Don't Stop Talking To Me
A/N: Hey guys, I was inspired by the famous God Given Solace scene. ENJOY! R&R PLZ!
Pain was not new to Penelope Garcia. She'd lost her parents, been shot, and dealt daily with the most horrific crimes known to man. But she maintained herself; she held her head high and kept going on because the thing about pain was that if you stopped to wallow, it would only hurt more. This meant that no matter what happened Garcia would arrive to the office on time in her colourful outfits and eye-catching accessories. On this day, she dropped off cookies in JJ's office for her and Henry; JJ was on the phone but smiled her thanks. She gave Alex the morning paper and made sure there was enough coffee for boy genius before going to her lair. Switching on all her computers and logging in, she tapped a hotkey.
Morning princess
"I'll show you a good morning Hot Stuff," Penelope chirped.
I know you can.
"And don't you forget it." Penelope shrugged off her jacket. "Heard from Emily, she got the go ahead for a month long vacation. I think that little threat I made Clyde hit home."
You didn't threaten the security of the free world did you?
"Oh Hot Stuff," Pen giggled. "While you're obvious fear and respect for my wrath is quite charming, I would be some hot water if I engaged in terrorist activities."
You make it sound like you've never done it before.
"That was different, JJ needed my hacking skills to save her life." Pen paused, "I wish I could've done the same for you."
You did your best, you'll always be my goddess.
"Oh Sug," Penelope's eyes watered as she reverently touched Derek's picture on her computer screen. No she hadn't lost her mind, nor was she living in some mental alternate universe, remember pain was not new to Penelope Garcia. But she maintained herself; even when the love of her life took a bullet to the leg that severed an artery and bled out before they could get him to the hospital. She tried to hold her head high, she came to work in colourful outfits and brought sweet treats for her babies but there was one thing that had changed. She refused to use the phone. She'd text, email, and sent voicemail messages if necessary but she never actually called and the times she was forced to answer the phone, the calls were short and deliberate. She'd take down what the team needed to look up then cut off without a proper goodbye. The team figured she needed time to cope but the problem persisted for months until fate intervened in the form of David Rossi and Aaron Hotchner.
She came to Hotch's office to deliver the files for the day, "Good morning Mon Capitan. Oh Super Agent you're here too. Good then here is today's case," she handed them both the folder, "Three missing girls in Florida, I'm running background checks as we speak and I'll email you whatever I find."
Hotch and Dave shared a look when she turned around to leave. Aaron stopped her, "Garcia?"
"Yes my liege," Penelope spun on heel, clearly expecting some command.
The unit chief placed the folder on the desk and crossed his arms, "You're going to have to use the phone sometime."
There was a long pause with the two profilers watching the tech. Garcia bit her lip but couldn't hold back the tears, "It'll never be him on the other end sir." She slowly sank down on the couch. "I'll never hear his voice again Hotch, he'll never call me baby girl or joke with me. During the bomb scare in New York he made me promise to never stop talking to him but how can I now? How am I supposed to pick up the phone knowing that the one person I want to hear from is gone for good?"
"You don't need a phone to talk to him Kitten," Dave sat down next to her. "You don't even need to say it out loud, talk to him in your mind, in your heart."
"As poetic as that sounds sir, I'd feel ridiculous," Garcia sniffed.
"What's so ridiculous about it? I still tell Erin about my day," Dave looked to Hotch for help.
"Jack and I talk to Hayley, we sometimes light a candle but even just going through the day, I can feel she's there. Whether it's watching our son play soccer or helping me choose a tie." Hotch shrugged.
Garcia gave a watery chuckle, "I still say the onyx black looks better than the coal black." The men laughed with her.
"Just try Kitten," Dave urged.
And she did. It was hard at first, she did feel stupid. The candle idea didn't work for her, it just emphasized the fact that Derek was gone and made her more depressed. She tried to be herself on the phone, go about things as normally as possible. Then one day, she was coaxed into going to the bar with the team and saw a guy attempting to dance with a whole set of girls. It just sort of slipped out, "He's got nothing on you Hot Stuff." It was strange, no one else heard, but she felt warmer somehow. What's more, she had him known so well she could anticipate his answer even if he wasn't around to give it. So she learned to go with it, to relax and just talk like she would've if he was still there. She tried to do it in her mind and it was okay but was always better when she could say it out loud. The team was very accepting, knowing that this was what their friend needed to cope. To feel less like she was talking to herself, she found her most favourite picture of them and used it in his place. It wasn't the same, it would never be the same but it was something. All that mattered to Penelope Garcia was that she didn't have to stop talking Derek and could at least keep her promise to the man she loved.