Disclaimer: Not mine, all Disney's! The lyrics belong to Dido, though, and nothing belongs to me. Hmmp. Anyway, this story is a little confusing--everything in normal print is the normal story, italics is song lyrics, and bold and/or different font is the written word. *grin* There is a little tiny blurb of another one of my fav couples in here--I wanna see how many of you notice it! Hehehe...Anyway, after I had written this story, I noticed that it was sorta similar to some other stories on the page--dLQ77's "Top Secret Journal Stuff", Mei's "Drama Queen" and Frenchy's "Musings of a Blonde Cheerleader". Anyway, I liked all those stories a WHOLE LOT, and this is me paying tribute to three of my favorite authors! :) I hope you like my story, and without further ado...
Here With Me
Catie Roth tapped her pencil against her journal, her mind whirling with thoughts. The sunlight had all but disappeared, leaving her sitting in her bedroom alone with her thoughts, the radio playing softly in the background. The young dark haired girl chewed on the bottom of her lip, looking down at the half a page of words she had just finished scrawling down into her black notebook.
Have you ever wondered what your purpose in life is? I find myself wondering about mine every day. Am I suppose to be a writer? A teacher (yeah right)? A housewife? What was I put on this earth to do?
I've always believed that everyone, everyone in the world, was put on this planet for one reason, and one reason alone. But the problem is finding what it is your suppose to do.
Sometimes I'll look at Val and just know that she was meant to save people's lives. That is her purpose in life. She's lucky, I suppose--she already knows exactly what she was meant to do, meant to be, and, possibly, meant to be with.
Tyler Connell. Lord, could those two fit each other any better? Their perfect by themselves, and they just seem to get better whenever their around one another.
Sometimes I envy what they could have if they would both just open their eyes and look. I'll watch them blush and stutter to each other, and just shake my head, already seeing the road that they'll take, as clearly as if it was physically there.
They'll continue to blush and stutter for a little bit longer, before something happens to force them to see how they feel about each other. Then, they'll fall madly in love with each other, and graduate together, go to college together, graduate the top of their class, go to med school together, and then get married and have 2.5 children that are just as blonde and as perfect as they are, and live perfectly ever after. Great. Wonderful.
Catie sighed, and put her notebook down on her desk and stood up, wondering to the window and watching the last rays of the sunlight fade away. The burning red ball of light finally disappeared completely, giving way to the purple clouds of twilight.
She sighed, and reached to switch the lamp by her bed on, filling her room with dull yellow light. Turning away from the window, Catie went and sat down on her bed, jostling the books she had thrown their after coming home from school. Her Spanish book slid off of her bed, and fell with a thump to the floor, and the dark haired girl sighed again.
Laying down flat on her stomach on her bed, the young woman reached down a hand to scoop the book, which had somehow managed to fall under her bed, off the ground. As she was hanging upside down, however, her eyes fell on her yearbook from last year, still crammed under the bed where she had put it after the last day of school last year.
Curious, Catie grabbed it along with her Spanish book, and sat up right. Dropping the school book carelessly, she flipped open the dark blue bound book, with the words "Kingsport High 1999-2000" scrawled on it in gold. Several different messages form various people where scrawled on the front pages, and Catie skimmed a few, refreshing her memory.
Hey Catie! Can you believe it? We're going to be JUNIORS! And then SENIORS! And THEN we'll be going to COLLEGE! Isn't it exciting?! I know, your still not to impressed by school, but still...we're growing up. Okay, okay, your rolling your eyes as your read this-I know you are, don't lie to me! Anyway, all I really wanted to say was thanks for being there for me and for being my best friend!
Love, Val
Catie smiled as she read over her best friend's random cheerfulness, a smile pulling at her lips. Only Val would get that excited over going to school.
"Once a cheerleader, always a cheerleader." Catie shook her head, a small smile pulling at her lips. Turning the page, her eyes fell on another message scrawled to her. The handwriting was unmistakable, and she smiled, scanning the passage to see what Jamie had written to her.
Catie,
Well, isn't school exciting? Yeah right. I don't know about you, but I'm glad to be out. You were right, high school is a pain in the...neck. (I know that's not what you really said, but still...) Anyway, besides the whole school being a drag thing, I had fun this year with you. (Even though I'm sure it ruined your rep, hanging out with a lowly freshmen, even one as good looking as me. ;) )
Have a good summer, and I hope I'll see you sometime over it (I mean, come on, this town isn't exactly that big, I'm bound to see you, even if just by accident!) So, have a good summer, and I'll see you under the bleachers next year!Jamie
Catie smiled, and her fingers, acting on their own accord, flipped to the freshmen W section. Scanning the smiling faces of the present sophomore's, her eyes were immediately drawn to the dark eyes and wild hair of Jamie Waite. A half-smile, half-smirk pulled at his finely shaped lips, his dark eyes seeming to flash just a bit.
Catie swallowed hard against the sudden feeling that bubbled up inside of her, as her fingers, still acting with a mind of their own, gently traced the photo of the young man. Catching herself, the Goth girl shook her head, closing the book with a final sounding thud.
She dropped the book down with the rest of her school books, and chewed on the inside of her lip for a second. Her eyes danced back up to her black notebook, still resting on her desk, and she stood up, picking up the book and her pencil.
Sitting back down on her bed, she reached to her night stand, and turned the radio up a little bit, just in time to hear the last verse of UB40's remake of "Can't Help Falling In Love".
"That was Can't Help Falling In Love by UB40, going out to Daisy from Ezra! This is Love Notes and Dedications, and this next one is for Jimmy from Cat! Jimmy, she wants you to know that she wants to be more then just friends! So here's your song...Dido's "Here With Me"!" The FAR to happy DJ announced, and Catie blinked and began to write.
Wonderful. Do I WANT wonderful? I mean, how much fun could wonderful be? I mean, sure it's...well...wonderful, but is it any fun? There's no excitement, no drama, no...spice in wonderful. Just wonderfulness. And, while that will suit Val right down to the ground, I think I would get sort of bored with it.
I want excitement. I want drama. I want lust. I want anger. I want want. I want need. I want love. I want...will, I guess I want it all.
Is that too much to ask? Is everything to much to ask for?
I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory
Sometimes late at night, I try to imagine the kind of man that I'll fall in love with. And sometimes, I'll see him, right on the edge of my mind, a slow sexy smile pulling at his features, features that I can sometimes even see.
Dark hair, black as the midnight sky. Dark eyes so deep you could drown in them, like pools of warm light. A flashing smile that strikes like lightening and as warm as the sun. The quintessential tall, dark and handsome stranger.
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
but I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
until your resting here with me
Catie stopped writing, her eyes scanning what she had just written. An image of a man that looked like the one she had just described popped into her head, and she opened her mouth and then shut it.
"Jamie?" She breathed, and then turned back to her writing.
Jamie? Could Jamie be the one?
No, that's impossible. We're just friends--he makes me laugh, and feel good about myself. And there's no denying that he is one of the most handsome guys I've ever seen in my life, but there's no way anything even remotely romantic could happen between us.
We'd fight all the time--we're like gasoline and fire! Get us to close to each other, and things start exploding...of course, I'm not saying that's a bad thing. If Jamie is anything, boring IS FOR SURE not it! He makes life exciting, I will give him that.
Actually, I'd have to give him a lot more. Sure, we fight, but all friends do. We always make-up--I've never been REALLY angry with him more then once or twice. And those times that I was, he managed to get me to forgive him, something I very rarely do.
Like the time with Brianne...
I'm not even going to go into that--it's still too painful. The only good memory I have of that time is the feel of warm arms around him, and the scent of cologne and leather and something else that I can't quite put a name to filling my nose.
Jamie definitely smells good. And he's strong. And warm. And handsome. And smart. And...
I don't want to call my friends
they might wake me from this dream
and I can't leave this bed
risk forgetting all that's been
Catie stopped writing again, her thoughts swirling like a hurricane. Every single instant she had ever spent in the company of Jamie Waite suddenly leapt to her mind, and nearly overloaded her senses.
There was no way. There was just no way.
Her mind suddenly drew her back to the day right after Brianne had been hospitalized. She had gone to find Jamie, knowing that she needed to apologize for the way she had been treating him. And there was something more...some need to be with him. Her heart hurt in her chest, and somehow, somehow she knew that being with him would lessen the pain--he was like a balm to her soul.
He had looked up at her when she had walked toward him, his dark eyes studying her with a slightly weary expression. She had opened her mouth then, letting the words fall out of her mouth as they would. What she had said hadn't EXACTLY been what she had meant to say, but those words had gotten the job done.
Catie remembered the feel of his arm around her shoulders, and the touch of his lips on her hair, and her heart began to race in her chest. With shaking hands, she lifted her pencil, scanning what she had written before, before setting the tip of the lead down against the white paper and scrawling the words that would change everything.
I love him.
I love Jamie Waite.
How did this happen? This wasn't suppose to happen...was it? I don't know anymore. All I know is that I love him, and I want him to love me.
Catie looked down at what she had written, the sheer RIGHTNESS of what she had written filling her. She loved him.
"I love him." She whispered, a small smile making it's way to her face. "I *love* him."
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
but I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
until your resting here with me
Catie let her smile grow, and she flopped backwards on her bed, studying the ceiling. "I love him!" She informed the plaster, trying very hard not to giggle. Suddenly, the smile fell off her face, and she sat back up, looking out the window at the silver moon that winked at her from the sky.
"Now, how am I suppose to tell him that?"