Author's Note: This was a story I needed to write - I really love the parallels between Reyna and Nico and the idea of how that will affect their relationship. Please read and review!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Bright constellations twinkled over the hills. Coach Hedge was snoring in the makeshift tent next to Nico, cuddling a pair of reed pipes. Reyna still wasn't sure whether she trusted him to keep watch alone on the next shift, but she would have to if she planned on getting any sleep.
No monster attacks yet, but it was only a matter of time. She closed her eyes for a second, treasuring this brief peace. She wasn't happy –really, could she ever be? – but at least she could pretend that the world wasn't ending for a minute or two.
Behind her, Nico groaned and shifted restlessly. Reyna turned to see his eyes blink open. He glanced sideways at Coach Hedge and raised his eyebrows. Reyna bit back a smile.
"I think we're someplace in Italy," she whispered. "Nothing exciting's happened yet, but the fa - the satyr and I are keeping watch."
"Mmm…hmm…" He rubbed his forehead and groaned. "Sometimes I hate shadow travel." Sighing, he sat up, shaking his head as if trying to get rid of bad dreams. He crawled out of the tent and sat next to her on the hill, crossing his arms and legs and scanning the curves of the landscape. They lapsed into an awkward silence.
Reyna didn't know what to do with him. Never had. He would show up at Camp Jupiter now and then, deliver a message, hang around for a while, help out with something, and leave. And then she found out he had been visiting Camp Half-Blood, too. Been there first, in fact. It didn't exactly make her trust him. But he had endured Tartarus to try to help defeat Gaea and almost died. And he had led the seven to the House of Hades. She had decided to reserve judgment, but that didn't mean she knew what to say to him when they were keeping watch in the Italian countryside.
She took a quick glance at him. His shoulders were hunched, like he was bracing himself for an attack. His lips were pressed together, and his eyes strained to show confidence.
Reyna inhaled sharply and closed her eyes, twisting her head to the other side. So much of his posture was familiar, so much of it was her on her bad days, when she didn't know how she would cope with all the stress, when she just wished there was someone to talk to.
"We'll make it home," she said aloud, only a little louder than a whisper.
Nico looked at her as if he couldn't quite tell who she was talking to. To be honest, she didn't know herself.
He looked down again.
"Maybe later tomorrow we can jump again – a shorter one this time."
"You don't want to exhaust yourself. Are you sure?"
"I think so. As long as I rest between I should be fine…but I don't know if it would be better to wait for several days and do a longer one. It depends on how many monsters we attract here."
She nodded. He tilted his head, giving her that look again, like he wasn't quite sure what to do with her. Then he dropped his head and fiddled with his shoelace as he spoke.
"Why'd you do it?"
She blinked, taken aback.
"Do what?"
"Break the rules. Cross to the ancient lands. Everything." He hunched his shoulders even more, as if he was afraid she'd lunge at him with her dagger.
"I…"
She wanted to brush off the question, say she did it because this was their best chance for peace, she trusted Annabeth…things that were true but not the entire truth.
"I don't know."
Nico looked slightly surprised at her answer.
"It's just…maybe it was a way for me to do something right, something good, when I just didn't know where I was going. Maybe I hoped that…" She bit her lip, not wanted to say anything else.
"You don't have to…" Nico trailed off, looking uncertain. Reyna took a shaky breath, trying to prevent herself from crumbling to pieces. Once her shell started to crack a little, it would be so easy to break. But she couldn't. Not now.
"I'm sorry. It was a fair question, but I just…I'm not fully sure why. I mean, I believed Annabeth when she said it was our best hope for uniting the camps and defeating Gaea, but…"
He nodded, smiling ever so slightly in an understanding way, like he could read between the lines.
"I know how it feels. To not fit in. Better than anyone." His voice dropped off, and his breath became shaky. "I'll always be the outcast because no one would ever want to be my friend. I'm too strange, too unnatural."
Reyna caught her breath. She could sense the pain behind his words, and she knew that she couldn't treat Nico di Angelo with this cold distance anymore, like she had whenever he had dropped by at camp. She didn't have to keep up a wall between her and anyone else here. She didn't have a reputation to maintain here.
She spoke hesitantly, like she didn't quite know how to form the words.
"I'm sorry, Nico. I know I treated you that way, too."
Now he looked truly surprised. His eyes met hers briefly, dark and full of so much sadness, before Reyna looked down again.
There was still this tension there – this unwillingness to break down the social barriers between them.
Nico bent his head.
"I…thanks. That means a lot, if you really…"
"Mean it?" She finished. He looked like he wanted to backpedal, but she didn't blame him for questioning her. "No, I…I get it. And I think I really…I do mean it. I judged you… but you're more than who you appear to be."
He tensed, like she was getting close to a sensitive topic.
"No, just…you tried to find the Doors of Death. You led the seven to the House of Hades. You volunteered to shadow travel halfway around the world. You're brave… and you're a good person."
She almost couldn't believe she was talking so readily. But there was just something about Nico that made her want to open up – like he could understand, like he would be there for her.
Nico blinked, and Reyna realized there were tears in his eyes.
"I didn't mean – "
He quickly wiped them away.
"It's nothing. Sorry."
She could so easily pull away, let silence overtake them again, ignore Nico's feelings, ignore her own. She fought bitterly with herself – retreat or step forward? Retreating was so natural it was like breathing, it was quick, it was simpler. Change was messy, change was terrifying, opening up was like jumping off a cliff without knowing how far the fall was – she couldn't do it, she couldn't –
Reyna found herself sucking in a trembling breath and fighting back the beginning of tears.
"No, I'm sorry. I'm just not any good at saying the right things. Crowds are easy, military officers, giving orders…but making friends? Actually just talking with someone? I-" Reyna bit back the words. Nothing was coming out right. Why couldn't she just do her job, get the statue back to Camp Half-Blood? Why did she have to complicate everything by believing she could trust this boy with the thoughts whirling inside her head?
Nico took a deep breath and stared pointedly down at the grass.
"No, it's not that. I just – I didn't expect you to say that."
Reyna didn't know what to say. She flicked her gaze up to the stars, letting their familiar patterns steady her. They really were beautiful – so bright, so quiet, so simple. How could the stars shine so brightly when the demigods were fighting against the earth itself for their very future? Why didn't the sky just gush rain and the fill with clouds in the night to block out the light? Why were some things so perfect when others were being savagely ripped apart?
Just because everything else is going wrong doesn't mean this moment can't go right.
Reyna closed her eyes, picking apart the thought piece by piece. One moment. One moment when she could step away from the weight of the world. Was it really possible?
Nico shifted next to her, tugging on his shoelaces. She needed to say something, let him know that that instant when she had let herself breathe a little more openly wasn't just an illusion or a mistake. That she could be a friend sometimes. That she could be better sometimes. Because she wanted that, she wanted that so much. To have a friend, to be that person that others would trust. It was her own fault she was untouchable, cold and aloof. But if one moment could go right, she wanted to believe she could change. She wanted to try.
"It's true. You really were brave."
He studied the curve of his shoe and bit his lip.
"For the record, so were you. Don't say you just did what was necessary."
She tugged on her braid, feeling the tears fill her eyes. She had to say it; she couldn't keep lying to herself any longer about part of the reason why she traveled so far and endured so much because of a simple note from Annabeth.
"I wanted them to accept me. I wanted…I wanted him to believe in me."
She drew her knees into her chest and buried her face in them, so he couldn't see the tears leak from her eyes.
Nico inhaled.
"Jason."
She couldn't speak; she just turned away, so she wouldn't have to answer. Why was she breaking down right now? Why was she crying when everything was depending on her?
And then he tentatively rested a hand on her shoulder, so lightly she might not even notice it was there.
"Reyna, I know how it feels."
She looked up, a tear running down her cheek.
"You want so badly for that one person to see you as a hero, but everything just falls short, and you're barely noticed." Nico's voice trembled, but he looked at her steadily.
Reyna's heart thudded. Oh gods, how could Nico know so well how she felt? Could he see it in her eyes? But looking at him, she knew it was true, that he understood her because he was there, too.
He took his hand off her shoulder, wary and nervous of her reaction.
"Yes," she whispered. "And I'm sorry, I didn't know that you…of course, I'm the one falling to pieces when we're on a super important quest, and…" She buried her face in her hands.
"Please," he laughed bitterly. "You're the one that's been holding so many people together for so long."
"No – I've been letting them tear each other apart for so long, but I have no right to self-pity, I only did it to myself…but gods, it still hurts."
She tried to take a deep breath to steady herself.
"I'm sorry. Again. And Nico, you know exactly how I feel. No one could know that unless…what happened to you?"
His friendly expression dropped; his face becoming harsh and cold again. He turned away from her, and Reyna felt a pang of guilt and loss.
"No, I didn't mean – I'm sorry. I know you don't want to talk about anything too personal, and…"
"Reyna, why do you keep apologizing?"
He turned his head around slightly, his eyes softer but still withdrawn.
"I don't know." She leaned forward, resting her chin on her knees. "It's just that I say hurtful things when I really don't mean to, and I feel so horrible about it. I just never know how to ask the right questions, say the right words."
She took a deep breath.
"You don't have to tell me anything. You've been kind enough to me. Forget I said anything."
The tension in his shoulders loosened slightly. He paused, drawing in a breath.
"No." Nico glanced sideways at her. "I think…maybe at some point…just not now. Not tonight."
She nodded, and he relaxed, leaning slightly against one of the logs.
They passed the time in silence, but it was more comfortable silence this time. She didn't have to feel so tense, so tightly coiled all the time. She could let out a breath, and with it let out some of the pain she was feeling, some of the stress, some of the loneliness. She could feel a beat of hope flicker in her chest every now and then and not have the urge to squash it because it was only wishful thinking. She could feel a little more broken, and yet somehow a little stronger.
Eventually, Nico started yawning, and Reyna ordered him back to sleep.
"We need you fully rested. I'll wake you up in the morning."
"What about you?"
"I have a bit more time on my watch. Then I'll wake Coach Hedge."
"You'll let him keep watch on his own?"
Reyna grinned.
"Well, at least we know we'll get woken up if he sees an enemy."
"Hopefully that enemy's not a rabbit."
She laughed, and Nico grinned. They're eyes met, and she saw in his all of what she was feeling – the pain, but also the flicker of hope.
He twisted his hands and stared at the tent.
"I think you're pretty good at saying the right things," he said quietly.
Reyna couldn't speak. She could only blink rapidly, feeling her heart warm for the first time in ages.
On impulse, Reyna reached over a squeezed his hand. He jumped, but then smiled uncertainly.
She pulled away as he crawled back into the tent. The moon shone down brightly on this little patch of land, and she stared up at the stars again, drinking in their faint, twinkling light.
At Camp Jupiter, she would never have thought she could become friends with Pluto's ambassador, the strange, mysterious boy who would pop in every now and then and always make her life difficult.
But now, she had been through so much – the pressure, the pain, the loss.
And now anything was possible.
For one moment, her world could be at peace.
For one moment, she could smile all the way from her heart.
Author's Note: I had intended for this just to be a one-shot, but I love writing the characters, so I'm planning on continuing in another story, but I don't know whether or not to just make it an extension of this one or write is as a separate story (with this one being more of a prequel). If anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them!
