A/N: Hope you enjoy this fic ^^ If there are any mistakes, it is because I have no English beta and it isn't my first language D: Please, review =D

No spoilers, you can read it as for anytime during the series ;]

Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist

I never wanted things to change. They just do. It's like you think you know someone and then something makes you see that you don't, not at all. I wish I could just put my heart in a box and become a machine which only feel hatred, only wish to seek for Red John, nothing else.

But it is not possible. Not with the way she smiles at me or roll her eyes when I do my job, or some 'contradiction' as some may call.

Sometimes, I find myself lost in her eyes. I know how it sounds, but it is exactly what happens. I believe that why I mostly don't follow the plan; I don't hear it. Well, who am I trying to fool? I don't hear because I don't want, when she starts to talk and I look at her, I find a determination, her thirst for justice (which I often solve, but in my own way).

She deserves better than me, someone seeking for revenge. This is a game and she is just one of the pieces.

But what if I want her to be more?

Don't be so selfish.

Isn't revenge selfish enough?

Maybe yes, maybe not. I only know a few things: I want to hug her and call her mine. I want to hold her in the bad moments and whisper 'it's okay', and if it's not, make it fine. I don't want to go home alone anymore.

I want to scream, so that the whole world can hear, 'I love you, Teresa Lisbon'.

"Jane?" I looked up and she was there, calling for me. I love it when she says my name. "Are you fine? You seem… Aloof." I laughed. If she only knew how close to her my 'aloofness' was.

I nodded. "Just fine." She looked at me, as asking 'you sure?' and I gave her a reassuringly smile. People need to smile more often, you know. She sat by my side, at the(or mine) usual couch, and started to stare at nowhere.

"You know," She started and I looked at her, but not at her eyes, so I wouldn't get lost, not at her lips, so I wouldn't get caught. "People need to smile more often." She smiled and it was as suddenly (or not so suddenly) the entire room was bright. And she knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Yes. Smiles are always good to make us happier." She nodded and sighed, closing her eyes. She lied back and started to stare at the ceiling.

"You know what else people should give more value?" I shook my head, and even without looking at me, she knew my answer. "The sky." Her answer surprised me and I felt like asking 'why?', but she answered me before I could ask anything. "It is always looking at us; it may know a lot more than everyone. But we barely look at it."

"Maybe this is because it is so high above us." I joined her at looking up, but the sky couldn't be seen from where we were.

"Maybe." She shrugged and looked at me. "You know, it doesn't take a very smart person to notice that sometimes you keep staring at me." He looked at her, shocked by how easily the subject could be changed. A little smile played on his lips.

"Why? Do you like it?" I asked, amused with the situation and even more when she blushed, avoiding my gaze.

"That's not the problem…"

"Uh-oh, someone's avoiding the main topic!" I grinned, having a lot of fun for seeing the effect I had on her. I put an arm around her shoulder and she looked at it, giving to me the time needed to cup her cheek and make her look in my eyes. "Because doesn't matter what you say, I really appreciate looking at you." She offered me a little smile back and rolled her eyes. Did I already say that I absolutely loved when she did it? I leaned in, and swore that her heart beat a little faster, but maybe it was just my imagination.

But nothing could happen.

"Someday, you're going to answer my question." I offered her a mischievous smile and rose from the couch, winking at her and leaving the room, to get some tea. I could almost see her shaking her head, but I only wish things were different… She wasn't just a workmate, Red John got caught and someone (me, but I don't totally dislike the idea of someone else killing him, I wouldn't be arrested at least) killed him, and maybe, just maybe, people would smile more often.

Maybe, someday.