers for the family outside the gates. Celica was too tired to welcome an excess of visitors, so she only allowed her and Alm's closest companions.

It was then Gray, Kliff and Tobin showed up.

"We are three wise men, and we have come bearing gifts. I have brought a gold relief bearing the faces of the Gods," Tobin bowed,

"I have brought an electronic device. I don't know what it is or where it came from, but it looks cool," Gray shrugged.

"I couldn't find someone who sold decent herbs, so I brought a bar of soap," Kliff said, "now let us see this child that the Gods have gifted unto us."

"…Oh my…"

"I wasn't expecting that."

"…What the hell do we do now…"

Find out what happened to Tobin, Gray and Kliff in the companion one-shot, "The Three Not-so-wise Men"!

If you're uncomfortable with this, blame Jameson. I had quite a bit before writing this nonsense.

The writing tune for today was the music that made a Vulcan cry: the Brahms Sextet for Strings No. 1.