Take My Hand

Eren wasn't a stranger to the act of holding hands; in fact, he really liked it. He's held the hand of his mother and his father many times in the past, and he's held the hands of his friends in much more recent years. But as he began to grow older, Eren was starting to understand that taking the hands of his friends was no longer appropriate. All of a sudden, hand-holding wasn't viewed as a "friendly" gesture, but an intimate one, and he was caught in between. If he couldn't hold hands with his friends, who could he hold hands with?

It wasn't that the young soldier was childish or infantile; that wasn't it at all. Being able to take someone else by the hand, guide them to their feet, lead them to where they needed to go, or simply to be able to feel the warm presence of someone else just being there, to Eren, that was what made holding a hand feel so special, so desired.

And he missed it. He missed being able to hold Armin's hand without getting laughed at. He missed being able to lace his fingers with his sister's without being accused of having ulterior motives. Whatever the cost, he just wanted to be able to feel that comforting connection when two palms were pressed up against one another, so on a sunny afternoon, with the windows open and the papers that had recently been signed off by officials blowing about, Eren visited his Corporal's office, his question baited and ready to be asked.

"Sir, do you mind it if we hold hands?"

At first, Corporal Levi didn't even look up from his paperwork. Eren's question had been so random and so unbelievably ridiculous that he had to ask him for clarification. "I beg your pardon, Eren?" the Corporal questioned, his voice directed down at his desk.

Now, Eren wasn't feeling so confident in himself. He knew what he wanted, and he knew that his Corporal probably thought of him as being pathetic, but he had to push forward. Slipping further into his office with tentative steps, the young soldier repeated his question, choosing to phrase it as a statement this time around. "I was wondering if you and I could hold hands, sir. That was my question."

That got enough of the Corporal's attention for him to lift his eyes away from the boring blurbs of text on his documents. "I heard you the first time," he said. "What I don't understand is why you want to hold my hand. What are you, five?"

"I'm fifteen, sir," Eren responded.

"That was a rhetorical question."

"Oh."

If Eren had thought that he hadn't been feeling so certain of himself before, he was really starting to feel it now. Obviously, he and his Corporal didn't share the same views on the peaceful properties of holding someone else's hand, but maybe if he expressed himself a little better, his superior wouldn't find him so strange. Luckily, he was already getting prompted with another question.

"Eren, are you going to answer me? If not, please take your leave. I have to finish reviewing these-"

"I don't mean to interrupt you, Corporal Levi, sir," Eren said, "but I am willing to answer you."

With a strained sigh, the Corporal set his papers aside - making sure to place a paper weight on them to reduce the chances of them being blown away by the wind - and said, "Very well, then. Go ahead."

Reversing his Corporal's sigh, Eren sucked in a big breath of air and tried to paint the picture that was going through his head. "When I was younger, I really liked getting to hold onto my parents' hands as we walked through the streets and stuff. As I got a little older, I starting getting to enjoy the feeling of being able to hold the hands of my friends. But sir, I've reached an awkward age where I can't do any of that anymore. One time, I tried to hold Armin's hand and people started laughing at us. Another time, when I was holding hands with Mikasa after training, some of my peers accused me of trying to make a move on her. Like, she's my sister, okay? It's just that..." he paused, collecting his breath, "...I've reached the point where I still really want to be able to hold hands with people, but I can't do that anymore, because of all of these social codes and regulations. Does that...make sense?"

Oh, it made perfect sense to the Corporal. He understood that, although he may have not shared the same need to constantly be holding onto other people's hands (that was just downright filthy), he could tell that this was something Eren truly desired and was truly in a dilemma over. He sighed again, however, this time, he propped his elbow up onto the surface of his desk and extended his fingers with a flick of his wrist.

Although his eyes had been watching every single one of his Corporal's movements, he was still very confused by them. "Um, sir?"

"Go on," the Corporal offered. "Take it. Take my hand."

Upon hearing such a statement, Eren's heart was pounding with both anxiety and excitement. He couldn't fully wrap his head around the fact that his Corporal was actually going to let him hold his hand, but he would worry about that later. He didn't really know the life expectancy of his superior's offers were, and he wanted to snag his chance before the deal went stale.

His feet carried him to the edge of his Corporal's desk, but even though he was walking, he felt like he was floating on air. Eren couldn't remember the last time he had held someone's hand - maybe two or three years ago - so what was about to happen right now was a long awaited treat to him.

With a swallow, Eren carefully reached out to where his Corporal was holding his hand steadily for him. At first, he misinterpreted the distance, and his fingers ended up coming into contact with the tiny bit of his wrist that was peeking out from the stopping point where his uniform jacket and his dress shirt ended. But that was no matter. With smooth precision, the young soldier simply slid his fingers up his Corporal's wrist, against his palm, and into the small spaces of partition that his fingers made.

Eren's last mode of method had been to close his fingers against his Corporal's knuckles. Honestly, he hadn't been expecting for the Corporal to reciprocate this kind of gesture. He was under the impression that his superior was doing him a service and wouldn't feel inclined to hold his hand in return. However, Eren ended up receiving a wonderful surprise.

Before he had even managed to curl his fingers himself, his Corporal took his hand into his own and held it with an astonishingly strong force. At first, Eren felt a bit uncomfortable with the intensity of his grip, but soon enough, he began to realize that it was that very kind of strength that he had been searching for all along. Comforting. Close. There.

"Eren, you like holding people's hands, because it makes you to feel safe, right?" Corporal Levi eventually asked, squeezing just a little bit harder. At this point, he was holding him so tightly that he could feel the young soldier's pulse beating against his palm.

Eren sheepishly nodded. "Yeah. It also makes me feel good to know that they're right by my side."

Corporal Levi nodded, as well, and as they stayed there, with their hands still intertwined and their fingers starting to explore the complexion of each other's skin, he had to admit that he was beginning to share some of Eren's thoughts on the whole "hand-holding" thing. When you were doing it with someone you cared deeply about, it was a nice feeling, one that he actually enjoyed.

"Well," Eren said, starting to slip his fingers away from his Corporal's, "I know that you're very busy, so I'll leave you alone now. Thank you for putting up with-"

In that moment, the Corporal's hand grasped automatically onto Eren's to keep him in place. Of course, this had startled the young soldier tremendously, but when the action was followed by his superior's parting words, Eren worries had been replaced with an overwhelming amount of ease.

"Feel free to hold my hand again whenever you'd like. I won't mind it."

He couldn't believe it. He really could not believe that the Corporal had just said that to him. Nodding excitedly, Eren smiled brighter than the sun as he agreed to his Corporal's permission, and said, "Thank you, sir. I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

It was from that day on that Eren and Corporal Levi never traveled anywhere together, sat anywhere together, or did anything together without holding on to one another's hand.

Hi there! Chappy here! :D

It is Day 7 of Ereri Week, and today's prompt is "Intimacy". (:

If any of you got an e-mail saying that I posted an update and got really excited because you thought it was "Feathers and Follies", don't worry! I will be posting the new chapter very shortly! For now, you can enjoy this little drabble. (:

But seriously, guys! Ereri Week ends tomorrow! Isn't that sad?! We'll all just have to wait for the next one. D:

On that note, I hope you enjoyed!

And as always, thank you for taking the time to read!

- Chappy