Disclaimer: I don't own KotOR. ]; But if I did... ;DDD Any unintentional references are not owned. I think that makes sense. Does it?
Prologue: Regrets
"I'm such an idiot," Revan murmured to himself as he gazed down at a holocron.
The holocron's design was unimportant, with no symbols or markings whatsoever. It was what was inside that was crucial. To anyone else, it would simply be a useless trinket, bound to be thrown away. To Revan, it was something he would guard with his life.
Holding incredible sentimental value, it contained pictures of them. Together. Not apart.
It had been a year since he'd come back, and another year of untold sorrows. Regrets. Longings. Who knew that Revan could ruin the very thing that he swore to protect?
No, not the Republic. Leaving to fight was never for the Republic; it was just a side objective to the thing he was trying to save. He was trying to protect Her.
Half of Revan knew that when he came back, it wasn't like Revan would carry Her off into the sunset. It wasn't like he would all of a sudden be forgiven. Be welcomed back with open arms. This side of Revan was all logic.
The other half of Revan could only hope. Hope that She would still love him, that She would forgive him. He was a fool to think that hope would help.
Because in the end, it was his hope that destroyed him.
It was hope that finished him off, where others could not. Hope was the maestro of his misery. At times, he wished to just... disappear into thin air. Vanish. Become non-existing. That would make things for him much, much easier. The pain, soon followed by the numbness... Sometimes, he wished for release. Whatever form it took; death, being cut off from the Force; whatever method there was to no longer make him feel was welcome.
So now, he was alone. It seems very cliche to say he drowned in his hopelessness, but Revan can swear he did. It was smothering, extinguishing all life...
And people used to wonder where the light in his eyes had gone.
He wouldn't want to wish this torture on anyone, not even his enemies. Because through this inhuman pain, you would seek death. And death was not granted.
It's not like anything else was expected.
A/N: My first story, yay! I must say, I'm kinda excited I'm finally posting. R&R pleez! ;D