A/N: Okay, this one was another one-shot that i wrote, during a time when i was not having a good day. so i wanted to write something that had a sad feeling to it and was listening to shinedown for inspiration...

Song in fic: Shinedown-45

Don't own hetalia, or shinedown (just to let you all know) Hetalia and shinedown belong to their respective creators.

only own the OC (fem. ire aka Laura-in name this time)

The rain kept pouring down as Gilbert brushed some wet strains of silvery white hair out of his face. But more just feel in his face, as the rain kept falling down on him, leaving his hair all wet.

But it just wasn't just his hair, his enter body was drenched to the skin.

But he didn't care.
He didn't feel anything….
He wasn't anything….

He kept on walking as he was trying to go as slow as he could, trying to make time go even slower. As he did, feel could feel all the memories flowing into his mind….

Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
You keep these feelings, no one knows

He could feel all the good memories, the bad ones, all the times that he could have made better choices…..
Oh, how he wished that he could change all the choices that he had made,

But he knew….
He couldn't.

Whatever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

He could feel his heart, filling with sorrow and pain, at knowing that he had left his loved one to die…
By his very own hand.

He closed his eyes, letting his mind go back to that time, that time of horror and loss….
As he could hear the gun go off in his mind, and feeling the life, that little life….
Slip away through his very fingers…

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

He remembered his own screams…
The sounds of the body falling to the ground…
The feel of the blood on his hands, as her life was slipping away from his very own finger tips…..

Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf

But no matter what he did, no matter how much he begged and pleaded, he wasn't able to do anything to save her.

He had let her die….
His own flesh and blood….
One of his own family….

Left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

He kept walking as he kept thinking about that time. When he had finally reached his destination, he slowly got down on one knee as he gently placed the bouquet of flowers on her grave.

He stared at her nameplate for a few minutes, as he tried to hold back the tears, that wanted to be shed.
He read her name over and over as he lightly traced his hand over the letters of her name, as if somehow this was the only was the only way he could ever be this close to her again.

He softly said the nameplate outloud, but it came out in a soft small whisper….

Laura GreenHeart…
Beloveded sister, that will be forever loved…

What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

"I'm so sorry, liebe. I did everyzhing zhat I could." Gilbert said softly as he lightly touched the gravestone. "If you somehow are able to hear me, vherever you are, please forgive me…

For being such a failure as a big bruder…"

He continued to stay there for a few minutes, then he got up and started walking away; not before looking back at the grave and whispering softly, these words:

"Goodbye, mein liebe schwester…."

Some time later, Gilbert was looking through some boxes that he had kept of all her things. The side of the box was labeled: Laurain bold large letters. He looked through some old photographs as he could feel himself start to choke back a few sobs.

Somewhere in the room, the radio was playing music…..

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

"Zhis is all mein fault. Schwester's death, is all on mein hands." Gilbert thought as he let out the sobs and tears that he was holding back. He cried for a long time, until his throat was raw and his eyes were red and puffy like.

Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me

Even though he was told that it wasn't his fault, he knew somehow that this was his fault. He thought it over and over on how he could have tried to stop this from happing, but nothing he thought of, could have made it differently…..

She would still be dead, dead by his hands….

Nobody knows what I believe
I believe

He thought of what to do now, but only one thing came to his mind….
He went over to the other side of where the box was and pulled out, a small hand gun…

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

"Zhis is zhe only vay, I can attone for all mein sins. I'm sorry, schwester…..I'm sorry, bruder…." Gilbert thought as he cocked the gun and put the gun close to his chest. He slowly counted to ten, as he unlocked the safety and waited till he was calm enough to do this.

Bruder….schwester…please, forgive me….und I'm so sorry….for everything…"Those last thoughts ran through Gilbert's mind as he let himself go and heard the shot of the gun as its killing bullet went through his chest.

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45
And I'm swimming through the ashes of another life

Soon, many hours later or so, Gilbert could hear the faint calls of someone yelling his name as he layed there with his lifeblood draining out of him…..
Knowing that whatever had happens next, would be okay with him. He didn't mind that death would be coming for him next. He just wanted to pay the price for his mistakes.
He could feel his eyes getting heavy and knew that he didn't have much time left.

So he slowly closed his eyes as his world faded to black….

There is no real reason to accept the way things have changed

Suddenly, Gilbert jolted awake, as something was beeping loudly in his head. He looked and saw that he was in a hospital room. He felt confused as the memories started to slowly come back to him.
He heard the door open as his head turned to see who it was.

He was surprised to see Ludwig at the door, with a shocked look on his face.

"BRUDER!" Ludwig yelled as he raced over to his brother and gave him a big hug. "Vhy vould you do somezhing as stupid as zhat? You had me vorried sick you dummkopf!"

Gilbert didn't say anything for a few minutes as his brother lectured him on being such an idiot and all that stuff. When he was done lecturing, Gilbert looked at his brother, with eyes full of sorrow and sadness.

"Bruder…..i'm sorry. Because of mein mistakes, schwester is dead und it's all mein fault." Gilbert said, as he covered his face with his hands. "I tried to save her, but I couldn't. so I zhought, zhat if I killed mein self, I could make amends for all zhe trouble I caused vith mein sins…"

Staring down the barrel of a 45, 45
Staring down the barrel of a 45

"Gilbert…"Ludwig said gently, trying to calm his brother down. "It doesn't matter vhat you do. You didn't cause any of zhis. Und even if you tried to kill yourself, don't you zhink zhat vould hurt schwester a lot more?"

Gilbert listened to his brother, knowing that what he was saying was true. It would cause her a lot more suffering and pain, if either one of them was killed her hurt.

"You don't vant to see her suffering or in any more pain, vherever she is?" Ludwig asked.

"Nein, I don't. zhat's zhe last zhing I vould ever vant for her…" Gilbert said, as he slowly put down his hands and looked at his brother. "But Bruder, do you zhink…she vill ever forgive me? For all zhat I did?"

"Ja, I zhink….if she vere here, I zhink she vould….for both of us…." Ludwig said as he put a comforting arm around his brother, as they both took the time to be able to grieve for their lost loved one.

All they had left was each other, but they knew that even though they were far apart, they would always be close to each other. And sometime, they would be reunited again.
But for now, they would try to live their lives to the fullest and best as they could…

As she would have wanted, for their dear sister's memory…

A/N: alright, i did say it would be a sad one. again, as usual, i would like to hear the thoughts on how this one-shot turned out. so read and review please...

until next time meh freinds...~