(lets pretend leo didnt 'die' and seek out calypso and all that shiznit for the sake of the story).
"So, the internet," Percy sighs, placing a hand on his worn laptop lovingly, "It is a beautiful creation. Probably one of the greatest, up there with pizza and blue jelly beans."
Hazel Levesque isn't really sure how she ended up in this situation, but it's sometime after everything has happened, and the seven (plus Nico and Will) are currently at Percy's apartment, which he insisted on everyone visiting, before they all went their separate ways again. All Hazel knows is that she made an offhand comment on getting confused with all this slang everyone used, like 'BFF' and 'LOL' for starters.
"I still don't really get what the Internet is," Hazel had said, and it's probably the biggest regret of her life, because now she's been forced to sit in Percy's computer chair and stare blankly at the screen while the others discussed what to show her first.
It was Jason who suggested maybe you tube. Hazel didn't know what you tube was, and it didn't sound very great. You tube? Why would she want to be in a tube? Was it something connected to a tube?
It's actually YouTube, Hazel realizes as Percy types in what Annabeth calls a 'URL' (what it could possibly stand for, Hazel doesn't know, but it sounds a bit cool, for whatever reason), and there seems to be videos on the site. Hazel has seen videos before, if only briefly in Rome, having seen several girls giggling in Italian, watching the moving pictures on one's cell phone.
"It's basically just videos," Jason explains to her, hovering the white pointer thing over each of the titles, where the text illuminated blue (Hazel knows it's called a mouse, and if you think about it, she guesses it does kind of look like one), "There's funny videos, and music videos, and-"
"PewDiePie, she should watch PewDiePie," Will encourages, looking up from his game of Sorry! with Nico.
"We're trying to show her the Internet, not make her faint," Piper glares at the blond, and he throws his hands up as if surrendering, before ramming his blue piece into Nico's red.
"I hate you," Nico murmurs.
"Sorry, not sorry," Will grins back.
Hazel vaguely remembers hearing 'PewDiePie' from a younger Fifth Cohort member a few months back, but she has no idea what it means. It was probably a person. Maybe not a good person, judging from Piper's tone of voice. Nearly everyone is crowded around Hazel and it's a bit uncomfortable, especially when Leo reaches over and swats Jason's hand away from the mouse.
"Let's watch a cat video, I want to watch a cat video."
"We're not watching a cat video or PewDiePie," Piper says, and Hazel finds herself nodding in agreement, not sure if it was charmspeak or just agreeing with her friend.
"Are they that bad?" Hazel asks Piper, and Piper's eyebrows raise.
"He's nice-ish, I guess, I've met him once, at a…" Her eyes drift off, before she shakes her head and says, "His videos hold content I don't think you can handle."
"I'm glad you have faith in me," Hazel grumbles, but decides not to search 'PewDiePie' in the search bar anyways, "Anything else?"
"We could show her Facebook," Frank speaks up for the first time, observing everything awkwardly from the back of the group, "I had a Facebook, once. I got bored though."
"Facebook is ancient, my bro," Percy says, and Will grumbles something in response, but Hazel doesn't here, "Maybe Instagram."
"We need a phone for that," Annabeth points out, "And none of us have one."
"Paul does," Percy perks up, but Annabeth shakes her head.
"I doubt he has Instagram."
Instagram, Hazel does know, but she's not really keen on checking it out, so she asks,
"Anything else?"
"Well," Leo says casually, and Hazel knows instantly he's going to suggest something not very favorable, "We could always show her tumblr."
"We," Piper says over Frank's indignant yelp and Will's laugh, "Are not going to show Hazel tumblr."
Percy snickers, but Annabeth, Jason, and Nico look just as lost as Hazel feels.
"What's tumblr?" She asks, looking up at Frank for an answer, and his face turns red for a second, and he sputters something along the lines of 'a website that is very bad'.
"It's something you don't really want to check out," Piper insists, already taking the mouse away from Leo, who had sneakily slid it up to the search bar, but it's not just Hazel's interest that's peaked, but Annabeth's, too, because she manages to swipe the mouse from Piper's hand and types in the 'URL'. Hazel thinks she's getting a bit of a grasp on this.
A blue website pops up with a bit of a confusing layout, and it's already logged in, on what seems to be Percy's account.
"Why do you have a tumblr?" Piper hisses to Percy. He gives a half-hearted shrug.
"A few tumblr users streamed the new Stars Wars movie for free."
"Isn't that illegal?" Jason asks, but he's ignored.
Annabeth scrolls through tumblr, and Hazel is aware that it's just lines of text from different users, commenting on an original post. Alright, seems simple enough.
"I've heard of this before," Annabeth says, "It's for fans, right? They draw art for movies and books, right?"
"Well, fandom is just one part of tumblr, but yeah," Percy answers his girlfriend's question, "Look up something, anything, someone's probably drawn it or something."
Annabeth leans over Hazel, and she leans back as Annabeth types in Harry Potter. The screen loads for a minute, before displaying the results.
"Great," Piper says, reaching over for the mouse, "You've seen enough, I think it's-"
But Annabeth is scrolling down, and Hazel is thankful that Annabeth is a curious person (being a child of Athena and all that) because she doesn't really see what's so bad about this tumblr site, though she wonders if that's all the internet is for-social media.
More lines of text, and Annabeth is humming interesting, but then she scrolls and brings a certain piece of art into display, and makes both Hazel and Annabeth gasp and Jason choke on air. Piper and Percy give matching sighs, and now Will is dying while Leo hastily exits out of tumblr.
Hazel almost faints before running out of the room and into the bathroom, and it takes a combination of Piper's soothing charmspeak and Frank's promises of ice cream before she finally unlocks the door, face still bright pink.
When Hazel died, there had only been five Disney movies and she's only seen one of them (Fantasia). She'd enjoyed it immensely and had vaguely wondered a few times over the past year if they ever released anymore. To her delight (and slight dismay), many had been released, and that's how she found herself with her friends again the day after the Internet fiasco.
"Jungle Book, definitely the Jungle Book first," Frank suggests, but Leo shakes his head and says,
"Nah, man, definitely Big Hero 6."
"I think we should start off with a classic," Annabeth suggests, reaching for the popcorn bowl that's balanced on Will's lap. Nico's here because Hazel is here, and Will is here because Nico is here, and over all it's a very tight fit on the couch (poor Frank and Jason are both sitting dejectedly on the floor, and Leo's balancing precariously on an armrest) but Percy's mom made some killer blue brownies, so it's not so bad.
"Yeah, but like…" Frank frowns at the movie collection in front of him, before frowning at Percy, "Dude, you only have, like, eight."
"And how many do you have?" Percy snaps.
"All of them," Frank says at the same time as Piper and Will, and Percy suddenly seems a bit ashamed of himself, which nearly makes Hazel choke on the popcorn she just swallowed from trying not to laugh.
Eventually, everyone comes to an agreement of Mulan (well, mostly everyone-Leo still wants Big Hero 6 and Will really wanted Brave), so Hazel nestles herself more comfortably onto the couch and watches the movie.
By the time the movie is over, both Leo and Nico have fallen asleep, but Hazel didn't find it boring at all. Rather, there's a big grin on her face, because watching the movie had brought the same sort of nostalgia Fantasia had, and it her that suggests that they watch another. The others let Hazel pick this time, and she looks at the other titles. Brave, the Jungle Book, Big Hero 6, and Hercules just to name a few. For some reason the Hercules case looks like it's been scratched repeatedly with a pen. In the end, Hazel chooses the Lion King, and everyone smiles at the choice (save Leo, who groans because he still wants to watch Big Hero 6).
Frank and Hazel are wandering the Big City together alone the next day, because even back then Hazel's always wanted to see New York, and Frank mumbles that he's only been here once, but that was when he was ten and they were visiting Niagara Falls when they did so.
There are many shops, flashing signs and loud people, but Hazel finds it somewhat...Comforting. Surrounded by regular mortals, no monsters or sword-wielding demigods shouting "die!" in sight. She's in a good mood as Frank suggests they stop at a hamburger restaurant, and so they do.
Hazel orders a chili burger while Frank takes a little longer to decide, before settling on a regular cheeseburger, and hands the cash register the American cash.
"Where did you get that?" She asks as they sit at the comfortably squashy red booth, and Frank mumbles something about Annabeth, and soon they're just reminiscing about things. A frowning waiter arrives with their food, and Frank grins before standing up with his empty cup, and Hazel follows. They have to fill it up themselves at an electronic drink machine with a touch screen, which Hazel has only used once before.
Frank fills his cup with an orange soda, and Hazel taps on the Coca-Cola logo, in the mood for some, but to her shock, several more bubbles pop up.
"What-what's this?" She asks, but she answers her own question by reading them. Vanilla, cherry-they're all different flavors. She feels a bit scandalized. When she was alive, there was one flavor of Coca-Cola. She doesn't know why, but it feels like betrayal.
"They're...Different flavors of Coke," Frank says unhelpfully, "Just pick one, and it'll give you the flavor."
Still feeling scandalized, Hazel settles for regular Coca-Cola, and together, they siddle back into the booth. Hazel takes a few bite of fries, laughs at Frank's attempt at a joke, and sips her Coca-Cola-and nearly spits it back out.
Frank notices the look on her face and sets his burger down, seemingly unaware of the ketchup at the corner of his mouth, and he asks,
"What?"
"What-this isn't-this isn't Coca-Cola!" Hazel cries, pushing the cup away from her. Frank blinks, before realization dawns on his face, and he says,
"Oh, yeah, I read about this somewhere. So, in 1980-whatever, they changed the Coke recipe. So it probably tastes a lot different."
Hazel feels scandalized, betrayed, unsure of what to believe anymore. Coca-Cola had been a wonderful thing for her in the past-occasionally, she'd find an unopened can a customer had left on her mother's table when they visited the gris-gris shop, or the really nice man who sold fish a block away would offer some, and every time she did sip the beverage, it was a good memory, brought a bit of warmth to her stomach because it was familiar and it was something her mother loved.
Hazel refuses to drink the Coca-Cola (it's not even Coca-Cola, not even that! It's a fake!) and eats her chili burger, wondering what else has changed.
Hazel wasn't around when slushies came into existence, but she wishes she had been, because she really likes them. She, Piper, and Annabeth are out for a 'girl's day', before everyone goes their separate ways, and it's brought a bit of a sad feeling. After getting over the Coca-Cola scandal (and then, getting over the banana scandal, because those were definitely not bananas, she didn't know what they were but they definitely weren't bananas).
It makes Hazel's head spin when she looks at the new trends of this age. Women are showing much less skin and men's pants sag low, and she finds herself fanning her face a few times, because how could they handle that?
She's glad Piper and Annabeth aren't the sort of girls who'd suggest a visit to a clothing's store, because she thinks she'd probably just faint if she saw what was in stores.
"I think you're pretty great, Hazel," Piper suddenly says, and Hazel looks up at her friend.
"Why?"
"Well, if I was from the 1940's, and suddenly transported to the 2000's, I'd probably faint," Piper says, and Annabeth nods in agreement.
"I've honestly felt like that a few times," Hazel admits, curling a strand of her hair around her finger, "It's a bit difficult getting used to everything, but...I think I'll be able to manage."
"You should keep a list," Piper suggests, "Of everything you should check out."
"I've already done that," Hazel pulls the crumpled slip of paper from her denim pocket. There's three things hastily scribbled on it-things Jason and Percy had suggested (Leo had suggested a few things too, but Hazel wasn't sure if she should trust him). Spongebob, Marvel, and Mario were written on it, and to Annabeth and Piper's suggestions, she added Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Tetris and skiing to the list. Hazel's not sure where in New York she'll be able to go skiing, but she decides that she'll try it one day.
It's movie night for the last time, and Hazel's just watching everyone argue over what to watch.
"Ghostbusters," Frank says, but nobody is agreeing with him, "Come on, it's a classic."
"While I agree, my friend, you're in the same room as the one person alive who's still pure," Percy says, looking pointedly at Hazel. She blinks, clearly confused.
"What?"
"Star Wars," Percy says, and everybody goes quiet. Then, Leo gasps.
"The last person alive who doesn't know...Whoa." He seems to be in awe, but Hazel is just even more confused.
"What? Doesn't know what?" Hazel asks desperately, and Piper rolls her eyes before saying,
"That Darth Vader is-"
Everybody in the vicinity shouts at her to be quiet, even Nico and Annabeth.
"Alright, Star Wars it is," Percy rubs his hands together (Jason had wanted to see Star Trek, but everybody had given him this look when he suggested it), "But only the original trilogy, okay?"
"Why one through three, though?" Frank asks, "I liked those."
After everyone has calmed down ("Say Jar Jar Binks is an abomination, say it!") they sit in the sitting room once again, though this time Frank and Jason have claimed the couch and Percy and Hazel can barely squeeze in. Will is sitting on an armrest and trying to get Nico to sit in his lap, which made both Hazel and Nico's faces turn red when he suggested it. Everybody else is sitting on the floor.
The first movie they watch (the fourth, Percy says) was okay, and at the end of it everybody looks at her, but she only shrugs. It was okay, truly. She didn't really find the characters so interesting, but the plot was interesting enough to maintain her attention.
At the end of the fifth movie, everybody looked at her eagerly, and Hazel blearily realized they were waiting for a reaction.
"It was okay," She repeats, and Percy makes a high whine of frustration.
"But did you expect it, is the question," Leo asks, shifting closer to get a good look at Hazel's face, "Did you?"
"No," Hazel admits, "But I didn't really see what the big deal was."
Annabeth hastily slides the sixth movie into the DVD player, because the boys are giving her disappointed looks and Hazel isn't entirely sure why.
Hazel fell asleep midway through the final Star Wars movie, and woke up when Will accidentally lost his balance and fell right into her and Frank's laps. Nico's laughing, Leo is humming innocently. She's not sure what happened, but everyone is in distress because Will sent the popcorn bowl flying.
The sixth Star Wars movie ends without anyone really paying attention, and it's only when Leo suggests a Tristan McLean movie and Piper threatens to use her charmspeak to make him dance with his underwear on his head does everyone decide, that's enough movies for tonight.
Hazel honestly isn't sure what half of everything means, or if she'll be able to understand everything the way her friends, who had grown up in the modern age, understood things, but she's just glad that she has them, willing to lend a helping hand in this new era.
Percy Jackson has a tumblr and nobody can tell me otherwise.
I wrote this a week ago and forgot to publish it, oops.
My first PJO/HOO fanfic, sorry.
BONUS:::
It's driving Hazel crazy, because she must know who PewDiePie is. Leo and Will kept dropping hints that yes, she should definitely watch PewDiePie, and Piper keeps saying no, she shouldn't watch it, and since she's leaving in an hour, she decides she might as well. Just a peek, a glimpse.
Typing 'YouTube' into the bar (Hazel is confident she has mostly figured out how everything works) Hazel waits for the page to load, before searching PewDiePie. The first result in an icon of a fist, and Hazel clicks it.
It's probably one of the biggest regrets of Hazel's life, because the first video that she sees on the page is entitled BIG BREASTED GLASSES and there are breasts displayed. Hazel shrieks and slams the laptop cover down, deciding to never, ever take suggestions from Leo Valdez and Will Solace ever again.