Kingdom Hearts 2: Sora and the Sequel of DOOOOM!!!!!
A/N: Hello all. Time for my first KH fan fic! I know you're excited, there's no need to pretend you aren't (wink wink). Our story takes place some time after Kingdom Hearts when Riku has been saved from the evil darkness and everyone's back where they started, etc. (except for Aerith and Sephiroth who somehow landed in Destiny Island..). Anyhoo, this is what happens when a video game frustrates me; I make it a point to torture the character's and ruin their lives! Muah hahahahaha. So anyway, enjoy. R/R if you would (even if you hate it.) Just don't flame because that's just ghetto.
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts doesn't belong to me. If it did, I'd be doing better things than writing fan fiction. Gawd, some people are idiots.
Chapter 1: A Bright, Sunny Day on Destiny Island
(we see Sora standing alone in a dark, swirling vortex)
Sora: I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like...are we really out of sandwich meat...or not?
(flashback to realty as we see Sora standing in front a of an open refrigerator.)
Sora's Mother: Sora, stop hallucinating!
Sora: Sorry mommy. (Sora's Mother turns out to be none other than...Aerith!) Gee, I sure am glad that I found out you were my mom. All his time I thought you were just a weird disembodied voice!
Aerith: That's nice sweetie.
Sephiroth: (runs in) Haha, I'm going to kill you all now!
Sora: Oh dad, you're so silly.
Sephiroth: Shut up, punk. I'm not your dad. I am the commander of SOLDIER.
Aerith: (whispers) He doesn't know that...
Sephiroth: Oh...right...
Sora: (is confused because of his ungodly low IQ) Umm....Mommy, can I go outside and play with my friends?
Aerith: May I...
Sora: (sigh) May I go outside and play with my friends?
Aerith: Yes you may.
Sora: Yay! (runs out the door and trips over his gigantic shoes) Ow!
Sephiroth: If that brat calls me dad one more time..
Aerith: Sweetheart, if I told him you weren't really his father, his whole world would crumble!
Sephiroth: Right....so what's the deal with us? Are we married?
Aerith: I guess..
(Author shoves them closer together)
Sephiroth: Umm...I love you. (to author) Ya know, I don't think this pairing is going to work!
(the author, being all powerful, forces Sephiroth to fall madly in love with Aerith.)
Aerith: I love you too, Sephy! (they kiss)
(S/A fans applaud. C/A fans stare in disgust)
Sephiroth: Didn't I kill you?
Aerith: ....maybe....
(they kiss passionately again)
(S/A fans squeal in delight. C/A fans send nasty reviews and delete the story's url from their browsers)
(meanwhile, outside...)
Sora: (getting up) I'm ok, I really am. (he falls into the water from the pier) Ow! Hey, what the crap?! I'm not wet. (splashes around) I'm dry, I'm dry. Lalalalalalala.
(Sora runs to the shore and sees Selphie)
Sora: Hey Selphie!
Selphie: (runs at him screaming. She starts attacking him with her jump rope.) Die, Sora! Die!
Sora: (whips out his Ultima Weapon and lashes a combo on Selphie. His miniscule intellect is more than compensated for by his combat skills.
Selphie: (keels over) Oh, the pain! The agony!
Sora: (lends a hand to help her up) Sorry, Selphie.
(Selphie runs away afraid)
Sora: (is sad) Why are my friends acting so weird? (cheesy sentimental moment) I miss Donald and Goofy...
(a coconut hits him)
Sora: Wha- (he looks behind him to see an army of Bouncywild and Powerwild Heartless). Ah! (runs at them and kills them. He then collects all the munny and hp balls they leave behind. He doesn't find it the least bit odd that there are Heartless in his world after he sealed Kingdom Hearts. Go figure.)
Riku: (appears out of nowhere like he tends to do) Sora...the power lies within you. Don't be afraid of the darkness..
Sora: Oh, Riku. Cut it out!
Riku: Shoot, I thought I'd get you again. Remember last time when you fell for it! Haha, you were running around the secret place for an hour looking for the door. (rolls on the sand laughing)
Sora: You mean that was a joke?
Riku: (tries very hard to control his anger) Sora, why must you be such an idiot?
Sora: I love you too Riku! (hugs him)
Riku: Ack! Get off me you blood-sucking leech! (he pushes Sora away)
Sora: Gosh, Riku. Why are you being so mean to me? I thought we were best friends.
Riku: Think about it!
Sora: (tries to think, but it makes his head hurt) It hurts!
Riku: Sora, have you been thinking again?
Sora: Only because you told me to.
Riku: (sigh of frustration) Remember that day we fought at Hollow Bastion?
Sora: Yeah, you stole my keyblade and I felt angry, but everything's better now, right Riku?
Riku: You mean you can actually experience emotion? Perhaps you are more advanced than I thought.
Sora: ...
Riku: Anyway, that day, after you kicked my butt twice, I realized my true reason for being.
Sora: To be evil?
Riku: No...but it involves taking your keyblade again. (snatches Ultima Weapon from Sora)
Sora: Hey! Give it back!
Riku: Sorry, I'm afraid I can't. It will ruin everything.
Sora: (moves in slow motion) NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Riku: (disappears into a wave)
Sora: Waa! I want my keyblade back!
(cries)
Voice: He who knows little understands little.
Sora: Ansem?
Kairi: No, silly! It's me.
Sora: Kairi! (hugs her)
Kairi: (steps away) Why the long face?
Sora: Riku stole my keyblade. It made me sad..
Kairi: Oh...that's too bad. Well, bye!
Sora: Wait! Don't leave me here by myself!
Kairi: Bye! (she runs off to the Seaside Shack before Sora can chase her)
Sora: First I fell, then Riku stole my keyblade, and now Kairi is running away from me! What else could go wrong?
(a behemoth appears)
(Sora attempts to fight it, but then he remembers he has no weapon, so he runs away screaming like a girl scout being mugged)
(the seaside shack)
Kairi: So, you got the Keyblade, right?
Riku: Yes. (waves it around)
Kairi: Careful with that thing!
Riku: Sorry.
Kairi: And the behemoth?
Riku: I summoned it.
Kairi: Good. That little pipsqueak will be toast in no time. (evil laughter) To the Hollow Bastion!
(they go to the save point and board the gummi ship, since it now has access to Destiny Islands)
To be continued..
A/N: How did the Heartless reappear and the world borders reopen? Since when are Sephy and Aerith in love? Are they really? Why is Selphie homicidal? Why are Riku and Kairi evil? These questions and more will be answered.....later.
A/N: Hello all. Time for my first KH fan fic! I know you're excited, there's no need to pretend you aren't (wink wink). Our story takes place some time after Kingdom Hearts when Riku has been saved from the evil darkness and everyone's back where they started, etc. (except for Aerith and Sephiroth who somehow landed in Destiny Island..). Anyhoo, this is what happens when a video game frustrates me; I make it a point to torture the character's and ruin their lives! Muah hahahahaha. So anyway, enjoy. R/R if you would (even if you hate it.) Just don't flame because that's just ghetto.
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts doesn't belong to me. If it did, I'd be doing better things than writing fan fiction. Gawd, some people are idiots.
Chapter 1: A Bright, Sunny Day on Destiny Island
(we see Sora standing alone in a dark, swirling vortex)
Sora: I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like...are we really out of sandwich meat...or not?
(flashback to realty as we see Sora standing in front a of an open refrigerator.)
Sora's Mother: Sora, stop hallucinating!
Sora: Sorry mommy. (Sora's Mother turns out to be none other than...Aerith!) Gee, I sure am glad that I found out you were my mom. All his time I thought you were just a weird disembodied voice!
Aerith: That's nice sweetie.
Sephiroth: (runs in) Haha, I'm going to kill you all now!
Sora: Oh dad, you're so silly.
Sephiroth: Shut up, punk. I'm not your dad. I am the commander of SOLDIER.
Aerith: (whispers) He doesn't know that...
Sephiroth: Oh...right...
Sora: (is confused because of his ungodly low IQ) Umm....Mommy, can I go outside and play with my friends?
Aerith: May I...
Sora: (sigh) May I go outside and play with my friends?
Aerith: Yes you may.
Sora: Yay! (runs out the door and trips over his gigantic shoes) Ow!
Sephiroth: If that brat calls me dad one more time..
Aerith: Sweetheart, if I told him you weren't really his father, his whole world would crumble!
Sephiroth: Right....so what's the deal with us? Are we married?
Aerith: I guess..
(Author shoves them closer together)
Sephiroth: Umm...I love you. (to author) Ya know, I don't think this pairing is going to work!
(the author, being all powerful, forces Sephiroth to fall madly in love with Aerith.)
Aerith: I love you too, Sephy! (they kiss)
(S/A fans applaud. C/A fans stare in disgust)
Sephiroth: Didn't I kill you?
Aerith: ....maybe....
(they kiss passionately again)
(S/A fans squeal in delight. C/A fans send nasty reviews and delete the story's url from their browsers)
(meanwhile, outside...)
Sora: (getting up) I'm ok, I really am. (he falls into the water from the pier) Ow! Hey, what the crap?! I'm not wet. (splashes around) I'm dry, I'm dry. Lalalalalalala.
(Sora runs to the shore and sees Selphie)
Sora: Hey Selphie!
Selphie: (runs at him screaming. She starts attacking him with her jump rope.) Die, Sora! Die!
Sora: (whips out his Ultima Weapon and lashes a combo on Selphie. His miniscule intellect is more than compensated for by his combat skills.
Selphie: (keels over) Oh, the pain! The agony!
Sora: (lends a hand to help her up) Sorry, Selphie.
(Selphie runs away afraid)
Sora: (is sad) Why are my friends acting so weird? (cheesy sentimental moment) I miss Donald and Goofy...
(a coconut hits him)
Sora: Wha- (he looks behind him to see an army of Bouncywild and Powerwild Heartless). Ah! (runs at them and kills them. He then collects all the munny and hp balls they leave behind. He doesn't find it the least bit odd that there are Heartless in his world after he sealed Kingdom Hearts. Go figure.)
Riku: (appears out of nowhere like he tends to do) Sora...the power lies within you. Don't be afraid of the darkness..
Sora: Oh, Riku. Cut it out!
Riku: Shoot, I thought I'd get you again. Remember last time when you fell for it! Haha, you were running around the secret place for an hour looking for the door. (rolls on the sand laughing)
Sora: You mean that was a joke?
Riku: (tries very hard to control his anger) Sora, why must you be such an idiot?
Sora: I love you too Riku! (hugs him)
Riku: Ack! Get off me you blood-sucking leech! (he pushes Sora away)
Sora: Gosh, Riku. Why are you being so mean to me? I thought we were best friends.
Riku: Think about it!
Sora: (tries to think, but it makes his head hurt) It hurts!
Riku: Sora, have you been thinking again?
Sora: Only because you told me to.
Riku: (sigh of frustration) Remember that day we fought at Hollow Bastion?
Sora: Yeah, you stole my keyblade and I felt angry, but everything's better now, right Riku?
Riku: You mean you can actually experience emotion? Perhaps you are more advanced than I thought.
Sora: ...
Riku: Anyway, that day, after you kicked my butt twice, I realized my true reason for being.
Sora: To be evil?
Riku: No...but it involves taking your keyblade again. (snatches Ultima Weapon from Sora)
Sora: Hey! Give it back!
Riku: Sorry, I'm afraid I can't. It will ruin everything.
Sora: (moves in slow motion) NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Riku: (disappears into a wave)
Sora: Waa! I want my keyblade back!
(cries)
Voice: He who knows little understands little.
Sora: Ansem?
Kairi: No, silly! It's me.
Sora: Kairi! (hugs her)
Kairi: (steps away) Why the long face?
Sora: Riku stole my keyblade. It made me sad..
Kairi: Oh...that's too bad. Well, bye!
Sora: Wait! Don't leave me here by myself!
Kairi: Bye! (she runs off to the Seaside Shack before Sora can chase her)
Sora: First I fell, then Riku stole my keyblade, and now Kairi is running away from me! What else could go wrong?
(a behemoth appears)
(Sora attempts to fight it, but then he remembers he has no weapon, so he runs away screaming like a girl scout being mugged)
(the seaside shack)
Kairi: So, you got the Keyblade, right?
Riku: Yes. (waves it around)
Kairi: Careful with that thing!
Riku: Sorry.
Kairi: And the behemoth?
Riku: I summoned it.
Kairi: Good. That little pipsqueak will be toast in no time. (evil laughter) To the Hollow Bastion!
(they go to the save point and board the gummi ship, since it now has access to Destiny Islands)
To be continued..
A/N: How did the Heartless reappear and the world borders reopen? Since when are Sephy and Aerith in love? Are they really? Why is Selphie homicidal? Why are Riku and Kairi evil? These questions and more will be answered.....later.