Please don't look at me like that. I know. I know what I've done, okay.
Anyway dedication goes out to the lovely ectomintycocoa on tumblr~~~!
You are pumped. So pumped. Hella pumped. And, maybe, just a little bit terrified.
It was going to be a big day today, after all, and you had special plans. Very special, overly thought-out and nerve wracking plans. Also probably cliché as shit plans that are so sickly sweet you're going to need a literal army of dentists to clean the mess of cavities up.
You were going to ask a very special question to a very special person and absolutely nothing could go wrong.
But first you needed to fucking chill and enjoy your day with said very special person.
Your name is Dave Strider and you are currently trying to relax and have fun with your long-time boyfriend, John Egbert.
Your boyfriend, John Egbert, who had been your friend since you were ten and had somehow (quite magically) become your romantic partner and love of your life. You don't know what you would do without the dork in your life and you don't plan on finding out any time soon. You want to make sure he knows how much he means to you and you want to make sure he intends to stay as long as you do (forever). You really hope he says yes and you're pretty sure he will but if he doesn't... Well you're going to be embarrassed for life and probably try to drown yourself in that little kiddie fishing game you saw earlier. Woe is Dave Strider and his overly flashy and far too public plans that could go horribly, horribly wrong.
You should probably stop thinking and just chill the fuck out. You are the Strider and the Strider is you. You is special. You is important. You is gonna have a fun fucking time at the fair. Hell yeah.
"Daaaaaave," oh shit you probably zoned out again and now he's calling for you. "Dave!"
"What, what, what what?" you pat yourself on the back for that one, you are comedy gold. The master and no Egbert in the world can contest that. Ha ha ha.
The look he gives you is that of someone who is "completely done with your bullshit" and was very probably rightfully earned.
"You wanna ride the ferris wheel, Egbabe?" you are trying to distract him and you think it worked cause wow look at that thousand watt smile. Shit's brighter than the sun and it's a good thing you have your shades on all the time because otherwise you'd've gone blind a long time ago. That right there, that smile, is one of the many many reasons you want to keep this guy by your side forever. He grabs your arm and starts to run over toward the ferris wheel with an excited "Yeah!"
Wow what a dork. And wow what a shitty ferris wheel.
You tell him so.
"Dave, to be honest the whole fair is pretty shitty. That's how fairs work."
"Well yeah but damn this wheel doesn't even go that high. And the pod things are just a few strands of metal welded together to look like a seat. This is a safety hazard, John. We could die from this. I am too pretty to die, John. Take responsibility."
"First of all, you were the one that suggested the ferris wheel. Second, if you think this is the ride that could kill us then where were you when we went on that tilt-a-whirl? This whole place is a safety hazard. The rush you get from avoiding imminent death is what makes it worth it."
"Yeah, whatever. You're a nerd what do you know."
"Excuse me? David Elizabeth Strider you did not just call me a- a nerd."
You're both smiling by now as he pronounces nerd like it's the greatest insult to human-kind and you're almost at the front of the line.
"Yeah that's right, you nerd. You wanna go? We gonna fight about it? You can't take me bro, I'm too cool for skool. And you're just a neeeerd."
He looks at you with narrowed eyes as you hand over a couple of shitty little tickets so you can get on the ride. He's still looking at you with that look (as if he's sizing you up and disapproving of you at the same time) when you settle down into the pod thing and the ride slowly gets going. Then he smirks and leans over to whisper directly into your ear. "Yeah well at least this nerd can properly suck a dick."
Goddamn do you have a hot boyfriend. "That you can," you whisper back with a hint of reverence in your voice. "That you most certainly can."
"Hey," you blurt out in nervousness before that sexy look in his eye can take you any further. But damn now what are you gonna say. Get a hold of yourself Strider. Firmly grasp it.
"Dave?" John says after you don't say anything else after that. All you can do is grip the rusty handle bar of this swingy death trap. 'It'll be romantic,' Jade said, 'He'll love it' she said. Rose had even backed her up, though to be honest it had been with this look of sardonic amusement and she probably only agreed to see if you would actually do it like the idiot you are. Damnit Rose.
"Uh," wow real eloquent Dave, four for you Strider. "So, I have something really important to ask you."
"Oooooookay?" John looks concerned. Well he probably should be considering you're more likely to jump off this spinning wheel of death than finish a fucking coherent sentence.
"Uh, you know what why the fuck not," Inspiration has hit, you are brilliant. You are going to do this the only way you know how. You're going to do what you do best. You're gonna fuckin rap this shit.
"Yo, Egbabe, I can't believe you're the only one for me, it's so cliché even dime novel authors would agree,"
John is already protesting, you know how much he pretends to hate your shitty raps. But you think, you hope, this is one he'll really like.
"You've always been there through thick and through thin, and given the chance I'd go through it all over again, you're my heart and soul and my every damn thing, plus your ass is so fine it makes the heavenly angels sing," John snorts in a cute little laugh but he lets you continue. You've caught his interest.
"So I got one thing to ask let my get down on one knee," it takes you a bit of very risky shifting and the ride has almost reached its peak but you manage it somehow.
"John Egbert, my best friend and lover, will you marry me?"
You're holding your breath, ring box open to a very stunned looking Egbert, and you can feel the panic start to claw at your chest again.
"David Elizabeth Strider," John's words all come out in a whispered rush. You gulp. Not good, not good. Abort abort abort.
Before you can panic any further, though, John gives you the literal biggest smile in the whole damn universe.
"Yes."
Hella.