[Hello, everybody!!*waves frantically*Sorry, I'm nervous...^^ first fanfic uploaded on here people! Now be nice and tell me what you think after you read it, 'kay? Oh, and one more thing, italicised and underlined words are Wolfram's thoughts, and (almost forgot) Disclaimer : I don't own Kyou kara maou or any related franchise!]

The Prince Consort Tales : Chapter 1

In which the Prince Consort is publicly embarrassed - Again

Lord Wolfram Von Bielefeld was in the town market.

What he was doing there, the people supposed, was his own crazy business. But they were all sure that they had voted him the most snobbish, selfish noble ever. Even more than his uncle, Lord Waltorana, and definitely enough to turn his nose up at the commoners market. His fiancé, on the other hand, had taken to Shin Makoku like a duck to water. His Majesty the Maou, Shibuya Yuuri of Earth, the fabled 'other world', was kind and merciful. The first thing his people had noticed about him after the conspicuous lack of a title in his name, and his double black features, was that he had a calm head. And he couldn't write.

Another thing they could vote unanimously for as extremely confusing was their engagement. It was common knowledge that it had started out as an accident – another display of illiteracy by their king and quite embarrassing for Wolfram. But somewhere along the way (exactly two years, three months and four days ago, as some fanatics recorded), something had sparked in Shibuya Yuuri's heart, and he had embarrassed his poor fiancé (again) by snogging him without a warning in that very marketplace. Co-incidentally, Yuuri was the reason Wolfram was there now in the first place.

"Oi! Watch where you're going, tramp!", he snapped at an innocent child, who ran off with a whimper. Wolfram sighed, once again wondering why he couldn't get the baker to come up to the castle. Who cared if no one could lug a three foot tall cake all the way there? It certainly wasn't his problem. It was the baker's and he ought to take care of it. Without complaining to Yuuri about it. Because that would make him get mad and tell Wolfram to get it himself. As he had.

Damn that stupid wimp.

People were lighting lanterns outside their stalls and shops now and Wolfram still couldn't figure out where the hell the bakery was. The crowd was thinning slowly, giving him some hope of seeing the board he had been assured he would see.

"Who was it, boy? Who called my sonny a tramp?"

Wolfram was suddenly aware of voices from a window to his left. A bell tinkled away as the door beside the window swung opened and a large man and a skinny boy walked out, hand in hand. Wolfram's eyes widened as he recognised the boy to be the one he had shooed away a little while back. The kid emitted a frightened squeak, "It's that man, the one with icky green eyes, Papaw!"

"Oh? Who d'you think you – eh?! Lord Von Bielefeld!", the baker – the flour smeared on his apron gave him away – bowed low to Wolfram, who grunted his acknowledgment.

"Are you the baker?"

"Y-yes, s-sir."

"Then give me my cake already!"

This caught the attention of the crowd, already smirking and nudging. Most of them could imagine Wolfram with a icing mustache.

"Your Excellency?", came an impossibly high pitched voice from behind Wolfram.

"What is it?", he asked irritably, as he turned around to face the trembling subordinate. He noticed the poor boy had on one of the pathetic cadet uniforms that newbies to Conrart's troops wore. He had an important looking scroll (with ribbons and tassels and everything) but he was failing miserably in the looking important part – his helmet was way too large, it touched the tip of his nose; it looked like he was wearing the uniform for the first time in his life.

Wolfram sighed. Who the hell would send a messenger to him? People were so out of touch with new developments. Why did the mazoku breed so many carrier pigeons and doves if no one ever used them?(But, reflected Wolfram, the mazoku in charge of that particular project was Gwendal, so the breeding might have had more to do with their cuteness and less to do with carrying)

The messenger-cadet bowed and held the scroll out. "It's – it's for you, s-s-sir."

Never in his life (except two years, three months and four days ago) had he been so flabbergasted before. How dare he? Did the lowly cadet really think he'd read it himself?

Then he realised where they were standing and snatched the scroll out of his hands.

You are cordially invited to

a Royal Wedding

Here Wolfram stopped and his eyes widened. Mother's getting married again?!! He frowned. We must tell her to stop that; she's way too old for this . Last time around, the almost-groom was Gwendal's age!

"Sir?", prompted the messenger.

Wolfram took a deep breath and continued.

Twice bles't by Shinou Daikenja alike

To be held at

the Shinou Shrine

In accordance with the

Honourable Laws of Shin Makoku

On the first day of Monsoon

under the full moon

Having finished reading the (unnecessarily long) parchment, Wolfram realised the people all around them were holding their sides and laughing their heads off. Oh my Shinou. Has everyone developed mind reading abilities? Why must Mother be so dramatic? This is so unsuitable for her age.

Then he noticed the tiny 'P.T.O' at the bottom of the scroll. And at last, there it was – the masterpiece that had more than half the city in splits.

HRH

Yuuri

weds

H (former & soon-to-be) RH

Wolfram

Eh?!!!

"Like it?", said a familiar voice in his ear as the ill-fitting helmet clunked to the ground.

What the?

Yuuri was suddenly pulling him closer, tilting his chin up so he could look down into the blonde's eyes, smirking smugly.

"What do you think your doing, you stupid wimp? Let me go this instant or I swear, I'll file a molestation case against you!"

"But Wolf, I'm your fiancé."

"I don't care. Gwendal does all the paperwork anyway, since you're too much of a wimp to do it yourself, so I'll just go ahead and complain if you don't LEMME GO!"

"Oh, I think I'll pardon myself and let myself go after a warning.", said Yuuri, reminding him that the Maou still had the power to overrule any decision an Aristocrat made.

"Wipe that smile off your face and Let. Me. Go, Yuuri. This is not funny." Wolfram was beginning to wonder where this was all going. How did the wimp acquire so much courage outside Blood Pledge Castle?

"But this is very...nice, Wolfram.", murmured Yuuri. Instantly, he felt the ends of his now shoulder length hair begin to burn.

"Aaah! Okay, okay!" He hastily let go of Wolfram, opting instead to aim jets of water at his beautiful (in his opinion, anyway) locks. "Wolfram,-"

"Go for it, Heika!", came a voice from the crowd, sounding suspiciously like a certain orange-haired spy to Wolfram.

"Wolfram," he started again, this time with the same smile, "You didn't answer my question." He leaned down to whisper in Wolfram's ear, "Did you like my pretty card?"

Wolfam answered (much to his own surprise and in a quivery voice he was sure wasn't his own), "I think it was pathetic."

"Heika!", came the voice again, this time a little threatening. Wolfram felt Yuuri inhale deeply against him and move away, taking his hands in his own. He found himself missing, for no apparent reason, Yuuri's warmth in the cold pre-rain weather; the very realisation making his cheeks redden a few shades more.

"Wolfram Von Bielefeld, will you marry me?"

Wolfram blinked. Slowly. He blinked again.

That was what the stupid scroll was about?!! What the friggin' Soushu?!!

And then; I Will Murder That Wimp.

"YUURI! YOU WIMP! How dare you? This is the most pathetic thing you have ever done! I have never been more insulted in my life!" Here he stopped for breath, and Yuuri seized his chance.

"Wolf, say yes before I go Maou and order you to." This was accompanied by the people yelling out their vows to help him on the top of their voices. The prospect of being crushed by water dragons, earth golems, fire beasts and tornadoes at the same time was enough to spook even the Maou in Yuuri (who, incidentally, had been snickering in his head up until now).

So it was no wonder when Wolfram, obviously cowed, obeyed.

"Okay, but-" -how much champagne did you have at lunch today? He completed as Yuuri kissed him full on the lips, setting off the fireworks, making his heart do ballet, and publicly embarrassing him – yet again.

R& R!!!! ::glomps::