Again! I got off my behind to load this! That's the second miracle! Within the same day!
I no own the Storm Hawks
Read, review, and enjoy. You know, the basic drill.
On the Condor, Piper knocked on the metal door of Aerrow's room. "Oh, c'mon Aerrow! It won't be that bad." she soothed.
"No! I'm not going!" the redheaded Sky Knight shrieked from behind the comfort of his metal sanctuary. "And you can't make me!!"
"Look, I know you've had a really rough time with your mom and the Dark Ace and Master Cyclonis being your half-sister and all, but c'mon! All you have to do is be there for a few hours, be polite, and we'll come get you." responded Piper.
Opening the door, Aerrow hissed, "I am not going to my family reunion and that's final!"
As the door was slammed in her face, Piper sighed. She could not believe what this had come to. "Aerrow. If I pay you $50, would you go?" Piper offered.
Once again, Aerrow opened the door and grinned, "Make it $100 and you got yourself a deal, but I do have to be paid upfront."
Walking into the small crowd of the maniacs he was forced to call his family, Aerrow put on a huge forced and fake smile. Stopping, he saw his mother, Charity, going gaga over her fiancé, his future stepfather, the infamous Dark Ace. Gagging at the sight, he turned away and resisted the urge to throw up as he tried to force the image out of his head. Looking around, he saw that Master Cyclonis was wearing a huge face of disgust as she was hugged by his stepmother, Penny. "Well, at least I'm not the only one who is being forced to be here." He thought to himself.
"Aerrow! My boy!" he heard a gruff male voice shout and Aerrow began to almost strangle to death from the huge and tight bear hug from his father.
Finally, after what seemed like centuries, his father let go of him. "Hey Dad." Aerrow greeted forcefully.
His father commented, "Boy, you are gettin' some damn big muscles." He held up a flabby arm. "I'm workin' out at the gym for the last couple of weeks. Haven't made too much muscle yet, but I lost about 20 pounds."
"Good job Dad." Aerrow muttered.
"Oh, and your Aunt May is lookin' for you." His father added before walking away.
"Oh, that's just super. Aunt May is looking for me. This is just perfect. I should've made my will like Stork said." Aerrow ranted to himself.
Aunt May was his father's younger and only sister, who was large and round. She always wore too much make up, making her look like a clown and constantly dyed her short and curly hair different colors. Her hair color changed every time he saw her and as a result of this, he had no clue what her original hair color was. "Aerrow!" a shrilly voice called and Aerrow was about to bolt away when Aunt May, with bright fire red hair, hugged him.
It was an even more strangulating hug than his father's was and Aerrow swore his face was turning blue before she finally realized he was unable to breath. Finally, she let him go and Aerrow gasped for breath, almost collapsing onto the ground. "Aerrow! My little nephew grew up!" she cried and Aerrow resisted the urge to scream as she pinched his cheek, digging her, at least three inch long, bright red nails into his cheek.
After the attack, which felt like listening to Finn's guitar and Stork's poems of death, was completed, he was smothered with kisses, leaving bright hot pink lipstick all over his face. Rubbing the lipstick off his face, he was soon being dragged to the refreshment table. "Oh, you haven't seen your cousins in forever!" she cheerfully told him. "Ravess! Snipe! Give your cousin Aerrow a huge!"
Aerrow shrieked, "Wait! I'm related to Snipe and Ravess?! This is too much!!!"
Pursing her lips, Ravess hissed, "Mother. You know that I don't give hugs." She snatched a glass of champagne. "Especially to a Storm Hawk."
"Oh nonsense!" scoffed Aunt May as she gave Ravess a hug, causing the Cyclonian archer to freeze in place until she was liberated from the hug.
Gulping down the champagne, she grabbed three more glasses and drank them. "Mother! I told you! I don't give hugs!" screeched Ravess and she stalked away.
"Oh, your cousin Ravess needs to lighten up and relax. She always was so uptight." Aunt May sighed and she looked at Snipe. The thickheaded Cyclonian was laughing up a storm with a mouthful of food from watching his sister's rare moment of suffering. "Oh Snipe. You're hopeless. I wish I insisted that you learned to play the tuba as well as your sister can play the violin. It may have helped you in life." Aunt May reminisced, immediately silencing Snipe.
"Aww, but Ma, I hated it!" whined Snipe as he stuffed more food into his already full mouth.
"That's enough out of you young man." responded Aunt May.
Sneaking away, Aerrow ducked under a clothed table and turned on a communication like to his squadron. "Hey. Guys. I'm ready to come back now. I came, I saw, and I talked. Please! Get me out of here!" he quietly begged.
"Aerrow. You've only been there for less than 10 minutes! We agreed you would stay there for at least three hours. Now stop being anti-social and go out there!" Piper scolded with Aerrow knowing she was getting ticked from the tone of her voice, even though he was unable to see her face.
"But Piper-" he started, but before he could finish, she terminated the connection.
Swearing under his breath as he crawls out from under cover into enemy territory, Aerrow quickly dived behind a large tree. Peeking around the tree, he saw Ravess perched at the bar, drinking something. Finishing it, she called, "Yo, Bartender. Another Long Island Iced Tea here. And don't forget one of those little umbrellas."
The bartender came from the opposite side, carrying another glass and as he set it down in front of her, he commented, "Lady. That's already your 5th one. I can't give you anymore."
Ravess pursed her lips and replied, "So? Point is?" She slipped him a $20 bill. "Now can I get more?"
Taking the bribe, he answered, "Sure." He began to wipe the empty glass out. "I don't understand why a pretty girl like you would want so much to drink."
Taking a sip, Ravess ranted, "Oh, it's because of my Mother. She insists that I hug everyone. I don't give hugs. I don't do that lovey dovey stuff. The world just bites you in the behind if you're a nice person. Do you think I'm pretty?"
"Yeah."
"Really? You really think so?"
"Yeah." The bartender responded with the air of having been through a situation similar to this before.
"You know what? The world needs more men like you." Ravess raved.
At that moment, Aerrow saw his mother walking arm in arm with the Dark Ace to the bar. Raising an eyebrow, Dark Ace asked, "Ravess? Are you drunk?"
"Uh, yeah." Ravess drowsily giggled.
"Okay, that's enough for you." His mother concluded and gestured for the bartender to take the remainder of the beverage away. Picking up Ravess, Dark Ace carried her away with Aerrow's mother following behind with a small garbage can.
"Sorry you had to see her when she's like this Charity. She's normally not like this." Dark Ace apologized.
"Oh, I understand Dark Ace." Charity answered.
"Charity. I've been thinking. I can't marry you."
"Why?"
"There's another woman I love. It's Ravess…when she's not drunk."
"I understand. I was thinking that us getting married was a bad idea as well. Aerrow didn't seem to happy with the idea and I want Aerrow to be happy." Charity told him as she took off her engagement ring and gently tucked it in his pocket.
"Thanks Charity. I'll always have a special place in my heart for you." Dark Ace replied as he kissed her.
Once they were out of earshot, Aerrow cheered, "YEAH! They're not getting married! They're not getting married! They're not getting married!" He did his million dollar happy dance. "There is a God!!"
Running out from behind the tree, he rubbed his hands together. Leaping onto the nearest table, a wild gleam appeared in his eyes. "Hey! How about we get this party started!" he shouted.
Several hours later, Aerrow came back onto the Condor, red in the face. Piper remarked, "Looks like someone had fun after all."
"Man, you should've been there. It was a complete gong show. First, Ravess got completely drunk and she was trying to bribe for more drinks and then she got in a fistfight with Snipe and she totally owned him. I pied Cyclonis in the face and she couldn't do anything about it! It was friggen sweet! My dad said something about going to the gym and arm wrestled with Dark Ace and Dark Ace broke my dad's arm so Dad had to go to the hospital! Complete gong show!" Aerrow told her. "Best part is my mom isn't going to marry Dark Ace!"
Aerrow did his million dollar happy dance again and Piper decided, "Aerrow, if you ever do a dance like that again, we're kicking you off the ship."
Well of course Ravess had to be the one to get drunk! Otherwise, where's the fun in that?
Review please!